


Summer Storms

by roslinadamasinequanon



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Children, Drama, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-04
Updated: 2007-02-04
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:11:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 96,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roslinadamasinequanon/pseuds/roslinadamasinequanon
Summary: A hurricane bears down on the east coast and a series of possibly life threatening health problems create dark clouds over Abbey's head





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Abbey awoke to the cries of the seagulls that perched themselves on the rocky cliffs of Windy Point waiting to dive for a fish in the ocean below. The breeze that caused her gauzy white curtains to flutter brought with it the tangy scent of the sea. She snuggled under her white comforter and inhaled the briny scent deeply. She was never disoriented for long waking up here; even the Chesapeake did not give off that special smell of salt and seaweed and the faintest whiff of beach roses. In New Hampshire she awoke to the lowing of cows, the nickers from the horses in the barn, and the haunting calls from the pair of loons that made their home on the pond. In the White House she awoke to complete and utter silence. Nothing could penetrate the bulletproof windows and the thick walls. The only thing the White House had that she missed right now was Jed. She sighed when she thought of her husband and slid her legs over the side of the bed, yawning and stretching before getting to her feet. She made her way to the shower and stepped under the warm stream of water. 

Ever since the morning Jed had come to her in Maryland needing something that she hoped she had been able to give him, he had seemed preoccupied, often lost in thought. She had caught him several times reading the Bible and the ancient philosophers he often turned to when he needed guidance. She knew that he was struggling with some inner conflict and she yearned to tear down the wall he had erected around himself. But, she knew Jed. She trusted him. This inner turmoil he was experiencing had something to do with his job, not his personal life; and she knew that there were certain parts of that job that she could never be privy to. That had been so hard to accept at first. She and Jed had always shared everything, including work problems; and now he couldn't always do that with her. She had learned to deal with that reality and, while sometimes her frustration was apparent, she tried to keep it to a minimum. Right now she just wanted Jed to join her and the kids and try to lighten the heavy load that he carried. 

Refreshed and ready to face the day, Abbey combed her wet hair out and threw on a pair of khaki shorts and a heavy navy sweater. Mornings on the Maine coast were notoriously cool. She peeked in on the twins and, surprisingly enough, she found them both still sleeping. She smiled, thinking of how all of her kids had slept better here at the beach. She wasn't sure if it was the sea air or if they were just worn out from playing on the beach all day, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. She poured herself a cup of coffee and made her way out to the porch where she sat on the swing and watched a lobster boat anchor down by the edge of the point next to a bright red buoy that marked where his traps were. That was old Elias Donovan. Eli had been working his lines for as long as she had been summering at Windy Point. He was the only one the Service allowed to get this close to presidential property. There was no way they were going to tell that crusty old Mainer that he couldn't harvest the lobster traps that he'd been running for fifty years simply because one of the summer Bartlets was now the President. Jed had concurred and Eli had been allowed his traps. It hadn't been a completely altruistic decision on Jed's part as they often got some tasty lobster out of the deal. 

Abbey leaned her head back against the swing and closed her eyes, relishing the utter peace and tranquility of the moment. While she might miss her husband, she did not miss the President and his entourage. She did not miss the staff being in and out of her house or the heavy security presence that came with him. For the past few days she had truly been able to relax. She had played with the kids in the sand and taken them and Max for long walks on the beach in their stroller. She had read novels that were completely un-work related in the hammock under the pine trees at the point and cut some of the beach roses to fill the vases in the house. Solitude had its virtues and she had enjoyed these days but now she was looking forward the arrival of more and more people as the week progressed until the house was finally filled with family and friends for a big Fourth of July barbecue. 

As she took another sip from her now cold coffee, Abbey heard some movement in the kitchen and peered through the window to see Izzy setting up the twins' high chairs. Aislinn and Nicholas sat on the floor in their pajamas, bleary eyed and whimpering. Neither of them was particularly at their best in the morning but as Abbey entered the kitchen both rose to their feet with smiles and toddled sleepily into her arms. 

"You guys want to come sit with Mommy on the porch while Izzy heats the water for your oatmeal?" 

The answer was a resounding 'yes' from both children. Abbey brought them back out onto the porch swing and snuggled both their warm bodies to her chest, pulling the heavy Hudson's Bay blanket over the three of them. Both lay heavy and sleepy against her. 

"Don't go back to sleep, Aislinn." Abbey kissed her forehead and turned her so she could see down to the cliffs and the blue ocean beyond. "Look at the seagulls. Do you see the seagulls?" Abbey pointed toward the water. 

"Gull." Nicholas took his thumb out of his mouth and pointed to the same bird Abbey was pointing at. 

"Gull," Aislinn nodded, then squealed with laughter when the gull dove from the cliffs down to the water. 

"He's diving to catch a fish for his breakfast," Abbey told them. 

"Fishy, fishy…" Aislinn began to squirm hoping to see the fish her mother spoke of. 

"Ma'am, their breakfast is ready." Izzy poked her head out the door to the porch. 

"Okay, we're coming." 

"Do you know what your plans are today?" Izzy asked. 

"I think we're just going to stay close to home. I'll probably take them down to the beach later this morning. Elizabeth is supposed to be driving Annie up sometime this afternoon so I want to make sure that we're here." 

**** 

As Elizabeth made her way up the porch stairs with her daughter by her side, she could smell what was cooking in the kitchen before even opening the door. Annie looked at her and gave her a big grin. It was the first smile Elizabeth had gotten from her daughter since they had left New Hampshire. Annie had definitely entered her teen years and nothing Elizabeth did seemed to please her. It didn't help that the girl was very sensitive to the tension between her and Doug. Had it been a year since she had confessed to her mother their fertility problems? Had it been an entire year that she had been so miserable? 

"Gram's making clam chowder!" the girl exclaimed as they made their way into the kitchen. 

Annie's moods always seemed to improve when she was with her grandparents, whether it was here or at the farm or even the White House. Elizabeth hoped this year would be no different. She lifted the lid to the simmering pot and both began to inhale deeply. There was nothing like Abbey's homemade clam chowder made from an old family recipe that had been passed down through the generations. A recipe that would one day be followed by Elizabeth and then Annie. It was the smell of home and comfort. 

"All right, you two, noses out of the chowder. That's for supper tonight." 

"Gram!" Annie ran into her grandmother's outstretched arms. Over Annie's head, Abbey watched Elizabeth approaching her. There was a smile on her lips but it did not extend to her eyes. There was a tension and a sadness in those eyes that Abbey had hoped to finally see extinguished. She let go of Annie to embrace her eldest daughter, wishing with all her might that she could erase the girl's unhappiness. 

"So, how was the drive over?" Abbey asked. 

"Fine," Annie answered quickly. 

"Quiet," was Elizabeth's response. 

Abbey raised a questioning brow at her daughter. She knew exactly what it was like to raise a teenage girl, knew very well the moods and the sulks. 

"We had a fight," Annie told her. "Mom told me I could get my belly button pierced but when I went to do it, there were photographers and she wouldn't let me. Piercing my belly button isn't bad – a lot of girls have it done. Who cares if the press knows?" 

"I care," Elizabeth said. "This is an election year and your grandfather is going to have enough problems without the press going on and on about his granddaughter's body piercing." 

"But you SAID you were cool with it. You even said you might have it done too. Then – BAM – you just change your mind." 

"Annie, let's not get into this again." Elizabeth sank wearily onto the kitchen chair and began to scratch Max behind the ear. 

"Let me get this straight." Abbey sat at the table with her daughter. "Liz, Annie had your permission to her belly button pierced." 

"Yes, but…" 

"Wait, hear me out. The only reason you changed your mind is because of the press?" 

"Well, yes." 

"I can fix that. I'll call Delia at that new age store 'So Mote it be'. I buy a lot of aromatherapy stuff from her and I know they do piercings there. I'll have her recommend someone and send them over here. You can both have it done right here at the house, no press allowed. What do you think?" 

"I think you're the BEST!" Annie threw her arms around Abbey's neck from behind. "You should get it done too, Gram. The three of us can get it done together." 

"Oh…I don't know about that," Abbey stuttered. 

"Come on, Mom. You're not scared, are you?" Elizabeth teased. 

"No, I'm not scared, Elizabeth. I've had five children. I'm not sure I'm exactly belly button piercing material." 

Elizabeth burst into laughter. "That's a cop out if I've ever HEARD one. I've seen you in a bikini, Mom. You don't have an extra ounce of fat and you know it. That's why you work out and do fifty crunches every night. You're proud of your body and you have every right to be." 

Abbey flushed at her daughter's assessment. Elizabeth was right; she did work at keeping her body lithe and trim. She often said it was for good health, but that vain little part of her did take pride in the fact that other than the normal changes a body took after carrying a baby – breast feeding and aging – her body was not all that much different than it had been when she was in college. She was still a size six and proud of it. 

"You should do it, Gram," Annie enthused. "It'll be fun. We can make it a girl's day. Mom can stay for one day, can't you?" 

"I can stay until tomorrow," Elizabeth nodded. 

"Bonding over body piercing," Abbey sighed. "The times they are a changin'." 

**** 

Annie awoke slowly to the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of Abbey singing to the twins while she cooked breakfast. She grinned and slipped right out of bed to make her way down to the kitchen. Back home on a day when she didn't have school, she was rarely up before 10:00 a.m., but at Windy Point there was always something to do and she didn't want to miss any of it. Today, she and her grandmother were going to take the _Zellie_ out for a sail, and, best of all, her grandfather was supposed to arrive in time for dinner. Abbey had already gotten the lobsters from Eli Donovan to make him one of his favorite coastal meals and they were both anticipating his arrival. 

"Good morning, little munchkins." Annie kissed each baby on the top of the head. 

"Good morning, big munchkin." Abbey kissed Annie on top of her head. "What would you like for breakfast?" 

"I'll just have some cereal." Annie grabbed a box of her grandfather's Lucky Charms from the cupboard and began to pour the cereal into her bowl. 

Abbey smiled over the rim of her coffee mug as she watched Annie scatter the little marshmallows on the trays of the twins' high chairs. "You're as bad as your grandfather," she admonished her. 

Annie flashed her a big grin. "Hey, they like them." 

"Of course they do." Abbey watched both kids bypass the Cheerios she had placed on the trays in favor of the little colored marshmallows. "They're pure sugar." 

"That's okay. I'll chase them around if they get all wound up." Annie winced as the button of her pajama top caught on the ring in her navel. 

"Still tender?" Abbey asked, handing her a glass of orange juice. 

"A little," Annie admitted. "How about you?" 

Abbey lifted her shirt and gazed at the tiny gold ring in her belly button. "It's still a little tender, but not too bad." 

"Gramps is gonna go nuts when he comes home tonight and sees that." 

"You aren't kidding," Abbey grinned ruefully. "I'm just not sure if it will be a good nuts or a bad nuts." 

"Oh, it will be good for sure. Parker says that guys think belly button rings are very sexy." 

"And who, pray tell, is Parker?" 

Annie flushed slightly. "He's kind of my new boyfriend." 

"Kind of?" Abbey raised an eyebrow. 

"Well, Mom won't let me go on a date or anything, but Missy Stevens heard from his sister Caitlin that he likes me." 

"I see," Abbey smiled, remembering the convoluted way that teens had of finding out who liked whom. She had done a bit of that herself in her day. "And do you like him?" 

"Of course I like him." Abbey was just glad from the retort that she got that Annie didn't add a 'DUH' at the end. "He's the cutest guy in eighth grade." 

"There's more to a boy than…" 

"Being cute," Annie finished the sentence for her with a flash of her dimples. She'd heard that phrase more than once from both her mother and grandmother. "I know that. But, Parker is also on honor roll and he's a nice guy. Caitlin is going to set up a movie date for a bunch of us, including Parker, when I get home. Mom will let me do that." 

"I think your mother is right, Annie. You're only thirteen years old." 

"I'll be fourteen in a couple of months." 

"I'm well aware of when you were born, sweetheart. I was there, remember?" 

"Well, I don't actually remember. I was a little young at the time." 

"Smart aleck," Abbey affectionately tugged a strand of her hair. "Well, we better get moving if we want to go for that sail before your granddad shows up." 

"And we can talk about the karaoke party for your anniversary. I've come up with some really good songs to sing. There is a Shania Twain song from her new CD that I think will be perfect for you." 

"I don't know, Annie. I think your grandfather would prefer I sing him some old torch song." 

"Just listen to the lyrics and if you don't thing it's perfect, you don't have to sing it. I'll bring my CD player on the boat and you can listen." 

"Okay, I'll listen." 

**** 

Talking and laughing as they made their way up the porch stairs, Annie and Abbey had returned from their sail sun-kissed and windblown. Izzy met them in the kitchen as they entered the cottage. 

"Ma'am, the President called about a half hour ago. He'd like you to call him back." 

Both Annie and Izzy watched the smile leave Abbey's face. They all knew what that call meant. Jed would not be coming to Windy Point tonight. 

"Thank you, Izzy." Abbey could not hide the disappointment in her voice. Izzy sensed that the First Lady would want some privacy for her phone call and turned to Annie. 

"Nicholas and Aislinn have been playing in the sand all afternoon. How would you like to come and help me bathe them?" 

"I'd love to." Annie could never get enough of playing with and taking care of the babies. 

With Annie gone, Abbey immediately placed the call. 

"Hey, baby," Jed answered. "Did you and Annie have fun on your sail?" 

"Yeah, she's turning out to be a pretty good first mate. Jed, why aren't you on Air Force One right now?" 

"I'm sorry, Abs, but we're having some problems with the platforms for the convention and I need to meet with Senators Holtz and Brown tomorrow and get everything cleared up before I leave for vacation." 

"Couldn't you meet with them today and fly out tonight? Our vacation is so short this year." Normally, the President took a month off in the summer while Congress was not in session; but in an election year, and with the upcoming convention, they would barely be able to get a couple of weeks in. 

"I know. Look, I miss you guys, too. I'd much rather be up there with all of you at the beach than stuck here in this heat and humidity." 

"I had Eli bring some lobsters over for your dinner tonight." Abbey knew she sounded pouty and she hated that, but she had been so looking forward to Jed's arrival tonight. 

"Now, telling me that is really hitting me below the belt." He gave a soft chuckle. 

"No, that won't be hitting you below the belt, but this will. I went into town the other day and did some shopping at that new age store 'So Mote it Be'. Do you remember that one?" 

"The one that's run by a witch?" 

"Delia is a Wiccan, Jed, but that's beside the point. She showed me this new aphrodisiac massage oil that's scented with jasmine and sandalwood. It is supposed to enhance sensual passion. I bought a bottle." 

"I don't think I've ever had a problem needing to be enhanced in that area before." 

"Let me finish. It's not just an aphrodisiac. It has heating properties in it." 

"Heating," Jed swallowed, his mouth going dry. 

"Uh huh. It heats up when you rub it into your body or with any kind of…friction." The last word was said on a husky purr. Jed was silent for a few moments and when he did speak his voice was unnaturally raspy. 

"Now you really aren't playing fair. That was totally hitting below the belt." 

"No, I just want to play below your belt." Her voice was throaty and sexy, a tone that never failed to turn him on. He felt his body begin to respond to her words and her tone just as his senior staffers entered for a meeting. He turned away from them and spoke in a low voice to her. 

"I really have to go right now, Abbey, but please keep that thought in mind." 

"No, you keep that thought in mind," she smiled into the receiver. "No more meetings, Jed." She hung up the phone knowing that her husband would begin working on a way to get out of D.C. fast. He was nothing if not predictable. 

**** 

The next morning Abbey was up with the sun. She snuggled up closer to the warm body beside her and reached out a sleepy hand to rub over Jed's chest. Instead of Jed, however, her hand found the thick fur of the German shepherd that was stretched out beside her sleeping. Max wiggled closer and licked her cheek. 

"Sorry, but your breath stinks, Max." Abbey wrinkled her nose as she pushed the big dog away. Sleeping with Max was definitely not like sleeping with Jed. She was still irritated that the campaign was already taking away some of the precious time she was supposed to have with her husband. The kids were missing him and kept asking for their daddy, but how was she supposed to explain a couple more days to 18-month-old children? All they understood was that they wanted their father and he was not there. 

She decided to take Max and go for a run to blow off some steam. Normally, running was not her favorite form of exercise. But, since she didn't have the White House gym or indoor pool at her disposal, running would have to do. She threw on a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a crimson sweatshirt with "Harvard" emblazoned across the chest. She twisted her hair up into a ponytail and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator before stepping out on to the porch. With Max trailing behind her, she made her way over to the gazebo where three agents – hers and the twins – were seated watching the house. 

"Hey, Andy, up for a run this morning?" she asked. 

"Whatever you want to do, Ma'am." 

"No kids this morning?" That question was from Cal, the head of the twins' detail. 

"Not yet. I'll take them out later for a walk." Abbey began leaning from side to side to stretch her legs. 

Cal nodded and settled back in with the other agent, while Andy prepared for a jog. 

Once they were both sufficiently warmed up, Abbey made her way down to the beach. She could hear the surf pounding the sand but could barely see the spray thanks to the early morning fog. She continued walking toward the water enjoying the stillness of a foggy morning – the only sound that of the surf and the mournful bellow of the foghorn and bell buoy. Some might have found the morning eerie but not Abbey; she loved the fog, loved the way it enveloped her in its damp, cool cocoon. Once on the hard packed surface, she began to run out towards the lighthouse. She knew it was four miles round trip as it was usually the walk she took with the twins. She usually did five miles on the treadmill at the gym, but that was a different type of running. 

As the motorcade made its way around the lighthouse, Jed was staring out the window at the sea. That was when he saw his wife running along the edge of the water – her sweatshirt tied around her waist, her agent trailing a discreet distance behind her, and their dog at her side. He smiled as he watched her ponytail bob up and down. God, was it good to finally be here. 

By the time Abbey returned to the cottage, the fog had burned off and the sun was quickly warming the morning. She was sweaty and out of breath and couldn't wait to hop into the shower. She turned the radio on in the bedroom and made her way to the bathroom. 

Jed opened the door to the bedroom and stood for a long moment enjoying the sight of his wife in the bathroom with the door ajar. She stood at the mirror brushing her teeth wearing nothing but a tank top and bikini panties. He couldn't think of a better way to be greeted home. He started over to the bathroom and stood in the doorway. 

"Abbey," he said softly. Abbey gave a small start and dropped her toothbrush. 

"Jed, you're home." 

"Yes, you little temptress." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. "I'm home. It's time to let the fun begin." 


	2. Summer Storms

"What happened to your meeting today?" Abbey asked, as she lifted Jed's hands from where they had cupped over her rear. 

"The exact thing that you knew was going to happen when you mentioned that massage oil." He began to nuzzle her neck. Abbey pushed at his chest trying to break contact with his lips. 

"I merely mentioned a purchase that I made." 

"Merely mentioned it, did you?" His hands began to make their way up under her tank top. "And did you just happen to mention in passing that you wanted to play with me below the belt." 

"Well," she grinned. "That might have slipped in there. But, I just meant to keep you from setting up any more meetings. I didn't expect you to come rushing home this morning. God, Jed, you'd think I never give you any." 

"I can never get enough of you, baby." He wiggled his eyebrows at her in a way that made Abbey smile. "Sometimes I think you do descend from those Salem witches and you cast a spell on me that makes me want you…and want you…and want you." The words were spoken as he nibbled along her jaw and ended with a little nip to her earlobe. 

"Jed, you know they weren't really…witches," Abbey groaned out the last word as Jed's hands found their way up under her tank top to cup over her bare breasts. 

"Well, you did something to put me under your spell, woman." He flicked a thumb over her nipple and felt her fingernails dig into his arms in response. "But, speaking of witches, where is that massage oil?" 

"Jed, we can't." Slowly, the reason came back to Abbey and she began to push his hands off her breasts. 

"Of course we can." 

"Did you bring Zoey home with you?" 

"Yes." 

"So right now we have a house full of kids who are expecting us to be down any second for breakfast. For a brilliant man, you really do let a certain part of your anatomy rule your better judgment." She began to walk away and Jed couldn't help the sigh of disappointment as he watched the sway of her hips and rear in those skimpy little panties. God, she has a great ass, he thought, and not for the first time. It took a supreme amount of willpower not to pounce on her and take her from behind, but she was right as usual. They did have a bunch of kids waiting downstairs for them. 

"It's the spell, you tempting little witch, the spell." He gave her a sharp little spank to the butt as he passed her. Abbey moved to retaliate but both heard the crying child outside the bedroom door just before the door opened. 

Annie stood there with Nicholas in her arms. She was obviously taken aback at finding Abbey in her underwear just about to smack Jed on the rear. The girl blushed a deep red, knowing she was supposed to knock first, but she'd had no idea that Abbey wasn't alone. When it was a house full of women, they took it for granted that they could come and go at will, and Nicky's pain had created a sense of urgency. 

"MAMA!" the baby's plaintive cry and outstretched arms ended the awkward moment. Abbey took him from Annie. 

"What happened?" she asked. 

"He stubbed his toe on the step from the porch to the kitchen and it's bleeding." Abbey couldn't hold the boy and check his foot at the same time so she past the screaming baby into Jed's arms and grabbed his little foot. Sure enough his big toe was slightly swollen and the nail rimmed with blood. Abbey manipulated the toe, her expert fingers feeling for definitive broken bones. 

"Sshh…it's okay, sport. Daddy's got you," Jed murmured into his son's sweaty brow. Nicholas tried to squirm and kick at his mother while he buried his face in his father's chest. 

"I don't think anything's broken," Abbey finally pronounced. "He just ripped his toenail a bit. Let's get him to the bathroom and clean it up." 

Nicholas screamed the whole time Jed ran his toe under cold water. Abbey glanced up at her husband's ashen face from time to time while she cleansed their son's cut with peroxide and put a Scooby-Doo Band-Aid on it. She wasn't sure who this was harder on – father or son. Jed had never dealt well with her or the kids being in pain. He could be as stoic as they came with his own pain, but watching his kids cry could truly do him in. Sometimes it still amazed her that he'd been able to push that weakness aside to be with her – coaching, supporting and comforting her – through all of her labors and the births of every one of their children, along with the two miscarriages. 

Nicky's cries did begin to soften as, first his mother and then his father kissed his tiny toe to make it feel better. 

"You're a very brave big boy, Nicky," Abbey told him. "Do you think a Popsicle might make you feel a little better?" 

Nicholas hiccupped and nodded his head affirmatively. "Possicle." 

"A Popsicle before breakfast?" Jed feigned astonishment. "You're getting to be a softie in your old age." 

"Watch who you're calling old, buster." 

**** 

Back downstairs, Jed put his priorities in order and moved out on to the now baby-gated porch to play with his two youngest children. They were such a handful at this age – demanding and fussy and egocentric at one moment, charming and affectionate the next. Watching them bumbling around on their still not so steady legs as they explored their surroundings, then simply falling to their well-padded rears when they'd had enough caused Jed's chest to swell with love and with pride. He grinned watching Nicholas single-mindedly pound his little wooden pegs into their proper holes, then glare at Aislinn when she grabbed one of the pegs. 

"Mine," he told her and yanked it roughly out of her hand. Aislinn's lip began to quiver but before she could retaliate by hitting her brother, Jed stepped in. 

"Nicholas, that wasn't very nice. You need to share your toys with your sister. Aislinn," he turned to his daughter, "why don't you bring Daddy your book and I'll read you a story." 

The incident forgotten, Aislinn moved to get the big picture book of farm animals she'd been playing with. 

By the time Abbey joined them, Jed was seated with both his daughter and son on the porch swing and the three of them were laughing as they quacked like ducks and oinked like pigs. Aislinn especially liked the way her father snorted like a pig and pretended to use his snout to tickle her neck. 

"Agin, Dadda," she giggle. "Agin, agin." 

"Sorry to disturb you guys," Abbey said, wondering if there was anything more sweet than watching your husband play with your children. "But lunch is just about ready. Then you two are going down for a nice long afternoon nap." 

"No nap." Nicholas informed her. 

Abbey raised an eyebrow at her son. The definitive way he had said that sounded so much like Jed it caused her to stop in her tracks. While all of her daughters had shared traits with Jed, it was simply uncanny to see the resemblance in his son. "Oh, yes, you will be taking a nap, little mister." Abbey's tone was just as definitive. 

"No nap." Nicholas turned his eyes to Jed. 

"Don't look at me, sport. Your mom's the boss on naps. Besides," he whispered into Abbey's ear, "while they nap and Annie and Zoey play tennis, Mama and Dadda can go on a nice private sail." 

So he hadn't forgotten about that massage oil after all, Abbey mused. 

**** 

There was great anticipation on the Coast Guard cutter and the quick little cigarette boats that were filled with Secret Service agents over the fact that the President and the First Lady were having a private sail out to Osprey Head on the _Abigail Anne_. Those who had been on the detail last summer and had witnessed just what might happen on a private sail with the President and his wife were busy filling in the agents who had not been on the detail with all the lascivious tales. Most, of course, had heard the erotic rumors that had spread like a wildfire, but hearing about it from the horse's mouth, so to speak, made it more real, more possible that they, too, might get a viewing of some type of sexual escapade. Or, if nothing else, seeing the First Lady in her bathing suit would at least be something. They knew they were the lucky ones to even be out following the sailboat, as there were several grumbling agents who were stuck back on house detail who were bemoaning the fact that they were missing out on the all the fun. 

**** 

Jed stood at the helm of the _Abigail Anne_ concentrating on maneuvering the boat through the marina. His eyes often fell to Abbey's agile form as she climbed riggings and prepared the sails for when they entered open water. She wore a pair of old cutoffs and a faded Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirt over her bathing suit. He knew with increasing awareness that she was wearing the black bikini that had won his male staff members' vote as his wife's favorite bathing suit. Not that anyone had dared say that to him directly but he had heard it through the grapevine. Seeing the black top through the faded white of her T-shirt only reminded him of how much it was his favorite as well. His eyes were still on Abbey as she reached high above her head to tug at a sail, her shirt riding well up over her midriff. His brow furrowed with puzzlement as he caught a quick flash of gold. He shook his head slightly figuring it had to be some weird reflection of the sun. But, when Abbey turned and pulled at one of the riggings he saw it again. This time he knew what it was and it caused a stab of desire to go straight to his groin. 

Abbey nearly jumped out of her skin when Jed grabbed her from behind. 

"Jed, what…?" she gasped, as he pulled her T-shirt up and gaped at the tiny gold loop in her belly button. 

"When…when did you…" He reached a tentative finger out to touch the loop. 

"A couple of days ago. Do you hate it?" 

"Hate it? Do you have any idea of sexy it is?" 

"Then I guess Annie was right. Guys do find them sexy." 

"Do you know how turned on I am right now?" 

"It doesn't take much, does it?" She flashed him a saucy grin. 

"You didn't have anything else pierced, did you?" His fingers moved up to run over the tips of her breasts. 

"No, I didn't have my nipples pierced," Abbey laughed. "I certainly wouldn't go that far. Besides, you checked that out this morning, remember?" 

"Oh yeah. I do remember where I was this morning, only now there are no kids around to interrupt us." Before his lips could touch hers, Abbey pushed back gently. 

"There may not be any kids, but we're in the middle of the marina and if you don't get back to the helm, we're going to take somebody's boat out. Try explaining that one to the press. No, I wasn't drinking when I hit the boat, Dan, Peter, Tom. I was trying to check and see if my wife had her nipples pierced. Talk about giving Bruno a heart attack." 

"You'd be the talk of the Republican Convention," he grinned, as he made his way back to the wheel. 

"Somehow I think I'll come up enough as it is. Now behave and get us out into open water so I can lift the sails. 

Jed did as told, but it wasn't easy as they moved from the sheltered harbor into the open water of the North Atlantic and he watched Abbey fling her T-shirt off to reveal the black crocheted string bikini top that barely held the swells of her breasts. With every glance he made at that tantalizing little gold loop on her flat belly, it got increasingly hard for him to concentrate on getting them to the cove at Osprey Head. 

Abbey moved with the knowledge that her husband's lusting eyes were on her and she couldn't resist gazing over at him from time to time. She loved watching him at the helm of their boat, the wind blowing his thick fair hair and a relaxed smile of joy on his face as the burden of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders was lifted, at least for a little while. She made her way back to him and sat leaning back against his legs. 

Jed kept one hand on the wheel and dropped the other down to where Abbey's cheek lay against his knee. He began to run his fingers through her silky dark auburn hair trying to keep his mind from wandering off into thinking about the other parts of her body that he would love to be stroking. 

Abbey began running her fingertips lightly over the crisp tawny hair on Jed's leg, enjoying the play of his calf muscle flexing under her soft touch. That sensuous touch was Jed's complete undoing; and, in the next moment, he got to his feet and headed toward the back of the boat. 

"Where are you going?" Abbey asked. 

"I'm anchoring." 

"But we're not even halfway to Osprey Head," she said, perplexed by his behavior. 

"And it's as close as we're gonna get. Grab that massage oil and let's go below deck." 

"Jed…" 

"Or we could do it right here ON the deck if you want to." He knew that would spur her on. Abbey was still incredibly sensitive over being caught giving him a night under the moonlight that he would never forget. 

"Okay, okay, I'm going." 

**** 

"What are they doing?" one of the agents asked Ron. "I thought they weren't anchoring until Osprey Head." 

"Looks like they anchored early," Ron said nonchalantly. 

"Looks like things got heated up a little early," said the agent with the binoculars who had been watching the teasing interplay between the couple for the past few minutes. "By the way, none of you told me the First Lady has her belly button pierced." 

"It wasn't pierced when we saw her last summer," said another agent. 

"Well it's definitely pierced now." The man looked back through his binoculars only to have them yanked out of his hands by another agent. 

"Let me see." 

"You can't. They've gone below deck." 

"Damn." 

Neither Jed nor Abbey would ever know about the collective sighs and groans of disappointment that came forth from all the boats on their protection detail as the two of them disappeared from the deck of the _Abigail Anne_ to go down to their small cabin below deck. 

**** 

Abbey was as eager for Jed as he was for her; so when he fell to his knees before her and began running his lips over her belly, she merely sighed and weaved her fingers through his hair. She felt his tongue slide around the gold loop in her belly button, teasing her, and making her ache for him to tease other parts of her body with that tongue. 

"I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw this ring in the marina," he said, as he slid his tongue inside the loop and flicked it back and forth. 

Abbey winced and groaned, her fingers tightening in his hair. 

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Is it still sore?" 

"A little," she admitted. 

Jed gave her belly button one more soft, healing kiss then began to move his ministrations upwards. Before he could work at getting her bikini top off, Abbey stopped him and made a grab for the oil. 

"Remember, I'm the one who wanted to play with you." She wiggled the bottle suggestively. 

Jed swallowed tightly and nodded. "You can play with whatever part of me you want, sweetheart." 

"I had a feeling you'd say that. Now take off your shirt and lay down on the bed." 

"I LOVE it when you get all pirate on me." He pulled his shirt off with obvious relish and tossed it into the corner of the room then threw himself back on the bed, his arms opened wide. "Ravish me, lusty wench. I'm all yours." 

Abbey bit her lip against the laughter that threatened to erupt and shook her head. The man could be absolutely adorable at times. "For the eight hundredth time, my ancestor was a privateer NOT a pirate." 

"Same difference." 

"No, it's not, Josiah. That's like me saying the original Josiah Bartlett who signed the Declaration of Independence was a traitor." 

"Okay, okay, truce. Let's not get into an ancestor war. He was a privateer not a pirate. Does that make you feel better?" 

"Why, yes it does, actually." 

"Good, I'm ready to play, then." He gave her a hopeful, boyish grin that was completely irresistible. 

Abbey sank down on one knee on the bed beside him. "Are you going to flip over so I can do your back?" 

"Nope. I want you to do my front." 

"Right down to business today, eh?" She poured the massage oil into her hands to warm it before spreading on his chest. 

"I guess I am feeling a little impatient today." Jed gave a sharp intake of breath as Abbey pressed her oiled palms into his chest, kneading and caressing his pectoral muscles and running tickling fingertips over his ribcage, causing goose bumps to rise on his flesh. "Oh God, that feels good, Abbey." 

"You like it, huh?" 

"Mmmm…." The more that Abbey rubbed his chest the more he felt the heating and tingling spread through him from the oil. Abbey's hands moved lower running in circular patterns over his stomach. Every so often with the back of her hand she purposefully brushed his erection, which was straining up toward the area that she was caressing. When she felt his hips begin to lift off the mattress with his need, she leaned over him to run her oiled hands from his shoulders all the way down each arm until her breasts were flattened against his chest and her lips were pressed into his. The deep, tongue-tangling kiss turned the spark of desire in Abbey into a burning flame and served to make her want to pick up the pace. She poured a bit more of the oil into her palm and at the same moment she took Jed's flat nipple into her mouth she closed her hand over his penis and began to slide it up and down. The deep agonizing groan of pleasure that issued forth from him told Abbey exactly how good it felt, exactly what she was doing to him. It wasn't long before she took that heat into her, the friction building between the two into a fire that consumed them both – a fire they both cried for the other put out, while their bodies ached for it to never end. 

**** 

Later, Abbey lay sleepy and naked in Jed's arms under one thin sheet. After the fiery combustion just a little while ago, there was now only peace and contentment and the soothing rocking of the boat on the waves. Abbey's head lay on Jed's chest and she could hear that his heartbeat was still pounding rather rapidly, his breathing still not quite back to normal. Her own body was still pulsing with little aftershocks. She loved that they could still do this to each other. 

"So, how long do we have until the hoards descend?" She yawned and kissed the scar under his right nipple where a bullet had pierced his skin and almost killed him. 

"The hoards?" he asked, his hand continuing to gently rub up and down her shoulder. "Oh, you mean the staff?" 

"Among others." 

"Well, of course, CJ is already here at the guest house, but I'm not sure when the others will be arriving." 

"Is Leo coming?" 

"He's coming for the Fourth and the anniversary party. I told him to bring a date." 

Abbey got up on one elbow and looked down into Jed's face. "Is he going to?" 

"I don't know. I told him to call Jordan." 

"Do you think he will?" 

"Who knows? You know, Leo. He hates to discuss anything personal. I hope that he does. It would be good for him. He really does need to move on." 

**** 

"Okay, Leo, so why have I been summoned to the White House?" Jordan asked. She hadn't seen Leo since that disastrous New Year's Eve when he had been in the process of starting to make love to her and had called her Abbey. She had been stunned to learn that the Abbey he was wanting so badly had turned out to be his best friend's Abbey. 

"Because I wanted to talk to you about this in person. Not on the phone." 

"Is this personal or professional? Because if it's personal I told you not to call me until you had resolved all your feelings for Abbey Bartlet. Have you?" 

"I wish I could say yes, but I am just as messed up as ever." 

"Then I don't think we have anything to talk about." Jordan got to her feet to leave but Leo grabbed her by the elbow. 

"Please, Jordan, wait. I need your help." 

"My help?" 

"Yes. I won't go into all the details but suffice it to say that the President and First Lady found out about my feelings for her. It has been an incredibly rocky few months. I nearly lost my job and my best friend. I'm trying really hard to work my way through this. I've promised them both that I will give it my best try." 

"So where do I fit in?" 

"I am still a part of their lives and I do okay here at the White House, but I'm afraid when I get back on personal ground it will all be there again to swamp me. Now that they're aware of it, I'm afraid that this time both Abbey and Jed will see it. I have to go up to their summer place in Maine for a Fourth of July barbecue and their anniversary party. I'd like you to go with me." 

Jordan stared into his eyes wishing that she saw more than convenience in them. "You want me to be a buffer – to try and shield you from your feelings for Abbey." 

"No, I really…Yes…" Leo hung his head with shame. "I guess that is exactly what I want. That probably seems really selfish of me…" 

"Maybe, but I understand self-preservation. I'll go with you, Leo, but only as your friend. I can't let it go any further until I know you are over this little thing you have for Abbey. I can't open myself up to that. I can come in second to your job but I can't be second best to another woman." 

Leo wanted to tell her that it wouldn't be that way but he knew he'd be lying. "I understand," he told her. "Nobody should be second best." His thoughts centered for a moment on Jenny, on how he felt about being second best to Jed. 

"I appreciate your honesty." She smiled for the first time since entering his office. 

"And I would like to be your friend. I really hope that I can help you." 

Me too, Leo thought. He knew that this visit to Maine was going to be a very difficult one for him. It would be a supreme test of his willpower to try and not feel the pain while watching Jed and Abbey and their family, and an even bigger test to see if he could keep that pain and longing from being evident to the both of them. He hoped to God that he was up to the task. 


	3. Summer Storms

Abbey and Jed returned to the cottage from their private afternoon sail relaxed and satiated and walking hand and hand up the long path to the house. Unfortunately, that feeling of tranquility did not last through the first step up to the porch. From inside the house, they could hear a screaming baby and the raised voices of arguing girls. Ellie had evidently arrived while they were gone, as they could hear her voice among the others. 

"Wanna sneak off and spend the night on the boat?" Jed asked hopefully. 

"Don't tempt me," Abbey sighed. She squeezed his hand and gave him a rueful smile, remembering the peace and quiet of lying in his arms on the rocking boat. But, couple time was definitely over and it was time to be parents again, or referees as the case may be. 

"What's going on in here?" Jed boomed, as they opened the door to the kitchen. 

There was dead silence for a moment and then the girls all began speaking at once. 

"Wait, wait, wait," Abbey put her hand up. "We can't hear you all at once. First of all, why is Aislinn screaming?" She took the crying child from Ellie's arms. 

"She's just being fussy," Ellie said. "She keeps trying to drag Max around by the tail and when we told her 'no' she pitched a fit." 

It turned out that the argument was over what to have for dinner and none of the three girls had been able to agree on what to cook. 

"Look, we're all hungry and tired," Jed said. "Why don't we just order a pizza? Do you know how long it's been since I've had take-out pizza?" 

The girls all looked at Abbey who was bouncing Aislinn on her hip and pouring juice into a bottle for her. "It's fine with me," she said. "I want veggie though and make sure they put mushrooms on it." 

Everyone began calling out their orders to Jed and they finally agreed on a large veggie, a large pepperoni, and an order of Buffalo wings. 

"I'm going to take Aislinn for a drive with the Service to pick up the food," Abbey said. "Maybe that will calm her down. You guys make a salad while I'm gone." 

As Abbey stood buckling Aislinn into her car seat, the two agents who were in charge of getting the pizza – her own agent and Aislinn's agent – surrounded her. She couldn't help but bite back her laughter at the absurdity of such a crew needed to simply go to the village and pick up a pizza. Taking a drive to calm her fussing children had certainly been much easier when the girls were younger and her husband had not been the President of the United States. 

**** 

"Now this is what I call a meal." Jed surveyed the pizza, wings, and the bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of him. 

"You have been fed by the top chefs in the world," Abbey said. "And yet THIS is what you consider a great meal?" 

"When you haven't gotten to have it in a while it is." 

"I'm with Dad," Zoey said, grabbing another slice. "I'll take pizza over pâté any day." 

"That's my girl." Jed winked at her. 

Abbey did a quick survey of the room. They were all eating in the living room in front of the TV, another thing they rarely did, but watching _The Little Mermaid_ was keeping the twins amused. At that moment both toddlers were sitting on the floor at Jed's feet leaning sleepily against each other, their faces smeared with pizza sauce. Abbey knew she better hurry and finish her pizza or they were both going to fall asleep before she could hop them into the tub. She took one last swallow from her beer and got to her feet. 

"Bath time," she pronounced. She didn't get any arguments, as both kids loved their bath; however, neither wanted to put the effort into walking up the stairs. 

"Eh, eh, eh," both whined and lifted their arms up for Abbey to carry them. 

"You guys are getting too big for me to carry both of you," Abbey told them. 

"Eh, eh, eh…" was the unsympathetic response that she got from them. 

"I'll help you." Jed tossed his pizza crust to the dog and got to his feet, ignoring the glare Abbey gave him at feeding Max that way. 

They each picked up a child and began making their way upstairs. Abbey paused halfway up the stairs to look down into the living room where Annie, Zoey, and Ellie were all sprawled over the furniture eating pizza and engrossed in the Disney movie. 

"Still want to go back on the boat?" she asked Jed. 

His eyes followed hers and she saw a tender smile touch his lips, "Naw." 

**** 

"Gram, me and Gramps are going to take the _Zellie_ over to the flats to do some clam digging. Would you mind French braiding my hair so the wind doesn't mess it all up?" Annie asked. 

Abbey took in the mess of toys all over the porch, but if it was one thing she'd learned over the years, it was that messes could be picked up anytime, a teenage girl wanting you to do something for her was a rare occurrence, and not one to be put off. "Of course, just bring me a hairbrush and some hair ties." 

Annie took the stairs two at a time, but rather than going to her room she made a beeline to her grandparents' room. There on Abbey's vanity lay the antique sterling silver brush set. She smiled as she picked up the old fashioned brush, eyeing the initials AAB. Annie knew the story behind the brush well. She knew it had been given to Abbey by her grandfather's grandmother, Eleanor, as a welcome to the family gift, and that it had been the first thing that she'd ever had monogrammed with her new last name of Bartlet. It was so pretty and so feminine and ever since Annie had been a little girl, her grandmother had brushed her hair with that brush. In a world that was ever changing and that moved with a pace that was at times bewildering, it was nice to have a few constants, a few traditions. 

Abbey smiled when Annie returned with the old fashioned brush. She knew how much the young girl had always loved that brush. It wouldn't be long until Annie reached sweet sixteen and she would put the order in to "Tiffany's" for a replica set with Annie's initials engraved in it, just as she had with all of her daughters on their sixteenth. 

Annie sat on the floor in front of Abbey's chair and Abbey began to brush and divide the strands of hair to start braiding. Annie was unnaturally quiet for a few moments but finally she worked up her nerve to speak. 

"Gram, can I ask you a question? A personal question?" 

"Uh-oh, I'm in for it now," Abbey groaned. 

"Graaaaam…." 

"Okay, okay. You know you can ask me anything, Annie." 

"How old were you when you had sex for the first time?" 

Abbey's breath caught in her throat with the surprise of that question. "Thirty-five." 

"You were NOT!" Annie giggled. "You were twenty-two when my Mom was born so I know you had sex before then." 

"Got it all figured out, do you?" 

"Not all of it. Come on, be straight with me. How old were you?" 

Abbey had always opted for honesty when this question came up. "I was twenty, almost twenty-one." 

"You waited until you were twenty! But, you grew up in the sixties with all that free love." 

"There was no free love in the O'Neill house," Abbey smiled. "You have to remember, Annie, that I was pretty sheltered. I went to Catholic girls schools all my life. Heck, I never even went to school with boys until college. Not that I didn't date or anything but it was just different." 

"So, Gramps wasn't your first boyfriend?" 

"No, he wasn't my first boyfriend." Abbey smiled. 

Annie had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought about her grandmother dating a man who was not her grandfather. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know the answer to her next question, but she'd come this far. 

"That first time – when you were twenty – was it with Gramps?" 

"Yes," Abbey smiled stroking Annie's hair. "Your grandfather was my first." 

"Were you married?" 

Abbey took a deep breath, "No." 

Annie nodded her head knowingly. 

"Don't give me that look," Abbey told her. 

"What look? I'm not giving you a look." 

"Oh yes you are. It's the 'I knew it was okay to have sex before marriage look'. I've seen it before on all of your aunts. Your grandfather and I were in a very committed relationship, Annie. We'd been dating for almost a year and we were engaged. It was something that we both knew that we were ready for. Sharing that kind of intimacy with someone is a special gift, sweetheart. Don't just give it to anyone. When you're ready, and we're talking years and years and years from now…" That drew a giggle from Annie. "Just remember that it will only be right when you're ready to share more than just your body, when you're ready to share your heart and your soul and that special part of you that makes you Annie Westin." 

Annie turned to look up at Abbey, her face starting to flush. "Does it hurt?" 

"The first time?" 

"Yeah. Missy Stevens said her older sister Lisa said it hurts really bad." 

"It's different for every woman, I guess. In my experience, it was a little painful and uncomfortable at first, but it gets better." 

"And you weren't embarrassed?" she bit her bottom lip, "You know, getting all naked and stuff." 

"That's why you wait, honey. When it's with the right person, it's not embarrassing." 

Abbey's eyes narrowed suspiciously and she lifted Annie's chin to look into her eyes. 

"First all this stuff about Parker and now all these questions about sex. You're not thinking about…Annie, you're thirteen years old." 

"I'm just about fourteen." 

"That doesn't make it any better. Fourteen is MUCH too young to even be thinking about having sex. You're just not ready emotionally or…." 

"Gram," Annie interrupted her with a big grin. "Don't go freaking out on me. I'm not planning on having sex yet. Yeah, some of the girls in my class are starting to talk about wanting to do it, but I'm not even allowed to date yet." 

"Promise me you'll think about what I said earlier. I've never regretted waiting to be in a loving relationship before taking that next step. And, Annie, please, if you do decide to have sex at some point, talk to your mother, or if you can't talk to her, talk to me. There are things you need to know." 

"Like how not to get pregnant or get AIDS." 

"Yeah, things like that," Abbey sighed. How sad it was that 13-year old girls now had to be up on such things; they just seemed to get younger and younger. 

"What are you two talking about?" Jed asked, as he entered the room. 

"Sex," Annie told him and laughed as she saw his face redden. "Hey, you asked." 

"You're much too young to be thinking about things like that," he muttered. "Don't try to grow up so fast." 

"See, Gram, if it were up to him I'd never know anything about sex. So like it or not, it's definitely up to you to inform me." Annie tip toed up and kissed his cheek. "I'm just going up to get my sunscreen," she bounded off for the stairs. "I'll be right back." 

Jed slipped an arm around Abbey's waist and watched Annie run up the stairs, a perplexed sort of lost look on his face. Abbey rubbed his hip tenderly. She had seen that look on her husband's face three times before. It was the moment he was finally realizing that his innocent little girl was on her way to becoming a woman. 

"So what exactly did she want to know about sex?" he asked. 

"Just the usual. She's spreading her wings a little but before she can do that she needs to test her parameters." 

"And just how does she do that?" 

"By questioning me about my early sex life. It's a way of testing boundaries." 

"And you, of course, told her you'd been happily married for years before you succumbed to temptation." 

"No, I did not," Abbey laughed. "As much as you'd like to, you can't keep her a child forever and I'd rather that she know the truth." 

"I know," he sighed. "It's just…she's only thirteen. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was having tea parties out on the porch with her?" 

"Poor Jed." Abbey ran a finger over his cheek. "This transition has never been easy for you, has it?" 

"No, it hasn't," he pouted. 

"Well, here comes someone who will be wanting to play tea party with you soon enough." 

Jed followed her gaze and a smile of pure adoration crossed his face as he watched Aislinn toddle down the hall, dragging a quacking little duck on wheels behind her, her blankie tucked up under her other arm. He swung the little girl up into his arms then tossed her into the air, causing her to squeal with delight. 

"Jed, be careful…" Abbey's words of caution fell on deaf ears. 

"Agin, Dadda, agin." 

Jed tossed her one more time, then pulled her in for a big bear hug. He looked at Abbey over their daughter's little blond head. "I guess since I have another one coming up behind I can live with the older ones growing up." 

"Well, then, you better hope that we have more grandkids because Aislinn and Nicholas are really it for you and me. Any more coming up from behind will have to via Liz, Ellie or Zoey." 

"Aw, come on, these two turned out pretty good. You sure you don't want to give it another try?" he teased. 

"You'd better be kidding, Josiah. I am a surgeon, after all. I could probably figure out how to do a vasectomy, if need be." 

Jed winced just thinking about it. "There's no need to bring that word into the conversation, dear. I'm quite happy with the number of children we have." 

"I thought you'd say that." 

"Okay, Gramps, ready to roll?" Annie stood before him with a stuffed bunny in her hand. 

"I've been ready. I'm not the one who had to have my hair braided and my lip gloss put on," Jed groused good-naturedly. "Are we bringing 'Shoo Shoo' with us?" 

"No. Max chewed Shoo Shoo's ear off. I found the ear under my bed. Do you think you could sew it back on while we're gone, Gram?" Annie gave Abbey an anxious look. The Easter Bunny had delivered Shoo Shoo in her Easter basket when Annie was only a year old and the two had been inseparable ever since. 

"I guess I could do that for you." 

"Thanks!" Annie handed her the stuffed animal and headed for the door. 

"I don't think you have to worry about her growing up too fast, just yet," Abbey whispered into Jed's ear. He smiled happily and nodded. 

**** 

"What did you do? Steal the blueprints for Windsor castle?" Abbey set her novel down on her lap and pushed her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose to gaze at the huge sandcastle Jed was building with Aislinn and Nicholas. Well, at least it had started out as the three of them. It hadn't taken long for the novelty to wear off for the kids and, at the moment, Aislinn was quite content to be pouring sand on her mother's feet, then giggling when Abbey's pink painted buried toes poked their way through the sand. Nicholas had a little more patience than his sister and was at least still attempting to help his father. Abbey flashed her son an amused smile as Nicholas dumped a bucket of sand far from where his father was urging him to put it. 

"Hey, you know what I always say, if you're gonna do something, do it with style." He turned from Abbey to his son, "Uh, Nicholas, we need to finish working on the tower over here." Nicholas ignored him and continued to pat his sand pile with his chubby little hands. 

"Okay," Jed scooted over, admitting defeat. "Change of plans here, looks like Nicky has a more modern approach he'd like to explore. You're going for a more ranch effect, is that it, son?" 

Nicholas grinned at him, picked up his half-filled bucket, and began to make his way to where Jed had wanted the sand to begin with. 

Abbey gave a soft laugh, not only at her son's intended destination, but also at how cute he was getting there. He was so new to walking that the soft sand caused him to lose his balance and fall every couple of feet or so. His "Swimper" was full from sitting in the warm tidal pools and the edge of the ocean, and it made him look like he was walking with a heavy load in his pants. After dumping the sand he turned to Jed for approval. 

"That child is perverse, Abbey." 

"He just likes to play with your mind." 

"Just like his mama." Jed squeezed one of Abbey's half-buried toes. He watched Nicholas toddle off away from the castle. "Hey squirt, I need your bucket," he called out. Nicholas ignored him and began to fill his bucket with sand. 

Aislinn was about to dump another bucket of sand on Abbey's toes, then turned to look at her father and instead made her way over to him. 

"Dada." She handed him her bucket with a sweet smile. 

"Well, thank you, Miss Aislinn." Jed accepted the bucket from her with much fanfare. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate this bucket of sand. Would you like to help me build this tower?" 

Aislinn nodded and began patting at the tower her father was building. Before long Jed felt a tap on his bare shoulder. Obviously, Nicholas did not want to be outdone by his sister and was offering his own assistance to the project. 

"Now, kids, come here." Jed pulled them both in for a conspiratorial conference that he made sure Abbey could hear. "Do you think we could sweet talk your mama into going down and getting us some water for the moat? We have to have water for the moat. Say it with me…Please, Mama." 

Abbey glanced over her book to see four round eyes looking her way. 

"Peeze, Mama." Aislinn lifted her bucket toward her mother. 

"Yes, please, Mama," Jed added his own pleading eyes to his children's. 

"Are you guys ganging up on me?" Abbey asked her daughter. Aislinn nodded solemnly and Abbey laughed. "Well, since you asked so nicely, I guess I better go." 

She took the bucket from Aislinn and got to her feet. Nicholas scrambled to her side with his own bucket. 

"I go, Ma." 

"Thank you, Nicholas, I could use some help. You guys built a really big castle." Abbey took his hand and the two of them made their way down toward the water's edge. 

"Abbey!" Jed called out to her. "You have another little follower." 

Abbey turned to see Aislinn in her little ladybug bathing suit, her pail banging against her leg, trying to catch up. She held her hand out to her, and the three of them made their way to the sea. 

From where he was seated, putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece, Jed heard shrieking and laughter. He looked down toward the water and saw mother and children playing in the waves. He grinned broadly as he watched Nicholas walk out toward a small wave, only to turn with a squeal and run the other way as the wave chased him back to the beach. Abbey, in a sleek blue one-piece, stood behind Aislinn holding her hands and lifting her high in the air before the wave could hit her. Jed could hear the little girl's shrieks of delight from the beach. Max splashed and paced back and forth through the water keeping an eye on things. Jed sat content for a long while just watching his family and enjoying the fun they were having. 

The water was cold so it didn't take long for them to return, chilled and breathless. 

"I thought I sent you two on a mission," Jed said, wrapping a fluffy towel around Nicholas. 

In response, Aislinn dropped her cold little body onto her father's warm lap. 

"Hey, you're cold," Jed gasped. 

Aislinn giggled and snuggled closer into his chest. Jed smiled and grabbed a towel to wrap her up. 

Abbey was wiping at her thighs with a towel when she saw her son discard his towel and plop his butt down right on one of the castle towers to begin digging in the sand again. Her fingers flew to her lips to keep in her laughter at the look of dismay on her husband's face. Then, to add insult to injury, Max walked up right behind him and shook his big, wet body spraying Jed with the icy water from the sea. She couldn't hold it in anymore and her laughter bubbled forth. 

"You think this is funny, do you?" Jed asked. Abbey nodded as he made his way menacingly toward her. She took a tentative step back and Jed pounced forward tickling her ribcage in just the spot he knew would send her into fits of laughter. 

As Ellie, Zoey, and Annie approached the beach, Abbey was laughing and fighting off Jed's tickling hands. 

"Hey, you two," Zoey said. "You have impressionable young children here." 

"You've seen me tickle your mother before," Jed teased. 

Zoey gave him a sarcastic look and pointed to her young siblings. Abbey's eyes widened as she saw Aislinn lift a hand full of the wet sand she had been patting down toward her mouth. 

"Jed! Stop her! She's eating sand!" 

In two strides Jed was at his daughter's side, pulling her hand from her mouth. 

"Yucky, Aislinn," he told her, as he wiped away the remnants as best he could. 

"We play with sand. We don't eat it." 

"Gross." Annie wrinkled her nose. 

"You ate sand in your day, young lady," Jed told her. "All you girls did." 

Much to Abbey's dismay, both kids had discarded their towels and were now covered head to toe with wet sand. 

"I think it's time to go back to the house to clean up and have a nice nap," she said. 

"No nap." It had become Nicholas' standard response. 

"You want to take a shower with Daddy before your nap?" Sometimes bribery really was the easiest way to avoid a fight. 

That got Nicholas right to his feet. He enjoyed his baths, but he really loved a shower and the only time he was allowed to take one of those was with his mother or father. 

**** 

Leo and Jordan made their way over the sandy beach to where Ellie, Zoey, and Annie lay sunbathing. Zoey smiled at Ellie when she saw Leo in his suit and tie. Uncle Leo had never been much of a vacationer. 

"You look a little overdressed for the beach, Uncle Leo," she teased. 

Leo smiled at his goddaughter. "Where are your folks?" 

"They're up at the house putting the twins down for a nap." 

"Okay." He turned to Jordan and took her hand. 

"I'm going to go back to the guest house and unpack," she told him. "You go tell them we're here." 

Leo nodded and when she walked away, he already missed his buffer. 

**** 

"I can't understand how you kids can get this much sand caked on you." Jed stood in the warm shower trying to wash the salt, sand and sunscreen off of his son. 

"Are you guys almost done in there?" Abbey stood at the sink rinsing Nicky's sandy bathing suit. 

"Just about." 

"Did you wash his hair?" 

"Yes, I washed his hair." 

"Well, if he's done, pass him on out." 

Jed opened the shower to allow Abbey to take the boy and wrap him in a towel. By the time he had finished with himself, Abbey had Nicholas all powdered up and in a clean diaper. Jed stood in the doorway with just a towel around his waist, his hair wet and tousled and Abbey wondered what he would say if she suggested that THEY take a little siesta while the kids took theirs. She knew it wouldn't take much persuasion. 

"Showers open," he said. 

"So I see. Okay, Ash, it's our turn. Just put a T-shirt on Nicky," she said as she approached him. "He can sleep in that…By the way, you're looking pretty good, Bartlet." She gave him a tap on the rear as she passed him on the way to the bathroom. 

Jed watched her walk across the hall with Aislinn in tow, a sly grin crossing his face. He knew what that look in Abbey's eye meant and the sooner he could get the kids down for their nap, the sooner Daddy could take advantage of the time alone with Mommy. 

"Okay, Jed!" Abbey called out from the shower. "Aislinn's done, come and get her." Jed opened the door to the bathroom just as Abbey stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around herself. He held a towel open for Aislinn and watched with surprise as she raced past him and the towel to run wet and naked down the hall. 

"Aislinn Faith Bartlet, you little streaker, I'm going to get you," Jed laughed and began to chase the giggling little girl, who, at the end of the hall, ran smack dab into her shocked Uncle Leo. 

"Leo," Jed exhaled with surprise. 

"Jed, did you catch her?" Abbey asked, stepping out of the bathroom. 

Leo looked up from the naked little girl at his feet to where Abbey stood wrapped in just a towel, her hair wet and hanging to her bare shoulders. 

"Leo!" she gasped and stepped back. Jed immediately moved to stand in front of her and shield her from Leo's gaze. 

"Leo, what in the hell are you doing up here?" 


	4. Summer Storms

Jed's eyes were filled with the same look of icy rage they'd had when he had first confronted him about the picture. It was obvious to Leo, in that moment, that things were definitely a long way from being settled between the three of them. 

"I…I'm sorry," Leo stuttered. 

"We're all half naked here." Jed stated the obvious, as he picked up a wet and whining Aislinn. The little girl began to kick and do her very best to squirm out of her father's arms as he turned to make his way toward Abbey. As he got closer to her mother and the towel Abbey was holding open, Aislinn's whines turned to all out fussing and she straightened her body out in a desperate need to slip from her father's grasp. The sudden movement and the fact that she was wet and slippery almost caused Jed to drop her. 

"Aislinn, STOP IT! You're going to hurt yourself." Jed's voice was stern – a voice he rarely used with her and her lower lip began to quiver. 

Leo averted his eyes as Jed handed the baby to the scantily toweled Abbey. Abbey ducked quickly behind the bedroom door, feeling a little ridiculous. Leo had seen her in less than this before, but never had she been so keenly aware of how he felt about her as she did standing there completely naked under that towel. 

"The girls told me you were putting the twins down for a nap," Leo said, when Jed's attention had turned back to him. "I just wanted to let you know that Jordan and I were here. I had no idea…If I had known…I'm sorry…" He turned to leave. 

Jed turned to pad barefoot back to the bedroom. Abbey stood in the doorway her hand on one hip. 

"Jed, go talk to him," she hissed. He gave her a "Do I have to?" look and she simply pointed down the hall to where Leo had disappeared. Then, looking like a boy being sent to the principal's office, Jed headed off to find his friend. 

"Leo!" He caught the man just as he was reaching the bottom of the stairs. 

"Jed, if I had known that you guys were in the shower…" His face reddened with embarrassment. 

"Leo, it's okay. I'm the one who's sorry. I overreacted a bit back there." Both of them knew what Jed left unsaid. If this had happened last year, all three of them would have laughed it off and thought nothing of it. But this year Leo had been embarrassed; Abbey had been self-conscious and disconcerted and Jed had been ready to rip Leo a new one just for looking at her. What a tangled mess this was. 

"It looks like we still have a long way to go before things are normal between all of us again," Leo sighed. 

"Looks that way," Jed agreed. He was however, beginning to wonder if he would ever react normally around Leo again. 

**** 

The first day of the staff's arrival to Windy Point dawned gray, rainy, and foggy. Abbey stood staring out the kitchen window in her jeans and a heavy fisherman's sweater, watching the wind pelt the rain against the house. 

"Hey, Mom," Ellie said, entering the kitchen. She was dressed much the same as Abbey. "Did you have all the old chests brought here from the farm?" 

"Yes, they had already arrived by the time I got here." 

"Today will be the perfect day to go through them all and look for some old clothes to use for the karaoke party." 

"I wish you wouldn't refer to them as 'old', Eleanor," Abbey said. "They were clothes that your father and I wore when we were in college, not the dark ages." 

"There's more than that. Some of those trunks had stuff like your old school uniforms from 'Immaculate Heart of Mary'." 

"You still have those?" Jed set down his cup of coffee, his interest piqued. Knowing her husband as well as she did, Abbey could see a night of playing Catholic schoolgirl looming somewhere ahead in her future. 

"Yes, I do. So, what are you going to do today while we rummage through old trunks?" 

"I guess I'll go over to the guest house and see if the guys want to play some poker." 

Abbey knew that there were more than just the guys in that house. This year Leo had brought Jordan and Josh had brought Amy. "Tell CJ, Amy, and Jordan they can come over and go through the clothes with us if they don't feel like playing poker. I'm absolutely dying to meet Jordan." 

**** 

Walking up the stairs to the Bartlet cottage, Jordan could hear a voice muttering. 

"Oh, Nicholas, where did you put the damn thing?" The voice sounded as if it was coming from the end of the porch and, squinting through the fog, Jordan could see the movement of someone crawling on the floor. 

"Hello?" she called out tentatively. Within seconds a woman materialized through the mist to stand right in front of her. With her auburn hair curly from the damp air, her wide hazel eyes, and the light smattering of freckles across her nose she looked as if she had stepped straight out of the Irish countryside. She was smaller than she looked on TV, several inches shorter than Jordan's own 5'7" and that gave her an aura of vulnerability. It was First Lady Abigail Bartlet and she was already nothing like what Jordan had expected. 

"Hello." Abbey held out her hand then pulled it back when she realized she was still holding a plastic train. "Sorry, my son has several dozen toys but right now he is adamant that the only one that will do is his choo-choo. You must be Jordan. I'm Abigail Bartlet." 

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," Jordan shook her hand. 

"Please, no 'ma'am' stuff here. It's just, Abbey. Come on inside. I have to get this up to the nursery before a tantrum explodes." 

Jordan smiled and followed the First Lady up the stairs. Something told her that despite her earlier misgivings, she was going to like Abbey very much. 

**** 

"Well, I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy day than by spanking my friends out of a little hard earned cash." Jed gleefully pulled the money from the poker pot his way, a cigar clenched between his teeth. He'd prefer a cigarette but Abbey had gone through his suitcase, found his hidden stash, and flushed them down the toilet. So, he'd had to rely on Toby for his nicotine fix. He dipped a tortilla chip in salsa and surveyed the table with its bottles of beer, ashtrays, several different variations of chips and not a vegetable in sight. Oh yes, life was good, life was very good indeed. So, feeling the way that he did, he couldn't understand why Josh had been moping through the entire game. Finally the sighs and the little lost boy looks were just too much and Jed turned to him. 

"At the risk of you bringing my good humor down for the day, would you mind telling me why you're acting like you just lost your best friend? I haven't heard that many sighs out of one person since Annie asked me for the new M&M and I brought her a bag of candy. Evidently, there is a singer of the same name and it was a CD that she wanted." 

"You got M&M's and Eminem mixed up?" Sam nearly spit his beer over the table with laughter. 

"An honest mistake," Jed glared at him over his eyeglasses. "I mean who names themselves after little bites of chocolate?" 

"Have you ever listened to the lyrics of his music?" Toby was surprised the Bartlets would allow someone Annie's age to own one of those CD's. 

"No, can't say as I've had the pleasure. I've heard it blaring in Annie's and Zoey's rooms but it was Abbey who listened to the lyrics and decided the only way Annie was getting that was in an edited form. I have a feeling she listens to Zoey's though." 

"Hey, can we get back to me?" Josh whined. 

"Oh, yeah, what is your issue?" Jed gave him a puzzled look. "Here we are: sun, sea, sand, good food, good company. Hell, you even brought a girl this year..." 

"Bingo!" Sam grinned and Josh gave him a malevolent stare. "This vacation has not turned out as he expected it too. Amy has her own bedroom." 

"Have you…you know…" Jed wiggled his eyebrows. 

"Barbecued?" Josh asked, a twinkle of good humor returning to his eyes. "Yes, we've barbecued plenty; only now she's changing the rules on me. I invited her up here for a romantic long weekend and she grabs a separate bedroom." 

"Ah ha, that's where you made the mistake, my boy." Jed leaned back and puffed on his cigar. "What does romance mean to you?" 

"I dunno…I guess it would be…" Josh trailed off. 

"Sex," Jed said. "Romance to you means sex, just as it does for every other male on this planet and that's where things get screwy. Men and women are just programmed differently. We think about sex all the time – they don't. I mean I'll be walking along the beach with Abbey and she's going on and on about some new dress that she bought and asking me if I think her sapphire earrings will go with it or if she should wear the amethysts. Well, I could not care less what damn earrings she wears with the dress because all I'll be thinking about is how fast I can get her out of it, but do I say that? Of course not. I tell her the sapphire earrings bring out the blue in her eyes and that she is beautiful no matter what she wears, and guess what? When we get home I get the male version of romance and lots of it. So we're both happy." 

Josh pondered that for a minute. He knew just how much barbecuing the President got in with the First Lady so he didn't take the advice given lightly. "So, you're saying, walk with her on the beach, tell her the moonlight shines in her eyes and things will come around my way?" 

"Well, I hope you'll be sincere. I really do mean the things that I say to Abbey. That's what makes it seduction and not just some sleazy guy with a come on trying to get a woman into bed." 

"Are we going to play here or spend the day discussing the ways of seducing a woman?" Leo asked with irritation, making everyone aware that their discussion had hit a nerve. 

"Let's play." Toby quickly began to deal. The last thing any of them wanted was for the tension to rise again between the President and his Chief of Staff. 

**** 

"Other than a musty old used bookstore there is no better place to be on a rainy day than going through old things in an attic," Abbey pronounced. 

"I can't believe all this stuff you guys have." CJ was seated in front of an old chest. She had placed a large ivory turn of the century hat, decorated with big purple flowers, on her head and was in the process of sliding matching elbow length gloves up her arms. "All of these trunks were really up in your attic in New Hampshire?" 

"Mmm…"Abbey murmured, pulling out a deep emerald green flapper dress that had belonged to Jed's grandmother, Eleanor. None of these outfits were new to her; she and the girls had spent many hours on rainy days playing dress up back home in the attic. She had even occasionally used the garments as costumes for Halloween. "The Bartlets are truly a family of packrats; they never throw anything out." 

"I guess they didn't." Jordan sighed with awe, as she opened a trunk that contained beautiful bright silk shawls and hand painted fans from the Orient. 

"Actually, those come from my own attic back home in Salem. Jed's ancestors stayed home, tended the land and built a nation, but mine roamed the sea. My family made their money in shipping and trade with the Orient, then later in whaling. We still have some exquisite things that they brought home from their travels." 

"It must be fascinating to know so much about your own family history," CJ said. 

"My grandmother was working on some family genealogy before she died, but she didn't get very far back." 

"Look at this." Ellie pulled out an old battered blue suit of the Union army. "This belonged to our great, great, great – did I remember all the great's? – grandfather, Ethan Bartlett. He was a captain in the Union army and was shot in the leg in the Battle of Gettysburg. The hole is right here." She lifted the gray pants to show the torn bullet hole just above the knee. "He ended up getting gangrene and had to have the leg amputated." 

"Did you ever think about putting any of this stuff in a museum?" Amy asked. 

"Oh, God, no," Abbey exclaimed with mock horror. "Jed's mother would have a coronary if we even suggested doing that. 'We must save things for posterity, Abigail'." She mimicked Emily Bartlet's stiff formal speech. "Although, I suppose once Jed has a presidential library, we might put some of this stuff in there. It will certainly be preserved better." She sneezed from the dust as she pulled out a gorgeous long white Edwardian dress. 

"I still can't believe that women wore these as everyday dresses," Zoey said. "Remember when you used to put your hair up and put on that dress and we would put on these?" She showed the rest of the women some of the taffeta and lace childhood dresses that had been neatly folded in a trunk. 

"And we'd play music on that old Victrola and have tea parties," Ellie enthused. "I always felt so grown up and ladylike wearing these dresses. Remember how Daddy used to come up and pretend he'd been caught in a time warp." 

"He'd call us his Victorian ladies," Zoey laughed. "And he'd ask us where his tomboys went." 

"It was the only time you girls didn't fight me about putting your hair up or making you get all dressed up." Abbey smiled at the memory of sitting with her three lovely daughters all dressed up in clothes their ancestors had worn in a completely different century. 

"That must have been fun," Jordan sighed, wistfully. Never having had children, she had never realized just how much fun it could have been. She had always thought about the work part of it and never really thought about the fun. Now she was seeing just how nice it would be to have someone to sit here with reminiscing about all the shared good times of the past, children who shared a history with you. 

"What are these?" CJ asked, while she began unwrapping the delicate material that had been so lovingly stored away. 

Abbey turned to see the once white, and now yellowing, old gowns and her face softened with recognition. "Those are christening gowns. My great, great grandmother on my father's side brought the one that you're holding over from Ireland when she emigrated here during the famine. She did all the hand-stitching and embroidery herself, isn't it amazing? I was christened in it as were my mother and my grandmother and all of my daughters, including Aislinn, remember? Even Annie was baptized in it." 

"What did Nicholas wear?" Jordan asked. 

"He wore Jed's. It's the one over there." 

"AH HA, this is the trunk I've been looking for!" Annie exclaimed. "This is the one with all Grams and Gramps old hippie clothes." 

"I was not a HIPPIE," Abbey protested. 

"Mom, you protested the war. You wore colored sunglasses, hip huggers, halter tops and love beads. Face it, you were a hippie." Ellie grinned at her. 

Zoey pulled out a pair of pale blue, hip hugger bell-bottoms with puffy white clouds. "I LOVE these!" she exclaimed. 

Jordan looked at the dimensions of the pants and gave CJ a rueful smile. CJ knew exactly what Jordan was thinking. 

"My God, Abbey, what were you, like, a size 2?" CJ asked. 

"No," Abbey thrust her chin out. "I was NOT a size 2." 

"Let's see." Zoey pulled at the tag. "She was a size 3." 

"See…" Abbey stuck her tongue out at CJ. "I was bigger than you thought." 

"Ooooh a WHOPPING size THREE." 

"Give me a break, I'm small boned." 

"Look what I found over here…" Ellie dangled an ivory card. 

"What is that?" Amy asked. "It looks like an invitation." 

"It is." Ellie began to read from the card. "Dr. and Mrs. Michael O'Neill request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Abigail Anne to Mr. Josiah Daniel Bartlet, son of Prof. and Mrs. John Bartlet…I found the wedding trunk!" 

"You have one of those framed with a picture from your wedding in your bedroom at the farm," Annie said, glancing down at the familiar script while everyone began crowding around the trunk to see what treasures would be found. 

"We actually brought it with us to the White House," Abbey corrected her. 

The first thing Ellie pulled out of the trunk was a lovely sheath in the palest of dusty rose. 

"You didn't wear white at your wedding, Abbey?" Amy asked. "That was daring back then." 

"Of course I wore white at my wedding." Abbey flashed a warning glance at Annie. Now was not the time for any of the teenager's sarcastic comments about her not being virginal enough for white. "This is my sister Jane's bridesmaid dress." 

"Aunt Jane must have HATED having to wear this. I think the only time I've seen her wear a dress was at Dad's inauguration," Ellie laughed. 

"She wasn't too pleased, I'll admit that. But you do for family what you won't do for others. Your cousin Danielle wore that." Abbey nodded at the frilly ivory tulle dress Zoey had pulled out. "She was all of about four when she was our flower girl. Her six year old brother Anthony was our ring bearer." 

Ellie pulled out the satin pillow her parents' wedding rings had been tied to. Both of their names had been embroidered on the bed of the pillow where their rings had lain. 

"That is just exquisite handiwork." Jordan picked up the pillow to admire it. 

"My great grandmother did that for me as a wedding gift. She also embroidered mine and Jed's first initials intertwined on the train of my wedding gown." 

Next out of the trunk came a gauzy veil, a pale blue garter, a pair of white elbow length satin gloves, and a pair of white sling back shoes with a crystal clasp and 3½ inch heels. But, Abbey was no longer paying attention to what came out of the trunk, she had moved on to the black garment bag that lay over a railing. She was gently unzipping it when CJ came up to stand behind her. 

"What's tha…" Her question trailed off as she saw what the zipper revealed. "God, it's your wedding gown, isn't it?" 

"Mmm…" Abbey smiled, touching the fabric almost reverently. She hadn't had much time to plan her wedding but she had taken her time to find exactly the perfect dress. It had meant trying on almost every gown in the greater Boston area, but it had been worth the effort. She truly loved the gown she had chosen. She took it carefully out of the garment bag and everyone stood admiring it for a few moments. 

"Why don't you try it on, Mom? See if it still fits." Zoey said. 

Abbey's protests fell on deaf ears and before she knew it she was standing behind an old armoire and Ellie was slipping her gown over her head. 

Breathless ooh's and ahhh's filled the room as she stepped out from behind the armoire. 

"Oh, Abbey, you look stunning." Amy was the first to regain her speech. 

"Thank you." Abbey stood in front of the old full-length mirror watching as Ellie buttoned her up. The gown had a very low cut back but still had almost a dozen mother of pearl buttons. She gazed down at the cleavage being revealed by the gown. "I wasn't quite so busty when I was twenty-one," she grinned. 

"You mean there is hope for me, even though I'm long past the age of twenty-one." CJ glanced down at her less than ample chest. 

"Just have a couple of babies and see what happens." 

Finally, Ellie was finished with the buttons and Abbey turned to them. The gown was absolutely perfect, a fairytale-wedding gown and Abbey looked like a fairytale princess in it. The beaded and embroidered dropped waist corset bodice revealed Abbey's tiny waist, while the double spaghetti strapped scooped neckline showed off her figure to its best advantage, leaving her shoulders bare. It had been, after all, a summer wedding. The skirt flared from her waist into yards of Duchesse satin and taffeta and a cathedral train. Elbow length satin gloves finished off the elegant look. 

Jed stepped up unnoticed into the attic – unnoticed because everyone was circled around Abbey. When the circle parted momentarily, Jed's breath caught in his throat. Seeing Abbey, he was transported to that July day of his twenty-second year, the year that had changed his life forever – the year that Abbey had become his bride. Amazingly enough she hadn't changed all that much, if anything she was even more beautiful now than she had been then, having fulfilled the promise of a pretty girl who turned into a beautiful woman. 

"Abbey…" he choked. 

Abbey turned, her hand rising to her throat with surprise. "Jed." 


	5. Summer Storms

Their gazes locked and it was as if they were the only two in the room – nobody existed except husband and wife. The other women were silent as they watched the emotional interplay between the couple, feeling the intensity of the connection that drew the two together. They watched, almost without breathing, as Jed began to move forward toward Abbey, completely oblivious to the fact that they were not alone. Abbey's eyes never left her husband's, so she didn't notice the room had cleared until Jed stood before her with a look of such intimacy in his eyes that she chanced an uncomfortable glance at the others and realized that they were totally alone. 

"Abbey," Jed breathed. "My God, woman, you take my breath away." One of his hands splayed on the curve of his wife's small waist, the other gently brushed a tendril of hair back off her cheek. "For a minute there I was twenty-two years old again, filled with nerves and totally awed that the amazing woman standing before me was actually agreeing to spend the rest of her life with me." 

"Jed..." Her lovely hazel eyes began to glisten with the shimmer of tears. 

"What is it, Abbey?" 

"That look in your eyes when you saw me just now. It was the same look you had when you watched me walk down the aisle and I joined you at the altar. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday, but most of the time I can't remember what it felt like to be just me, you know, before there was an 'us'." 

"I DO remember very well what it felt like before there was an 'us' and it's the last thing that I want to remember. I didn't become 'me' until you became a part of my life, until you came along and told me it was okay to be whoever I wanted to be. Do you know what kind of freedom that was to somebody who grew up like I did?" 

"I have an idea." She reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. 

"You gave me everything that day, Abbey. You gave me love and joy, and most of all, hope. Hope for a future filled with children and laughter and happiness. A future of helping each other soar toward our dreams and catching each other when we crashed back down to earth. I knew that you would love me whether I decided to teach or go into business or work in a think tank or chuck my whole damn economics doctorate and run the family dairy farm. You never cared if I was a Nobel laureate or a farmer." 

"The only thing that I've ever cared about when it came to your career was for you to be true to yourself and to be happy. How you did that never really mattered to me. But, you gave me freedom, too." 

"Abbey, you always had everyone's backing to be whoever you wanted to be." 

"Not everyone's. Do you know how many of my older relatives told me that I should throw the idea of becoming a doctor out the window once I got pregnant with Elizabeth? Or how many of my friends told me that once the baby came you wouldn't allow me to go on to medical school, or you certainly wouldn't make it easy for me." 

"They didn't know what they were talking about. That was always the plan. I promised you your shot at your dreams." 

"It wouldn't have been hard for you to renege on that one. Remember how badly I was wavering after Elizabeth was born and I couldn't imagine not being there 24/7 for her? I mean I'd been everything to her for almost two years. You easily could have tipped the scales in favor of me putting medical school off. It certainly would have made your life easier. Instead, you kicked me in the ass and told me that if I gave up on my dreams I would regret it for the rest of my life." 

"If you'd given up, yes, my life might have been easier but probably not happier. There was too much in you, too much intelligence, compassion and ambition for you to squander that. I always knew that Elizabeth would be better off with a happy mother – one who was fulfilled at home and in her career, rather than one that was simply with her 24/7. You needed to be as true to yourself as I did." 

"And do you have any idea how many husbands wouldn't have supported letting me spread my wings like that?" 

"I never wanted you to have any regrets about marrying me." Abbey heard the catch in his voice, saw the sheen of tears in his beautiful blue eyes and she swallowed past the lump that formed in her throat. 

"Regrets?" Her eyes widened with astonishment and she wrapped her arms around his waist to rest her cheek against his chest. "Never. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Jed. I can't imagine being where I am right now without you standing beside me." She looked up at him with lashes wet with tears. "You've help to make me the person that I am. I love you so much sometimes that it hurts. When I married you I never thought that I could love you with any greater intensity than I did when I saw you standing in your tuxedo at the altar, so handsome and so nervous, but, God, that just pales when I compare it to what I feel for you now." She wrapped an arm around Jed's neck and pulled his face down for a tender heartfelt kiss – a kiss so different from the one they had shared in front of the congregation the last time she had been wearing this wedding gown. 

"You know," Jed murmured, as he nuzzled down her soft bare neck to her collarbone. "I never did get the chance to undress you on our wedding night. You changed in the bathroom into that silky negligee." 

"You didn't seem to have any problems getting rid of that." Abbey sighed and tilted her head back to give Jed's lips better access to her throat. 

"No, but still, I think I may have missed out on something. You're not going to deny me the chance to re-live history, are you?" 

"Me? Deny you anything?" Her fingers began to thread through his hair as his lips started to trail across her collarbone. 

"That's what I like to hear." 

Abbey felt his hands move over the bare expanse of her back and begin working on the mother of pearl buttons. His very masculine fingers seemed to be having a lot of problems working at the delicate buttons. 

"You okay back there?" She smiled against his lips. 

"Yeah, I'll get it." 

"You sure?" 

"Damn," he groaned. "How the HELL do you get these tiny buttons undone?" 

Abbey felt him grab both sides of the gown with frustration. 

"Don't you DARE." She pushed him away knowing exactly what he was about to do. "This isn't some _Victoria's Secret_ teddy you can rip off my body. This is my WEDDING gown. Now, let's have a little patience and work together to get me out of it." 

**** 

"So, you met Abbey." Leo pretended nonchalance as Jordan joined him in the kitchen where he was making himself a sandwich. 

"Yeah, I met Abbey." 

"And…" 

"And I can see why you fell in love with her. She's not just a very attractive woman; there's a real warmth to her. She's also sharp as a tack and has a great sense of humor. I guess I didn't expect that. I think I expected her to be more reserved and aloof; she was nothing like that. I mean, her family practically came over on the Mayflower; her husband is the President of the United States and, yet, there doesn't seem to be a snobbish bone in her body." 

"There isn't," Leo smiled. "Abbey is just as comfortable trading jokes with construction workers and truck drivers as she is trading polite conversation with heads of state and royalty at state dinners. With Abbey, it's what you see is what you get. There is no artifice about her at all." 

"And you're still head over heels in love with her." 

"Is it that obvious?" Leo sighed. 

"When you talk about her it is. Your admiration comes shining through." 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. At least you're being honest. And, just a few minutes ago I got my first taste of why you need me up here so badly." 

"What do you mean? What happened?" 

"I got my first chance to see the President and First Lady in a casual atmosphere, and honest to God, Leo, if you've loved that woman all these years I don't know how you've been able to stand it." 

"What happened?" 

"We were in the attic going through old chests of clothes – laughing, teasing, and gossiping and then the First Lady found her wedding gown and tried it on. When the President came up and saw her in the gown, they were so focused on one another I don't think either of them even noticed when we snuck out to give them some privacy. Honestly, you hear about people having chemistry, but for those two it was like the earth being drawn by the moon or something. They love each other very, very much, that was incredibly apparent." 

"Yes, they do. They've always been that way. They can get so centered on one another that they can argue or dance, or even kiss to the exclusion of anything else that may be going on. It's gotten them into trouble a time or two." 

"Hey, there are worse things to get in trouble for in the press than being too intimate with your spouse," Jordan gave a rueful smile. "The First Lady doesn't seem like the kind of person that would let something like that bother her." 

"You really liked her, didn't you?" 

"You know, Leo, I really didn't want to like her. It was easier for me to see her as this sort of femme fatale who was leading you on or something, but that just isn't her. Yes, I really do like her. She's the kind of person I could be friends with." 

"I'm glad. She's a special person and you're a special person. You should be friends." He took Jordan's hand and gazed into her eyes. "Thank you again for coming up here with me. It really does help." 

"You're very welcome." 

**** 

"So, was re-living history as good as you thought that it would be?" Taking into consideration the fact that she and Jed were not alone in the house, and not wanting to be caught _in flagrante delicto_ , the two had re-dressed rather haphazardly and were now laying wrapped in each other's arms on an old worn sleeping bag, listening to the comforting sound of the rain beating down on the roof. 

"I never fantasized that it would take me fifteen minutes to get you out of your damn wedding gown," Jed growled and nipped her earlobe. 

"That's all that you have to say on the subject?" Abbey felt his palm slide up under her sweater to run in soothing circles over her stomach. 

"Well, I could tell you that you've learned a few moves since our wedding night and you're certainly a hell of a lot less inhibited." Jed smiled at the memory of her initial shyness in touching him and in allowing him to touch her. Even if they had made love once before, that kind of intimacy had been so new. 

"Inhibited?!" She got up on one elbow to look into his face. "I was not inhibited. Nervous maybe, but not inhibited. YOU, my darling man, were the one who was inhibited." 

"I've never been inhibited a day in my life in bed. You know exactly why I was being so tentative with you, my darling woman." 

Abbey laughed softly at the memory. "Because you thought you were going to give our baby brain damage." 

"It's not funny, Abigail. I thought for sure that all that pounding away in there couldn't be good for the unborn child. I didn't want my kid coming into the world with a big dent in her head." 

"Well, if that were the case, then all our kids would have been born with dents in their heads." 

They were both still chuckling over the memory of how young and naïve they had been when they heard the door open and movement on the attic stairs. 

"Is it safe to come up?" CJ called out. 

"Of course it's safe to come up," Jed called back. Abbey pushed Jed's hand out from under her sweater and straightened herself up as best she could. Jed, bless his careless soul, didn't even bother. 

"Why would you ask if it's safe to come up here?" Abbey asked, when CJ reached the top of the stairs. "We were just going through the trunks." 

"If you think that I'm buying that one then pigs must be flying over D.C. as we speak." 

The room was dead silent and Abbey and Jed simply stared at their press secretary. CJ began to squirm uncomfortably, wondering if she had overstepped her bounds. Then, unable to contain themselves any longer, both the President and First Lady burst into laughter. 

"What gave us away?" Abbey asked. 

"Oh I don't know, maybe because when I saw you earlier your sweater was not on inside out, and, Mr. President, isn't it customary to line the right side up with the left when you button a shirt." 

Jed looked down at his mismatched buttons. "You're in the wrong business, CJ. You ought to think about going into private investigations." 

"No offense, Mr. President, Ma'am, but it would hardly take a P.I. to figure out what was going on up here." 

"Well, I'm sure you didn't come up here just to 'out' us," Jed said, as he began to re-button his shirt. 

"No, sir. I've just been on the phone with the Mayor. They would like you to speak on the Commons at the end of the Fourth of July parade." 

"I was planning on watching the parade with Abbey and the kids." 

"You can still do that. You won't speak until the end. It's a great photo op, sir. Nothing could be more Norman Rockwell Americana than a politician speaking from a gazebo on a grassy commons while little kids walk around with ice cream cones and American flags." 

Jed looked to Abbey. He had promised her this vacation, a time for family before the campaign took off in full force. "What do you think?" 

Abbey sighed deeply and looked at CJ. "He can still watch the parade with us?" 

"Absolutely." 

"And it's just a quick speech? We'll still have the rest of the day and night free from the media?" 

"As promised." 

"I guess it's okay then. Just remember that we have a big day planned for the Fourth. I don't want our plans ruined." 

"They won't be," Jed assured her. "I'll still take you and the girls water skiing and we'll take that sail out to the island and then we'll all watch the fireworks from the point." 

"I'm counting on it, Jed." 


	6. Summer Storms

The sun filtering through the gauzy white curtains woke Jed slowly. He stretched out tentatively under the white coverlet not wanting to awaken Abbey who still lay sound asleep cuddled up to his side. It was a rare morning that he was awake before his wife. Thanks to her profession and having five children, it was she who was the light sleeper, she who awoke at the slightest whisper, and she who was generally in a much better humor first thing in the morning. He, on the other hand, thrived late into the night. He'd always put off grading papers and preparing lectures until after he'd helped his own children with their homework and helped to get them all tucked into bed. Subsequently, he was a little crabbier in the morning – but not this special morning. 

Through the half open window he could hear the pounding surf, the cries of the seagulls and the sound of firecrackers being set off back in the hills. It was the morning of the Fourth of July and all appeared to be well. The sun was sparkling off the blue expanse of the Atlantic and for the first time in days the omnipresent sound of the foghorn was missing. By all accounts, it was going to be a glorious day. 

He kissed the top of his wife's head and gently began to disengage himself from her. Not bothering with his robe, he ran his fingers through his thick, sleep-tousled hair and began to make his way down the hall wearing a pair of old sweats and a gray T-shirt. He could smell coffee brewing and bacon sizzling and knew that Mrs. Johannson must already be bustling around the kitchen. His mother and her cook/housekeeper had arrived just yesterday and, as she always did, Mrs. Johannson had gone right to work preparing for the hordes that would descend on the house today. 

Jed slowly opened the door to the nursery and found that both of his children were still sleeping as soundly as their mother had been. He stopped first at Nicky's crib. His son still slept like a babe in the womb, his knees drawn to his chest, his thumb firmly wedged in his mouth and his covers undisturbed. Aislinn, on the other hand, had kicked her covers off and her little pink Cinderella nightgown was tangled up around her waist. Sometimes the overpowering feeling of love that he had for his children was enough to bring the sting of tears to his eyes. They were so precious to him and, yet, it was a rare thing for him to have the time to just stand there and watch them sleep. At the White House everything was so rushed with early morning meetings that he barely had time for a quick breakfast with them and he was off. He enjoyed the sweet innocence of watching them sleep and was loathe to awaken them, however, a glance at the Mickey Mouse clock on the wall told him it was time to get moving if they were going to have breakfast and make it to the parade on time. 

He opened the curtains allowing the sun to stream into the room. Both children began to whimper and stir. Nicky's blue eyes blinked slowly then focused on Jed standing above his crib and he gave his father a sleepy adoring smile. It was the same look he had given him as a newborn when he used to nurse at Abbey's breast. 

"Dadda." He yawned, and, still lying on his back, he lifted his arms toward his father. Jed's heart did a little flip-flop at the gesture and he marveled at the fact that none of this ever got old. He lifted Nicholas into his arms and moved to awaken his sleepy-head daughter who whined and turned her head away from her father's insistent hand. 

"Okay, sunshine," Jed told her. "If you don't want to wake up and go eat breakfast, I guess it will just be Nicholas who gets to go to the parade." He started to walk away. 

"Pwade!" Aislinn called out to him. She was hanging over the edge of her crib by the time Jed got to her and lifted her into his other arm. 

"Get over here, you little monkey. Let's go wake up Mommy and get this show on the road." 

**** 

Jordan sat at the kitchen table at the Bartlet cottage watching the dizzying array of Bartlets preparing breakfast for everyone. As an only child, it was a tad overwhelming. There seemed to be so many of them. The President's attractive elder daughters were setting out platters on the big buffet, while the cook, the First Lady's mother and the President's sister-in-law were busy cooking eggs and pulling blueberry muffins from the oven. The President's elderly mother sat with Nicholas on her lap while the President's father-in-law and brother debated the use of hormones in dairy cows. The First Lady's sister was teasing the President, who had his youngest daughter on his lap and was attempting, with difficulty, to put the little barrette with its red, white, and blue ribbon in her wispy blond curls. Into this scene of chaos walked the First Lady in a thin floral sundress, looking as cool and lovely as a spring day. Her exceptional tanned legs were bare and she wore a pair of strappy sandals. Fashionable to the core, her toenails were painted a soft pink that matched the roses in her dress. Her hair was loose and curling to her shoulders. Jordan watched with surprise as Abbey grabbed an apron, tied it around her slim hips and began to pitch in to help. Nobody else seemed a bit surprised by the move. She watched Leo's eyes follow Abbey and saw the barest hint of yearning before he turned away to look out the window at the sea. 

Nicholas squirmed off his grandmother's lap and both he and Aislinn began toddling around Abbey's legs, tugging at her dress and begging to be picked up. Rather than being irritated, Abbey swung Aislinn up onto her hip with practiced ease and gave Nicholas half of a blueberry muffin. Nicholas plopped down on his diapered butt in the middle of the kitchen, unconcerned with all the adult movement around him, and proceeded to share his muffin with Max. Abbey sat Aislinn on the counter and began to fix the barrette that Jed had put on her crooked. Jordan couldn't get over how much motherhood really suited Abigail Bartlet. Knowing she was a brilliant surgeon, but never having never met her, she'd only seen her on the news or in magazines and there she was the sophisticated, professional First Lady, or the First Lady who oozed sexual elegance at formal functions or for photo layouts. She had never expected this warm, competent, loving wife and mother side to her. 

"There, now you look as pretty as a picture." Abbey kissed her daughter's forehead and began to maneuver her way around her son and the dog. "You sit with Daddy and finish your breakfast." She handed Aislinn back to Jed and gave her the other half of Nicky's muffin. 

"We're a bit much all at once, aren't we?" Abbey said, seeing the shell shocked sort of look on Jordan's face. 

"It's a little overwhelming, I'll admit. I'm an only child and I'm divorced. I never had any children." 

"I hope we're not wearing you out." 

"Not at all. I think it's wonderful that you are all together like this. You're a lucky woman to be surrounded by all this family." 

"Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Wait until later this afternoon when we get back from our sail and all the uncles, aunts and cousins begin to arrive for the barbecue and fireworks." 

"There are more of you?" Jordan's eyes widened with astonishment. 

"We're Catholics, Jordan. There are many, many more." 

**** 

Jed Bartlet had been to many parades in his lifetime especially since he had become President, but nothing, not even his grand Inaugural Parade could take the place of this small quaint parade down around the Village Square. He had been coming to this parade since he was a child, had brought his own children year after year. There were no senators here, no congressmen, just summer people in khakis and loafers along with the local farmers and fishermen and their families, all waving little American flags. There were no big fancy floats, just small high school bands playing John Philips Sousa, Cub Scout and Boy Scout troops, Brownies and Girl Scouts, the volunteer fire department, the American Legion, the Shriners, on and on it went. And although he was there first and foremost as an observer with his family, there were still salutes from the oldest man in the military down to the youngest little boy in the Cub Scouts. 

Toby stood to the left of the President and his family, along with the other staffers. This was his first year at Windy Point for the Fourth of July and it was a revelation of sorts. He had grown up in New York City. His experiences with parades were of the more grandiose type – the ticker tape splendor of a big city parade. But something about this little rag tag parade touched his heart. Maybe it was watching Nicholas sitting on the President's shoulders laughing and eating cotton candy. Maybe it was watching Aislinn put her sticky sugared fingers into the First Lady's mouth and watching Abbey lick the flavor off her lips. Maybe it was watching Emily Bartlet hanging on to her son John's arm and waving to a geriatric old soldier who was driving by in an antique car. Maybe it was just seeing them all together – all the Bartlets – and the sense of family, of continuity, of knowing that one hundred years from now when Jed Bartlet was long gone from the face of the earth, his great-great grandchildren would be standing in this same spot eating cotton candy and listening to _The Stars and Stripes Forever_. It was a concept that was completely foreign to him. His people had never been allowed to sink their roots very deep in any one place. Just when they thought, "yes, here is my place, my home" the pogroms would start and they would disperse and flee. But, worse than any pogrom, had been the Holocaust. The Holocaust had destroyed any chance that he might have had to be a part of something that the Bartlets had. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – they had all been destroyed and those who had survived had fled, some to America, some to Palestine. The Bartlets had helped to found this nation. They had always been here – would always be here. Could he say that about the Zieglers or the Lymans? 

Toby's musings were brought to an end as he heard the deep baritone voice of the President starting to sing with the crowd as the end of the parade brought a huge American flag held by two Boy Scouts. 

> _"It's a grand old flag_  
>  It's a high-flying flag.   
> And forever in peace may it wave.   
> It's the emblem of, the land I love.   
> The home of the free and the brave.   
> Every heart beats true to the red, white, and blue   
> And with never a boast or brag.   
> Should auld acquaintance be forgot?   
> Keep your eye on the grand old flag."

**** 

"Great job, Mrs. B," Josh called out, as he pulled in the rope lines Abbey had tossed toward him and watched her began to swim toward the ladder on the side of the powerboat that Jed had just steered around the sheltered bay side of Barren Island. Once up the ladder she accepted a hand from both Josh and Leo into the boat. She stood for a moment in her shape molding tank suit with its vertical stripes of red, white and blue, and tipped her head to one side to begin squeezing the water out of her hair. 

"Josh, could you hand me the skis?" Amy asked. When she didn't get a response she turned to see him and Leo still intently watching the First Lady and rolled her eyes. Men, she thought to herself. 

"Leo, the skis?" 

Jed turned upon hearing the irritation in Amy's voice to see the two men ogling his wife, a fact to which she was oblivious of. 

"Abbey," he said, more sharply than he had intended. Both men turned away and Abbey's head snapped up at his tone just in time to catch the towel he was throwing her way. She smiled sweetly at him and began to towel dry her hair. 

"You sure you don't want to try it, Josh?" Abbey asked, with a sly grin. 

"Are you nuts? Have you women ever heard of a little film called _Jaws_? Sharks EAT water skiers." 

"Was it in _Jaws_ or _Jaws II_ that the water skier got eaten?" Amy asked. 

"Are you sure that was in a _Jaws_ movie?" Abbey asked. "It might have been…" 

"Oh for heaven's sake, does it matter WHICH movie it was in?" Josh asked with exasperation. "I'm not tempting fate and taking the chance on being some shark's Fourth of July picnic." 

"Wimp!" Amy called out and jumped over the side of the boat into the ocean. 

"I'm not a wimp!" He tossed her the skis. 

"Chicken!" 

"Yeah, well YOU have nothing to worry about. A shark wouldn't find it worthwhile to come chasing after your scrawny ass." 

"Ooh," Abbey winced. "You're going to end up paying for that one, Josh." 

"I do NOT have a scrawny ass!" 

"Josh, you're not exactly following the advice I gave you the other night," Jed admonished him. 

"What kind of advice did you give him?" Abbey made her way to the front of the boat where Jed stood at the wheel. His windblown hair was sticking up like a rooster thanks to speeding around the bay and it caused Abbey to smile. 

"Nothing major." Jed shrugged nonchalantly. 

"He gave me advice on sweet talking a woman into bed." Josh smirked. He was not going down alone. 

"He did, did he?" Abbey grinned, as she began to smooth down Jed's hair. 

"Teaching him the art of seduction, were you?" 

"Abbey, the boy needed help." 

"I see," Abbey nodded, her eyes filled with mirth. "Josh, how many women have you dated in the past twenty years?" 

Josh drew a blank. "I…I don't know," he admitted. 

"Okay. Now, Jed, how many women have you dated in the past twenty years." 

"Aw, come on, Abbey, you know there's only been you." 

"And you're giving HIM advice?" 

"Absolutely. He's obviously not doing it right if he's still single and sleeping in a separate bedroom. And, as you may recall, I got the girl, and I kept her." He wrapped his arms around Abbey's waist and pulled her in for a quick kiss. "Mmmm…you taste salty," he murmured as he ran a tongue over his lips. 

"Mr. President!" Amy called out from the water. "I'm FREEZING!" 

"I think she's getting hypothermia," Leo deadpanned. 

"Okay, okay," Jed reluctantly let go of Abbey and turned back to pull on the throttle. 

**** 

With the water skiing and the picnic over, the small flotilla of boats made their way back toward the mainland for a late afternoon barbecue. Most everyone was on the President's large schooner the _Abigail Anne_ while a few puttered back in the _Zellie_ and a couple of power boats that they had used to ski from. Adding to the family total were the Coast Guard cutter and several cigarette boats that the Secret Service manned. 

On the _Abigail Anne_ , the woman for whom the boat was named sat under the sails wearing dark sunglasses, low riding cut offs and a tank top over her bathing suit. Her face was to the wind and she was clearly enjoying the way the boat surged through the waves sending salty sea spray into the air. Abbey was in her element out here on the open ocean with nothing but the sun and the seemingly endless sea and sky. Every so often she would take a sip from her piña colada and look back at her husband who was at the helm of the boat. Wearing just his bathing suit, a Notre Dame T-shirt, and topsiders, he looked rugged and windblown, his hair sun-bleached and shaggy. His blue eyes were seemingly bluer in his tanned face. He looked happy and healthy and more relaxed than she had seen him in ages. She was still watching Jed when she saw Leo come up from below deck. She patted the seat beside her, urging him to sit. 

"How's Toby doing?" she asked. 

"He's fine thanks to you force feeding him the Dramamine. He just doesn't want to take any chances. He made it out okay, but he was afraid that since he ate lunch he might get sick again like last year." 

"Poor Toby. It must really stink not to have sea legs. He doesn't know what he's missing not being out here on the deck with the wind in your hair and the sun on your face." Abbey turned her face back into the wind, and, looking at her lovely profile, Leo longed to run a finger along her delicate jaw line, or tuck a windblown strand of her copper hair behind her ear. 

He cleared his throat uncomfortably then turned to look out to sea toward the island in the distance. "I don't think Toby cares much what he's missing. He's not exactly an outdoorsman." 

"He is a bit of a vampire, isn't he?" 

"A vampire?" Leo burst into laughter. "That's a new one." 

"Leo, I haven't had the chance to tell you. I'm sorry about the other morning. I guess Jed and I both overreacted when we saw you in the hall. You just…you surprised me." 

"And I made you self-conscious and uncomfortable. That's one of the main reasons I never wanted you to find out how I feel. I never wanted you to stop being who you are around me. I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable." 

Abbey nodded, wishing that she could reassure him, but she couldn't. At times she did feel that way around him. "I like Jordan, Leo. I think she'll be really good for you." 

Leo saw the brightness in her eyes, the hope, and he felt a slight irritation. Everyone was so ready to throw Jordan at him thinking it would kill the feelings that he had for Abbey. "Don't go getting too excited, Abbey. Jordan and I are just friends." 

"Friends can turn into lovers in a heartbeat." She flashed him a saucy smile. 

Leo's face turned to stone. "Abbey, please don't try to play matchmaker." He got to his feet and made his way to the cooler for some bottled water. 

Abbey sighed sadly and watched him walk away. She turned and caught Jed's eyes on her. She made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind rubbing her cheek into his back. 

"What were you and Leo talking about?" he asked. 

"Jordan. I was telling him how much I like her and that I think they make a good couple." 

"He looked angry when he walked away." 

"I think I pushed him. I just want him to be happy, Jed. Is that so wrong?" 

"No, of course not." He smiled down into her face running a finger down the sun-kissed bridge of her nose. "But we can't force people to be happy." 

"No, but we can certainly try." 

Jed laughed at the determination in Abbey's voice. She never did give up easy. 

**** 

Spending the Fourth of July with the Bartlet clan had been easier than Jordan had anticipated. They didn't celebrate any differently from any other family on this patriotic holiday. Upon returning from their water-skiing trip to the island, they had returned to the mainland for a loud and lively game of softball. Loud, because she soon discovered that all of the Bartlets had very strong competitive streaks and that included the First Lady as well. 

At the crack of Ellie's bat, Abbey took off from second base. As she rounded third for home, she saw Jed guarding the plate awaiting the throw. He got the ball just as she slid into him. 

"You're OUT!" he shouted and held up the ball. 

"I was not OUT!" Abbey jumped up to her feet and went toe to toe with her husband. "I slid UNDER your tag!" 

"Sorry, sweet cheeks. You were out by a mile. You should have held up at third." 

"Jed Bartlet, you need to have your eyes examined." She placed her hands on her hips and turned to Sam, who had been pitching, and thus backing up the play. "Sam, tell him I was safe." 

Sam looked uneasily from the President to his wife. "My mother always taught me not to argue with a lady. She was safe." 

Abbey whirled on Sam, all feminist outrage. "Who are you calling a LADY?" 

Jed chuckled watching the astonishment on Sam's face. 

"Yeah, who are you calling a lady?" Amy called out from the bench. "We're all ballplayers here. Abbey just hit a double off of you." 

"Hey," Sam put his hands up in defense. "I called her safe, didn't I?" 

"You did, didn't you." Abbey smirked at Jed and stuck her tongue out before turning to walk triumphantly back to the bench where her teammates gave her high fives. 

Jed sulked back over behind the plate and began to mutter under his breath. "Bats those damn gorgeous green eyes and she gets whatever she wants." 

"Jed, did you have something to say?" Abbey called over to him. 

"Not a word, dear, not a word." 

As the afternoon progressed several grills were heated up and the President, wearing a 'Kiss the Cook' chef's apron, began flipping burgers and hot dogs while the First Lady and her daughters piled tables with salad, coleslaw, potato salad, macaroni salad, chowder, baked beans, and piles of hot steamers to be served with broth and butter. People were spread out over picnic tables and on blankets that they had laid out on the lawn to eat their meal. Unable to contain their excitement over the upcoming fireworks, children chased dogs and raced back and forth from parents to grandparents to aunts and to uncles. Somebody had turned a radio on and the music of the Boston Pops, live from the Boston Fourth of July celebration, played in the background. As the sun began to sink behind the hills to the west of the coastline and dusk began to settle over the Point, Jed brought out the _piece de resistance_ – a huge strawberry sheet cake frosted with whipped cream and decorated with blueberries and strawberries to resemble a giant American flag. On all four corners sparklers were lit to add a little pizzazz to his entry. Children squealed and raced to his side to follow him to the picnic table as if he were the Pied Piper. Nicholas whimpered softly when the sparklers burned out and urged Jed with his chubby little fingers to do it again. 

"You want to do some sparklers?" Jed asked him. 

"Yes!" Came the resounding shout from his own children and the children of his cousins and in-laws. 

"Well, okay, then. Follow me. Annie, grab a pail of water for the used ones." He grabbed a bag of colored sparklers and walked with the kids over to the edge of the cliff walk. 

Abbey stood on the porch sipping coffee from a styrofoam cup. The setting of the sun and the change of the tides had brought a distinct chill to the air and she had changed into faded jeans and a navy Ralph Lauren sweater with a small American flag on her chest. Over her arm she carried one of Jed's Notre Dame sweatshirts. She knew he would never go in to get it on his own, as he could never admit to being cold. She leaned against the balustrade with a soft smile on her face as she watched her husband who was, at the moment, surrounded by young children jumping up and down begging for their chance with a sparkler. His own two youngest were too young to hold the sparkler on their own so he held it with them laughing and spelling their names in the air. 

"He's in his element, isn't he?" CJ smiled. 

"Yeah, he does love being the master of ceremonies. Must be the 'Leo' in him." 

"He's a great dad. We all knew that about him since Zoey was around so much, but it's just so nice to watch him here with Nicholas and Aislinn and all those young children." 

"He loves children. He'd have been happy to have one of those old fashioned Catholic families with twelve kids. He told me once he'd like to be able to field a softball team." CJ turned a wide-eyed look of astonishment toward her and Abbey chuckled softly. "My sentiments exactly. Oh well, he can't complain too much, I gave him a basketball team instead." 

"A championship basketball team." CJ took Abbey's hand and squeezed it. "You have an amazing family, Abbey, and the President is very, very proud of it." 

"I'm pretty proud of it myself." Abbey turned back to where Jed was now helping their mentally retarded niece, Hannah, with her sparkler while Aislinn rode high up on his shoulders. Good lord, how she loved that man. 

*** 

Dusk had given way to darkness and now everyone was sprawled over blankets at the edge of the point awaiting the fireworks display. Adding to the festive atmosphere were the lanterns that were lit along the cliffs and the paths to the beach and the cottage to keep anyone from tripping. Here and there older children still twirled sparklers into the darkness and fireflies blinked and glittered through the air keeping the younger children amused. 

Jed was stretched out on the blanket and Abbey was leaning back against him nibbling on a strawberry from the top of her cake. Aislinn and Nicholas lay heavily against her, both way past their bedtime. Nicholas was sleepily sucking his thumb and stroking Max's tail. Aislinn had her leg pulled up and was trying to push her tiny pink sneaker off, all the while babbling some nonsense to herself that Abbey couldn't make out. 

"Aislinn, leave your sneakers on," Abbey told her, pushing her leg down. Aislinn whimpered and got to her knees to begin playing with Abbey's hair. "I swear, Jed, this one is going to be a stripper – either a stripper or a nudist." 

"Bite your tongue, Abigail." Jed looked over her shoulder at his sleepy eyed little girl and began to play with one of her fair curls. "Daddy's little girl is going to be a nun, aren't you, sunshine?" 

Not knowing what her father had just asked, but knowing what response he expected, she nodded her head solemnly. 

"Oh, Ashes, I'm going to have to remind you of that promise when you're fifteen." Abbey shook her head at her daughter. 

"I KNOW I will," Jed enthused. 

The loud bang and the burst of color in the sky put off any further conversation. Aislinn jumped into her mother's arms at the loud noise clutching on to her neck fiercely. 

"It's okay, sweetpea. It's just a loud noise. It isn't going to hurt you." Aislinn clutched even tighter with the next big boom and began to whimper softly. 

"Is she scared?" Jed asked. "Do you think we should bring her inside?" 

"I think she'll be okay. Aislinn, don't you want to see the pretty colors?" 

Aislinn shook her head negatively and kept her face buried into Abbey's neck. 

Nicholas crawled over Abbey and plunked himself on Jed's lap, but he was more in awe than he was frightened. Jed couldn't help but grin at his son's wide blue eyes staring at the bright-lit sky. The next bang and burst of bright green fireballs caused him to clap along with the rest of the people watching the fireworks. Aislinn turned her head slightly, and, when she saw her brother laughing on her father's lap and pointing at the sky, she looked up, for the first time seeing the bright colors. She twisted around on Abbey's lap wanting to see more and before long she was just as entranced as her brother. 

Abbey watched the brilliant display lighting the night sky and raining fireballs down over the ocean while she ran her fingers through her daughter's thin silky hair and leaned back against Jed's strong form. She felt the warmth of his hand as it unconsciously moved up and down her arm, felt his chin nuzzling into the top of her head and she wondered just how her anniversary party could get any better than this. 

By the time the riotous explosions of the finale had finished and the cheers and clapping of the crowd had died down, both Nicholas and Aislinn lay heavy and half-asleep in their parents' arms. Abbey and Jed made their way through the crowd, pausing every now and then for someone to coo over or have a look at the little cherubs now sleeping in their arms. The babies were unaware of how many kisses to the forehead that they received from grandparents, aunts, uncles and good friends of their parents. The excitement and activity of the day, along with the late hour, had taken its toll and both were out like a light. 

"What do you want to do about cleaning them up?" Jed asked, as they entered the nursery. Abbey surveyed cake frosting and berry juice smeared on both children's faces. 

"I really don't want to wake them up. We'll just deal with it as best as we can and I'll give them baths first thing in the morning. 

The two of them worked in companionable silence, changing wet diapers and sliding on clean summer PJ's, thankfully with minimal protest from the toddlers. A token resistance or whimper was all their tired little bodies could produce. 

When they finally lay semi-clean and sleeping peacefully in their cribs, their parents stood back leaning against each other to watch their offspring settle in under their covers. It was a tender moment, a quiet moment, a moment when all happened to be right with the world. It was a moment to be savored, not rushed, a moment that could be replayed time and time again in the all too frequent moments when all was NOT right with the world. Neither could know how long this would last or how soon one of those moments might be upon them again. They were always out there waiting, always ready to grab you when you least expected. 


	7. Summer Storms

"What are you doing sitting up here all alone?" Sam asked. Leo had sent him out looking for Josh and he'd finally found him on the grassy knoll overlooking the beach. He was sitting Indian style and looking rather pensive. His eyes didn't leave the beach even upon hearing Sam's approach. "What are you looking at?" Sam followed Josh's gaze to the beach below. He saw the President in his bathing suit wandering along the rocky edge of the beach where it joined the cliffs. He was lifting rocks and peering under them. But Josh's eyes were not focused on the base of the cliffs where the President was, they were staring straight ahead where the First Lady stood at the edge of a tidal pool with both her young children at her feet. The sarong that she wore wrapped around her waist had fallen open to expose a long expanse of leg as she leaned down with her palm open to show her children a starfish she had found in the water. They couldn't hear what she was saying but it was obvious that she was explaining something to the kids by the nods of their heads and the solemn eyes that were looking up at her. They watched as Abbey took each child's hand to guide it lightly over the starfish, her movements so loving and gentle. Excited giggles erupted from the children and they both smiled. 

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have that?" Josh nodded toward the Bartlets. 

"A family?" 

"A wife, kids, a life. A woman like Mrs. B." 

"Is this about you and Amy? Are you guys getting serious?" 

"No. I don't know what we're getting. I don't even know if you could refer to what we have as a relationship. I'm attracted to Amy physically. I'm attracted to her cerebrally, but I just don't know if I'm attracted to her, here." He tapped his heart with his fist. "I guess we're at that point you get to when you're dating someone and you have to decide if you want to take the next step forward, or if it's time to cut your losses and move on and I don't know which way to go. I want to have THAT. I want to feel THAT." He pointed to the President who was now tucking a strand of hair behind the First Lady's ear, his hand lingering for a long moment on her cheek, his eyes only drawn from her at the exclamation of his son who had found a hermit crab. 

"Well, do you really think that they had THAT right from the beginning?" Josh's eyes moved back to the beach where the President was dragging a laughing First Lady toward the rocks where he'd been searching for crabs. He paused, simply absorbing the joy they felt in being together. 

"Yeah, I think I do." 

Sam's eyes followed Josh's, a smile softening his face. "Me too…" 

"Sam, didn't I ask you to get Josh so we can rehearse for tonight?" Leo was coming up the knoll now. 

"I've got him. We're coming." 

"SON OF A BITCH!" The exclamation came from the beach and all heads turned that way. 

"Mama, Mama…Dadda hoot!" As fast as his chubby little legs would take him, Nicholas ran ahead of his father where his mother and Aislinn were lifting rocks. Abbey had already straightened at Jed's exclamation and was now facing him, squinting in the sun and waiting to find out what calamity had befallen him. 

"Yeah, your Dadda's a hoot all right." Her sarcastic comment drew a glare from Jed as he approached her, cradling his injured hand. "What did you do now?" she sighed. 

"I didn't do anything. I found a big crab to show Nicholas and I picked it up." 

"Mistake number one. He got you with his pinchers, didn't he?" 

"Damned sucker drew blood." He began to suck on his index finger. 

"Let me see." Abbey drew his finger out from his mouth and the blood began to well instantly in the two tiny pinch marks. 

"Dadda, hoot…" Big tears filled Aislinn's eyes at the bloody evidence of her father's injury and she snuggled up to his leg. 

"It doesn't hurt that bad, sunshine," Jed assured her, ruffling her curls. 

"It might not hurt that badly but we should put some antiseptic and a Band-Aid on it. Come on, troops, lets go back to the house." Abbey was clearly the authority on boo-boos, as the kids well knew, and everyone fell in line behind her. 

Trying to keep up with his parents, Nicholas tripped in the soft sand and fell on his face. More disgusted than hurt, he spit out the sand from his mouth. "Damn," he sputtered in almost the same exact tone his father had just used. 

Abbey and Jed stopped in their tracks and turned back to look at him. 

"Nicholas Bartlet, that is a naughty word and I don't want to hear you say it again." Abbey's pointer finger was extended toward her son. 

Nicholas gave his father a perplexed look not understanding why he wasn't being allowed to emulate the man that he adored. Jed shrugged at him sheepishly. "She's right, partner. Little boys shouldn't use that word." 

Nicholas looked back at his mother and gave her a cheeky grin. "Damn." 

"Nicholas, do I have to wash your mouth out with soap?" Abbey eyed him sternly, when it was all she could do not to laugh at the impish look on his face. 

"Damn." Nicholas said the word and turned to race away from her. He squealed with glee when he saw his mother give chase. 

"That's it. I'm going to get you and when I do I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap!" Abbey chased the laughing toddler down the beach, careful not to run too fast and catch him. She was enjoying horsing around as much as her son was. Jed stood with Aislinn on his hip, his wonderfully distinct deep belly laugh joining in with his tiny daughter's giggles. 

Back on the grassy knoll, three men watched the family frolic below. 

"THAT," Josh said softly. 

"THAT," Sam nodded in agreement. 

**** 

As much as Abbey loved the sea, she despised how she felt coming inside after a day spent on the beach. There was a layer of griminess on her skin thanks to the liberally applied sunscreen and the sand that clung to it. Her hair was dry and sticky thanks to the salt water, and all she could think about was cleansing herself in nice fresh water. She pinned her hair up and slid with a sigh into the silky bath water she had scented with a rose milk bath. Her eyes closed almost immediately, her thoughts turning to the small intimate anniversary party the caterers were on the lawn preparing for. She wondered what song Jed had chosen to sing for her, feeling almost as giddy as she had the day she had bathed in preparation of her wedding. She started to doze off her mind fast- forwarding to what was going to happen after the party – to what Jed might have planned. She remembered last year's party, being tipsy on champagne, and how Jed had pulled the mattress off the bed so they could do whatever they wanted without the bed squeaking and alerting the entire house of what they were up to. 

Jed had quietly entered the bathroom and stopped in his tracks upon seeing his wife relaxing back in her bubble bath. Her copper hair was piled up on her head; the bubbles drifting over her breasts allowing him a tantalizing glimpse of a rosy tipped nipple every time she breathed. He watched a sly, half smile curve on her lips, watched her hands run sensuously up and down her arms. 

"Abbey?" He sat on the edge of the tub. "You're not falling asleep, are you, my little mermaid?" 

"Mmmm…." she murmured sleepily and arched her back. 

Jed swallowed tightly as the bubbles fell away from her breasts. Unable to help himself, his hand moved to slide over the silky smoothness of one of the tantalizing swells enjoying the contrast of the pale skin of her breast and its rosy pink tip. Strawberries and cream – a feast fit for a king or at the very least a President. "You're so perfect, Abbey. So damn perfect." 

"Don't say damn," she admonished him with a lazy smile. 

He grinned and continued to caress her breast with soft slow strokes, making her arch further into him. "What were you thinking about?" he asked. 

"When?" 

"Just now. You had this really sexy smile on your face." 

"I was remembering last year when we had to pull the mattress off the bed so we could make love without your mother hearing us." 

"I knew you were thinking about sex." He leaned over the tub, his lips mere inches from hers. 

"You did, did you? And how did you know that?" She tilted her head up to kiss the tip of his chin. 

"Because you were running your hands up and down your arms just the way that I do to you, and you had goosebumps, just like when I do it to you." The scent of roses enveloped him as his lips covered hers. She smelled so good, so feminine and she was so soft. His hand began to move from her breast down her belly but before he could reach his ultimate destination Abbey pulled her head back. 

"Jed, we don't have time for this." The words were bitten out reluctantly; her body was on fire and aching for him to touch her everywhere. 

"I won't take long," he promised, with a boyish look of hope on his face. 

"That isn't exactly a compelling argument. Really, Jed, I still have to shampoo my hair and dress the kids and you still need to shower. Our guests will be here before we know it." 

"Okay," Jed sighed with rejection. 

"Well, you could shampoo my hair for me if you like. I'll make it worth your while later tonight." 

"NOW you're talking." He pulled the clip out of Abbey's hair and took the shower nozzle from where it was hanging to begin wetting her hair. Abbey couldn't help the soft release of breath at the pleasure the warm water brought her. Jed's strong fingers massaging the shampoo into her scalp caused her to groan aloud with pleasure and Jed began to wonder if this was such a good idea. His body, already half aroused, was beginning to get carried away with her response to the pleasure of his massaging fingertips. By the time her hair was washed and conditioned, he was rock hard and in dire need of either release or a cold shower. He decided to give release one last try. He finished rinsing Abbey's hair with the shower nozzle then rinsed the last of the bubbles from her breasts before moving lower and lower. When Abbey felt the nozzle slide between her thighs and the pulsing soft jet of water against her core, her eyes sprang open and she jumped. 

"Jeeeedddd…" It was a groan of pure aching need. 

"Just lay back and enjoy. Let me do this for you." He pressed a kiss to her temple watching her hips writhing in the pleasure of the water jet. There was no way that Abbey could say no; already the soft waves of pleasure were beginning to take her over. 

"Yes, Jed…Yes…" 

**** 

Humming softly, her cheeks still a little flushed from her earlier physical encounter in the bathtub, Abbey sat at her vanity applying make up and spritzing herself with perfume. Jed was in the shower, a cold shower she presumed. She felt a little guilty about that, but they'd just simply run out of time, and, after all, he had started the whole thing. Still, it was early yet; she had all night to make good on her promise to make things worth her husband's while. 

Jed came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another he was using to vigorously rub his wet hair. 

"Feeling better, dear?" she asked, clipping a diamond tennis bracelet on her wrist. 

Jed looked up, his jaw dropping open. Abbey stood before him wearing a long gauzy white skirt with a slit up the side that went well beyond mid-thigh. The matching gauzy top was of a halter style attaching on each hip with a silver ring and leaving her midriff bare. Little threads of metallic silver were entwined throughout the fabric giving it a glittering, sparkly look. She was drop dead gorgeous. "I was, that is, until I saw you in that get up. Christ, Abbey, I'm gonna be hard all night watching you walk around dressed like that." 

"Good, that's the desired effect. Now, get dressed. We have a party to attend." 

**** 

As it turned out, the First Couple was not the first to arrive at the party. In fact, music was playing and most of their guests had arrived by the time Jed and Abbey made their way down the porch stairs. 

"Holy mother of GOD, when the hell did she get her belly button pierced?!" Bruno had just arrived from the West Coast where he was setting up the Democratic National Convention and couldn't believe his eyes. This was certainly not the carefully cultivated image of the professional, now stay at home mom, that they were supposed to be playing up. This, well, THIS Abbey Bartlet was a sexy siren, an absolute knock out and she certainly didn't look like anybody's mother. 

"She got her belly button pierced?" Sam's eyebrow lifted with surprise. Abbey hadn't worn a bikini during their entire stay; something they all figured was due to Leo. Now he turned to Leo. "When did she do that?" 

Leo's eyes were riveted to Abbey's flat midriff in the sexy, flattering halter, his eyes glued to the small loop in her navel. His mouth fell open slightly and he wasn't sure he could speak at the moment. He could not take his eyes off the erotic vision that she made. At Leo's lack of response, both CJ and Josh turned to look at him as well. Jordan dug her elbow lightly into his ribs. "Huh…what?" For an intelligent man he was having a hard time putting two words together. 

"Sam asked if you knew when Abbey got her belly button pierced. Evidently this is something new?" 

"I don't know when," Leo growled. "I'm not the First Lady's keeper." He turned abruptly and walked toward the cliffs. He was staring out to sea when Jordan quietly joined him. 

"Leo?" 

"I'm sorry, Jordan. I didn't mean to bite your head off. I'm just so damn pissed." 

"At who? Are you mad that Abbey got her navel pierced?" 

"No, I'm pissed at my body's response to it – to her. Dammit, why, Jordan, why can't I stop feeling this way about her?!" It was an anguished cry from the heart and Jordan's eyes widened with shock. Leo was such a contained person. It was strange to witness such an outburst from him. 

"Leo, I would bet most of the men here, seeing the First Lady looking as she does right now, are probably feeling the same way. You'd have to be blind not to be affected." 

"A stab of lust is different from what I feel for her. An appreciation for a sexy woman is different from what I feel for her." He turned from Jordan to look at the sea; his mind a jumble of aching wants. I want to be the one who has the right to lead her around by the small of her back. I want to know what it would be like to watch her mother MY child the way that she does Jed's. I want to know what it would be like to share pillow talk with her and sleep with her in my arms all night. I want to know what she looks like in the throes of passion. I want… 

"Leo…" Jordan rubbed his shoulder. Leo turned to her with a reddened face thankful that he had not listed his wants aloud. 

"I'm sorry. I'm not very good company, am I?" 

"Leo, I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't pretend to be, but the way I see it is that you've been attracted to and infatuated by Abbey for years. When your marriage fell apart you started second-guessing every moment of that marriage. I know I've been there and done that. You started putting Abbey on this pedestal thinking that if only you'd been married to her things would have been different. What you want is a second chance, Leo, and you will never get that chance with Abbey." 

"You think I'm blind? I know I'll never get that chance with her. Abbey's a one-man woman and that man is Jed Bartlet. But that doesn't stop me from wondering what it would be like if she were my woman." 

Jordan nodded sadly. "Wondering is okay, Leo. It's the obsessing that is getting you into trouble. You need to let Abbey go. When you do, look me up." 

Leo watched her walk away back to the party, mentally kicking himself. Jordan was a better fit for him in every way than Abbey was. She wouldn't expect to own a man's heart and soul the way that Abbey did with Jed. She would understand that his job was his 'wife' and that she would always be his mistress, something Abbey would never have gone for in her marriage. She was perfect for him. Now if he could only get his heart and his body to fall in line with his mind, everything could fall into place. 

**** 

While his parents danced on the small makeshift dance floor, Nicholas Bartlet furtively made his way to the long table that held a huge four-tiered cake the adults around him seemed to be ignoring. His mother had told him that he could have a piece after he ate supper but his patience was starting to wear thin, and there was so much of it, after all. Sneaking away from his elder sisters had been relatively easy and now he was just a mere few inches from his desired destination. His mouth watered as he reached a pudgy little finger out to swipe along the side of the cake. 

"Nicholas Josiah Bartlet!" Nicholas cringed and put his frosting laden finger into his mouth to hide the evidence. The use of his full three names and the exasperated tone always meant trouble when it came to his mama. He had a feeling the same would be so with his grandmother O'Neill. 

Her grandson looked up at Beth with guileless blue eyes. She didn't envy her daughter having to discipline this little cutie. "I distinctly heard your mother tell you that you couldn't have any cake until after you ate your supper. Now, you come with me. It won't be long until your mama and daddy cut that cake." 

CJ smiled with amusement at the scowl on young Nicky's face as his grandmother dragged him away from the cake table. It was the same look his father had when his mother placed a plateful of vegetables in front of him. She leaned back against an old pine tree at the edge of the dance floor, dipping her icy cold shrimp into cocktail sauce. Her eyes began to follow Aislinn as she toddled out on to the dance floor in her mint green and pink striped seersucker sundress and white sandals. Her blond curls were pulled into two one-inch little ponytails on each side of her head. Aislinn made her way to her parents and began tugging at their clothes legs until they noticed her. Both looked down at the same moment and she lifted her arms to them urging them with an "Up, up". The President grinned at her and lifted her onto his hip. The First Lady placed an arm around her daughter and the other around her husband's waist and the three of them began to sway to the strains of _Can You Feel the Love_. How apropos, CJ thought. She really COULD feel the love tonight. The love between the First Couple just seemed to spill over onto everyone who surrounded them; it was impossible not to feel it. So caught up was she, it was a long time before she noticed Bruno had come up to stand beside her. Despite being the campaign manager, he had not been around the First Couple in a casual atmosphere very often. 

"You don't have to coach them on this stuff, do you?" 

"Coach them?" 

"You know, try to get them to be more affectionate in front of the press." 

"Hardly. When it comes to each other, they don't put on brave faces well at all. When they're angry with each other, we ALL know they're angry and everyone can feel the tension. And when they're like this," she gestured toward the dance floor, where both the President and First Lady were pressing kisses into their daughter's rosy cheeks. "Well, it makes everyone want to be in love like that. It makes me feel kind of guilty sometimes, watching them like they are tonight – at least when it comes to Mrs. Bartlet." 

"Guilty?" Bruno frowned. "Why guilty?" 

"Because we, and when I say that I mean, we, the entire staff, are so often at odds with her. We get frustrated and angry when she wants to cut back on the President's speaking engagements or cut a trip short because he's rundown or has a cold, and most of the time she gets the blame. But, when I watch them like this, I can see just what she's fighting for. That's her man out there. At times all we see is the President and what we can get out of him. He's our workhorse. But he isn't ever just the President to her. She ALWAYS sees the man. Even when she looks at the President, she has to be seeing the man that she dated, the man that she married, the man who fathered her children, the man who takes care of her when she's sick, the man who knows all her innermost secrets. I don't blame her for wanting to kill us at times. She's fighting for HIM." 

"Are you trying to warn me against scheduling the President too heavily?" Cynical to the core, Bruno did not looked moved by her heartfelt words. 

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't take Mrs. Bartlet lightly. She loves her husband and she loves her family. She'll give you everything SHE has in order to keep him in office, but she won't give you her husband's health or his soul." 

"We'll just see about that." Bruno popped a shrimp in his mouth and walked toward the bar. 

"CJ, are you ready?" Zoey asked. "We're about to start the show." 


	8. Summer Storms

"Welcome, everyone." CJ stood on the small stage facing the seated crowd. "Tonight we are all here to celebrate the union of a very special couple, The President of the United States and the First Lady, or as they are known to most of you, Jed and Abbey Bartlet. To that end we will be paying tribute to them in song. Some may be sentimental and some may be silly but all will come straight from the heart. So, without further ado, let me introduce Mrs. Elizabeth O'Neill. 

"Go Gramma!" The trio of Bartlet granddaughters cheered. Beth grinned their way, then stepped up to the microphone. 

"Rest assured, I am not going to sing a song. I was asked to come up here tonight to tell you about my daughter, Abigail. Now, my little Abigail was a sweet, soft spoken, quiet, ladylike child…wait a minute, CJ, did you write this as a press release?" Beth turned to CJ, who shrugged, and the crowd burst into laughter. "Those of you who know my Abigail, know that those words don't always apply to her. She is as sassy as she is sweet, as outspoken as she is soft spoken, as vocal as she is quiet and…I guess I'll keep my mouth shut about ladylike since she IS supposed to be the First Lady." 

Abbey elbowed Jed at his burst of laughter. 

"But what I'm really here to tell you about is the crush that she had on a certain mop topped young man. She mooned over this man, loved to listen to his voice, and for the longest time I thought I was going to be the mother-in-law of somebody really famous. No, I am not talking about the shaggy haired young man who became famous when he was elected President. Long before she wanted to hold Josiah Bartlet's hand, my daughter longed for the day she would hold Paul McCartney's." 

Everyone laughed again as the music of the Beatles' _I Want to Hold Your Hand_ played lightly in the background. Abbey laughed good-naturedly with the crowd and watched as Jon Bartlet took the stage next to her mother. 

"As Jed's brother I can tell you that he had every intention of becoming a priest when he left for Notre Dame. But, something happened to him that he could never have planned on. He met a beautiful, feisty young woman named Abigail O'Neill, and the rest, as they say, is history. Ladies and Gentlemen, here to give you their rendition of Jed's side to the night that he met Abbey – THE BEATLES!" 

Cheers erupted as Jon joined Doug, Sally and Jane, complete with mop top wigs, as they took to the stage. 

> _"Well, she was just 19._ (they shouted over the 16 in the lyrics) __  
> You know what I mean.  
>  And the way she looked was way beyond compare…   
> So how could I dance with another?   
> And I saw her standing there.   
> Well, she looked at me, and, I, I could see.   
> That before too long I'd fall in love with her.   
> She wouldn't dance with another.   
> And I saw her standing there.   
> Well, my heart went boom,   
> When I crossed that room,   
> And I held her hand in mine.   
> Whoa, we danced through the night.   
> And we held each other tight.   
> And before too long I fell in love with her.   
> Now I'll never dance with another,   
> Since I saw her standing there.

Jed's laughter and nodding head made it quite evident that he agreed with every word the foursome had been singing. 

Next to take the stage were Leo and Millie. 

"As Jed's and Abbey's best friends we can tell you that the year they dated before they were married was one of complete and utter angst," Leo began. 

"Never had two people yearned to spend every moment of their day – and their nights –" Millie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "together, the way that they did. Never did two people look forward to the day that they would be able to spend the rest of their lives together quite the way that they did. In fact the Beach Boys wrote a song about it. Ladies and Gentlemen – THE BEACH BOYS!" 

Millie blew a kiss to Jed and Abbey, who were holding hands and grinning, as they watched Toby, Charlie, Josh, and Sam join Leo to take the stage all wearing Hawaiian print shirts and Bermuda shorts. Both tossed their heads back with laughter at the beginning strains of the song they knew so well. 

> _"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?_  
>  Then we wouldn't have to wait so long.   
> And wouldn't it be nice to live together?   
> In the kind of world where we belong.   
>    
> You know it's gonna make it that much better.   
> When we can say goodnight and stay together.   
>    
> Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up?   
> In the morning when the day is new.   
> And after having spent the day together,   
> Hold each other close the whole night through.   
>    
> Happy times together we've be spending.   
> I wish that every kiss was never ending.   
> Wouldn't it be nice?   
>    
> Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true.   
> Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do.   
> We could be married,   
> And then we'd be happy   
>    
> Wouldn't it be nice?   
>    
> You know it seems the more we talk about it.   
> It only makes it worse to live without it.   
> But let's talk about it.   
> Wouldn't it be nice?   
>    
> Goodnight my baby.   
> Sleep tight my baby.

Jed squeezed Abbey's hand tightly seeing the emotions playing over her expressive face. She turned toward him as the final strains of the music played, remembering exactly how hard it had been to go back to her dorm room every night when all she longed for was to lay in Jed's arms the whole night through. Jed smiled softly down into her face with the acknowledgement of those feelings. It was just as easy for him to remember how it had felt to long so badly for the day that he would live with Abbey forever and share his life with her and just how painful it was to wait and wonder if it would ever really happen. 

"Now, as one of the people who was 'in' on the Jed and Abbey relationship right from the start, I am a star witness about that summer, and later the semester, that they spent apart before they were married. As Abbey's sister, I can tell you she spent that summer moping around with a long face and a lot of melancholic sighs. It did, in fact, it did get pretty darn annoying at times. You can just ask our mailman about that. The poor man was accosted nearly every day because Abbey rarely let him even make it to our mailbox. She would rush out hoping with baited breath that it might be a letter from Jed, postmarked Arizona. And when there was a letter, which was nearly every day it seemed, she would sit in her bedroom and re-read it eighteen million times a day." In the background _Mr. Postman_ played softly and Jane grinned down at her sister as she held a letter to her chest and, with a sappy love struck look on her face, sang along with one line, "Hey Mr. Postman look and see. Is there a letter, a letter for me…" 

Abbey stuck her tongue out at Jane, who reciprocated much as they had when they were children, before she continued on. "As you all probably know by now, Abbey gave up going straight to medical school so that she could follow Jed to London. Having known what it was like to be apart from him, she wasn't going to spend more than a year separated. Later, after they had been married for a while and had three children, Jed was elected to Congress. While most couples may have turned to living separate lives at this time, that is not what happened to the couple we honor tonight. No matter how tired or how busy they were, they would work their schedules so that one or the other would make the flight to be together on the weekends. Sometimes if the flights didn't work out, they would meet part way for just a night or a weekend in New York or Baltimore. Later still, those of you who campaigned with them found out exactly to what lengths they will go to keep from being separated for any length of time, because what we all know now is that when it comes to my sister and brother-in-law there _Ain't No Mountain High Enough_. Ladies and Gentlemen – DIANA ROSS AND THE SUPREMES!" 

Abbey and Jed moved from being very touched by Jane's monologue to laughter as they saw CJ take center stage, complete with a boa, slinky dress and teased big hair, followed by all their daughters in similar outfits. 

"Where the hell did they find those getups?" Jed leaned down to whisper to Abbey. 

"Ssh…" 

The music started and the girls began a synchronized dance routine they had obviously rehearsed. CJ was evidently Diana Ross, as she grabbed the mike and began to perform an animated version of the song, much as they had seen when she did _The Jackal_. 

> _"Listen, baby_  
>  Ain't no mountain high   
> Ain't no valley low   
> Ain't no river wide enough, baby   
> If you need me, call me   
> No matter where you are   
> No matter how far   
> Just call my name   
> I'll be there in a hurry   
> You don't have to worry   
>    
> 'Cause baby,   
> There ain't no mountain high enough   
> Ain't no valley low enough   
> Ain't no river wide enough   
> To keep me from getting to you   
>    
> Remember the day   
> I set you free   
> I told you   
> You could always count on me   
> From that day on   
> I made a vow   
> I'll be there when you want me   
> Some way, somehow.   
>    
> 'Cause baby,   
> There ain't no mountain high enough   
> Ain't no valley low enough   
> Ain't no river wide enough   
> To keep me from getting to you.   
> No wind, no rain   
> My love is alive   
> Way down in my heart   
> Although we are miles apart   
> If you ever need a helping hand   
> I'll be there on the double   
> As fast as I can   
>    
> Don't you know that   
> There ain't no mountain high enough   
> Ain't no valley low enough   
> Ain't no river wide enough   
> To keep me from getting to you.

As the foursome bowed and the clapping died down, Jed rose to his feet. 

"Where are you going?" Abbey asked. Her neck immediately began to crane to see if he was being taken away for national security reasons, but Leo was still seated. 

"It's my turn to perform, babe. I'm gonna knock your socks off." He winked at her and turned to leave. 

There was a brief pause in the show while Jed presumably changed. Abbey was enjoying herself listening to Josh, Sam, Toby and Charlie putting on an impromptu barbershop quartet to kill time when she heard Jed's voice over the sound system. 

"Well, Abbey," 

She turned to the stage but didn't see him – anywhere. 

"I know that your adolescent heart was stolen by Mr. Paul McCartney, who, by the way, I'm going to make sure you never get the chance to meet." The guests snickered at the purely possessive typical Jed statement. "And since you had to settle for me, I'll do my best to strut my stuff for you." 

As the first bars of big band style music started, Jed stepped out onstage in his white tie and tails. He knew it was a look Abbey found utterly irresistible on him. His formerly shaggy hair was combed back for the more dashingly elegant look of the old style crooners and he grabbed the microphone with style and panache as he began to sing in his wonderfully deep, surprisingly on-key baritone. 

>   
>  __
> 
> "L is for the way you look at me   
> O is for the only one I see.   
> V is very, very, extraordinary   
> E is even more than anyone that you adore   
> And love, is all that I can give to you.   
> Love, is more than just a game for two.   
> Two in love can make it,   
> Take my heart and please don't break it.   
> Love, was made for me and you."

He reached the edge of the stage and plucked a single red rose from a vase. He took a few jaunty steps down the stage stairs to make his way to Abbey, bending gallantly to offer her the rose. She accepted the flower, smiling softly as he stood to continue singing to her. 

>   
>  __
> 
> "L is for the way you look at me.   
> O is for the only one I see.   
> V is very, very, extraordinary.   
> E is even more than anyone that you adore…"

He bowed to her as the music came to an end and Abbey got to her feet, still holding her rose, and stood before him. She ran a hand lightly over his cheek and, not caring about the assembled crowd, she kissed him softly on the lips. She smiled at the clapping that arose from the kiss and leaned back to wipe her thumb over his bottom lip to remove her smudged pink lipstick. 

"How'd I do?" he asked. 

"Frank Sinatra ain't got nothin' on you, babe." 

"As good as Paul McCartney?" 

"Weeellll…" Her vacillating earned her a pinch on the rear. "Okay, okay, I'll say better. Paul McCartney was okay when I was kid, but Jed Bartlet aged better." 

"That's what I want to hear. Uh, I believe that Annie is urgently trying to get your attention." 

Abbey turned to see the young girl motioning her to the stage. 

"Oh, yeah, it's my turn to perform. You're gonna be a tough act to follow." 

"Right." Jed rolled his eyes sarcastically. He knew his wife's beautiful voice and her performing capabilities and he was quite certain that when the party was over, it was Abbey's performance that would be remembered. 

Abbey took the stage in her sexy halter dress, the rose now tucked behind her ear. She was elegant enough to be an old fashioned torch singer and sexy enough to be a pop princess. She took the microphone and began to pace on the stage. "When I was thinking of what song to do tonight my mind went right to the old classics, songs like _Unforgettable_. Then my lovely granddaughter came to me with a song from her new CD and we agreed that it would be perfect for the occasion. Besides, I know my husband and, although you love the classics, Josiah dear, to quote Annie, this one makes me swing my hips." 

Jed gave her a broad grin and a thumbs up as the upbeat tempo to the song began and Abbey began to hum with it. 

>   
>  __
> 
> "In your arms.   
> I can still feel the way you want me when you hold me.   
> I can still hear the words you whispered when you told me.   
> I could stay right here forever in your arms.   
>    
> And there ain't no way––   
> I'm letting' you go now.   
> And there ain't no way––-   
> And there ain't no how.   
> Never see that day––   
>    
> "Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always.   
> We will be together all of our days.   
> Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face –– always.   
> In your heart.   
> I can still hear a beat for every time you kiss me.   
> And when we're apart I know how much you miss me.   
> I can feel your love for me in your heart.

While she sang the chorus Abbey danced and made her way down to Jed just as he had to her, only, much to his and everyone's surprise, she sat right on his lap and continued to sing to him, stroking his cheek and running her fingers through his hair. 

> _"In your eyes_  
>  I can still see the look of the one who really loves me.   
> The one who wouldn't put anything else in the world above me.   
> I can still see love for me in your eyes. 
> 
> And there ain't no way––   
> I'm letting you go now.   
> And there ain't no way––   
> And there ain't no how.   
> I'll never see that day–– 
> 
> 'Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always.   
> We will be together all of our days.   
> Wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face––always."

"I've never particularly thought of my face as sweet." Jed murmured as the song came to an end. 

"Oh, it's sweet all right. It's sweet and it's damn fine." 

"We're not supposed to say 'damn' remember?" His lips were just centimeters from hers. 

"Just give me a damn kiss." 

"And you thought he took after me." This time when the two kissed it was deeper and more highly charged – a kiss that drew wolf whistles and cheers rather than clapping. 

"You wanna blow this pop stand?" he asked suggestively. 

"Jed, we can't leave," Abbey laughed. "We're the guests of honor." 

"I guess that might be a little conspicuous," he admitted. 

"You think?" 

**** 

After an amazingly beautiful rendition of _Air That I Breathe_ by Annie, who obviously took after Abbey in the vocals department, the formal part of the party was over. Jordan milled through the crowd wondering what had happened to Leo. She saw the First Lady had returned from putting her two young children to bed and was now piling slices of chocolate coconut cake onto small paper plates. 

"Do you have any idea of where Leo might have gone?" she asked her. "He seems to have disappeared." 

"Get used to it." Abbey licked a fleck of coconut frosting from her finger. "That happens a lot in this line of work. I'm surprised it only happened once tonight. He and Jed got called away before I went to put the kids down. They should be back soon, provided it's not some major crisis." There was something in her eyes that convinced Jordan that she wasn't quite as accommodating as she seemed. 

"Have you gotten used to it?" 

"No." 

Jordan smiled at the First Lady's frank honesty. "I've had a really good time this weekend. Thank you for inviting me." 

"I was glad to have the opportunity to meet you. For you to meet me – us – and…" 

"Don't go holding back on me now. You wanted me to meet you and the President. You wanted me to see that Leo's infatuation is a one way thing." 

"Yeah," Abbey said with relief. "This is a very awkward situation and a very awkward conversation." 

"Don't worry. It's very obvious to me that what Leo said is true. You only have eyes for the President." 

Abbey nodded, her face softening. "Jed is still the only man who has ever made my pulse race and my heart beat faster. All these years and he's still the only one." Abbey looked into the other woman's eyes and shook her head, mentally clearing her sentimental thoughts. "Listen to me going on and on about my husband when my mother and mother-in-law are waiting for their cake. I better go." 

Jordan watched her walk away, wondering at the sentiment just expressed – wondering at the magic of being married for as many years as the First Couple had been, but still having that kind of magic and intensity in both the emotional and the physical side of their relationship. "Abbey –" she called out to the First Lady's back. It was still hard to get used to using her first name, but Abbey had insisted on it, at least while they were here. 

"Yes?" Abbey turned back around. 

"It's very apparent that he feels the same about you." 

Abbey nodded with a smile. "Thanks." 

**** 

Leo and Jed made their way back to the party, pausing at the edge of the dance floor to scan the crowd. Jed's eyes fell on Jordan. She was standing by herself sipping from a glass of champagne. He noticed that Leo's eyes had found her as well. 

"Go ask her to dance." Jed nudged Leo with his elbow. 

"What?" 

"It's a nice full moon, don't waste it. A man needs a woman, Leo. It's just the way we're made. Go to her." 

He watched Leo cross the floor to take Jordan's hand, and, grinning broadly he turned to find his own woman. 

After passing out cake to her and Jed's parents, Abbey turned back to where the party was starting to break up. She smiled as she saw Leo dancing with Jordan, hoping that something between them would ignite. Her eyes then began searching for her errant husband. She found him, thanks to the bright glow of the moon, standing at the edge of the cliffs facing out to the sea. She approached him quietly from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist and cupping her hands over his crotch. 

"I thought you said you were going to stay hard for me all night," she breathed against the side of his neck. A shudder passed through Jed's body as he felt her warm, wet tongue slide across the back of his neck. 

"Aaabeeeyy –" he groaned, his hips thrusting involuntarily into her cupped hands. 

"Ahhh," she purred, feeling him burgeoning under her touch. "There it is again." 

"Does this mean you're ready to leave?" 

"Well, I'm certainly not planning on doing this here." She turned to head toward the cottage but Jed grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the small path that led down the cliffs to the beach. 

"Let's walk on the beach first." 

"Okay…" It was said hesitantly. Abbey wasn't quite sure what her husband was up to. It certainly was not like him to pass up sex it in favor of walking on the beach. 

**** 

Walking along the top of the cliffs, on their way back to the guest cottage, Leo and Jordan paused to watch the couple below. Illuminated in the glow of the moonlight, Abbey and Jed strolled along barefoot at the edge of the water. They walked side by side, arms wrapped around each other's waist with Abbey's head laying on Jed's shoulder. 

"You okay?" Jordan asked, rubbing Leo's arm. She hated the wistful, longing look that always took over his features when he watched Abbey. 

"Not at the moment, but I will be. Dance with me?" He held a hand out. 

"Leo, the music stopped." 

"Who needs music?" He pulled her toward him and began to gently sway her to the music only he could hear. For one moment, he was holding Abbey and dancing with her under the stars. For one moment, he knew what it was like to have her willing and pliant in his arms. But, as his hands moved up and down the back of the woman he held to his body and he tried to tuck her head against his chest, something was wrong. This woman's head did not fit under his chin, instead she was tall enough to look him right in the eye. This woman was not small and softly curved, she was bigger boned and strong. This woman was not Abbey Bartlet, and suddenly it clicked inside him that it wasn't wrong at all. That maybe for the first time in a long time something was actually right. He leaned forward to cover Jordan's lips with his and felt her begin to respond. It was the first time he had kissed her since the debacle on New Year's Eve when he had groaned out Abbey's name. 

Jordan had also not forgotten that painful night. She couldn't do it again. She couldn't be a substitute for Abbey Bartlet. If Leo was going to kiss her, it had to be HER. She reluctantly pulled back looking him straight in the eye. 

"Say my name, Leo." 

"What?" 

"Say my name. I need to know who you were kissing just now." 

"Jordan," he said, touching her cheek softly. It was a small step, a baby step, but at least it was a step in the right direction. A part of him would always love Abbey, that was something he was slowly coming to accept. But, in accepting that, he had also come to realize that there was more room in his heart than he had ever thought possible, maybe even room for a bossy lawyer who physically did not resemble Abbey in the least. 

**** 

Abbey felt the contrast of Jed's warm body against her, while the cold ocean licked at their toes. The glittering full moon leant everything a magical glow of light and shadow. They spoke softly, reminiscing about all the feelings that hearing those songs tonight had created within them. Before long they had reached the end of the sandy beach and were confronted by a wall of huge rocks. Abbey stopped and started to turn back but Jed continued to propel her forward. 

"Aren't we going back?" she asked. 

"Nope." He led her through a break in the rocks that led to the sheltered cove. As she came around the corner of the wall, Abbey's breath caught in her throat. There laying on the sand was an elegantly laid out picnic blanket. On the blanket was a wicker picnic hamper with two champagne flutes sitting on top and a bottle of champagne on ice. Next to the blanket was a small campfire waiting to be lit. 

"Jed, what is all this?" 

"Our own private, romantic anniversary party." 

Abbey eyed the picnic basket while Jed squatted to light the small fire. "Jed, I could not eat another bite of food. I'm stuffed." 

"Don't worry about it." He stood and placed his hands on her hips. "I've planned an evening of rigorous physical exertion. I'll help you work up an appetite." He bent to press a kiss to her collarbone. 

"I'm not going to mess around with you HERE. We aren't going to do this OUTSIDE." 

"Wanna bet?" 

Abbey shivered at the devilish glint in his eye. 


	9. Summer Storms

Jed leaned back to hit the play button on the boom box that sat on a rock near the picnic blanket, then straightened back up to keep Abbey from fleeing from his arms. 

"We're just going to dance, right?" She eyed the rolled up sleeping bag apprehensively. 

"For now." His lips began to trail along her neck. 

"Jed, I mean it. I'm not going to be on exhibition again. I…" 

"Abbey, ssh…just dance with me, sweetheart." He pulled her in close, tucking her head under his chin and singing along with Elton John. 

> _"There was a time. I was everything and nothing all in one_  
>  When you found me. I was feeling like a cloud across the sun.   
> I need to tell you, how you light up every second of the day.   
> But in the moonlight, you just shine like a beacon on the bay. 
> 
> And I can't explain. But there's something about the way you look tonight,   
> Takes my breath away––It's that feeling I get about you deep inside.   
> And I can't describe. But there's something about the way you look tonight.   
> Takes my breath away.   
> The way you look tonight."

His breath was warm against her ear and his hands began to trace patterns up her bare spine. Abbey could feel herself yielding to the power of her attraction for him. Her cheek lay against the strength and warmth of his chest and she swayed gently in his arms, bathed in the glow of the moon, with the music and the soothing surf playing in the background. The soft sand was cool between the toes of her bare feet and the heavy scent of the ocean surrounded them. Her senses overwhelmed, she had to wonder if they'd ever shared a more perfectly romantic moment. They had, but it didn't make this one any less special. 

"Abbey?" he whispered the plea for invitation into her hair. She pulled back from him slightly to gaze up into his face, smiling as she saw the lock of bronze hair that now fell across his forehead and the flames of desire that burned in his sapphire eyes. 

God, that smile, Jed thought, as he stared intently down into her upturned face. How he loved her smile. He loved the cute little wrinkle in her nose and the dimple in cheek, but more than that, he loved that when she smiled it went all the way to her gorgeous moss green eyes alighting them with warmth. He'd fallen in love with that smile when he was twenty-one years old, and despite the tiny little laugh lines at the corners of her eyes that hadn't been there when they'd first met, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him and she always would be. He felt her hand reach out behind his neck to pull his head down to her, accepting his invitation. He leaned forward and met her mouth with his, brushing his lips softly over hers back and forth again and again. When Abbey did finally capture his lips for deep, tongue tangling, toe curling kiss, she tasted champagne and coconut and Jed. A taste more tantalizing than anything she'd experienced that night. 

Abbey was lost, lost in the intoxicating romance of the night, lost in the flames of desire that Jed was creating with his lips and his hands that were now gently caressing her bare back. She felt those hands move from her spine to her rear, cupping her and pulling her up against the hard proof of his desire. The wave of hunger for him that caused her legs to weaken was like a splash of cold water on her face. She wasn't going to do this again, not this year. She reluctantly pulled back and looked up at him, her green eyes slumberous with desire, her mouth swollen from his kisses. It was all Jed could do not to pull her down onto the blanket and make love to her right then and there. 

"Let's go back to the cottage, Jed." Her voice was breathless, urgent. "I can't do this here, not outside, not again. We can't put on another free show." 

Jed was amused by the fluster in his usually unflappable wife. "Yes, we can." He began to trace his thumb over her full bottom lip. "Trust me, Abbey. You trusted me when you were only nineteen. You can trust me now." 

"Jed…" she trailed off as his lips began to move along her jaw to her throat. 

He finally relented in his teasing. "I talked to Ron. Nobody is going to be behind those rocks watching us. I have his word. We have complete privacy." 

"He agreed to that?" Abbey groaned as she felt him begin to suck on the skin of her collarbone. 

"As long as I have my panic button within reach and we don't go in the water. No skinny dipping, my little mermaid." 

"I can live with that." She cast her eyes over Jed's shoulder to the mound of rocks that surrounded them, hoping that the agents would heed Ron's orders, hoping that she wasn't going to be the adult entertainment of the evening for a second year running. But, in the next moment she was beyond caring anymore. Jed's lips had made their way back up to hers again, this time more fiercely, the only kisses that had ever turned her inside out, and, if there were agents lurking in the rocks, she simply did not want to know. 

Abbey made a soft sound low in her throat and Jed felt her legs part slightly as she tried to line herself up with the bulge in his pants. It was his cue to move forward. His hand moved up over her ribcage and cupped gently over her breast. Abbey leaned into him with a sigh and he began to stroke her nipple over the gauzy fabric of her dress. He still remembered the first time she had allowed him to touch her there. How nervous he had been, how clumsy, how lacking in the finesse that he now had. By now he knew her breasts as well as, if not better than, she did. He knew when to be gentle, when to be fierce. He knew exactly how she liked to be touched and just how long. He knew that when her breath began to catch in her throat and she was pressing hard against him that it was time for the next step in this, their dance of love. He bent his head and took her nipple into his mouth, fabric and all. The erotic sensation of the heat of his mouth and the roughness of the wet fabric over her taut nipple nearly did Abbey in. The stab of desire moved right to that pulsing spot between her thighs and her legs began to weaken. Jed felt her weaken and they both began to slide down to their knees. Abbey started to lay back in the sand but he stopped her. 

"No, wait…that's why I brought…the blanket." 

A knowing, sexy smile crossed her lips as she scooted back onto the blanket. They had learned the hard way, a long time ago, that having sex in the sand was more messy and painful than it was romantic. It didn't take long for them to divest of each other's clothing. They lay on the blanket kissing, feeling the night air caressing their naked bodies, just as they caressed each other. Abbey's hand was circled around Jed's penis stroking up and down, squeezing gently, her thumb running over the wet, glistening tip of him. She knew this part of his anatomy just as well as he knew her breasts, knew just how he liked to be touched and just how far she could push him. Jed's hand was laying warm over the mound between her thighs, his fingers making forays into her slick heat that caused her to whimper and moan. Before either of them was even aware of making the decision to take the next step, Abbey lifted her thigh over Jed's hip and took him deeply within her, giving a loud strangled moan at the tight fullness his penetration always gave her. Jed rolled over on top of her and began to move within her, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he fought to keep from losing control. Their lovemaking this evening was gentle. It was tender. It was loving. They made love along with the rhythm of the sea, their bodies coming together like the waves that crashed loudly onto the beach, then retreated in near silence. They continued on that way until Jed's relentless thrusts had Abbey whimpering and begging and crying out his name as every muscle in her body began to grow taut with the frantic need for release. She continued to absorb his thrusts until he finally sent them both spiraling over the edge of that wonderful, almost painful precipice, and he threw his head back toward the darkened sky to give out a deep, primal cry of her name as he exploded within her over and over. 

When he was completely spent, Jed fell heavy on top of her, burying his face in her hair. He inhaled deeply enjoying the fresh, entirely feminine scent of her. The honeysuckle of her hair, the lily of the valley that was her perfume, and the faintest hint of roses left on her skin from her earlier milk bath. Now those scents were combined with the muskiness of sex that lay pooling between them. Reveling in his masculine addition to the scents that adorned his wife's body, Jed's hands continued to caress up and down Abbey's hips and thighs enjoying the silky smoothness of her skin, the soft curves of her body – the sheer womanliness of her. 

As her breathing returned to normal, Abbey realized that, except where Jed's body covered hers, she was getting cold. Jed felt her shiver. 

"You cold, babe?" 

"A little." 

He withdrew from her body and rolled to his side. Bereft of his body, the night air covered Abbey with goose bumps. 

"That didn't help," she complained, closing her arms across her chest and lifting her knees to her belly in an effort to keep warm. 

"No, but this might." He tossed her his shirt and began to open out the two person sleeping bag they had used when they camped in the national parks. Abbey quickly slipped into his shirt. After getting the sleeping bag opened Jed turned to see that she had moved to stand by the campfire. He smiled broadly, loving how she looked when she wore his clothes. The shirt overwhelmed her tiny frame, coming almost to her knees, the arms dangling past her fingertips. 

"What are you giving me that goofy grin for?" she asked. 

"I'm just wondering how somebody can look so incredibly cute and so incredibly sexy at the same time." 

"It's a gift." She scooted by his outstretched hands and slid into the sleeping bag. 

Jed found his discarded boxers and pulled them on before joining her in the sleeping bag and pulling it up around them like a cocoon. Abbey snuggled back into his chest, feeling his arms close tightly around her. 

"That was really good tonight, Abbey." 

"It's always really good, Jed," she yawned. 

"No, I mean making love outside. It's been so long. I miss it. Maybe I ought to make deals with Ron more often." 

"I don't think so." 

"Why not? You used to love having sex outside." 

"Still do. I just don't like having an audience." 

"We didn't have an audience. I told you, I talked to Ron and he…" 

"Jed, whether the agents watched us or not is pretty irrelevant. I imagine they got a pretty good audio version of what they saw in video last year. That howl to the moon that you made when you came was hardly something they would have missed. " 

"Well, you weren't so quiet yourself, sugar pie. I seem to remember a lot of begging and pleading." 

"That's what I'm saying. You just made my point." 

"You should have been a lawyer." 

"I'd have been a great lawyer." 

"I see you as more of the prosecutor type." 

"Really, why do you…Oh, Jed, look, a shooting star. Make a wish." 

"I thought you could only wish on the first star." 

"Nope, you can wish on a shooting star, too." 

"Who says?" 

"I do. Now, shut up and make a wish." 

Jed closed his eyes and Abbey waited impatiently until she thought he was finished making his wish. "What did you wish for?" 

"Can't tell you or it won't come true." 

"That's only for the first star wishes. You can tell people all about shooting star wishes." 

"I don't know…." 

"Come on –" she cajoled, caressing the rough hair on his thigh. 

"You tell me first." 

"Oh, fine. I wished that we would always be as happy as we are right now." 

"Oh, that's a good one. Now I feel kind of bad." 

"Why? Did you wish to be re-elected or something?" 

"No, I wished that you'd continue to let me have sex with you outdoors whenever the mood strikes." 

Abbey gave a soft snort of laughter. "Oh, Jed, you are so damn predictable." 

"There's that word again. You know you better stop blaming me every time one of our kids curse. You're not as blameless as you seem to think you are." 

"I control myself better." 

"Really?" His hand slid up under her shirt, palm resting on her belly, toying with the ring in her navel. A sly grin crossed his lips as he realized she hadn't put her panties back on. 

"Around the kids, Jed. I control myself better around the kids." 

"I'm glad you clarified that, because I seem to remember a complete loss of control not fifteen minutes ago on this very spot." 

"Smartass." Abbey laid her head on his shoulder, staring up into the dark sky and the thousands of twinkling stars as she played with the hair on his chest, her fingers tickling and teasing. "By the way, why did you get called out tonight?" Her voice was getting husky as she got sleepy. 

"Oh, they just wanted to alert me about a hurricane that's headed toward the east coast." 

"What!" She sat up abruptly and gasped in pain. "Ow! That hurts. Let go of my hair." 

"I'm trying to. You shouldn't have jumped up like that." He began to unravel the strands of hair he'd been twirling around his index finger. 

"I'm sorry." She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at him. "I was just a little startled to think that you seduced me on a beach when a hurricane is about to blow in." 

"Not THIS part of the east coast," he chuckled. "They're thinking it will either hit the Carolina coast or it may veer northeast out to sea. You're not in any danger of being swept out to sea, my love." 

"You better be right about that." She snuggled back up into him. 

"Are you getting hungry?" he asked. "I brought a veritable feast of decadent delights." 

"Maybe later. I think I may need a little more physical exertion to build up my appetite." She rubbed her index finger over his nipple and began to run her toes against the hair on his calf. 

"Really? You're in better shape than I thought, Mrs. Bartlet." He ran his hand down her smooth thigh to hitch behind her knee and lift her leg up and over his hip, pulling her warm damp groin against him. 

"Think you can keep up with me?" Already he could feel her pulse starting to race as she felt his body responding to her invitation, felt him hardening against her, searching for the way home. 

"Or die trying, hot stuff." He grinned at her, "Or die trying." 

**** 

Abbey shivered and tucked her arm back under the sleeping bag as she nuzzled in closer to Jed. She was disoriented for a moment. The surf was incredibly loud and it was very chilly in the bedroom. She thought for a moment that Jed must have left their bedroom window wide open. She opened her eyes sleepily and realized that they had fallen asleep on the beach. From the gray quality of the sky, she figured that it was somewhere close to dawn. She noticed that the campfire had burned out and beside it lay the bottle of champagne they had polished off after making love a second time. She had no idea what time they'd finally fallen asleep, except that it was very late. They'd lain under the blanket of stars and the glow of the moon, talking softly, reminiscing, and listening to the romantic crooning of Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, Dean Martin, and Nora Jones, and had, at some point, both fallen asleep. 

Jed was still sleeping soundly, snoring softly. She smiled down on him pushing his thick unruly hair back off his forehead. The lines were relaxed on his face and he looked much younger and somehow boyishly vulnerable while he slept. She felt a surge of protective love rise within her, the same surge she felt when she watched her babies sleep. She wanted to keep him this way – safe, stress free, unburdened by the incredible weight of his job. She knew that was impossible and that Jed never wanted to play it "safe". She also had to admit that she found bossy, commandeering, and powerful Jed, as exciting as she found sweet, kind and boyish Jed, heartrendingly tender. Still, it was times like these that she cherished – time when it was just the two of them in each other's arms and he was completely and totally hers. None of his staff, no matter how close they were to him, would ever know this Jed. No historian or biographer would ever be able to convey to the insatiably curious public, the intimate side to their life as husband and wife. Nobody, but her, would ever know what an incredible kisser that he was. Nobody, but her, would ever know how he liked it when she sank her teeth into his shoulder when he made love to her, or just where and how to touch him to make him groan as if he were in agony. Nobody, but her, would ever know just what a romantic, passionate and creative lover that he was. There were parts of Jed that the entire world was privy to, but not that. That part of him was hers and hers alone and that was powerfully satisfying to her. 

She stretched out beside him feeling like the proverbial cat that got the canary. She was exhausted from only having gotten only a couple of hours of sleep and her muscles and back ached, not only from their physical athletics the night before, but also from sleeping on the beach. Sand might seem soft, but it was not something she would ever recommend as good bedding. The soft skin of her breasts and face felt chafed with whisker burn, and her nipples were very tender, but she felt good. DAMN good, she thought with a smile. She stared out across the ocean watching a thin line of gold form on the horizon. The sun was about to rise. 

"Jed." She pushed at his shoulder. 

"Mmmm…" he groaned sleepily and instinctively moved to cup his hand over her breast. "Just give me a minute." 

"Not THAT." She pushed his hand off her breast. "Come on, wake up. The sun is about to rise." 

Jed yawned, stretched, squinted at the horizon, and finally sat up. Abbey scooted between his outstretched legs so that she could stay wrapped in both his arms and the sleeping bag. She leaned back against his chest and he rested his chin on top of her head. Inch by inch they watched the huge orange ball that was the sun rise up in the east, creating streaks of gold and pink in the sky and glittering over the dark ocean. In a matter of only minutes it had risen high enough on the horizon to kiss them with the first licks of warmth for the day. Both sat silently, basking in the beauty of the moment, feeling the gentle warmth of the sun bathing their faces and watching the world suddenly come back to life. 

It was Abbey who broke the awed silence. "That was the perfect end to a perfect night. I still can't believe that we spent the whole night out here." 

"So, you're not worried anymore about the noise we might have made." 

"Nope. Last night was too perfect. I have no regrets. If any of the agents were hiding back behind those rocks getting off on listening to us, then so be it. I can't control what they see and what they hear and I wouldn't trade last night for anything." 

"I couldn't have put it better myself." 

"But, facing the agents and facing our families are two entirely different things. I think we better pack up and get home before Nicky and Aislinn wake up and alert the whole house that we're not there. After all, my father still thinks I'm a good girl." 

"Really?" Jed lifted an eyebrow, as they both began to dress. "Where exactly does he think those five kids we have come from?" 

"Oh, them? Didn't you know? They were all immaculate conceptions." She batted her eyelashes at him. 

"Immaculate conceptions, my ass. I'll show you how those kids came to be." He pulled her toward him, his lips going right for the sensitive spot at the base of her ear. 

"As much as I'd like to take you up on your offer, and as much as I would love to see that 'oh Abigail, how COULD you?' look on your mother's face, we do have to get back." 

**** 

If possible, Leo slept worse when he was on vacation than when he was working. He didn't like having days off. Didn't really know what to do with himself. Unlike Jed, he could never make himself kick back and relax. He always felt that there was something that he should be doing, even if everything was taken care of. He knew that he had been driving Bruno nuts with phone calls to San Francisco every hour. Truth was he wished he were flying back out with Bruno today to help with setting up the convention. But Jed was spending another week here at the beach, so he would be flying between Maine and D.C. for the next week. Sam and CJ were the only staffers remaining behind for the entire week. Sam, because he needed to be with the President should the need for any comments arise, and CJ because she was the voice of the White House and even when the President was on vacation, she gave briefings every morning from the garden of the guest house. 

Leo sat at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and a stack of papers. He wanted the convention to be perfect – needed it to be perfect. Everything had to run smoothly. They were running neck and neck with Rob Ritchie, something that made him thoroughly queasy. The man was a good old boy, a dim bulb, so to speak, and the fact that he was running almost even with a brilliant man like Jed was a testament to the public's sense of betrayal in their leader. People liked Jed Bartlet. Even when his numbers were down, his likeability scores had always been high. They had trusted him. M.S. had destroyed that. It had taken people a long time to work past both of the Bartlets' eastern intelligentsia image, but they had. Having the babies had helped, but even before Abbey had gotten pregnant, people had come to truly like the couple. Not since Jack and Jackie had a couple been so revered. Then came the M.S. and all the suspicions that people had about them had come to the forefront. Maybe Jed Bartlet was a liar just like every other politician. Maybe they were too big for their britches and thought they were above the law. Maybe Abbey Bartlet was just another ambitious political wife out to do whatever it took to get her husband elected. Their job was to show people that their initial thoughts about the Bartlets had been right – that the M.S. had been an aberration, a misjudgment, and nothing more. People loved to knock down their heroes only to lift them up again. Well, they'd been knocked down and they needed to be lifted back up if they were going to win this election. 

As he sipped his coffee thoughtfully, he heard soft laughter – feminine and masculine – come through the open window with the breeze. He made his way over to that window, stopping when he saw the President and First Lady making their way up the trail from the beach. Abbey wore her dress from the night before, only now it was quite wrinkled and her hair was rumpled and sexy. Jed's khakis were rolled up his calves and he was barefoot. He carried a picnic basket in one arm; his other arm was wrapped around Abbey's waist. It was barely the break of dawn, and evidently they had spent the entire night on the beach, probably in each other's arms. The pang was still there, not quite so sharp, not quite as deep, but still there. However, along with the pang of unrequited love, came the relief in knowing, really knowing, that if things did not go their way, if Jed did not win re-election, that he would be okay. It would hurt, no doubt about it, and it would be a major blow to his ego, but he would survive. He would still have Abbey, still have the kids and the farm, and summers here at the beach. He would still have a fulfilling and rich life. They would all be okay. CJ would be in big demand back in Hollywood or in D.C. if she chose to stay in politics. Toby would find another candidate, maybe not one that he believed in as strongly as he did Jed Bartlet, but he too would survive. Josh and Sam would look for an open district to run for Congress. It hit him then that they would all be okay except for him. He had given everything he had to running Jed Bartlet's White House – everything, including his marriage. He would never have another job so frustrating, challenging or powerful. He could never run for office, there was too much baggage in his past. If Jed lost the election, he, Leo, would lose absolutely everything and unless he got his act together there wouldn't be anyone there to help him pick up the pieces. 

He watched Jed and Abbey climb the stairs to the cottage, saw Izzy open the screen door and the two fair-haired toddlers scamper toward them to be picked up into their parents' arms. Yes, as long as Jed Bartlet had Abbey and his family, he would be absolutely fine. 


	10. Summer Storms

"So, what do you make of this whole hurricane deal?" CJ asked Abbey as the two lay side by side, sunbathing and listening to the radio. 

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." Abbey sipped from her piña colada. "Jed said it's going to hit the Carolinas or veer out to sea." 

"But it could hit us, right?" 

"I suppose anything is conceivable. And if it does hit Carolina and come up the coast we may get the remnants, but there won't be much left of it by the time it gets to Maine. Don't look so worried. My God, CJ, you grew up practically in tornado alley." 

"Yeah, well, tornados don't give you much time to worry. By the time the siren is going off, it's too late to do anything but run to the basement for cover." 

"Well, I grew up on the coast and we survived some pretty big blows. This far north the main concern is usually storm surge and this high up in the cliffs we never have to worry about being flooded out by the invading sea. In fact, Jed and I are going for a sail up the coast tonight. We're going to have dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in Bar Harbor and spend the night on the boat before coming home tomorrow." 

"What's this? Another romantic night?" CJ teased. "Spending the night on the beach wasn't enough for you?" 

"We're making up for lost time. It's not often that I have Jed all to myself. I have to take him when I can get him." 

"No pun intended?" CJ wiggled her eyebrows. 

"That too," Abbey acknowledged with a tip of her glass and a saucy smile. "Actually, what we're really making up for is future lost time together. Time off is going to be in pretty short supply for the next four months until the election, especially since I'm not going to be allowed below the Mason Dixon line." A slight bitterness crept in to Abbey's voice and CJ flushed. She had been in on the strategy sessions where the decisions had been made to keep Abbey in "safe" territory. She would be attending fundraisers all over the Northeast and California, the heart of the liberal wing of the Democratic Party. 

"Your role is going to be just as important, if not more so, than the President being on the campaign trail. You're a star, Abbey. People are going to shell out the big bucks to meet you and hear you speak. You're going to raise the money we need to keep campaigning." 

"I know it's important, CJ. It's just going to be a rough few months." She glanced at her wristwatch and sat up. "I better get back. Jed's probably just about ready to pull his hair out by now trying to get the twins down for their nap. Izzy hasn't been feeling well and we gave her the afternoon off so he's been on baby duty. I'm pretty amazed that he hasn't buzzed me yet." She showed CJ the walkie-talkie she'd brought with her down to the beach, in case she was needed. 

"I'll walk back with you. I shouldn't spend too much time in the sun." The two women packed their sunscreen and books into their beach bags, threw on their wraps, and made their way back up the winding cliff path. CJ lagged far behind the First Lady and Abbey had to wait for her at the top of the hill for her. As soon as CJ reached the top, Abbey turned to continue on toward the cottage. 

"Abbey, for God's sake, wait a minute. Let me have chance to catch my breath." 

Abbey turned to see CJ bent over trying to catch her breath. "You're out of shape, Claudia Jean." 

"I work out on the treadmill every morning," CJ insisted. "Well, almost every morning. Well, one morning a week." 

"It's not the same as getting outside and hiking," Abbey told her, as the two continued on their way through the pine forest toward the cottage. "You should take me up on my invitations to come hiking. You never have, you know." 

"If the way you climb up that path is any indication, I'd never be able to keep up with you." CJ nearly bumped into Abbey when the smaller woman stopped in her tracks. "Why'd you stop?" 

"Ssshhh…" Abbey pointed to the hammock that lay between two pine trees at the edge of the lawn. Wearing just a pair of old faded khaki shorts, Jed was sprawled out on it sleeping. One arm was tucked behind his neck revealing a tuft of sandy colored hair in his armpit. She knew from experience just how silky that hair was. His other arm was curved around a sleeping Nicholas, who he held tightly to his side. Aislinn was sleeping face down on his chest and Abbey could see that she was drooling into his chest hair. There was a pile of Dr. Seuss books under the hammock attesting to the fact that reading time must have become nap time. 

"What are you doing?" Abbey asked, while CJ was rummaging through her beach bag. 

"That, is quite possibly the sweetest thing that I've ever seen. I have to preserve the moment." She pulled out a digital camera and started snapping pictures of the President and his sleeping toddlers. "God, wouldn't the press love to have these photos." 

"CJ," Abbey warned. 

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna pass them on. These are for my own private album." 

Abbey let CJ have her fun before she stepped up to the hammock to gently try to awaken Jed without waking the children. She brushed her fingertips softly over his cheek. He moved a hand to try to swat her feather light touches away then grasped her wrist tightly without opening his eyes. 

"Hey, Fifi," he murmured sleepily. "You better get out of here before my wife gets back from the beach. She doesn't like other women messing around with her boy toy." 

"Her, boy toy, eh?" Abbey grinned at the term. 

"Oh, Abbey," his eyes opened in mock horror. "I can explain." 

"Sure you can. So, tell me, Don Juan, you get a lot of action, do you, when you've got kids sleeping and drooling all over you?" Abbey stood beside the hammock, hands on her hips, flashing him a skeptical look. 

Jed smiled and bent his chin to kiss the top of his daughter's head. "I hear I'm pretty irresistible this way." 

"Well, if you want confirmation of that you better get up and moving so we can head out for our sail." 

"We can't." His voice was laced with disappointment. 

"What do you mean we can't? What world crisis has erupted to ruin THIS evening?" 

"No world crisis. We don't have a sitter. Izzy's really sick and she's staying at her sister's and all of our family members have departed. " 

Abbey nodded and CJ could see the same disappointment that had been in the President's voice, cloud her eyes. "I could do it." The words came out before she knew what she was saying. 

"What?" They both turned to look at her. 

"I could baby-sit the twins for you. I'll just spend the night at the cottage with them." 

"You don't know anything about kids," Abbey reminded her. 

"No, I don't. But how difficult can it be? " 

CJ didn't miss the skeptical looks that passed between the President and the First Lady. "Oh, come on, I'm an accomplished woman. This is something that twelve year olds do. I don't think there will be a problem." 

**** 

"CJ Cregg, reporting for duty." CJ saluted the First Lady as she entered the Bartlets' kitchen. Abbey had her head in the refrigerator. 

"Good, you're here. I was just putting the kids' supper away." She held out two Tupperware bowls to show CJ before putting them back in the refrigerator. "You can just heat those bowls in the microwave, but make sure you test the food before you feed them. It gets hotter inside than it is outside. Make sure Nicholas eats his green beans. He likes them about as well as his father does. He'll try to feed them to the dog." 

"Do they feed themselves?" 

"We're working on it." Abbey flashed a rueful glance at Jed. "But if you don't want a huge mess, you'll want to help out. They eat about 5:00. If they want a snack a little later, there are some graham crackers on the counter. Jed, show her." 

Smiling at Abbey's motherly concern, Jed made a big show of lifting the box to show CJ. "These, CJ, are graham crackers." 

CJ smiled at the sarcasm in the President's voice but the First Lady shot him a look that kept him from mocking her any further. 

"They'll need a bath before bed. Watch Aislinn, she likes to gnaw on the soap at times. I lined up their bubble bath and the baby shampoo on the tub and I laid their pajamas over the rails of their cribs. Diapers are in the bin by the changing table." 

"I need to put one of those on before they go to bed, right?" 

Abbey flashed Jed a look of stunned panic. 

"Kidding," CJ grinned. "I'm kidding." 

"CJ, don't do that to me." Abbey hit her lightly on the arm. "Now, where was I? Oh, yes, bedtime. They still get a bottle before bed." She pointed to the bottles on the counter. 

"Do I have to heat it and, you know, check it on my wrist?" 

"Not anymore," Abbey smiled softly. CJ hadn't been kidding. She really didn't know anything about babies. "That's only when they're little babies. I usually rock them and read them a story while they have their bottles and you can put them down somewhere between 7:30 and 8:00. Nicholas has to have Tigger with him and Aislinn will need her blankie. Neither will go to sleep without them. They may wake up in the night; sometimes they have bad dreams." 

"What do kids that age have to be scared of?" 

"Being baby sat by people who don't know what they're doing?" Jed was leaning against the counter reading Abbey's very detailed list of instructions. 

"Very funny, ha ha ha. This isn't exactly brain surgery here. I think I can handle two eighteen-month old children." She peeked around the corner to where Aislinn and Nicholas were seated on the floor leaning against Max while they watched _101 Dalmations._ "Look at them, they're little angels." 

"We'll remind you that you said that when we get home tomorrow," Jed told her, as he moved into the room to kiss the kids goodbye with Abbey right on his heels. 

"You two be good for Auntie CJ." Abbey got down on her knees to kiss each child's upturned face. "Mommy and Daddy will be back tomorrow." 

Both children watched their parents leave with solemn, wide eyes, but CJ was gratified to see that there weren't any tears. 

"See, we're gonna get along just fine." CJ grinned and sat back to watch the movie with them. The sound of the screen door banging shut against the frame drew Aislinn's eyes to Nicky's and both faces began to scrunch up dangerously. 

"MOMMMMYYY!!!!" 

**** 

It was a wonderfully indulgent late afternoon on the _Abigail Anne_. Abbey, slathered in suntan oil, lay sunbathing on the deck watching the spectacular craggy coast of Maine pass her by. Jed sat at the helm listening to a Red Sox game on the radio and watching Abbey. She was wearing the much vaunted black string bikini that barely covered the strategic parts of her and was somehow more tantalizing that way than if she were sunbathing nude, or so he tried to tell himself. How he had ever gotten himself such a little sexpot for a wife was a question he still asked himself to this day. God had definitely been smiling upon him the day that he set Abigail O'Neill right smack in the middle of his path. 

Only a few more lazy summer days, he thought to himself. Already, he was anticipating the convention, could feel himself growing antsy for the fight ahead. He was ready for it. Ready to win back his countrymen, ready for four more years and the chance to accomplish everything he'd ever dreamed of accomplishing. He knew it was all well within his reach. With Abbey beside him he could do anything. His eyes fell back to his wife as she leaned back on her elbows, arching her breasts toward the sun, her head tilted back. Yes, he was ready for the fight, ready for the days, and even weeks, that they would spend apart, and he knew that she was too. But, he would miss this: miss waking up with her every morning and spending the day playing with her and their children, miss making love to her deep into the night with the breeze from the ocean drifting through their bedroom window, miss dancing with her in the sand under the stars and cooking meals with her. He would miss being simply the Bartlet family upon their return to being the "First Family". 

"Jed," Abbey turned to him, pushing her dark sunglasses up into her hair. "Are you going to turn into Frenchman's Bay or are you kidnapping me to Canada?" 

"What, oh, yeah…" Jed squinted at the coastline realizing his mistake. He'd been so lost in thought he'd almost missed the bay entirely. 

Once safely anchored inside the harbor they went below deck to dress for dinner. As usual it took Abbey much longer than it took Jed, and by the time she made it back on deck, he was already pouring them each a pre-dinner cocktail. He gave a long appreciative wolf whistle when he saw her standing on the deck in her three inch stilettos and a simple spaghetti strapped black sheath that skimmed sensuously over her curves, dipping generously to reveal the tops of her breasts. Her fiery hair was loose and sexy and bouncing at her shoulders. 

"You like?" she purred, moving sensuously forward to take the glass that he was holding out to her. 

"I like." 

"You don't look so bad yourself." The days in the sun had streaked Jed's now longer, dark bronze hair with bright gold and red highlights. He was ruddy cheeked and healthy, his skin lightly tanned and the deep royal blue shirt that he wore brought out the softness in his baby blue eyes. He often told her that he first fell in love with her smile; for her, it had been his eyes. Paul Newman had nothing on her husband when it came to having the most gorgeous, heart melting, bluer than blue eyes. But it was more than just the color that she had fallen in love with. The phrase "the eyes are the windows to the soul" had to have been referring to Jed Bartlet. Every emotion that he felt played out in those eyes; whether they be a glittering sapphire with desire or icy with anger, all she had to do was look deeply into them to know exactly how he was feeling. 

"Abbey…" 

She realized he had been holding her drink out to her and she had yet to take it. She took the glass from his hand, inhaling the scent of his bay rum aftershave. She stepped in closer to rub her cheek softly against his freshly shaven jaw. 

"You smell yummy." 

"You sure you want to go out to dinner?" He ran a hand up her soft arm. 

"Yeah, I'm starving." 

"For food?" 

"Yes, for food." She shook her head. 

"Hey, you can't blame a guy for trying." 

**** 

It had taken CJ almost a half hour to console Nicholas and Aislinn after their parents' departure. Telling them that their Mommy and Daddy were going to be home tomorrow, until she was blue in the face, seemed beyond their comprehension, and did, at times, seem to make them cry even harder. When reasoning didn't seem to get her anywhere, she finally turned to making funny faces at them. Much to her surprise she started to receive some watery smiles and even a few little giggles. Inflated with triumph, she moved them into their high chairs for supper. 

"You know, guys," CJ said, as she placed their plastic bowls and sippie cups in front of them. "I can't remember the last time that I ate at five o'clock. Hell, I…oops…heck, I can't even remember the last time that I ate before eight o'clock. Your dad's a bit of a slave driver, you know." 

Nicholas grinned at her, milk and mashed potato dribbling down his chin. 

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you, Mr. Bartlet?" CJ smiled and wiped his chin. Then, hearing Aislinn giggle she turned to watch the pretty little girl rub her weary eyes with hands covered in butternut squash. "And you, Miss Bartlet, are a disgrace. You are the President's daughter. You should be setting an example for toddlers all over the world. I'm sad to say that these unladylike manners could get you into trouble in the future. Right now you're on the top of the world, kiddo. You're a media darling, on the cover of _People_ and _Parents_ , but if it gets out that you have the table manners of a little heathen, to quote your mother, it will be a scandal of a huge magnitude. I don't know if you'll ever recover…" As CJ rattled on, Aislinn mashed a fistful of potatoes into her mouth and Nicholas leaned over the side of his high chair to give Max a handful of green beans. 

"Well, I see you two like taking my advice as well as your parents do." 

**** 

Abbey and Jed shared an out of the way table by a large window that overlooked the lovely sea cove and the marina. Their arrival had created quite a stir and it had, as usual, taken them both several minutes to get used to having all eyes in the restaurant on them. But now, as their attention centered on each other, they were able to tune out the rest of the people present. It had always been that way between them; they had always been able to focus in on one another to the exclusion of anything else. While the sun began to set and Jed sipped his scotch and Abbey her margarita, they listened to the jazz ensemble that was playing on the outdoor patio and watched the big yachts coming in to dock. 

"This is so nice, Jed. You know I how much I love our family, but it's a real treat to be able to get away. Just the two of us." 

Jed smiled and reached a hand out to cover hers where it lay on the table. "I can't remember the last time that I've felt this relaxed – this good." 

"It's been a rough couple of months," she admitted. "You've been pretty preoccupied." 

Jed nodded, sipping his scotch through a throat that was closing. "Well, you know the convention, the summer campaign." 

Abbey nodded, but she knew it was more – much more. Knew that it had something to do with that morning that he had arrived in Maryland, needy and desperate. He hadn't been himself for several weeks after that day, and there were times that she would still catch a haunted look in his eyes. 

"Is there anything else? Anything you want to tell me?" 

Now was his chance, he thought. He could come clean. Tell her everything. He stared for a long while into her shining green eyes. He saw love in those eyes, love and trust and compassion. 

"I…uh…Oh, here's our waitress." 

Abbey let out the breath she had been holding, sure that he'd been about to tell her what had happened to create such inner turmoil within him. 

"Well, doesn't this look good." Jed eyed his big juicy prime rib as the waitress walked away. 

"Jed, what were you trying to say?" She wasn't going to drop it. He stared at that lovely face again and knew in an instant that he couldn't do it. He couldn't admit to her what he had done, because he couldn't bear to see the love for him in her eyes replaced by anger and recrimination, disappointment and disgust. He couldn't bear for her to turn away from him, and most of all, he couldn't bear for her to believe that he was no longer the man that she had married. 

"Oh, it was nothing, just convention stuff. Let's not ruin our evening talking politics." 

"Amen." Abbey began to pick at her haddock but deep inside she knew, knew there had been more that he was about to say, knew that he was holding back. But, maybe he was right. Maybe this was not the night for this talk. Tonight he was not the President; he was her lover – her handsome, charming, witty, and oh so sexy lover. 

**** 

"All right, you two, we better get you out of this tub before you get all pruned up." CJ was kneeling on the floor beside the tub. She was soaking wet from both trying to wash the toddlers and from getting splashed by them. She'd been trying to get them out of their bath for the past ten minutes, but both were having too much fun playing with all their toys in the warm water and neither of them wanted to get out for bed. 

She turned to reach for a towel and by the time that she turned back Aislinn had a bar of soap in her mouth. "Oh, honey, no!" CJ panicked and took it away from her. "That's not good for you." She grabbed the plastic cup she'd used to wash their hair, filled it with cold water, and poured it into Aislinn's mouth. 

"Okay, Aislinn, spit." CJ imitated how she wanted her to rinse. Aislinn spit the water out and with it a big bubble formed on her lips. Nicky's eyes lit up and with a mischievous smile he slapped at his sister's face to smash the bubble, hitting her hard across the mouth. Aislinn's bottom lip quivered and by now CJ knew the signs and braced herself for the howl that was only seconds behind. 

"It's okay, sweetie. Nicholas didn't mean to hit you." CJ lifted the sobbing little girl out of the tub and wrapped her in a warm towel. "Nicholas," she turned to the little boy. "You need to be careful. You don't hit your sister in the face." Nicky's bottom lip began to tremble, as much from having hurt his sister, as from the reprimand. CJ closed her eyes wearily letting the two cry until they calmed down. When Aislinn's sobs had finally turned to hiccups, she set the little girl on her feet to begin patting her dry. As soon as the towel left her body, Aislinn took off out the door with a gleeful shriek. 

"Aislinn!" CJ pulled Nicholas out of the tub, set him on the floor, and took off after his wayward sister. "Running around naked as the day you were born is MUCH more scandalous than your unladylike table manners." She caught the child at the end of the hall and scooped her into her arms. "YOU are going to cause problems, little girl." 

CJ made her way back to the bathroom with Aislinn in her arms. As she stepped through the doorway, her jaw nearly hit the floor. Sitting naked on the carpet, Nicholas was pouring the entire bottle of bubble gum scented Sesame Street bubble bath onto Max. 

"Goggy baf." He grinned proudly up at CJ and began patting the dog's soapy fur with his chubby hands. Max gave her a baleful look, not exactly thrilled with his "doggy bath". 

"I know exactly how you feel, buddy," CJ commiserated. She needed a drink – BADLY. She wanted a drink and then to curl up in bed with a good book. But, now she had to rinse the dog and she still had to get the kids to sleep. Why on earth anyone chose to be a parent was absolutely beyond her comprehension at this point. 

"I can't believe your mother chose to do this FIVE times. I always thought she was such a SMART woman." 

Both Aislinn and Nicholas peered at her with sweet angelic little faces. "That 'butter won't melt in my mouth' look is not going to work with me anymore." Her finger wagged in their faces. "I'm ON to you two. Remember that." 

**** 

Abbey and Jed left the restaurant, forgoing dessert, which they planned to have later on the boat. They walked past the flaming torches that lined the path to the restaurant, then strolled along the docks hand in hand, breathing in the salt air, listening to the gulls and the soft music that came from the restaurant and several of the yachts moored in the harbor. The night air had turned chilly and Abbey wasn't wearing a bra. Her nipples formed hard little peaks against the fabric of her dress and she ached for Jed's big warm palms to cover them. She was very aware of the instant he noticed them, saw the spark kindle in his eyes and she felt that spark all the way from her nipples to her groin. 

"I'll warm you up when we get on board," he promised. 

True to his word it took Jed only seconds once they were on board for him to pull her hips toward him. "God, I love your breasts, Abbey." The almost reverent words were spoken as he covered the soft mounds just as she had wanted him to and began to nuzzle along her cleavage. "You have no idea of how sexy you are to me." 

"I think I do." Her fingers began to thread through his hair, then she pulled his head back. 

"What?" He looked puzzled. 

"They're all yours, lover boy, but we're going to do this BELOW deck this year." 

"Well, then, let's go." He nearly yanked her arm off as he dragged her below deck to their tiny cabin. 

**** 

Finally, after rinsing the dog off in the bathtub and toweling him dry, and getting the kids into diapers and pajamas, CJ was able to sit down. She ran around the White House everyday, yet she couldn't remember the last time she had felt quite so exhausted. No wonder twelve year olds did this – they were the only ones with enough energy to keep up with it all. She gave a weary sigh as she sat back in the big rocking chair with a twin tucked under each arm. Both were sucking sleepily on the "bubba's" that they had demanded as soon as she mentioned bedtime. Their heads fell heavy against her breasts and some deeply maternal instinct sprang to life within her. They were so sweet like this, so innocent, and they smelled so damn good – of baby shampoo, baby powder, and milk. Suddenly, the chaos and the tears from earlier in the evening didn't seem to matter anymore. What mattered was the way Nicholas and Aislinn lovingly snuggled into her, trusting her to take care of them. What mattered was the soft sucking noises they made as they drank from their bottles and how they would point chubby little fingers toward the pictures in the book she read to them. What mattered was how they would look up at her with big round eyes and smile around the nipples of their bottles. What mattered was how those little smiles made her heart flip flop and the way they transported her back in time to the night that they were born. 

Every time the door had opened to the birthing room, she had been able to hear Abbey groaning and crying out in agony. When it was over, she'd asked Abbey about the birth, about why she would go through something like that more than once. A soft maternal smile had curved on her lips as she gazed down at the brand new baby she had just given birth to. She'd admitted that in the throes of transition labor she had sworn that each baby she was birthing was going to be the last. But then, when it was over and she held her newborn in her arms the way that she was doing at that moment, something inside her clicked, and while she would never completely forget the god awful pain, she was able to put it into perspective and take heart from the fact that it was all worth it. What had she said? "One day of pain is worth it for a lifetime of joy." Seeing how wiped out Abbey was and remembering the tortured cries, CJ hadn't understood or believed a word she had said. Now, looking down at the two little towheads who had fallen asleep against her chest, she did. 

"Now I know why your mom did this five times." She kissed the top of each silky blond head. "I think I might even like having one of you for myself." That thought gave her a small jolt. She had thought she was passed all that biological clock stuff. Hers was ticking down pretty fast and she'd pretty much convinced herself that she was okay with not having kids. It wasn't like she even had any "father" prospects in mind. Unbidden, the image of herself chasing a naked little red haired child down the hall, as she'd chased the blond Aislinn earlier, flashed before her. Only this child ran straight into her father at the end of the hall. Danny. It was Danny. Aw hell, she thought to herself, why did it always come down to Danny? 

**** 

Abbey lay naked curled up to Jed's side. She was still toying with his chest hair and he was still running his fingers up and down her spine. Neither had quite caught their breath yet. 

"It's been so long since we've spent an entire night on the boat." Abbey's lips pressed lazy kisses around Jed's nipple. 

"Mmm…Too long," he murmured sleepily. They lay quietly then, feeling the gentle up and down swells of the sea and listening to the bell buoys clanging in the distance and the sound of water sloshing up against the boat. It didn't take long for their satiated bodies to be lulled to sleep. 

After a restful night on the gently rocking boat, they were up early the next morning to cook breakfast together in the tiny galley, Abbey wearing just one of Jed's T-shirts and Jed wearing just his boxers. It had been a very long time since they'd had the privacy to cook half naked together and they were having a good time, laughing and singing along with the radio. 

Ron Butterfield heard their laughter as he made his way below deck. He was thankful for the fact that they were up and cooking and not doing the horizontal tango as many of his agents had bet they would be doing. 

"Mr. President." There was no door to the galley, nothing to knock on, so when Ron noted their lack of clothing he turned to look away while he spoke. Jed immediately stepped in front of Abbey, despite the fact that she was dressed far more discreetly than he was, and his eyes began to search for his robe. He was out of luck – neither of them had brought any other clothes to the galley with them. 

"You may as well come in, Ron. I don't have anything to cover myself up with." 

"I'm really sorry to intrude on you like this, sir, but we have a bit of a problem. We need you to head back to Windy Point. Now." 


	11. Summer Storms

"It's so calm outside. It's hard to believe that we have a hurricane bearing down on us." Having been invited to join the First Couple for dinner, CJ was sitting at the kitchen table slicing tomatoes for the salad. The President was at the counter grating cheese and the First Lady stood beside him stirring the spaghetti sauce and adding spices. It was apparent they often cooked together for when Abbey brought a spoon to Jed's mouth, all it took was a squint of his eyes or a wrinkle of his nose for her to reach for the basil or the garlic. 

"She's hardly bearing down on us." Abbey sipped from her glass of Merlot and looked out the window. "She's not even going to hit the east coast. She's veering out to sea – out toward Nova Scotia. Ron just wanted us to get back from Bar Harbor quickly because the seas are going to be affected." 

The seas had definitely been rougher on the way back than they had been on the trip up the coast, but it had been exhilarating to ride the large swells and they'd arrived safely back before there had been any real danger – back in time to find CJ in a flooded bathroom plunging away at the toilet. Evidently while she had been placing a clean diaper on Aislinn, Nicholas had tried to flush his sister's soiled one and backed up the plumbing. Never had CJ been so happy to see two people, even if the reason they were home was because a hurricane was headed their way. At this point, she welcomed Hurricane Sylvia as opposed to Hurricane Nicholas and Hurricane Aislinn. 

"Well, I am sorry your trip got cut short." 

"Sure you are," Abbey laughed, as she re-filled CJ's glass with wine. "So that frazzled 'Calgon take me away' look when we returned was just a figment of our imagination?" 

"Must have been. Everything went perfectly smoothly." 

"Bull…oney," Jed finished weakly after getting a look from Abbey. He really was trying to watch his language now that the kids seemed to be picking up on everything. "Did you get any sleep at all last night?" 

"Oh, I had no problem with sleeping. The kids fussed a bit for mommy when I put them down in their cribs, but they slept pretty good through the night. It was when they were awake that chaos reigned." 

"Perfectly smoothly?" Abbey lifted a brow at CJ's contradicting statements. CJ flashed the President a 'help me' look, to which he responded with a shrug. 

"I keep telling Abbey she'd have made a hell of a prosecutor." 

"Well, she walked right into that one." Abbey lifted the lid on the boiling pasta. "Spaghetti is ready. Why don't we take all the food outside and Leo can join us whenever his flight gets in." 

They each carried trays laden with food and wine to the table that was set among the beach roses on the edge of the cliffs. Vivaldi played softly in the background and Jed lit tiki torches to keep the mosquitoes away. The baby monitor was set prominently in the middle of the table lest the children awaken while their parents were outside dining. The three friends enjoyed a leisurely supper and a conversation surprisingly devoid of politics. CJ regaled the First Couple with stories from her Hollywood past. Both Jed and Abbey were amused and intrigued by the idiosyncrasies of some of the movie stars she knew. Given the President's very vocal opposition to adultery and the very monogamous nature of his own union, she knew many of the male staffers often thought of him as 'old fashioned' and 'straight laced'. He was both those things, but he was not stuffy or prudish in any way, and he seemed especially eager to hear of the sexual peccadilloes of some of the biggest names in Hollywood. She also knew that it would surprise many people to know that the First Lady had quite a ribald sense of humor and it took a lot to make her blush. Somehow it was easier to be herself with them at Windy Point – easier to be open and not always on her guard about saying the wrong thing. Maybe it was because they were so much more accessible without all the trappings of the Presidency surrounding them. Whatever the reason, CJ was enjoying herself immensely. 

As darkness began to descend upon them, Abbey brought out strawberry shortcake for dessert. She was carrying the tray across the lawn and as she approached the table a sharp pain stabbed into her side. She gave a soft gasp and dropped the tray loudly on the table. 

"Abbey!" CJ jumped to her feet but the President had made it to his wife's side before her. 

"Abbey, what's wrong?" Concern clouded his face. 

Abbey took a breath, the pain having gone away almost as soon as it had struck her. "I'm okay, sorry. I guess I just got a stitch in my side. That's what I get for eating all that spaghetti." 

"Abbey, are you sure that's all it was? Why don't you sit down." 

"Oh, Jed, don't hover over me. I'm fine." She smiled to reassure them both then leaned over to light the candles on the table. A slight hint of citronella began to mix in with the briny sea and the roses. Crickets chirped and the surf crashed below them at the base of the cliffs. None of them were aware that the balmy, almost tropical air, was the calm before the storm. None were aware that Hurricane Sylvia was regaining her fury and getting ready to make a turn toward the east that would put her right on a collision course with the coast of Maine. 

**** 

"MAMA!… MAMA!… MOOOMMMYYY!" 

Abbey awoke with a jolt. She hadn't even needed the monitor to hear the kids screaming loudly for her from the nursery. She was up in a flash to find out what had caused their terrorized cries. Before she made it to the bedroom door, she knew what it was. A bright flash of lightening illuminated the bedroom and almost instantaneously a loud, crashing bang of thunder shook the cottage, causing more hysterical screaming. She opened the door to the nursery and another flash of lightening showed her both of the twins standing in their cribs howling with fear, their faces blotchy from tears. 

"Ssh…ssh…it's okay, Mommy's here now." Abbey knew there was no way she was going to console them and get them back to sleep while the storm was at full force. She lifted each child onto a hip, a task that was getting harder and harder the bigger they got and grimaced at the tenderness on her side. Jed met her in the hall. 

"Scared of the storm?" 

"What do you think?" Abbey waited for the next shriek as a particularly loud bang of thunder shook the house again. They didn't disappoint. "They're terrified, Jed." 

"It's okay, kiddos. Don't be scared." Jed took Nicholas from Abbey. "It's just a storm. The loud bangs can't hurt you." Nicholas was having none of his father's words of wisdom, instead his little arms clutched as tight as a vise grip around his neck. "Ssh…It's okay, son. Daddy's got you now. Nothing can hurt you." He held the boy tightly to his chest, patting his back, and while Nicholas stiffened with every clap of thunder, he was no longer screaming in fear. Aislinn, too, had calmed a bit in her mother's arms and by the time Abbey and Jed lay back in bed with the two children in between them, rubbing their backs soothingly, they had settled down to occasional sniffles. The nasty band of thunderstorms preceding the hurricane went on until the wee hours of the morning, but thankfully being safely in their parents' bed and in their parents' arms had allowed both children to fall back to sleep, albeit a fitful sleep. 

**** 

Jed felt the soft touch of fingers roaming over his face. "Mmm…Abbey," he murmured and smiled in his sleep. "Abbey!" It was said indignantly this time as he wondered why in the hell his wife was waking him up by poking him in the eye. His head snapped up and he was confronted by the grinning face and guileless eyes of his daughter, her curls all askew. 

"Dadda eye." 

"Yeah, that's Dadda's eye all right," Jed rubbed at his eyelid. 

"Eye." Aislinn pointed to her own eye. 

"Yup, that's Aislinn's pretty green eye." 

"Nose." She reached out to squeeze Jed's nose. 

"Uh, Ash, do you think we could maybe try to go back to sleep? Look, Mommy and Nicky are still sleeping." A tender smile crossed his face as he watched his wife sleeping peacefully with their son's fair head tucked under her chin, one of his tanned little arms draped around her neck. Hoping Aislinn would agree, Jed laid back and closed his eyes. 

"Up!" Aislinn demanded and leapt onto her father's belly, her knee hitting him in that spot that caused him to awaken completely. 

"Shit!" He drew his knees up and rolled to his side. "Man, little girl, it's a lucky thing I don't wanna have any more kids," he groaned. 

"Sit!" Aislinn mimicked. 

"Not you too." Jed's gaze fell back to Abbey, but although she had stirred, she had not awakened. He wasn't going to take any chances. "Okay, okay I'm getting up. What do you want?" He got sleepily to his feet and turned back to where his daughter sat amidst the blankets. 

"Ceweel." She lifted her arms to him. 

"Cereal it is then." He picked her up and they made their way to the kitchen. 

**** 

Still a bit bleary eyed and feeling under the weather, Abbey entered the kitchen with Nicholas. Jed was at the counter wearing a pair of faded cotton boxers, a gray T-shirt and white athletic socks, his hair sticking up endearingly. He was singing the ABC's and bouncing Aislinn on his hip while poured boiling water into her oatmeal. 

"Anything I can do to help?" she asked. 

"I've got it all under control," he assured her, tipping his head down to accept her kiss to his cheek. "You might want to let the dog in though. It's pretty nasty out there and he didn't want to go out to begin with." 

Abbey moved to the door, gasping when the wind ripped it out of her hands and slammed it back against the house. She felt the sting of sand all the way from the beach against her face and Max came bounding in soaking wet and began to shake everywhere. It took all Abbey's strength to get the door shut again. 

"Jed, it's really bad out there. Those winds are hurricane force." 

"I know. I guess the storm's gotten closer to shore than they thought." He held out a mug of hot coffee toward her, made just the way she liked it. 

"Goggy wet!" Nicholas cried, as Max shook right next to him. He lifted his arms to his father to be taken out of the line of fire. 

"Max, out of the kitchen, boy." Jed shut the dog out of the kitchen and Abbey sat at the table watching him over her coffee mug as he got both kids settled into their high chairs, with bibs and hot cereal. She marveled, yet again, at just what a terrific father he was. He always had been, right from the start with Elizabeth. There had been no male posturing in Jed Bartlet, no walking away from diaper duty or bathing and dressing the kids. Yes, as their mother, most of that work had fallen on her, but Jed had never shirked his duties; it would never have occurred to him to do so. They had been so young when Elizabeth was born and they had learned their new roles of mommy and daddy side by side, together every step of the way. Being a father was a role he enjoyed tremendously and it had always warmed her heart and given her great joy to watch Jed with their children. 

"Abbey, earth to Abbey…" 

Abbey saw a hand waving in front of her face. "What? Oh, sorry…" 

"You were a million miles away. I was just saying that you really don't look so good." Now that he was seated at the table with her, Jed could see that she looked pale and wan and she was hunched over as if in pain. 

"I'm just a little crampy, that's all." The coffee had also made her slightly nauseous. 

Jed nodded with understanding. "I've got things under control here. Why don't you go upstairs and take a nice hot bubble bath. That usually helps." 

"Yes, it does. I think I will. You're sure you're all set?" 

"To quote my esteemed press secretary, 'How hard can it be? Twelve year olds do this.'" 

Abbey chuckled and Jed watched her make her way back to the stairs, stopping at the landing to rub her side, and he frowned, thinking back – Abbey had just had her period a couple of weeks ago; he knew exactly what her time of the month was because she was on the Pill and she was like clockwork. So why now? She had told him that as she got older her cycle was going to become more erratic before it disappeared altogether, but he'd always thought that meant fewer times, not more times. 

**** 

While he bathed the children, Jed listened to the radio. Hurricane Sylvia, packing winds of up to 115 miles per hour had, like a woman, he thought, changed her mind and instead of heading east out toward Nova Scotia, she was now headed northeast in the classic New England storm pattern. The eye of the hurricane was supposed to pass directly over Windy Point at some point during the day as she made her way up the coast. Ron had called during breakfast to let him know that the two agents that had been stationed in the gardening shack had made their way to the beach when alerted of an unknown boat heading their way. It had turned out to be an unmanned sailboat that had come off its moorings but they had been trapped on the guest house side of the beach thanks to the tremendous storm surge. None of the agents had been able to brave the wind and rain to make it to the cottage, so they wanted to make sure that he had his panic button in case of emergency. Ron had also informed him that if not for the fact that there were several large pine trees down along the road they would have attempted evacuation inland earlier. It had also been decided that it would be more risky to evacuate them on Marine One than it would be to ride out the storm in the relative safety of the cliffs. So the Bartlets were staying put. 

After dressing the kids, Jed made his way back to the bedroom to check on Abbey. She was out of the bath and had changed into baggy flannel pajamas, her comfort clothes. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose – her hair still damp and curly. She looked so cute, like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's clothes. He noted as he got closer that she held a heating pad to her belly. 

"Not any better?" he asked. 

"No, worse I think. The Midol isn't working at all. It feels almost like when I had that ovarian cyst." 

"Do you think you have another one?" 

"I don't know, could be." 

"Well, if I can leave the dynamic duo with you, I'll go make you my Jed Bartlet cure all." 

"Okay." She put her book down and scooted over to make room for both kids. When they were each tucked under an arm, she clicked on the TV and flipped by all the local and Boston stations issuing hurricane news to find Nickelodeon and cartoons. Jed hadn't been gone ten minutes when the power began to flicker and finally went off altogether. In the eerie silence Abbey could hear the surf pounding into the rocks that formed their cliffs and the wind howling and banging against the windows. Thankfully, just as both kids were about to let loose with their dismay over no cartoons, the power came back on and Jed arrived. 

"Dadda." Nicholas tried to climb over Abbey to get to him, and when his elbow went into her belly, Abbey let out a shriek that scared both Nicholas and Jed. 

"Abbey?" Jed was immediately at her side and Nicholas began wail with fear. 

"I'll be okay," Abbey breathed, blinking back the tears in her eyes. "Just give me a minute to catch my breath." She took deep breaths, willing the pain in her belly to go away. 

Jed took Nicholas into his arms, trying to comfort the boy. "Abbey, are you sure this is your period? You've never had cramps this painful before." 

"I don't know. It doesn't feel like regular menstrual cramps and I haven't actually started my period. With cramps like these I should have something to show for it. It's probably another ovarian cyst." 

"Well, as soon as this storm is over, I want you to go see your gynecologist and have it checked out." 

Abbey nodded. It was a testament to the pain she was in that she didn't make a sarcastic comment about being the real M.D. in the family. Instead, she began to pat Nicky's back. "I'm sorry, Nicholas. Mommy didn't mean to scare you. It just hurt me when you crawled over me." 

"Hoot?" he asked, inserting his thumb in his mouth. 

"Yes, hurt," Abbey pointed to her belly. Nicholas nodded and squirmed to get out of Jed's arms. He crawled up the bed and leaned over to give his mother's belly a kiss. 

"Thank you, sweetheart. I feel better already." Abbey tousled his fair hair. It was a lie, but at least it made Nicholas feel better about hurting her. 

"You want to give this a try?" Jed handed her a warm mug. 

"Is it what I think it is?" She inhaled the aroma. 

"Of course." 

Real hot chocolate, laced with butterscotch schnapps. It was the drink they had always favored after coming in from the cold, but Jed had also discovered early in their marriage that it had helped Abbey when she had cramps. Since then, he'd always been ready and willing to make a pot whenever she needed it. Abbey didn't have the heart to tell him that the curative powers of his elixir was not helping her this time, in fact, it had only taken one sip for her stomach to roll over and she thought for sure she was going to throw up all over the quilt. 

As they all sat together on the bed, the wind began to increase in intensity, howling with a fierceness they had never experienced before, gusting savagely to shake the house. During one of those violent gusts there was a horrible creaking noise. Jed's eyes caught Abbey's and they held their breath as a large crash shook the ground. Jed raced to the window. 

"Jed, stay back!" Abbey called out. "We didn't tape them. Those windows could blow any minute." Jed adhered to his wife's wishes. 

"I'll go downstairs and check it out." 

Abbey nodded. She was seated on the bed Indian style with both frightened children on her lap. "It's okay," she soothed, smoothing back hair and rubbing backs. "It's just the wind. Nothing to be scared of." 

Jed returned, a little of his nonchalance gone. "This is going to be a doozy, Abbey. That crash was a big old pine tree and it's laying right across the lawn. It's only a matter of time until the power goes." 

"Then we better get to work." 

"Abbey, I can batten down the hatches. You stay…" 

"Jed, I'm fine. It's just cramps. I'm going to try to put the children down and then I'll join you." 

The nursery was on the west side of the house, away from the direct hit the east side was getting and things were a little more quiet, a little less ferocious. Abbey moved the cribs to the far wall, away from the window, all the while ignoring the pain that was beginning to burn in her belly. She covered the windows tightly with towels in case they blew and it didn't take the kids long to fall asleep. They were exhausted from their lack of sleep the night before. Once she was sure they were really out, Abbey began lighting candles and hurricane lamps and filling flashlights with batteries. Jed was busy nailing a board across the door so she moved to the sink to fill it with water in case they were to be without for an extended period. She'd already filled the bathtubs. Chances were that once the storm was over, the Service would whisk them out, but at least this gave her something to do. 

"The doors are all set," Jed told her as he made his way to the living room. "I'm going to start a fire to take an edge off the chill." Abbey nodded and followed him in. She'd only handed him one log when they heard Aislinn crying. 

"Great," Abbey sighed. "I JUST got her to sleep." 

"I'll see to her." Jed started to rise. 

"No, finish the fire. I'll check on her." She wearily made her way up the stairs, the pain getting worse with every step that she took. She stood in the nursery rubbing her belly, denial losing out. These were no menstrual cramps. This was no ovarian cyst. This was something really serious. It was her last thought before she lost consciousness. 

Jed finished lighting the fire and could still hear crying in the nursery. In fact, now both children were crying. What was Abbey doing, he wondered. Why wasn't she calming them? When the crying turned to out and out hysterical shrieks, he frowned and made his way upstairs. 

"Abbey," he called out at the top of the stairs. His frowned deepened with no answer. "Abbey?" He opened the door to the nursery. Aislinn was standing in her crib screaming and pointing toward the wall behind him. Jed picked the crying little girl up, his mind registering that Nicholas was not in his crib. 

"Mama…Mamaaaa," the pitiful moans came from behind him. He turned and he nearly dropped Aislinn on the spot. 

"Oh Jesus, ABBEY!" 


	12. Summer Storms

Abbey lay unconscious, sprawled face down on the floor with Max stretched out beside her whining and nudging her with his nose. The sippie cup she had been carrying to give to Aislinn still lay under her fingertips. The pitiful moans had come from Nicholas, who had climbed out of his crib. The baby boy sat beside her crying and patting at her face and hair trying to get her to wake up. 

Jed put Aislinn on the floor and raced to her side, pushing both the dog and his son out of the way. 

"Abbey! Abigail!" He began to tap on her face and realized that she was burning up with fever. He turned her over and lifted her so that her head was in his lap. "Abbey, sweetheart, wake up, come on, baby, wake up." The jostling had caused Abbey enough pain for her to weakly open her fever bright eyes. "That's it, honey. I'm right here." 

"J…Jed…" she whispered his name so weakly he could barely hear what she said. "Th…thirsty…" 

"You're thirsty?" 

Abbey gave a slight nod. Jed's eyes scanned the room passing over the twins who were huddled close together, still crying, although not so hysterically now that he was there, and finally fell on the full sippie cup laying on the floor. He brought it to Abbey's lips and she swallowed gratefully, then pushed his hand away urgently. 

"No…It's making me…sick." 

Knowing there wasn't time to get her to the bathroom, Jed grabbed the first thing he could find, the kids diaper pail. Thankfully it was fairly empty. He made it back just in time for Abbey to grab both sides and begin to vomit. Watching their mother throwing up had caused an increased pitch to the kids crying, but Jed was too focused on Abbey to calm them, other than every so often telling them that everything was okay. He emptied the water from the sippie cup on to a face cloth and pressed it into the back of Abbey's neck, holding her hair back and rubbing her shoulders while she continued to throw up. When she was finally finished, he dabbed at her mouth with the washcloth and held her back against his chest while she tried to regain her breath. The pain of vomiting had nearly done her in. 

"Abbey, what's going on here? Do you know what's wrong with you?" 

"Don't know…flu?" 

Jed gave her a skeptical look. This looked much more severe than any flu he'd ever seen. It was then that he felt her whole body begin to shiver uncontrollably in his arms. 

"Cold…so cold. Jed…Please…I'm so cold…" 

"Okay, I'm going to bring you down by the fire." He looked at the two sniffling children on the floor. 

"I'm going to put you in your cribs and bring Mommy downstairs to warm up." 

Mutinous expressions came over their faces and they got to their feet, running to Abbey. 

"Downstays…Mommy…" 

It was quite evident that they did not want him to take their mother and leave them behind. For a moment he figured they would just have to live with it, but then remembered how Nicholas had climbed out of his crib. He couldn't have them climbing out and running around without supervision. What was he supposed to do? 

"Okay, okay, calm down. You can come down with us but you need to stay with me and Mommy, okay?" Both nodded wiping at their noses and eyes and got to their feet. 

"You ready, Abbey?" Jed got to his feet and leaned down to lift her up. 

"NO!" Abbey shrieked in pain as he pulled at her. "No, don't move me, please don't move me." 

"Where does it hurt, Abbey?" 

"Here." She moaned and covered the lower part of her abdomen with her hands. 

Jed lifted her pajama top and peeled down her bottoms examining her. There was no evidence of any bruises or bumps marring the creamy skin of her belly. Nothing that would indicate why she was in such severe pain. But, that kind of pain did not accompany the flu and he was now convinced that his wife needed medical attention right away. That was when he reached in his pants pocket and for the first time since he had become President, he pressed down – HARD – on his panic button, as if the harder he pressed the more urgent his request would be. 

"I don't see anything, Abbey, but I've got to get you down by the fire. Help is on the way." He ran next door to the bedroom for a quilt and wrapped her in it. "Put your arms around my neck. I'm going to carry you down to the fireplace. I know this might hurt, sweetheart, but I'll try to be gentle." 

Abbey weakly placed her arms around his neck and he hooked an arm under her knees and began to lift her. As her body shifted, Abbey cried out again in pain. 

"It hurts….oh God, it hurts…" 

"I know…ssh,..it's okay." He stood for a long moment holding her still against his chest. It was killing him to hurt her like this – to feel the way her body was shivering against him from the cold, and to feel her tears of pain against the bare hollow of his throat. "It's all over now, you're up." His lips moved against her scorching forehead. "We're going to take this nice and slow." He turned back to look at the children who had been scared into a subdued silence with their mother's cries of pain. "Kids, follow me down the stairs to the living room." 

As gentle as he tried to be, Abbey still moaned as he made his way down the stairs and Jed was sweating with exertion and the queasiness he got from causing his wife pain. He made her as comfortable as possible on the couch and pushed it up close to the fireplace before moving to the bookcases that lined the hearth, scanning quickly for Abbey's medical books. He found the one that he was looking for and sat in front of the hurricane lamp where he followed the trail of his wife's symptoms to find out what could be wrong with her. His eyes widened at where his research lead him – Ectopic pregnancy. His gaze fell to where his wife lay curled up in pain. Could it be? How could it be? He knew that no type of birth control, other than abstinence, was 100% effective; but they'd been so careful since Abbey had conceived the twins. Could lightening strike twice? Could it have happened again? He read further along and was not comforted in the least. The part about a tubal pregnancy not being a viable pregnancy seemed to jump out at him. It should have been a relief – it was a relief. One middle aged pregnancy had seemed, after the initial shock, to be a gift. Another would not be quite so welcome. They had their hands full with their two young toddlers. Another pregnancy and birth and then caring for a newborn infant was something he didn't want Abbey going through again. Still, as he watched her shivering on the couch, her arms held around her belly – maybe losing their child – something inside began to hurt. Losing a child, even under these circumstances would not be an easy thing to deal with. Still, it was what he read next that caused his blood to run cold – the fact that if her fallopian tube were to burst the results could be fatal. Reading further on about the chance of infection and death from a burst appendix, the only other ailment that came up with Abbey's symptoms, did nothing to alleviate his fears. His eyes moved back on his wife and his limbs began to shake. Could she honestly be dying? Could something have burst inside her and was now poisoning her system? Could Abbey really be dying while there was absolutely nothing that he could do to help her? Well, there was something he could do. He could try to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with her. 

"Abbey?" He knelt beside her and took her hand. "Abbey, could you be pregnant?" 

"Pregnant…? Am I having a baby? Is that why it hurts…?" Her head fell limply to one side. 

"Abbey?" Jed's face froze as he realized that she was delirious and was not focusing in on him at all, that her condition had deteriorated so badly in just ten minutes that she had no idea of where she was or what was happening to her. Somehow, someway he had to get her to a hospital. He wasn't going to just sit here and let his wife die. He looked around wildly for a way out of this mess. The phones were dead. How could he find out what was happening with the Service and just what the hell was taking them so long. That was when he remembered the cell phone. 

**** 

Agents were running around the guest house with a profound sense of urgency. Never had the President used his panic button, but he just had, and now they were forming plans to get to him. Plans that included rope lines tied to their waists to combat the wind and the torrential sheets of rain, which was exactly what they were doing at the moment. 

"Can't you work any faster?" Leo asked brusquely. He had returned after dinner last evening but before the storm. "You don't have any idea what's going on over there." 

"No, we don't, Mr. McGarry. That's why we're making sure we're prepared for whatever the problem might be." 

"What if a tree fell on the house and the President is pinned under it?" CJ asked. She was bordering on nervous hysteria. "What if the President had a heart attack? What if he opened the door and got hit in the head with flying debris? What if he got struck by lightening?" 

"Who are you, the voice of doom?" Leo shook his head. Ron was staring at CJ, his eyes wide and mouth open with amazement, but after working with Margaret all these years, Leo was used to that type of rambling negative thought process. "And what if he's just alerting us that they lost power." 

"The President wouldn't hit his panic button for THAT," CJ scoffed. "He's proud of the fact that he lives in a place where Nor'easters and blizzards knock out power. Don't tell me you've never gotten the pioneer lecture." 

"The Pioneer lecture?" Ron asked, as he knotted the rope around his waist. 

"It's a version of several other speeches, but basically consists of a derisive monologue about how pansy we've become in the twenty-first century. How completely lost we are without power; how we've lost our self reliance and…" 

"Okay I get it, I get it…" Leo placed his hands up in defeat. "So he probably didn't hit the panic button for that, but I doubt a tree fell on him either. Maybe he…" Leo broke off at the ringing of a cell phone. 

"That's me." CJ dug in her bag and put the phone to her ear. 

"Hello…Mr. President…" All talk in the room ceased and everyone stared at CJ expectantly. "Yes, he's right here." CJ handed the phone to Ron. 

"Mr. President, what's going on over there…What? How high is her temperature?….Is it normal to have a fever like that with a miscarriage?…Oh, yes, I see…We're going to make our way over now and I'm going to see about getting Marine One on its way…Yes, we'll hurry." 

CJ and Leo were staring at each other stunned and both jumped on Ron as soon as he hung up. 

"What's going on? What was that about a miscarriage?" Leo asked, in shock. "Is Abbey pregnant?" 

"Not that the President was aware of, but the First Lady collapsed." 

"She collapsed!" Leo burst out, his eyes going frantic. CJ could see that, despite his careful façade, Leo still had very deep feelings for Abbey Bartlet. 

"The President found her unconscious in the nursery. Evidently she's been having some abdominal pain off and on for the last day or so." 

"She did last night," CJ nodded. "She said it was just a stitch in her side." 

"I guess there was more going on than that. Right now she's delirious with fever and pain." 

"That doesn't sound like a miscarriage to me." Leo frowned. 

"Not a typical one. I guess the President ran her symptoms through one of the First Lady's medical books and they led to an ectopic pregnancy." 

"Ectopic?" Leo asked. 

"A tubal pregnancy," CJ told him. She'd had a friend who had gone through one. "It's when the egg is fertilized in a place other than the uterus, usually in the fallopian tubes. The baby can't grow in there; there isn't enough room. A woman either miscarries or has to abort. Sometimes the tube bursts and…" 

"And what?!" Leo demanded. 

"And the mother can die." 

"Oh shit," he groaned, his face growing ashen. "Surely Abbey would have told him if she was pregnant." 

"She didn't with Nicholas and Aislinn," CJ said quietly. "Not until after he was shot." 

Leo nodded his head remembering very well the moment he'd been told of her pregnancy. "Well, is he sure that's what this is?" 

"No," Ron said, "but the other option, a burst appendix, is not exactly a more comforting alternative. We have no way of knowing just what is going on inside her until we get her to the hospital." 

"He must be going out of his mind." Leo ran his fingers through his hair. 

"He's alone trying to take care of her AND the children?" CJ asked. 

"Yes, he's alone." 

"Then I'm going, too. You're going to need help with the kids and they know me." 

"Ms. Cregg, it's very dangerous out there. I can't let you out in that storm." 

"Sorry. You don't have any authority over me." 

"Or me," Leo said. "The President is going to need us. You either help us get over there or we'll do it on our own." 

Ron shook his head. The President's friends were just as stubborn as he was. 

**** 

Jed sat on the couch with Abbey laying over his lap. She was still wrapped in the heavy quilt and yet was still shivering uncontrollably. She drifted in and out of consciousness, never completely aware of what was going on except to say that she was cold and that she hurt and hurt bad. 

He held her head tightly to his chest rocking her back and forth feeling just as impotent as he had at any of his children's birth. More so, even. At least then he knew exactly why she was suffering and what the outcome would be; today he couldn't even get his wife the medical attention she so desperately needed. He listened intently for the comforting sound of Marine One's chopper blades but all he could hear was the continual moaning of the wind and the piercing shrieks from the stronger gusts. Everything was moaning now – the house and the wind. He could only imagine what fury nature was unleashing out there. He had no idea how the agents were going to make their way along the cliff path in this kind of gale or just how Marine One would be able to get to them. He talked to Abbey, sent a few words to the kids who were playing quietly on the floor with the toys he'd emptied out of the toy box for them, and he prayed. He prayed for Abbey to have the strength to fight whatever was going on in her body. He prayed for the little soul of the baby that might be dying inside her at that very moment. He prayed for Abbey's body to fight the toxins that might be poisoning her if her appendix had ruptured. He prayed for the agents' safety on their way to the cottage and he prayed urgently for Marine One to hurry up and get there. 

For a man of action it was exceedingly difficult to simply sit and watch his wife suffer; there had to be something that he could do to help. The last time he'd taken her temperature it had been up at 103.8 and she just seemed to get warmer and warmer. He had hoped wrapping her in the quilt and giving her Advil would break the fever but her skin was just as dry and hot as ever. What did they do when the kids had a high fever like this? Tepid baths. He wasn't going to put Abbey through the agony of lifting her again and putting her in the tub. What else? Alcohol rubdowns. He seized on the thought. THAT he could do. 

Just as he started to slide out from underneath her, the door flung open, the wind gusting in knocking down pictures and knick knacks and when the door was finally closed and their raingear was removed, Jed was surprised to see CJ and Leo, along with Ron and two other agents. 

"What the hell are you two doing here?" he asked. 

"We're here to help," CJ informed him. 

Warmth filled Jed's chest. He knew there wasn't much they could do to help, but the fact that they had risked Hurricane Sylvia to try to help them left him feeling humble and blessed to have such friends. "Well, that was incredibly stupid and foolish…" He saw the hurt on CJ's face "…and incredibly brave. Thank you both." 

"How is Mrs. Bartlet?" Ron asked. 

CJ had moved right to the couch kneeling down to look at Abbey, but Leo stood frozen watching Jed holding her lifeless form in his arms. 

"She's in and out of consciousness and her temperature is higher. We have to get her out of here, Ron. Where is Marine One?" 

"Marine One had to turn back." 

"WHAT?!" Jed exploded. "She's going to DIE if we don't get her out of here. I'm not just going to sit here and let my wife die, Ron. I don't care if I have to carry her out of here myself." 

"Calm down, Mr. President. It was a temporary turn around. Coming up from the south the wind nearly pitched it into the Atlantic. They're going to try flying inland and coming around from the north so they'll be flying with the wind." 

"What about the Coast Guard?" 

"Marine One is actually better than even the best Coast Guard copter. But, we'll send one out for back up. In the meantime, is there anything we can do to help her?" 

"I was just about to give her an alcohol rubdown. CJ, could you help me with that?" 

"Of course." 

"Daddy, color." Aislinn held her coloring book out to Jed. Neither child was aware that their mother was doing anything other than sleeping and so were no longer upset. 

"Daddy can't color right now, Ash. Color with Nicky, okay…" 

"No…Daddy, color…" 

"Hey Aislinn, want to color with Uncle Leo?" 

Aislinn looked at him a little uncertainly. She knew Leo very well, but he was not the kind of man who sat and played with her. 

Leo felt a slight pang that she was reluctant to go with him. He knew that because of the feelings for Abbey that had begun to consume him, he'd neglected being the "Uncle" Leo that he had been to the Bartlets' other children. He was there, a presence in their life, their father's friend, but he had never played with them, never read to them, never helped to care for them, except for the one time Abbey had made him change Nicky's diaper and the baby had peed all over his tie. 

"Come on, Nicky, you come too. We'll go in the kitchen so Daddy can take care of your Mom and I'll get you guys some cookies." 

It was the mention of cookies that turned them right around and they began to gather crayons and color books and followed Leo into the kitchen. 

"Thanks, Leo," Jed said gratefully. 

"Do what you can for her." He nodded toward Abbey. 

"I will." 

"Sir, we'll go in the kitchen with Mr. McGarry and give you some privacy. Call us if you need us." 

**** 

Finally CJ and Jed had Abbey naked save for her underclothes and laid out on a blanket in front of the fireplace. CJ had gone to get the rubbing alcohol and Jed sat with Abbey trying to keep her from rolling herself back up in the blanket. Despite the heat from the fire she was freezing. 

"Do you know how many times I've had you naked in front of this fireplace?" he asked her, as he pushed her hair back from her face. "I know this isn't going to be the kind of rubdown I usually give you, but bear with me. I'm hoping it will help." 

CJ smiled at the loving tenderness in the President's voice, remembering back to last summer here when she had read Abbey's Cosmo survey where she had admitted to making love in pretty much every room in the house. Evidently she hadn't been exaggerating. 

"I've got the alcohol." CJ watched the President lift a sheet over of his wife's nude body to give her some modicum of privacy. 

"Okay, then let's get started." 

In spite of trying to keep the sheet covering the parts of Abbey's body that weren't being worked on, it still felt strange to CJ seeing the First Lady this way, naked and vulnerable. She was shivering so badly now that her teeth were chattering and she was moaning and trying to push their hands away. CJ watched the President gently run his hand over the First Lady's lower abdomen with a look of supreme concentration on his face. 

"Sir? Is something wrong?" 

"No, I was just checking to see if I can tell if Abbey is pregnant or not. This is where I first notice it." 

"And?" 

"And, there is a slight swelling but I don't know if…" 

"Ohhhhhh!" Abbey cried out in agony as Jed's hands pressed just a tad too hard into the softness of her belly. CJ watched the President's eyes fill with tears. 

"I'm sorry, baby." He bent to kiss Abbey's forehead. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." 

"Blanket…please, blanket," she whimpered, clutching at the sheet to cover herself. 

"We're almost done, Abbey," he assured her then looked at CJ's wide frightened eyes. "I'm going to roll her to the side. Can you do her back?" 

CJ nodded and did as asked, rubbing the alcohol into Abbey's spine all the way down "…Mr. President, how long has the First Lady had a tattoo?" she asked suspiciously. 

"Since before I was President." 

"And you didn't think that it might be important to inform me of that?" 

"No, why would you need to know?" 

"In case I'm questioned." 

"CJ, take a good look at where that tattoo is. Nobody is going to see it but me and Abbey's doctors and I don't think any of us are spilling the beans." 

"You've certainly got a wild one here, Mr. President." 

"Don't I know it," Jed smiled down at his wife tenderly. 

"God, Josh and Sam would go nuts if they…" CJ stopped at the cool look the President flashed her way. "…ever found out, which of course they won't," she assured him. 

"I didn't think so." 

CJ left to throw away the empty bottles of alcohol and Leo entered the room just as Jed was starting to pull the sheet back up over Abbey's bare back. It should have been an erotic vision, Leo thought, the firelight casting rosy shadows over Abbey's nude torso. Lord knows he'd had enough erotic dreams that had held that exact scenario, but right now all it did was fill him with terror. He didn't like how rag doll limp Abbey was in the President's arms as he tried to slide her arm into her silky pajama top. 

"Let me help you with that." He took a step forward. 

Jed looked up with surprise. He hadn't heard Leo enter. He held Abbey to his chest possessively, remembering just how Leo felt toward his wife and just how bare that she was. "No!" It came out more adamant than he'd planned. "I'll just wait for CJ." 

Leo nodded backing out of the room. Obviously, he still had quite a way to go in regaining Jed's trust. 

Despite their best efforts, when Jed re-took Abbey's temperature after the rubdown it had climbed to 103.9. Terror clenched at his heart with the reading and he jumped when Ron burst into the room. 

"Sir, Marine One is approaching and is about to land. We'll get Mrs. Bartlet to the hospital in Portland in no time. 

Relief made Jed's legs weak and he sank down next to Abbey, thanking God profusely for the chance to get his wife help. 

"Did you hear that, Abs? The cavalry just arrived. We're getting you help." Jed's prayer now was that help had not come too late. 

**** 

"Be careful with her," Jed ordered the Marines who were lifting Abbey onto a stretcher. "It hurts her when you move her." 

"We will, sir." 

Jed flinched at Abbey's cry of distress at being lifted onto stretcher and strapped on. "Gentle, please be gentle." This came out as more of an order. As he prepared to follow, Jed's gaze fell on the wide eyes of his children who had no idea what was happening to their mother. He'd almost forgotten about them. 

"They'll have to come with us," he told Ron. "There's nobody to stay with them. CJ is going to have to make a press briefing from the hospital." 

"You could stay with them, sir. You'd be a lot safer here than you will be on that helicopter. It's going to be a dangerous flight and if the First Lady's medical attention wasn't an emergency I wouldn't even be attempting it." 

"Don't even think about trying to leave me behind, Ron. I'm going with my wife. End of story." 

"I thought it might be," Ron sighed. 

"I'll stay with them so they don't have to go on the helicopter, sir," said one of the agents Jed recognized as belonging to Abbey's detail. "I've been around the children a lot with Mrs. Bartlet and I have three of my own. We'll get along fine." 

"Yes, well, thank you ––" 

"Mike, sir." 

"Yes, Mike, thanks. I appreciate it." 

The door was opened and several marines began battling the elements as they wheeled Abbey's gurney toward Marine One. Keeping her dry was a losing battle – umbrellas and tarps were soon whisked away by the wind and she was left with the rain pelting her face. Jed felt his jacket flatten against his chest and there was a gust of wind so strong it literally took his breath away. Sheer brute force and the terror he felt at losing Abbey was the only thing that kept propelling his body forward against that devastating wind. Sea spray hit his face from as far away as the cottage, and it felt as if his skin was being sandblasted from the force of the sand that was pelting him. He had agents on both sides and they continually had to duck out of the way of flying limbs and even a large beach umbrella. He tucked his head down, away from the pounding force of the rain and wind and continued on, one foot in front of the other, sometimes being knocked back a few, most of the time barely staggering forward. The only time he chanced a look up was to make sure that the swaying gurney that held Abbey was still making its way toward Marine One. He could barely see her or the helicopter through the torrential rain and moved on blind faith that both were just ahead of him. It was with a profound sense of relief that he heard the whirring of the helicopter blades over the howling monotony of the wind. And when he made it into the safety of Marine One, it seemed almost surreal to be out of the elements and in the bright quiet warmth. 

With everyone, including Leo and CJ, finally in the helicopter, they set off toward Portland. Jed sat in the back holding Abbey's hand, assuring her that it was only a matter of minutes before they would be at the hospital 

"Would you look at that..." Leo gave a low whistle. 

Jed looked out the window, his stomach roiling. They were out over the dark, churning violent sea. The waves were huge and white capped the spray flying everywhere. The ocean had been whipped into such a frenzy it was impossible to see the troughs in between the giant waves. It was hard to believe that it was the same friendly sea that he and Abbey had been sailing on just a day ago. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was unable to see anything as they hit a vicious squall of rain that turned the visibility to zero. He felt the helicopter lurch against the wind and almost come to a stand still before careening crazily side to side. 

"The pilot's lost control of this thing," Leo gasped. Jed anxiously looked from Leo to where Abbey lay strapped on the gurney, remembering those horrifically violent seas. She'd drown belted into this thing. He began frantically removing the restraints from her wondering how on earth any of them would survive in that sea. Once she was no longer restrained, he held her tightly in his arms unwilling to lose her, aware that in a few moments their lives might be over. It was the way they'd always wanted to go out, together, but not now, not so soon, not when there was so much still to live for. 

Suddenly, sickeningly, the helicopter began to drop straight down to the churning abyss. 

"Oh God, we're going DOWN!!!" CJ screamed as they plummeted faster and faster toward certain death. 


	13. Summer Storms

Jed grabbed the rosary he always kept in his pocket and linked it around the hand he held clasped tightly with Abbey's. He knew that he should be praying; he could hear CJ's terrified "Hail Mary" over the general pandemonium, but all that came to his mind were faces, images of his children: Elizabeth wagging a bossy finger in his face; Ellie favoring him with one of her pure, sweet smiles; Zoey riding over the green fields gazing back over her shoulder at him beaming with his approval; Aislinn squealing and running naked down the hall and Nicholas with a mischievous glint in his blue eyes, throwing stuffed animals to gain Abbey's attention. He couldn't believe that he would never see any of those beautiful, precious faces again; couldn't believe that he was never going to walk Ellie or Zoey down the aisle at their weddings or even see Nicky's and Aislinn's first day of school. And yet, in spite of what was happening, a part of him did thank God. He thanked God that he hadn't had to bring the children on the helicopter and that they were going to have the chance to live their lives. He thanked God that Abbey was unconscious and would never know what hit her when they crashed, that there would be no pain for her. And, most of all, he thanked God that if it was Abbey's time to go that he was being allowed to go with her; that they would make this final journey of their lives together. 

"Hold on, we're about to hit!" 

Jed heard Leo's shouted warning and flung himself over Abbey, shielding her body with his just as Ron did the same to him. For one crazy moment he thought it was like playing a game of pig pile and in the next instant they were making a shocking, jarring impact with the earth that sent him head first into the helicopter's back windows, shattering glass and nearly knocking him out with the violent force of the collision. 

It seemed to take forever for Marine One to stop rolling from side to side and for the engine to finally sputter out. It was eerily silent on board the helicopter as shock and disorientation had replaced the shouts of terror. 

Jed shook his head to rid himself of the stars he was seeing and, slightly dazed, he wondered how it came to be raining inside the helicopter. He had to keep blinking the rain out of his eyes. It amazed him that somehow, miraculously, he was still alive and so was his wife. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest where he lay on top of her. He ran his hands over her face and arms thankful that because he had borne the brunt at impact, she hadn't been hurt or cut by the flying shards of glass. Once he had assured himself that his wife was all right, he started to lift himself from her but was stopped by Ron, who was cradling an injured arm. 

"Mr. President, you hit your head pretty hard on that window. Please, just sit still." 

"I'm fine, Ron. We have to get off this thing before it sinks. Are there any kind of lifeboats on board?" 

"Sir, we aren't going to need lifeboats." Leo was gazing out his window, and where all Jed could see out the back window was angry surf, out Leo's window was a small expanse of beach. The pilot had to have been able to see that they were fairly close to shore when they were going down and had thus aimed for the tiny beach that represented safety. They couldn't know for sure because the pilot was unconscious at the moment. 

"Well, let's get everyone out of here before we end up getting dragged out to sea…What?" Jed frowned at the wide-eyed, alarmed looks on Ron, Leo and CJ's faces. 

"Mr. President, you're hurt." Ron took a step toward him. 

"I'm fine. I banged my head. It's just a little bump. Come on, let's…" 

"It's not just a little bump. You're bleeding everywhere." 

Jed placed his fingers against his temple feeling the sticky wetness there. So that was what he'd been blinking away, not rain. "It's just a stupid little cut. Now forget about it, we have to get Abbey out of here and to a hospital. I don't know how much more time she has, or what that crash might have done to her." 

"Sir, it's bleeding pretty profusely. Let's at least apply some pressure." CJ dug into her purse for her emergency stash of tissues and handed a wad to him. Jed dutifully smacked the compress against his temple and they started to prepare Abbey for departure. Once she was strapped back on the stretcher, Jed began taking off his rain slicker to place over her but before he got it completely off Ron stopped him. 

"Ron, she needs it worse than I do. She doesn't need pneumonia on top of whatever else is wrong with her." 

"We have something better. Solar blankets. They're sort of like survival suits." Ron drew out one of the bright orange blankets and handed it to him so that Jed, Leo and CJ could wrap it tightly over Abbey while he moved to do the same to the pilot. 

"There you go, sweetheart," Jed kissed Abbey's forehead as he secured the blanket up under her neck. "All snug as a bug in a rug." Her face was so pale it was almost bloodless and there were dark smudges under her eyes. If he'd thought he was scared before, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling now. Abbey wasn't even moaning anymore; she was deeply unconscious and completely unaware of anything. It filled him with a numbing sort of terror to think that they might not make it to the hospital in time. 

Ron was on his radio the entire time they carried Abbey's stretcher, battling through the tidal surge and across the wind whipped beach, to a small outcropping of rocks that afforded them some shelter. 

"We can't stop here." Jed hadn't let go of his side of the stretcher. "We have to get her up over those dunes where someone will see us, where we can get her help." There was an urgency to his voice now – a determination to do whatever it took to get his wife the help she needed. 

"No, we just have to sit tight," Ron shouted over the roar of the wind and pounding surf. "The National Guard is sending us a Humvee. We'll have Mrs. Bartlet at the hospital in no time. In the meantime, let's try to keep her comfortable and out of the elements." 

Jed set the stretcher down and moved to unbuckle her restraints with a little help from Leo and CJ. He then lifted her into his arms, gratified and yet terribly alarmed that she no longer cried out in pain at being moved, and carried her deep into the rock outcrop where the rain couldn't pelt her and where the wind wasn't quite so bad. He sank down in the sand with her on his lap. He gently wiped the rain from her face then pulled her up against his chest. Her head was tucked under his chin and it was so easy to feel how hot she still was. 

Tears filled CJ's eyes, and a lump formed in Leo's throat as they watched the President, his head bleeding, holding his wife tightly to him and rocking her back and forth, whispering against her hair and pressing soothing little kisses into her forehead. Neither could remember the last time they'd seen a more loving or tender display. 

"What do you think he's saying to her?" CJ asked, unaware that she'd spoken aloud. 

Leo answered her, "If I know Jed, he's promising her. Promising her that she's going to be all right; promising her they'll be at the hospital soon; promising her that when this is all over he's going to kill her for scaring him so badly, promising…" he broke off, his voice choked with emotion. 

"Leo?" CJ gently held his arm. "What is it?" 

"I just don't know what's going to happen to him if he can't come through with those promises. Losing her would kill him, CJ." 

"I know." She closed her eyes against what Leo's words had suggested. She'd never known a couple like Jed and Abbey Bartlet. Her own parents had divorced when she was young and as a child most of her friends had come from broken homes. As an adult, many of her friends who had married had also been divorced. She had lived in Hollywood, where love was one big illusion – matches made for publicity. She had become cynical and jaded, believing that soul mates were merely a myth and true love something one only read about in a sappy romance novel. 

Then she had met the Bartlets – soul mates in every sense of the word – a couple who supported and reveled in each other's accomplishments and didn't run away from each other when the going got tough. They were not an illusion; they were two halves of a whole and they had given her hope. Hope that her own soul mate was still out there and she simply had to find him. But, there was danger in loving somebody that much, because when one of those halves was ripped away all that was left behind was half a person and she wasn't even sure that Jed Bartlet could be half the man that he was if he lost Abbey. 

**** 

The staff at Maine Medical Center had been on stand-by ever since they'd gotten the call that the First Lady of the United States was being emergency airlifted their way. So when the blue lights of the police cruisers that preceded the Humvee pulled up in front of the ambulance doors, everyone went into action. The First Lady, still wrapped in the orange solar blanket, was wheeled in unconscious. The President, soaking wet and with his head bleeding and hair dripping followed closely behind, unable to let her out of his sight. They quickly wheeled Abbey behind closed doors that read "Emergency Personnel Only" and Jed continued to follow. 

"Sorry, Sir, this is where your journey ends." A large, silver-haired doctor, already in scrubs, grabbed Jed's arm to stop his progression into where they would be examining his wife. 

"But I want to be with her." 

"I'm Dr. Stewart. I'll be assisting on Mrs. Bartlet's case. We're going to do everything we can for her. You have to let us do our job. Can you give me a little history? When did Mrs. Bartlet get sick?" 

"She had a pain in her stomach last night. She said it was just a stitch in her side. After that she seemed fine. She was up with the kids in the night and was okay. This morning she was complaining about cramps. I thought that it was just menstrual cramps." 

"Did she take any medication?" 

"Just Midol, as far as I know, but it didn't work. The cramps got worse. Then, she went in to check on the kids and she fainted. I found her on the floor, burning up with fever. She was thirsty but when I gave her water she vomited and she was complaining of really bad pain low in her stomach. It seemed to get worse when I moved her or touched her there. She's been in and out of consciousness ever since." 

The doctor paused in what he was writing on his chart. "Okay, we're going to go ahead and run some tests but first I need to ask you, is it possible that Mrs. Bartlet could be pregnant?" 

"I don't know." Jed ran his fingers through his hair with frustration. "I mean, we use birth control, but I suppose that it could be possible." 

"Do you know when her last menstrual period was?" 

"Just a few weeks ago, so if she is pregnant it would be a fairly recent thing." 

"Okay, we'll go run those tests and I'll have someone come out to look at your head. You're going to need some stitches there." 

"It's fine," Jed dismissed the doctor's concern. He'd forgotten about the wound that was now crusting with dried blood. "Just take care of my wife." 

The doctor turned to leave and Jed sank bank against the wall emotionally and physically exhausted. Leo had been maintaining a discreet distance while Jed spoke with the doctor but now he stepped forward to take Jed's arm. 

"Sir?" 

"She said it was her period, Leo." Jed pressed his fingers into forehead, his voice flat and tired. "I thought it was menstrual cramps. Why didn't I question it?" 

"Because she said it was her period. She knows her body. Why would you question her?" 

"Because it wasn't her time of the month. Because she doesn't lose her appetite when she gets her period. Because the cramps were way more severe than she usually gets. I think I WANTED to believe it was just her period, but I knew something else was going on." 

"A miscarriage?" 

"I don't know. When I followed her symptoms there were only two things that fit all the criteria – ectopic pregnancy and appendicitis. I hit on the first one because Abbey's pain seemed more over her uterus than on the side where her appendix would be." 

"But how could she…I mean you guys use…. Did she forget again?" Leo stammered on his face turning red with embarrassment. This would have been a hard conversation before but given what they had gone through over the past few months it was almost impossible. 

"Yes, we use birth control and no, I'm not aware of Abbey forgetting her pills, but nothing is 100% effective." 

"Except abstinence." The words came out before Leo realized that he had said them and he could have bit his tongue. They had come out too much like jealousy. 

"Which is totally unacceptable." Jed's eyes burned into Leo's. 

"Or a vasectomy." The twinkle came back in Leo's eyes. 

"Also unacceptable," Jed winced. "Abbey should go through the change soon and then we won't have to worry about it anymore. Although, she says her mother was in her late 50's when she went through it, so we may still have a way to go." 

"What if it is an ectopic pregnancy?" 

"There won't be a baby. There can't be. The baby can't grow and be nurtured anywhere but the uterus. If she hasn't already miscarried, they'll have to do it surgically." 

"An abortion?" 

"Sort of." 

"That'll be hard on Abbey," Leo sighed. "And I know it will be hard on you. I'm sorry." 

"We don't want another child. We have all that we can do to keep up with Nicholas and Aislinn. As much as Abbey will tell you that she loves being pregnant and making babies, I can't imagine her wanting to chase two active toddlers and care for another newborn, not at this stage of our lives. But, you know, none of that will matter. If Abbey finds out that she was carrying a child and lost it, she's going to mourn, Leo. It's going to hurt her very deeply. She took the other two miscarriages as some sort of personal failure. I can't imagine this would be any different." 

"What about you?" 

"It's gonna be hard. I've been trying so hard to make time to be there for the twins. I adore them. I thank God every day that he blessed me with them. They bring me more joy than I can express, but I don't think I could find the time or the energy for yet another child." 

"But… it sounds like there's a 'but' in there." 

"But it still hurts to think about it. It hurt to watch her, knowing that our child could be dying inside her, a part of her and a part of me, something WE created out of our love for each other. It's a profound thing, Leo, very profound, and, if she was pregnant, I'll spend the rest of my life wondering if it would have been a son or a daughter. If she might have been a President or he might have found the cure for cancer. To this day I still wonder about the two children we lost, who they would have looked like, what they would be like. Peter would be starting college this year." His eyes grew suspiciously shiny and he had to clear his throat. "It's the death of possibility." 

"Sir," a doctor approached them. "I'm Dr. Hathaway. I'm going to take a look at your head." 

"But…" Jed looked helplessly toward the emergency doors, "my wife…" 

"We'll make sure you know what's going on just as soon as we do. Come with me please." 

**** 

"No, the helicopter did not crash. The pilot was able to make a crash landing on the beach." CJ stood before the gathered throngs in a special briefing room set up in the hospital. 

"The President was spotted entering the hospital bleeding from the head. Was he injured in the crash?" 

"Crash LANDING," CJ stressed. "Yes, he was injured. His head hit the back window of Marine One and he suffered a laceration to the forehead. He's being treated right now." 

"Was he unconscious?" 

"No, he was always conscious." 

"CJ, why wasn't he in his seatbelt? There are no seats that face the back of Marine One." CJ looked over at the concerned face of Danny Concannon. 

"The President was not in his seatbelt because when the helicopter began to go down he was sitting by the gurney that held Mrs. Bartlet." 

"He didn't have time to move to a seat?" 

CJ turned a sharp eye on the skeptical tone the reporter had taken, wondering if he had been insinuating that his M.S. might have affected the President. 

"Yes, he had time to get to a seat, STAN, but instead he chose stay with his wife and try to keep her from being injured any further in the crash." 

"I thought you said it was a crash landing, not a crash." 

Leave it to Danny to be a smartass, CJ almost smiled. "We didn't know it was a crash landing at the time, we just knew we were going down. Okay, that's all I have for you right now. As I said, as soon as we have reports from the First Lady's and the President's physicians, I'll have them speak to you directly about their conditions. Thank you…" She stepped away from the microphone and started to make her way back to the emergency room. 

"CJ," Danny gripped her arm. 

"Danny, I don't have any more information for you. I'm not hiding anything. The President really did just get a bump on the head and a cut and I still don't know what's wrong with the First Lady so…" 

"CJ." He shook her gently. "I didn't follow you out here for a LEAD." There was hurt in his green eyes. 

"I'm sorry," she softened contritely. "I guess I'm still a little shaken." 

"That's why I came out here. I just wanted to see if you were okay. I was worried about you. You didn't get hurt in the crash?" 

"Land…" 

"…ING," he finished for her with a grin. "The crash landing." 

"No, I didn't get hurt. Just as I said, a little shaken up. I'm just really worried about the First Lady. It isn't good, Danny. I didn't play it up in there but she is really sick, VERY sick." 

"I'm sorry to hear that. She's an extraordinary person." Danny swallowed tightly. He wasn't just saying that to be polite. He truly liked and admired Abbey Bartlet. She was unlike anyone in politics that he'd ever covered before – stunningly naïve and trusting at times, sharp witted and politically astute at others and she played a cutthroat game of "Hearts" on the campaign trail. 

"Yes, she is. Well, I have to go check on the President's condition." 

Danny nodded and turned to head back into the tiny room the press was being kept in. 

"Danny." 

He turned back expectantly to see CJ, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"Worrying about me." 

"I always do." 

**** 

"There you go, Mr. President. You're very lucky you didn't lose your eye. But you'll be as good as new in no time." 

Jed looked in the small mirror he'd been handed to see the stitched wound that ran from the edge of his eye, over his temple, to his hairline. "Will there be a scar?" 

"Nope. Maybe a small one at first but it will fade." 

"Damn." 

"You WANTED a scar?" Leo asked. 

"I thought it might make me look sort of rakish and sexy." 

"You're already rakish and sexy, Mr. President." CJ assured him as she entered the room. 

As Jed turned to look at CJ, his face tightened. Coming through the door right behind her were two doctors, one of them the doctor he had spoken with earlier. Both were grim faced and Jed felt his heart begin to race. 

"Abbey?" 

The doctors gave each other sidelong glances as if neither wanted to be the one to pass on bad news. Finally Dr. Stewart, who had spoken to him earlier, bit the bullet and stepped forward. Jed felt Leo and CJ move in close on each side, as if to bolster him. 

"Sir, I'm afraid the news is not good…" 


	14. Summer Storms

Leo's grip tightened on his friend's arm and Jed heard CJ's soft intake of breath, but all he could feel was a mind numbing sense of disbelief, a certainty that it wasn't possible that that this was happening. He had no way of knowing the deathly pallor his face had taken, didn't feel the slight stagger that caused the doctors to reach for him. 

"No." He held them off. "I'm okay. What's wrong with Abbey?" 

"Sir, your wife's white blood cell count was through the roof which led us to believe that she was suffering from appendicitis. A physical examination and a laparoscopy has confirmed this diagnosis." 

"So, she wasn't pregnant. Thank God." The relief in Jed's voice was almost palpable as he gave thanks that Abbey was not going to have to deal, yet again, with the toll of losing a child, or the ramifications of having to abort that child. 

"Sir, this isn't good news. Well…" he amended at seeing the President's frown. "Of course, it's good news that we aren't dealing with an ectopic pregnancy here, but Mrs. Bartlet is still a very sick woman." 

"Yes, but it's just appendicitis. People don't die of appendicitis." Jed tried to sound confidant but there was a slight need for reassurance in his voice. 

"No, they die of the massive infection that is spread when the appendix has burst." 

"Abbey's appendix burst?" Jed swallowed, his earlier relief completely gone. 

"I'm afraid so. She's being prepped for an emergency appendectomy as we speak. As her next of kin, we need you to sign the release form." 

Jed glanced down at the clipboard he had been handed with that same sense of unreality washing over him. He tried to focus on the words but they all blended into one big blur. He knew that in signing that release he was accepting responsibility for his wife's surgery. "Just how bad off is she?" Jed's tone might have been flat but the naked anguish in his eyes was evident for all to see. "Is she going to die?" 

"Now, sir, let's not move that far ahead. Mrs. Bartlet has a lot of things going for her. She's a strong woman and she's in great health…" 

"But," Jed interjected, knowing the 'but' was coming. 

"But we just don't know how severe the damage is to her system; we won't know until we open her up. A ruptured appendix is nothing to mess with and she went an awfully long time before getting treatment." 

Jed glanced back down at the clipboard and accepted the pen the doctor held out to him. With shaking fingers and a feeling of dread, he signed his name. "Why do I feel like I just signed her death warrant?" 

"Not signing that release would have been the death warrant, sir." Dr. Stewart turned to leave, then turned back when he realized that he had forgotten something. He reached into his pocket and handed Abbey's wedding rings to Jed. Jed held them in his open palm, staring down at them through blurry eyes and swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. In his hand he held the diamond engagement ring he'd placed on Abbey's finger with such unbelievable love and joy the day that he had asked her to marry him, along with her two wedding bands. The simple delicate gold band he'd slipped on her finger when they had stood before their family, friends and God, and he had pledged his fidelity to her, and the more ornate one that he'd given her to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary – this one with their initials engraved with tiny diamonds. He felt CJ's hand gently close over his elbow and they both gave a startled jump when the doors crashed open and the gurney that held Abbey was wheeled out into the hall. Doctors shouted orders, nurses pushed along IV poles and the sense of urgency was unmistakable. 

Jed rushed forward, reaching her side in just a few strides. "Please, can I just have a moment?" 

Knowing this might very well be the last time he saw his wife alive, the doctor gave a quick nod. "Just a moment," he warned. 

Jed took Abbey's hand – the hand that had worn his rings, the symbols of the love that he had for her, that proclaimed to the world that she was his. The pale band around her ring finger where the sun never touched was a stark reminder of the strength and length of the bond that they shared. He gently ran his finger over the bare skin there unable to shake the feeling of the utter wrongness of it. He gazed down intently at her face memorizing the gentle curve of her cheek, the smattering of freckles on her nose, the graceful arch of her brow, the soft flutter of her dark lashes against her pale skin. He had to choke back a sob when he realized just what he was doing, that he was trying with everything that he had to burn every pore of her into his memory so that he would never forget her. He brought her hand to his lips fighting for control of his emotions. "I'm right here with you, baby. I'm going to be right here waiting for you. You're a fighter, Abigail Bartlet." His eyes were burning with tears now. "You gotta fight this and come back to me. You're the only one who can call me a jackass and get away with it. I need you, Abs, and I love you…I love you so damn much. Don't you dare leave me…" A tear began to trail its way down Jed's cheek and he didn't care who saw it. 

"Sir…" Dr. Stewart gently pulled the First Lady's hand away from the President's lips and before Jed knew it, he was watching her disappear, yet again, through the "emergency personnel only" doors. He stood alone, staring forlornly at the closed doors until CJ and Leo both approached him. 

"I don't know where to go…what to do." Jed looked around the room at a complete loss as to what came next. CJ felt a frission of fear tingle down her spine. She'd never seen the President looking quite so lost. "The chapel. I need to find the chapel." 

"Sir." Leo handed him a cell phone. "I think you better make some phone calls first. This is all over the news. Your family must be frantic." 

Jed stared at the phone in his hand. The girls, Abbey's parents, how could he have forgotten about them? "I…I didn't even think…" 

"It's okay, sir." CJ rubbed his arm. She didn't like how pale he was; the shock of Abbey's condition on top of his head wound had left him less than steady. "Why don't you sit down." 

"Would it be easier for you if I call them?" Leo asked. He really didn't know if Jed was up to making those calls or not. 

"No, if you call they'll really be worried. I'll do it." 

CJ, Leo and Ron watched the President mentally pull himself together long enough to reassure his daughters that their mother was going to be just fine. It wasn't quite so easy with Abbey's parents. Being a physician himself, Dr. Michael O'Neill knew just what kind of trouble his little girl was in and there was nothing Jed could say to make him feel better. If not for the fact that they were still in the midst of a hurricane, Jed knew that the hospital would have soon been overtaken with hordes of worried Bartlets and O'Neills. With his phone calls done, he visibly sagged, then, with a deep breath, he stood asking for the chapel. When Leo began to follow him, he turned. 

"I really appreciate all your support here today, both of you, but I'd really like to pray by myself for a while." Both acquiesced to his request and stood back to watch him make his way down the hall, hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders hunched, looking for all the world like a man who'd just had a burden heavier than he could bear dumped unceremoniously on his back. 

"I don't like seeing him like this," CJ said, with a worried frown. "Do you really think he should be alone?" She might have gotten very close to the President and the First Lady, but when it really came down to knowing the Bartlets she always deferred to Leo's better judgment. 

Leo thought for a moment of his best friend's deeply held religious convictions and his belief in the power of prayer. He knew the conversation that Jed would have with God would be deeply personal as much as he knew that he was going to end up pleading for his wife's life. He would absolutely hate for anyone to see him breaking down. Jed Bartlet was a rock; he didn't break down, at least not often, and certainly not in front of anyone other than his family. "He needs to do this alone. Go give your briefing. I'll check on him in a bit." 

"Are you going to call Hoynes? The President's in no shape to…" 

"Yes, I'm calling Hoynes." Leo looked down at his cell phone messages – Josh, Sam, Toby, Charlie, Margaret, Mallory, Jordan…Jordan? Why did that name make him uneasy? Damn. He was supposed to be on a flight back to D.C. at that moment to take her to a dinner where she was receiving an award. 

"Anything important?" CJ asked. 

Leo paused a bit. "Naw, just the guys checking up on us." 

CJ nodded and made her way toward the press briefing room, while Leo placed calls to his senior staffers and to John Hoynes. He did not call Jordan, an omission that did not take long to come back and bite him in the butt. Sitting in a corner of the waiting room, he was returning and fielding a myriad of phone calls. In the midst of calls to and from the White House and State Department, a lone personal call made its way through. 

"Jordan?" That one word was expressed with surprise and a bit of irritation. How dare she bother him now? 

"I know you got my message, Leo. I just got off the phone with Margaret. Why didn't you call me back?" Shades of Jenny's "Jed called Abbey, why couldn't you call me" grated on Leo's nerves. 

"Believe it or not I've been a little busy up here." 

"Don't use that sarcasm on me, Leo. You could have dropped me a quick call to let me know what was going on. What? Did you think I would begrudge you staying up there at the bedside of the woman you love?" It was a low blow but his attitude had pissed her off. 

"Jordan, Abbey Bartlet is in surgery right now. The doctors are trying to stave off a massive infection that could kill her. Still want to make snide comments?" 

"I wasn't being snide. Believe it or not, I'm worried about her and I would have understood you staying up there. Even if you weren't in love with Abbey, your place would be with the President right now. I had just hoped that you might care enough to drop me a line and keep me updated, to feel bad and apologize for missing my big night. I guess I was expecting just a little too much out of you. Good bye, Leo. Please give the President my best and let him know my prayers are with him and Abbey." 

"Jordan…Jordan." He glared at the phone as he realized he was talking to dead air. Damn, now he was left feeling like a complete and utter heel, just as he had all those times Jenny had laid a guilt trip on him. He knew he should have called her, but she was right. He'd been consumed with worry about Abbey's condition and hadn't given Jordan a second thought. Truth be told, if he hadn't seen her message on his phone he would never have even remembered he was supposed to see her tonight. When he had seen her message, it had been easier to ignore it than to call her and get into an argument over his feelings for Abbey. He knew he should be more upset by the phone call than he was, but all he could think about was Abbey laying on that operating table fighting for her life. Tears filled his eyes and he brushed away at them angrily before getting to his feet to go and find the President. 

**** 

Jed kneeled in the first pew in the chapel – his shoulders slumped over, his hands clasped in prayer. He'd done everything the way he'd been taught. There was a comfort in routine. He'd lit a candle for his wife's recovery and tried to lose himself in the familiar litany of the decades of the rosary. But his mind was not on the prayers that he was reciting, instead it was on his wife and what signs he might have missed that would have indicated that she was ill. He thought of her in her black bikini, head thrown back to the sun, the wind blowing her hair back off her shoulders. He thought of the romantic dinner they'd shared in Bar Harbor and how he had made love to her back on their boat. He wracked his brain trying to remember some moment, a facial expression that might have indicated that she was in pain, but he simply drew a blank. She had been just as passionate and eager as she always was. The first clue that anything was wrong had been the night they had dined with CJ on the cliffs. Why hadn't he questioned her more about the pain? Why had she just brushed it off? Dr. Stewart's words haunted him. "She went an awfully long time without treatment." 

"Dammit, Abbey," he muttered. "If only we'd gotten you here sooner." Jed gazed down at the rosary still linked in his fingers but gave up on formal prayer. Instead, he closed his eyes and turned his prayers inward, making personal contact with his God. He tried to be unselfish, tried to pray the way that he'd been taught, the way he'd taught his children to pray, to ask for strength in accepting God's will. He tried to give himself over to God's will, but if God's will meant taking his wife, he wasn't sure that was something that he was going to be able to bear. 

"I'm trying really hard, God. I'm trying to understand why this is happening, but I can't. I just can't. Abbey is such a good person, but I guess You already know that. She's needed here, God. I'm not coming to You selfishly. A year and a half ago You blessed us with two beautiful, healthy babies. I can't believe that in Your infinite wisdom You allowed those children to be conceived only to take their mother away from them before they could even really know her. They're just babies; they'll never remember what it felt like to be held in her arms or embraced in the warmth of her love. They'll never remember the sound of her voice reading them bedtime stories or scolding them for misbehaving. You can't take that away from them…Please. I can't raise those children alone, God, I can't. If for no other reason, then for the sake of my children, please don't take her away. Abbey and I, we're a team. Without her I'll be lost." Jed's eyes blurred with tears as he looked down on his wife's wedding rings. He was wearing them on his pinkie finger and had been twisting them around and around while he spoke. 

It should have been the "Apostle's Creed" that was running through his head, but instead he was being bombarded with images, much as he had been on Marine One. They were all there, all the big events. The first night he met Abbey and the first time he kissed her. The first time he told her he loved her, and the first time they made love. The day he asked her to marry him and the day she told him she was pregnant. Their wedding day, pregnancies, births, christenings, her graduation, and his inaugurations. There were simple everyday things as well. Watching her consoling a crying daughter and dancing around the kitchen singing with them. Everyday things like bathing the kids and putting their boots on and the sensual pleasure he took in watching her brush her hair at night. But, most of all, the one image that came back to him, time and time again, was that special look that was reserved for him and him only. The way that he would enter a room bone-tired to see her engrossed in paperwork or a book and she would look up at him, her eyes sparkling, a smile of pure happiness crossing her face, as if he had brightened her world by just existing. Nobody but Abbey had ever loved him like that. Nobody but Abbey ever would. 

"I lied when I said that I wasn't being selfish, God. I am being selfish. I'm not just asking for my kids, I'm asking for myself. I need her God; I need her much more than You do. I need to see her beautiful face first thing in the morning. I need to hear her singing our babies to sleep and chewing me out for cursing in front of them. I need her to be there to call me a jackass when I'm being one, or to knock some sense into me when I'm banging my head against the wall because I can't save the entire world. I need her to be there to chase me around with a thermometer and I need to be able to hold her in my arms at night. She's the only one who really KNOWS me, God, and I can't imagine going on with my life without her. Abbey is my not just my wife, God. She's my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my playmate and my partner. She's my life, God. Please don't take her away from me. Please, I'm begging you…. Please." He buried his face on his clasped hands, silent sobs shaking his body. 

Leo stood at the back of the chapel having witnessed the President's impassioned plea. With reddened eyes he made his way forward to the first pew and placed a hand on Jed's shoulder. Leo felt him stiffen and try to pull himself together but when Jed finally looked up at him his eyes were still wet and tormented with grief. 

"Sir, are you all right?" 

"No," Jed choked. "No, I'm not all right. I'm scared to death, Leo. What if I lose her? What am I going to do if I lose her?" 

Leo felt a stab of fear at the thought. "Don't torture yourself with thoughts like that." 

"I can't help it. It just keeps running through my mind over and over. What if I never get to see her again? What if I never get to hear her sass me again or feel her lips on mine? What am I supposed to tell my children?" 

The raw anguish in his friend's voice and on his face caused Leo to pause momentarily as he tried to swallow past the lump in his throat and keep his tears at bay. He, too, had felt pain and fear at the thought of losing Abbey but it was nothing compared to what Jed was going through. If he lost Abbey, the pain of that loss would shake the very foundation of his life and the shock waves of that loss would reverberate throughout the rest of his life. "Abbey's strong. She's going to make it. I know it. She has too much to live for. She won't give up." 

"What if she doesn't have a choice?" 

"When have you ever known Abigail Bartlet not to have a choice?" 

Jed smiled through his tears. "Not too often. She is a bossy little thing, isn't she?" 

"High maintenance right from the get go. Is there anything that I can do to help?" 

Jed paused looking his old friend in the eye. He could see Leo's pain but suddenly the fact that he too loved Abbey brought them closer. The anger was gone with shared grief. "Pray with me." 

"Sir?" 

"I know you lost your faith a long time ago, Leo. But, please pray with me. Abbey needs all the prayers she can get." 

"I have been," Leo said quietly, as he knelt in the pew next to Jed. 

"Have been what?" 

"Praying. I've been praying from the moment your panic button went off." 

They kneeled together side by side; alternately praying and reminiscing about the remarkable woman whose life was hanging in the balance. There they stayed, two of the most powerful men in the world, brought to their knees with the overwhelming sense of being powerless to help the woman they loved. They stayed that way, on aching knees until the silence of the chapel was invaded. 

"Sir?" Jed turned slowly, knowing that voice. It was Dr. Stewart standing behind him, still wearing his scrubs. Ice replaced the blood in his veins and for an instant he didn't want the doctor to speak; he wanted just another moment of not knowing. Not knowing if his entire life was about to be shattered by the news the doctor was about to relate. One more moment of the certain knowledge that his wife was still alive. 


	15. Summer Storms

"It's over? Is Abbey…is she okay?" He held his breath awaiting the doctor's response. 

"The surgery is over. Mrs. Bartlet came through like a trooper." 

"Oh, thank you, Jesus." Jed released the breath he'd been holding and turned to look at a grinning Leo. 

"Now, we're not out of the woods yet, but it's looking a lot better now than it did a few hours ago. We're pumping your wife with massive doses of antibiotics to try to ward off any chance of infection. That's always the big risk when it comes to these sort of ruptures. 

"I'd like to see her. Can I see her?" 

"She's still under the effects of the anesthesia and is heavily sedated." 

"I don't care. I just want to see her. Please." 

It was the pleading look in the President's eye and the "Please" that did Albert Stewart in. This man was the President of the United States. He could very easily have demanded to see his wife, probably would if he was denied, but instead he had politely asked just as any husband would. 

"Okay, I'll take you to see her for a few minutes. Then, once she's out of recovery and in her own room, you can stay with her." 

**** 

Jed entered the post-op recovery room. It was hard not to recoil at the sight of his wife and he had to convince himself that the doctor HAD said that she was going to be okay. She certainly did not look okay. Her hospital gown was pulled down to cover her breasts, yet bare her chest for the round little heart monitors that were plastered there and that sent the tiny little bleeps up to the monitor beside the bed. She still had a breathing tube down her throat and tubes from IV's and catheters seemed to be everywhere. Those tubes and the beeping monitors were scary enough, but it was seeing her face that nearly did Jed in. She was so pale, her lips almost bloodless. He could see the tiny little veins in her eyelids. There was something ethereal about her, as if she were not truly with them any longer. 

Gently, as if he were afraid to touch her, he ran his fingers over her brow, pushing her hair back off her forehead. "She's so pale. Is she really all right?" 

He turned to the nurse who was busy monitoring Abbey's vitals and checking her IV bags. 

"She's fine. She's going to be weak for awhile, but she'll be fine. The rupture of the appendix caused some severe internal bleeding and she did undergo a transfusion, but it won't be long until she gets her color back." 

Jed nodded and turned back to his wife. He touched his fingers to hers, careful not to dislodge the IV needle that ran into the back of her hand. "I'm right here, sweetheart. I told you I wasn't going anywhere. You came through with flying colors and the doctors say you're going to be just fine." 

"Sir?" Dr. Stewart stood behind him. "She really does need her rest." 

"I'm going, I'm going." He turned back to Abbey and bent to drop a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll be waiting for you in your room." He left the recovery room visibly shaken. 

"Sir, I thought Abbey was okay?" Both CJ and Leo were frowning at him. 

"That's what they say." 

"But you look so…so…" 

"I've never seen her like that," Jed said. "The only time Abbey has ever been in the hospital was to have our babies or for her miscarriages. I've never seen her like she was in there." 

"She had surgery for Zoey, didn't she? A C-section?" 

"That was different. She was awake the whole time and I was with her. This looked pretty serious." 

"I'm sure everyone looks pretty serious right after surgery," Leo assured him. "Would you like us to see about getting you a hotel room for the night?" 

"What?" 

"The hurricane is winding down but getting back to Windy Point will be difficult. I think our best bet is to have Ron start working on a hotel room." 

"No. I'm staying with Abbey until she wakes up." 

"Sir, you don't know when…" 

"I promised her, Leo. I'm not leaving here until I know she's out of the woods. But go ahead and get the hotel room. As soon as it's safe, I want Nicholas and Aislinn brought here." 

"Yes, sir." 

**** 

Abbey awoke slowly, disoriented. Her eyes weakly scanned the room taking in the IV poles and the flowers. She had spent most of her adult life in places just like this, so it didn't take her long to realize that she was in a hospital. There was pain down low in her belly and she felt so weak, so tired. What on earth had happened to her? She tried to move her arm but something was heavy on her hand. Her head rolled to the left and she realized that it was Jed. He was lying sprawled out on the straight-backed chair, his hand covering hers. He looked like hell. His shirt was rumpled and un-tucked, his head was bandaged, his hair was mussed, and he had a two day growth of gold and silver on his jaw. Her heart swelled with love for him. 

"J…Jed." Her throat was sore and raspy. 

"Mm…what?" Jed awoke confused and sleepy until he saw Abbey's open eyes. "You're awake!" he beamed. 

"Wh…what happened?" She gestured toward his head. 

"You just underwent an emergency appendectomy, you're hooked to a billion tubes, and you're asking what happened to me?" Jed knew he was grinning like a fool, but he didn't care. It was the first time in a day and half that his wife had been lucid. She was still pale and there were soft gray smudges under her eyes but she was no longer shivering and crying out in pain. 

Abbey smiled weakly. She had so many questions; she wanted to talk to Jed, but her eyelids were so heavy and she was so tired. Jed watched her fighting to keep her eyes open. "It's all right, beautiful, go back to sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up." 

"Promise?" She ran a tongue over her dry lips, her eyes fluttering shut. 

"I promise." He grabbed a tube of chapstick from her bedside table and gentle traced her lips with it. "I'm not going anywhere, not even if Canada invades Michigan." 

Abbey smiled softly and the smile stayed on her lips as she fell back asleep. 

**** 

Jed was true to his word; he did not leave Abbey's side while she flitted in and out of sleep. He sat at her bedside making phone calls, reading the newspaper, watching her sleep, and the only time that he left was when Dr. Stewart booted him out to go and get some coffee while he did a physical examination on her. When Jed returned with his coffee, Abbey was still awake. She smiled when he walked in the door and though there were still shadows under her eyes and she still looked a bit groggy, her eyes held a spark of amusement. 

"You thought I was pregnant?" 

"What? Who told you that?" He sank down on the bed beside her. 

"Dr. Stewart. He said when you brought me in you thought I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. So when exactly did your Ph.D. become an M.D.?" She coughed lightly; her throat was still raspy. 

"It's not funny, Abigail. You scared the crap out of me. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with you. One minute you're telling me that you're having bad menstrual cramps and the next minute you're passed out on the floor of the nursery and the kids are screaming like banshees." 

"I'm sorry," she said contritely, her earlier humor gone. "I really scared them?" 

"Yeah. Nicky climbed out of his crib to sit next to you." 

"That little monkey." 

"You should have seen him. He looked for all the world like a little lost orphan. You don't remember any of it?" 

"Bits and pieces. I remember throwing up, and sitting in front of the fireplace. I remember how comforting it was to hear your voice, but it was like everything was happening from a distance. I remember this god awful burning pain and being so cold I didn't think that I would ever warm up. I seem to remember being on a beach in the wind and the rain and you were singing to me and rocking me in your arms. It was that Sinatra song _Don't Take Your Love From Me_. I guess that doesn't make any sense. I must have been dreaming while I was under the anesthesia." 

"That wasn't a dream. We were bringing you here on Marine One right into the heart of the hurricane. The wind caught us and we were going down. We almost ended up in the ocean but the pilot was able to do a crash landing on a beach. We had to wait for a Humvee to come and get us. I sat with you under a rock overhang, trying to keep you out of the rain, and I did sing to you." 

"We CRASHED? I must have really been out of it not to remember that." 

"Be thankful." 

"It must have been terrifying." She reached her hand out to him. 

"It was." He grasped it, careful not to disturb her IV. 

"Is that where you bumped your head?" 

Jed's hand reached out to touch the bandage. He kept forgetting about that. "Yeah, my head went into the back window." 

"Stitches?" 

"Yeah. No scar," he scowled. 

"Oh, Jed," she laughed, then gasped at the pain. 

"Abbey!" He gripped her hand tightly. 

""It's okay. Just… don't make me laugh. It hurts." 

"Don't they have you on pain meds?" His face darkened and she could see he was ready to rip into the first doctor or nurse who came into the room. 

"Of course they do, but it's still going to hurt." 

"Want some ice chips?" There had to be something he could do to make her feel better. 

Abbey nodded and he began to spoon the ice chips into her mouth. 

"Now, back to this pregnancy thing. What would possess you to think that I would be pregnant?" 

"Well, it's not so inconceivable, sweet knees," he said with indignation. "Look what happened just a couple of years ago." 

"Yeah, when we weren't using our birth control properly. I can assure you that I never skip a day now." 

"AND, remember what we always told the girls? NO birth control is 100% effective, and you and I do like to mess around quite a bit." 

"I like that about us." She smiled, the flirty twinkle back in her eye. 

"I do too, you little minx, but, you know, I guess I figured that maybe we tempted fate one too many times. When I saw you doubled over in pain…It brought back…you know…" 

"Peter," she said, softly, the smiling fading from her lips. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have teased you. That must have been awful." 

Jed nodded the pain evident on his face, but before he could continue with the conversation he noticed that her eyes were getting heavy again. 

"I think you better get some more rest and regain your strength. I don't want to wear you out. Not this way anyway." He winked. 

"Jed," she shook her head with a smile. "Are you staying?" 

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, then I'm going to run over to the hotel and check on the kids. Your agent Mike has been with them and he's probably ready to pull his hair out by now." 

"I want to see them. I feel so awful. They must have been so scared seeing me like that." 

"They're okay. I'll bring them over in the morning after you get a good night's rest." 

"You get some sleep too, Jed. Take care of your head. Don't take aspirin just in case you have a concussion and…" 

"Hey, doc. You just get some sleep – me and the kids will be fine. Goodnight." He kissed her forehead and Abbey sighed when he began to stroke his fingers through the soft strands of her hair. A soft smile curved on her lips when the comforting sound of his voice whispered against her ear as he began to sing her to sleep, just as he had under that rock overhang on the windswept beach. 

> _"Tear a star from out of the sky_  
>  And the sky feels blue.   
> Tear a petal from a rose   
> And the rose weeps too.   
> Take your heart away from mine   
> And mine will surely break.   
> My life is yours to make   
> So please keep the spark awake. 
> 
> Would you take the wings from birds   
> So that they can't fly?   
> Would you take the ocean's roar   
> And leave just a sigh?   
> All this your heart won't let you do   
> This is what I beg of you   
> Don't take your love from me.

**** 

It turned out that 'fine' had been optimistic on Jed's part. The children had been cranky, overtired and clingy. They had spent the past day and a half in the middle of a raging storm with a man they barely knew, crying for their parents and not sleeping well at all. Initially, they had been thrilled to see Jed; and he had laughingly sat on the floor letting them crawl all over him, tickling them and kissing them. But, when it came for bed and he tried to settle them into their port-a-cribs, they had cried for their mother so long and so hard that he was thankful they had the whole floor to themselves. Finally, needing desperately to get a few hours of shut-eye, he made them each a bottle and tucked them up in bed with him, cuddling them close to his warm body and rubbing their shuddering little backs. He fell asleep to their soft sniffles and the sucking sounds they made as they drank their bottles. 

CJ and Leo arrived early the next morning to find the three still in bed. Jed awoke at the knock and ushered them in. He sat up sleepily in the big bed while the kids slept on. CJ's heart warmed at the sight father and children made in that rumpled bed. They were adorable, all three of them, and while she respected the intelligent, politically astute and compassionate person the President was, it was the husband, man and father that she loved. He was the big brother she'd never really had – the kind of man that one day she hoped to find for herself. She got closer and peered down on the sleeping children. 

"I love watching them like this. They're like little angels." She looked up and saw the President frowning and looking under the covers. "What's wrong?" she asked. 

"One of these little angels peed on me." He threw back the covers revealing a large wet spot on the sheet and on the thigh of his pajama bottoms. It didn't take long to find the culprit. In his exhaustion, he had not tightened the velcro on Aislinn's diaper tight enough and it was lying wide open on one side. 

Neither CJ nor Leo could hold back the laughter they were trying to suppress. 

"I'm glad you two find this situation so humorous. How about a little help here?" 

"What can I do?" CJ laughed. 

Jed rolled Nicholas over and groaned when he saw the little boy was damp as well. "Help me get them undressed. I'm going to take a quick bath with both of them. Leo, have room service bring up some breakfast. The kids like scrambled eggs and ketchup." 

"No, you like scrambled eggs and ketchup and I thought Abbey was trying to keep them from developing that disgusting habit." 

"Too late. It's in the genes." He looked down on his sleeping daughter and brushed his lips over her forehead. "Come on, sunshine, wake up." Aislinn rolled over, snuggling closer into his waist, ignoring him. "Come on, Ash, Daddy's going to take you to go see Mommy today. We can bring her some flowers." 

"Mommy…" Aislinn opened sleepy green eyes and smiled at her father, that smile that never failed to make his heart flip flop. Leo watched with fascination as Aislinn frowned in a look very reminiscent of her father. "I WET…" 

"Yes, you are, munchkin. That's why you, me and Nicky are going to go take a bath while Uncle Leo orders us breakfast." He got out of bed and began to pad across the carpet with a naked child on each hip. 

"CJ," he called over his shoulder, "make sure we leave housekeeping a VERY big tip for cleaning that bed." 

"We'll also make sure she knows the kids slept with you," Leo assured him with amusement. 

"Oh that's right," CJ caught on. "I mean it would be horrible if word leaked out that the leader of the free world still wets the bed." 

Jed scowled back at the two of them and made his way into the bathroom, shutting the door against the sound of their laughter. 

**** 

Just over an hour later with the children cleaned and fed, Jed sat on the floor trying to put a clean diaper on Aislinn, who was not so keen about having one on at all. She threw herself back, straightening her legs and fighting him, until Jed placed a big hand on her belly pinning her down. "You stop this right now, Aislinn," he said firmly, "or I am not going to bring you to see Mommy." 

The threat was sufficient enough to get Aislinn to stop fighting and Jed was able to finish dressing her in her favorite purple overalls with the big flower on the bib. Amazingly enough she didn't fight him when he put her sneakers on, or when he combed her hair and worked on getting the wispy curls into tiny pigtails. 

CJ sat with Nicholas on her lap watching the President. He held a hair tie with a purple bow on it clenched between his teeth and, with a look of supreme concentration, he was working to make a perfect part in his daughter's hair before twisting the hair tie into it with practiced ease. 

"You're pretty good at that," CJ said impressed. 

"Practice, CJ. Years and years of practice. Three daughters and a wife that worked. You bet your a…" He gazed sheepishly down at Aislinn's blond little head, a vision of an Abbey glare imprinted on his brain. "…life I learned how to fix hair. I learned early on that while little boys could not care less what their hair looks like, little girls will not even go to the park without having a ponytail or braids. The only thing I never really mastered was French braiding. Abbey tried to teach me but I just couldn't get the hang of it." He smiled up at them and Leo was starkly reminded of what different fathers they had been to their children. He had no idea if Mallory wouldn't go to the park without having her hair done or not – he'd rarely gone to the park with her. He didn't know what a scrunchy was or even what the difference was between a regular braid and a French braid. As he watched Jed finish his task with quiet confidence and the way Aislinn turned in his lap when he was done and gave him a big wet kiss on the jaw, the pain of what he had missed out on cut to the quick. 

"Are we ready to go?" he asked abruptly. 

"I think so." Jed heaved the diaper bag up onto his shoulders and turned just in time to see Nicholas wrench the small bouquet of flowers out of Aislinn's hand. Before Aislinn could reach out to hit him, Jed stepped between the two. 

"Nicholas Josiah Bartlet, I don't ever want to see you take something away from your sister like that again." Jed took the flowers from him and handed them back to Aislinn. Nicky's bottom lip began to tremble and he looked up at Jed with hurt eyes. 

"Mummy fowers." A big tear trailed down his cheek. 

"You want to give Mommy flowers, too?" Jed asked. 

Nicholas nodded eyeing the flowers his sister held. 

"Well, all you had to do was ask, son. I bought a bouquet for you, too." Jed walked to the table and picked up the other small bouquet that lay near the dozen yellow roses he had ordered for himself to give Abbey. Nicholas took the flowers from his father with a wide smile that revealed Abbey's dimple in his cheek. Jed tousled his hair affectionately then turned toward the door. "Okay then, if everybody's happy now we should hit the road. Let's go visit Mommy." 


	16. Summer Storms

The day had dawned sunny and calm, without a hint of the tumultuous weather that had been experienced the previous day. A crowd had gathered around the Medical Center hoping for a glimpse of the President and his children. The press was anxious to see how the President looked. The pictures that had been taken of him the night before when he was leaving the hospital were that of an exhausted, grizzled, emotionally drained man and many were left to wonder if the First Lady wasn't in worse shape than they were being told. 

The crowd was not disappointed as it did not take long for the smaller than usual presidential motorcade to make its way to the hospital. As soon as a clean-shaven, more rested President got out of the car and started up the stairs holding a flower-laden child's hand in each of his, chaos erupted. Cameras flashed, bright lights from the TV crews were aimed at them, and reporters were shoving each other out of the way to get closer to the ropes that barricaded them and screaming questions toward the threesome. 

"NICHOLAS, LOOK THIS WAY!" 

"AISLINN, SHOW US THE FLOWERS YOU BROUGHT FOR YOUR MOTHER!" 

Both children were startled; they were usually only in front of the press in controlled environments. Neither was used to the frenzy of the paparazzi or the excitement of the crowd. Jed felt Aislinn move in closer to him, clutching tightly to his pants and burying her face into his leg. Nicholas simply stopped in his tracks and stared at the screaming reporters with a 'deer in the headlights' look. 

"Guys, you're scaring my kids," Jed scowled at them. "Can you tone it down a bit, please." It wasn't a question – it was a forceful demand. He lifted a child up on to each hip and made his way quickly to the hospital entrance, anxious to get them away from that madness. 

Just outside Abbey's room he set them down so that he could poke his head in the door. She was sleeping, but the book that lay across her chest and the fact that her glasses were still on led him to believe that she was simply dozing. 

"Abbey?" 

"Mmm…" Abbey opened her eyes and smiled when she saw Jed in the doorway. "What're you doing way over there? I'm not contagious." 

"You tired?" 

"A little, why?" 

"Well, I did have a couple little visitors for you but if you're too tired…" He started to shut the door. 

"Don't you dare, Jed. You bring them in here." 

Jed grinned broadly and opened the door allowing their two little ones to race into the room at full speed. 

"Mummy!" they shouted. Before Jed could stop him, Nicholas had catapulted himself against Abbey's bed, jarring her and causing her to groan in pain. 

"Nicky, stop." Jed grabbed the boy by the back of his pants and pulled him off the bed he was trying to climb up onto. 

"It's okay, Jed." Abbey held her hand over her bandaged incision and winced. "He doesn't understand." 

Jed kneeled down in front of his two solemn-eyed children. "You two need to be careful with Mommy. Her belly hurts so don't go jumping up and down around her." 

"Put them up with me." Abbey held her arms out. 

"Abbey," Jed warned. 

"It's okay, really. They'll be fine." 

Jed set a child on each side of Abbey on the bed, careful not to jar her with the movement. Nicholas twisted in her arms and thrust his bouquet in her face. "Fowers," he told her. 

"I see that. They're beautiful, Nicholas. Thank you." 

"Me too." Not to be outdone Aislinn placed her flowers on Abbey's chest. 

"Yours are beautiful too, little miss me too. Jed, could you…" 

Jed nodded and took the flowers from her to place them in water. 

"Daddy fowers," Nicholas pointed. 

Abbey turned to see the dozen yellow roses Jed was putting in the vase next to the ones the kids brought. Yellow roses were her favorite "cheering up" flower. She should have known that Jed would remember that, but it still did her heart good to see that he did. "Yes, I see Daddy's flowers. You all did a wonderful job picking them out and they're already making me feel better." She kissed the top of Nicky's wheat blond head, inhaling deeply the scent of Johnson's baby shampoo. "You smell so good," she told him. "I've missed you guys so much." 

"Daddy pooed," Nicholas told her. 

"Daddy pooed?" Abbey flashed a funny look at Jed and he burst into laughter. 

"He means I shampooed his hair. The three of us took a nice bath this morning after Miss Aislinn had a little accident in the bed." 

"Accident?" she frowned, looking down at Aislinn who was playing with the strings on her hospital gown. 

"I was a little tired when I got home last night. I guess I didn't put her diaper on well. We all slept together and she peed all over us." 

Abbey laughed but the sharp pain that stabbed through her with her laughter caused her to gasp and double over. 

"Mama hoot?" Nicholas asked her. She could see the uncertainty in those big blue eyes and knew he had to be remembering the way she had been at cottage. 

"Yeah, sweetie, it hurts all right, but I'm going to be just fine." 

Nicholas leaned down and placed a kiss where her IV needle entered her hand assuming that was where she hurt. 

Abbey gazed over at Jed. "He is so cute," she mouthed over their son's head. Jed nodded his agreement with a paternal smile of pride. 

"Lolly, Mummy?" Aislinn held out the sticky purple lollipop one of the nurses had given her. Dutifully, Abbey took a lick. 

"That's a really good lollipop, Aislinn. Thank you for sharing." 

"Gape." Aislinn tried to sit up to give her mother another taste but only proceeded to get it stuck in Abbey's hair. 

"Yes, it is grape." Abbey tried to reach up to take the lollipop from her hair but Jed saw her wince. 

"Abbey, wait." He leaned over and gently began to pry the strands of hair off the lollipop. "Okay, you two little hooligans. Let's get down and give Mommy a break." He lifted children off the bed and handed them the diaper bag that held their toys. While they contentedly began to play on the floor, Jed sat on the edge of the bed. 

"So, how did you get them in here anyway? The way I remember it kids aren't allowed up here." 

"Yeah, well, I'm a pretty important guy. I have a little pull." 

"A little pull, huh?" She reached out a hand to run her fingers over the fine golden hair of his forearm. 

"Being the President does have its perks at times." 

"Well, whatever strings you had to pull, I'm glad you did." Her eyes fell on the two children who were playing so quietly on the floor, the sun spilling through the window onto their shiny blond heads. "Thank you for bringing them, Mr. President." 

"Anything to see you smile, pretty lady." He lifted her hand to his lips. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Bartlet." Dr. Stewart came sweeping in the room. "How are you feeling today?" 

"A little more human, I think." 

"Well, that's good. I'm going to examine your incision then take another blood test to make sure the antibiotics are fighting the infection. If all goes well, you should be able to leave tomorrow morning." 

"Tomorrow?" Jed faced him with astonishment. It was only yesterday that she had been on death's door. 

"Yes. In fact as soon as I finish my examination, how would you like to take a stroll with your husband?" 

"A stroll? How the hell can she go for a stroll? She just had major surgery, for crying out loud. It hurts her just to laugh. She shouldn't be out of bed walking around." 

"Jed," Abbey grabbed his wrist. "Don't go off the deep end here. I have to get up and walk around. The sooner I do, the faster I'll heal." 

Dr. Stewart nodded his head at Abbey in agreement while Jed drew his hand through his hair with exasperation. "You doctors always stick together, don't you?" he grumbled. 

"It's part of the oath," Abbey grinned. 

As Dr. Stewart had requested, when the examination was over, Abbey slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed. She stopped to take a few deep breaths and Jed bent over to grab her elbow and help lift her to her feet. She gave a soft cry of pain and hunched over, her arms curling protectively around her midriff as she was lifted onto her feet. Jed cringed at the cry and the tears that pooled in her eyes and held her tightly to his side. 

"Ah, dammit, Abbey. I think you should lie back down. You're not ready for this, babe." 

"I'm okay…I'm okay, just give me a minute." She inhaled deeply. "Oh, shit, Jed, this hurts." 

Aislinn and Nicholas turned from where they were playing on the floor to stare at their mother with awe. She never used that word in front of them. She could see Nicholas open his mouth to mimic her. 

Abbey pointed a stern finger at them, realizing her mistake. "Don't either of you DARE use that word," she admonished, then turned to Jed and Dr. Stewart "Why is it the swear words that they always want to mimic?" 

"Probably because they get a rise out of us," Dr. Stewart grinned. "How are you doing? You feeling okay?" 

"I feel like when I had my C-section. Like if I stand up straight my sutures will rip and everything will come falling out." 

"That's a pleasant picture," Jed groaned. 

Dr. Stewart laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about that happening, I promise. I put your sutures in nice and tight. Just take it easy and slow." 

Abbey began to move forward. She was still very shaky and she was leaning heavily on Jed and hanging on desperately to the IV pole she had to drag along with her. She had barely made it across the room, still protectively hunching over, when her parents entered. Michael O'Neill stopped in his tracks – his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Abbey trying to walk. Devoid of make-up, her hair hanging straight and loose as she padded barefoot across the room wearing only a hospital gown, she looked terribly young and fragile and vulnerable. His heart beat erratically when he thought of how close he had come to losing her; even Beth didn't know how close they had come. He hadn't wanted to worry her. 

"Menstrual cramps, Abigail?" He shook his head. 

"Dad," Abbey groaned. "It was an honest mistake." 

"You should have paid more attention to your body, to your symptoms. That pain in your lower quo…" 

"Michael, you hush," Beth slapped his arm lightly and moved forward to kiss her daughter's cheek. "I seem to remember a time when a certain doctor, who shall remain nameless, was completely convinced that he merely had a common cold, when in actuality he had pneumonia. You're all alike, you doctors. You make the worst patients." Both Michael and Abbey had the good sense to look sheepish. Beth took Abbey's chin in her hand and lifted her face to examine her critically. "Abigail, you're looking a little peaked." 

"I just had surgery, Mom. I'm supposed to look peaked." 

"I mean just from when we entered the room. You've gotten awfully pale. I think you better lay back down." 

"I think I should too." Suddenly, Abbey felt weary beyond belief. Just walking around the room had exhausted her and she realized it was going to take a while to build her strength back up. Jed helped her back into bed and he and her mother began tucking her in and plumping her pillows, while Michael sat back on the chair, both his grandchildren clamoring to climb up into his lap. For one of the few times in her life, Abbey relaxed back and allowed them to fuss over her. She knew that when her kids were sick she always felt better when she was able to do something for them and that was all Jed and her mother were doing. She also knew that when she wasn't feeling quite so out of sorts and so weak that their attentiveness would begin to drive her crazy, but for right now it felt pretty nice. 

The brief walk and all the excitement of the morning had pretty much done Abbey in; so while she went back to sleep, her parents made the quick trip back to the hotel with Jed and the twins. There the children could have their lunch and a quick nap before heading back for another visit later in the afternoon when the rest of their children had arrived. 

**** 

Abbey awoke slowly to the sounds of whispering voices and opened her eyes to see four red-gold heads peering down on her and making comments as to the general state of her well being. 

"She looks really pale." That was Zoey. 

"I can't believe that she didn't diagnose herself sooner." Ellie the intern had to add her two cents. 

"You know Mom. She gets after us with every little sniffle but she thinks SHE'S invincible." Liz sat on the edge of the bed. 

"I always thought she was too," Annie added, tears choking her voice. 

"Will you four quick talking about me like I'm not here?" Abbey opened her eyes and Jed had to hold Annie back before she gave Abbey the enthusiastic hug he saw coming. 

"Gently," he said, softly. "She's still pretty sore." 

Abbey watched Annie hesitate, uncertain how to proceed. "Give me a hug, love." Abbey stretched out her arms and Annie laid her head softly against Abbey's chest. 

"I was so scared for you." The tears were flowing freely now and the girls' and Jed's eyes began to burn as well. "I was watching a movie on TV when they had a special report to say that Marine One had gone down." 

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry you had to hear about it that way, but you know I don't even remember the crash. You'll have to ask your granddad about that. He's the one who ended up with the bump on the head." 

"Because he didn't put his seatbelt on so he could cover you and protect you from the crash. I know. CJ told me." 

Abbey looked over Annie's head at Jed with wide, questioning eyes. He hadn't told her that part of the story. "We'll talk about this later," she mouthed over Annie's head. Jed looked down at the floor sheepishly, knowing he would have to come clean. 

Oblivious to the silent communication going on between her grandparents, Annie continued on. "Gramps called us and said you were going to be okay but I was watching CNN all day and they had all these doctors on saying how dangerous a burst appendix is and that you could die." 

"Well, you should know by now, Annabel Lee, that your grandfather is always right – at least in his own little world." 

That caused Annie to laugh and broke the emotion of the moment. 

**** 

"Thank God it's summer," Abbey said. Her voice was muffled because Jed was helping her dress to go home and was in the process of slipping the casual lavender sundress, that she had requested he bring from Windy Point, over her head. 

"Why?" he asked as he started to button up the tiny buttons on the back of the dress. 

"Because I can go bare legged. I can't imagine having to put pantyhose on." Her stomach was still very tender and sore. Abbey could hear him muttering and cursing under his breath as he tried to work the small buttons through the holes with his very masculine fingers. "Trouble?" she asked. 

"Just a bit. I may be an expert on getting you UNDRESSED but dressing you is an entirely different story." 

"That's because when you undress me, depending on your frustration level, you just rip whatever I'm wearing off my body." 

"Why do they have to make the damn buttons so small?" 

Jed was still struggling with the buttons on his wife's dress when Dr. Stewart entered. 

"All ready to go home, Abbey?" 

"All set." 

"I've got your prescriptions filled for the antibiotics and the pain medication." 

"Did you decide on the codeine laced Tylenol?" she asked. 

"Yes, it's a little stronger than the Tylenol Three, but shouldn't make you too loopy. Don't be afraid to take your pain meds." 

"She will," Jed assured him confidently. 

"I do want to see you continue to walk around and keep moving but I also want you to rest and NO heavy lifting." 

"What would constitute as heavy?" she asked. 

"She won't be lifting ANYTHING, don't worry." Jed disregarded her question drawing an irritated glare from his wife. 

"I'm sure that everything will be fine but if you have any abdominal pain that is different from what you're experiencing now, if your sutures become inflamed, or if you develop a fever I want you to come right back in. Those are all signs that the antibiotics are not working on the infection. Now, I'm going to send you back with a private nurse and she…" 

"Wait a minute. Nobody said anything about a private nurse," Jed stopped him. 

"Sir, Mrs. Bartlet is going to need somebody there to care for her." 

"That's what I'M here for," he insisted. 

"But what if something happens. What if a crisis comes up and you can't be there?" 

"Then I'll be there," Beth said, entering the room. 

"Mom, I can't ask you to come nurse me back to health," Abbey protested. 

"And why ever not? I'm your mother. I've nursed you back to health more times than I can remember." 

"I know that but…" 

"You better not be just about to say that I'm too old. Abbey, you dropped everything to take care of me last year. If it weren't for you and your father I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I wouldn't be talking and walking as well as I am." 

"Mom, you don't OWE me anything. I did it because you're my mother and I love you." 

"Exactly, and you're my daughter and I love you. Besides taking care of you and the children will make me feel useful again. That comes in short supply when you're my age." 

"Fine, but I don't want you wearing yourself out chasing the twins around. Let Jed do that." She smiled sweetly at her husband. "At least until Isabelle comes back." She turned to face Dr. Stewart. "The Democratic National Convention is just around the corner. How long will I be out of commission?" 

"If everything goes well and you take it easy, you should be fine in a couple of weeks." 

"The convention is in four weeks." 

"You should have no problem being properly recuperated by then." 

"You're sure?" Jed turned to the doctor. "I don't want her pushing herself just for the convention. She can be very stubborn sometimes." 

"Jed, I'm standing RIGHT HERE," Abbey said with exasperation. 

"Four weeks should be plenty of time, sir." Dr. Stewart smothered a smile and turned to see an orderly enter the room with a wheelchair. 

"You're chariot awaits, Madame." Jed bent at the waist and ushered her into the chair. Abbey scowled and sat in the chair, her eyes glowering at the silver walker that had come as well. "WHAT is that?" she asked. 

"That's a walker to help you…" 

"I KNOW what it is. What is it doing in here? I've been up and walking." 

"Yeah, around this room and the halls. There's a long walk from the hospital entrance to the street. Dr. Stewart thought it would be easier if you used the walker." 

"I'm not using that old lady contraption," she said adamantly. 

"Then how will you get to the car? We're going out a side exit. There is no wheelchair ramp." 

"I'll use you." 

"Me?" 

"Yes, I can hang onto your arm just the way I've been doing walking around in here." 

Jed's gaze fell on Dr. Stewart who had been standing across the room, trying not to get involved in the conversation. 

"I guess it will be alright," he said. "Just make sure that you rest when you get back to the cottage." 

"Oh, you can be sure of that, Doc. I haven't gotten to play nursemaid for my wife since, well, since she came home from the hospital with the twins. She's going to get plenty of rest and she is NOT going to lift a pinkie." The last statement was a forceful one aimed at Abbey, not the doctor. 

"Are you sure that private nurse isn't still available?" Abbey asked, hopefully. Jed in protective mode was a sight to behold and she knew that within the week she'd be going stir crazy. 

"Not on you're life, hot pants. I've already applied and gotten the job. You're stuck with me. Now let's hit the road." 

Abbey smiled weakly at Dr. Stewart, behind Jed's back. "Thanks a lot," she mouthed. 

Dr. Stewart chuckled and watched the President head out through the door pushing his wife's wheelchair. What he wouldn't give to be a fly on the walls of their cottage over the next couple of weeks. 


	17. Summer Storms

Her first morning back at Windy Point, Abbey awoke, not to the soothing sound of the surf and the gulls, but to the obnoxious clanging of pots and pans down in the kitchen. She groaned and started to roll over to hide her head under the pillow but gave a sharp intake of breath at the pain in her lower side. It was only then that she remembered the surgery that she'd had just a couple of days ago. She placed a hand over the throbbing spot down low on her belly. 

"Jed!" she called out to him, but in lieu of a response, the clanging of the pans simply got louder and louder. She slowly rose from the bed and slipped on a light summer wrap to make her way down the stairs. 

"Oh my GOD! What have you done to my kitchen?!" 

Jed turned from where he was scrambling eggs to see Abbey standing in the doorway with an outraged look of astonishment. "Abbey, what in the hell are you doing out of bed?" 

"You expected me to sleep with World War Three going on down here? I came down to see what all the racket was about and it's a damn good thing I did, isn't it?" Her eyes scanned the room. Having pulled out every pot and pan that they owned from under the sink, Nicholas sat in the middle of the kitchen floor banging them together with glee. Aislinn was in her high chair, her face and hair sticky with the ketchup from her eggs. Max was seated at her feet licking eggs and ketchup off the floor. 

"I'm sorry that he woke you, but it was the only way I could keep him occupied and work on making breakfast." 

Abbey nodded and made her way to the sink where she began to wet a sponge. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Jed had to shout over the racket that their son was making as he happily continued to pound away on his pots and pans. 

"I'm going to start cleaning this mess. This place is a disaster, Jed." Her nerves frayed, she looked down at her son. "That's enough noise, Nicholas." Jed saw her flinch with pain as she bent to take away the offending pan. 

"That's it, Abigail. Out of here now." 

"Excuse me?" Abbey's hands went on her hips, sparks flying from her green eyes. 

"You heard me. You're supposed to be recuperating from major surgery. You should still be in bed. I can take care of things, trust me." 

Abbey's skeptical eyes fell back on the mess in the kitchen. 

"I'm going to take care of this mess, just like I'm going to take care of you AND of the kids. Now, go back up to bed and I'll bring you your breakfast." 

"I'm not going back up to bed. You heard Dr. Stewart. I'm supposed to walk around." 

"Yeah, well, that doesn't constitute cleaning. Go sit on the porch and I'll bring your breakfast out to you." 

"Just tea and toast. I don't think my stomach could take much else yet. Are you going to…" She gestured to the room. 

"Yes, I'm going to clean up the mess," he sighed. 

Abbey nodded and made her way slowly out to the porch where she settled back on the wicker chaise. 

Back inside Jed surveyed his offspring who were gazing up at him with innocent eyes. 

"Okay, you two. We need to show your mother that I can do this. You gotta quit getting me in trouble." 

"Out, out." Aislinn lifted her arms up to her father. 

"I'll take you out, hon, but don't think you're going to play on the floor with Nicky. We're going to clean up and bring Mommy her breakfast. Okay?" 

"Okay, Daddy," she grinned and patted his cheeks with her ketchup stained hands. 

Jed cleaned and dressed the children quickly, leaving the mess in the kitchen so he could bring Abbey her breakfast. When he leaned down to place the tray beside her, Abbey sniffed at his cheek. 

"What?" he asked. 

She wet her thumb and traced it along his cheekbone. "Ketchup." 

"Abbey," he protested, backing away like a child. 

"Honestly, Jed, you're worse than Nicholas." 

Jed sat down heavily on the porch swing. He looked tired. 

"You sure you want to do this? I mean I can call New Hampshire and have Mrs. Morrison come and at least take care of the house." 

"You're not calling our housekeeper, Abbey. I can handle this. I did it plenty of times when the girls were younger." 

"It was different then, Jed. You didn't have double trouble." Her eyes fell on the twins who were now playing together on the floor. 

"The truth is, I miss it, Abbey. I miss taking care of the kids on a daily basis, making their food, dressing them, and giving them their baths. This is giving me a chance, at least for a little while to regain that bond. Besides, once your mother gets here it will be a little easier." 

**** 

"Yes, Ben, yes, I understand. We're sending negotiators over but you're going to have to do your part…wait a minute, hold on." He yanked the phone back out of Aislinn's grasp and put it back to his ear. "Sorry about that, please go on…" 

After awakening from an afternoon nap outside on the chaise, Abbey had re-entered the cottage and found Jed on the phone with the Prime Minister of Israel. Nicholas sat at his feet repeatedly running his choo-choo train over his father's foot, while Aislinn squirmed around on his lap trying to grab the phone and kiss his face, all the while babbling away to him. 

Abbey choked back an amused chuckle as Aislinn gave Jed a loud raspberry on the jaw and he had to explain to the Prime Minister exactly what was going on. When he finally hung up, Jed sank back in his chair and closed his eyes wearily. Aislinn squeezed his nose and giggled loudly at his exclamation of surprise, which finally gave Abbey away as she succumbed to laughter. 

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked. 

"Just long enough to hear you have to explain to the Israeli Prime Minister what a raspberry is." 

"You could have come in and helped me." 

Abbey put her hands up in the air in surrender. "Yes, I suppose I could have. But that would be against Jed Bartlet's rules. I'm not allowed to help, remember? Well, I'm off to watch a sappy chick flick. Don't forget it's past their naptime. Good luck." 

Jed scowled at Abbey's departing form. He had a sneaking suspicion that the woman was actually enjoying his struggles with the twins. 

It was a half-hour fight with his children to get them down for their naps and Jed finally gave up. He had too much to do to worry about getting the kids to sleep. Besides, if they didn't nap they'd go to bed earlier and going to bed early sounded pretty fine to him. He shut the baby gate in the kitchen, set them on the floor and set to making the kitchen somewhat presentable again. He didn't want his mother-in-law arriving and thinking that he was out of his element. By the time he finished putting everything away and cleaning, he eyed Abbey's cookbooks ruefully. He had pulled them out of the cupboard having planned on making her a special gourmet meal, but it was getting a little late to start on that. Instead, he dug in the refrigerator, found some boneless chicken, and began cutting it up to make a stir-fry. He was pretty proud of himself, humming away while the chicken and vegetables simmered away in the wok, but that was when he realized that the twins had stopped babbling to him and each other and had been very quiet for too long. He turned to find both of them curled up against Max, using his belly as a pillow, and they were both sound asleep. 

"You didn't want to sleep in your cribs, but you'll sleep on the hard tiled floor of the kitchen," he muttered, but his muttering was through the smile that he couldn't keep from curving across his lips. He turned the wok off and carried each sleeping child up to its crib before returning to the kitchen to finish dinner. Unfortunately he had forgotten to turn the burner off for the rice and he was left with what he concluded to be a sticky mess. But, it was too late to improvise so he simply lay the stir-fry on top of the rice hoping Abbey wouldn't notice how sticky it was. 

"Abbey?" He kissed her temple gently. 

"Mmmm." She rolled over sleepily. 

"How are you feeling? Ready for supper?" 

"I think so," she yawned. "Those pain pills really knock me out. Hopefully I can stop taking them in a couple of days." She noticed that Jed had set up a little table by the window of their bedroom. "I could have come down to the kitchen, you know." 

"I know, but I also know how those pills do you in. We'll just have a nice relaxing supper in here. Just the two of us." 

"Just the two of us?" Her eyes narrowed. "Where are the kids?" 

"Napping." 

Abbey glanced at her watch. "Napping?!" she exclaimed. "My God, Jed, it's almost 6 o'clock. Why on earth are they napping now?" 

"I couldn't get them to sleep this afternoon so I figured I would just put them to bed earlier tonight." 

"Let me guess. They fell asleep." 

"Yeah, in the middle of the kitchen floor," he sighed. 

Abbey bit back a smile at that resigned sigh. "You do realize that they are going to be up all night now, don't you?" 

"I suppose they will. Honestly, I don't know how you do it, Abbey. I'm wiped out." 

"Most of the time I have help, Jed. Have you forgotten about Izzy and that huge White House staff that cooks our food, cleans our residence and does our laundry. I can hardly qualify for homemaker of the year." 

"Just keeping up with those kids is a full time job, never mind all the rest of it and you do it so easily." 

"Not easily, Jed. I just have more practice. Believe me, it was a big adjustment dealing with two infants and now two toddlers as opposed to one. It's been a whole new experience for me." 

"You're a good mother, Abigail." 

"You say that as if you're surprised," she laughed. "We do have three other children together." 

"No, I'm not surprised. I just don't think I tell you often enough just how happy I am that you are the mother of my children – ALL of my children." 

"Why, Jed, that was an incredibly sentimental thing to say. Thank you." 

"I'm feeling a little sentimental lately. You really scared me this week. I don't want to let anything go unsaid – EVER. I never want it to be too late to tell you or the kids just how I feel. 

Abbey gazed into his troubled blue eyes feeling the prick of tears in her own. It was obvious that her husband had been greatly affected by her near death experience. She had a feeling that was what all this "Mr. Mom" stuff was all about. He wanted to show her and the children just how much he loved them and how he could be there for them and she found that more moving and eloquent than any three page epic poem of love could ever be. So the chicken was a little dry, the rice a little sticky, and the children were napping at six in the evening – none of that mattered to her. Jed had proven just as he always had, that when the chips were down, when she needed him the most, he would always be there to take care of her and that was a very safe and warm feeling. 

"I love that you want to take care of us, Jed. It makes me feel very protected." 

"I'll always want to take care of you, Abs. You're my girl." 

Abbey reached out a hand to cover his. "Just don't go overboard," she warned him with a twinkle in her eye. "And speaking of overboard, what was this that Annie said about you not putting your seatbelt on so you could stay with me?" 

"I had to. You didn't see that angry ocean, Abbey. There were swells that were at least fifty feet high – spray everywhere – and it looked like we were going down into that mess. You were unconscious and strapped to the gurney. There's no way you would have survived it. You would have drowned. I had to stay with you." 

"You could have been killed when we crashed like that. You could have flown right through that window." 

Jed simply stared at the floor. She was right. He didn't have a comeback. 

"Jed." She reached across the table and lifted his chin to look into the depths of his beautiful eyes. She ran a gentle thumb over the bandage on his temple. "I'm serious. You could have been killed." 

His eyes held hers, unwavering. "So what?" he asked bluntly. 

"What do you mean, so what?" 

"Exactly what I said. I had to take the chance. I'd have rather died and gone on with you than spend the rest of my life without you. Just what kind of a life do you think I'd have without you anyway?" 

"Jed." Tears pooled in her eyes. "You're getting me all mushy tonight." 

"I like you all mushy." He lifted her fingers to his lips, happy to see that her rings were back exactly where they belonged and he kissed the back of her fingers. 

**** 

After finishing supper, Jed steeled himself against his squeamishness and changed Abbey's bandage, checking for any of the warning signs Dr. Stewart had said to be on the lookout for. It was a very small incision – down low, close to her pubis, a tiny scar no one but he and her doctors would ever see. He flinched at her sharp intake of breath when he applied the antiseptic. 

"Sorry." He quickly looked up to see the tears in her eyes. "Does it hurt real bad?" 

"It's okay. It just stings a little." She watched him gnaw on his bottom lip, his brow furrowed with concentration as he applied a new bandage trying not to hurt her. "You're doing fine, babe," she assured him. 

With the bandages changed and pain medication given, they decided to relax and lay back in bed to watch a movie. The movie had just started when the doorbell rang and Max began to bark. Jed left to see who it was, knowing it would be family or staff since they had been allowed past the Service without an announcement. 

After just a few moments Jed returned. "I brought you a visitor," he said sticking his head in the door to make sure that Abbey was covered. When he'd left her she had been wearing just one of his pajama tops because the bottoms bothered her incision. He waited until she had pulled the quilt over her bare legs, then allowed Leo entry. 

Leo entered the bedroom much differently than he had in the past. He was tentative and uncomfortable at finding Abbey in bed. 

"Hi, Leo. Come on in." She smiled at him with affection, that while deserved, still wreaked havoc with Jed's emotions. Unaware of her husband's feelings, she urged Leo to pull up a chair. He did so, his discomfort growing. Visiting her would have been so much easier if she had been weak and sick like she had been in the hospital. Instead, she looked lovely. Her copper curls were bright against the snowy white pillows she was propped up against and there was a faint hint of color back in her cheeks. Her wide sea green eyes sparkled with warmth. His fingers itched to reach out and caress one of those silky curls or slide gently down the curve of her cheekbone The baggy pajama top, obviously Jed's, was not anything more revealing than he'd seen her in before so he didn't know why his mouth had suddenly gone so dry. Was it because she was lying in bed and his mind had begun to wander into what she might be wearing under those covers? Was it because when she moved to sit up the top gaped open affording him a glance at the creamy swell of a braless breast? Was it because he could see the outline of her nipples through the thin silk? Was it simply because he was seeing her in bed and his traitorous mind could recall every erotic dream he'd ever had about having her in his bed. His face flushed with those memories as if Abbey could read his mind and see exactly how he was picturing her. 

Abbey was aware of Leo's discomfort but instead of acknowledging it, she chose to ignore it. Jed did not. He sat possessively on the edge of the bed taking Abbey's hand into his. Leo wanted to tell her how happy he was that she was doing well; how terribly she had scared him with her illness, but he did not. Instead, they kept the conversation light, discussing her convalescence and the upcoming convention until Abbey began to yawn with fatigue and Leo figured he had stayed long enough. 

He had come to reassure himself that Abbey was truly doing well, to see for himself that she was on the road to recovery. He hadn't realized just how dangerous a move it was. He thought he had gotten his feelings for her under control, had even began to feel able to start a relationship with Jordan, but almost losing Abbey had brought everything back to the forefront. All the feelings for her had come surging back at the fear of losing her; and now he felt like he was starting all over again, as if he had fallen off the wagon and had to start recovering from his addiction from scratch. Sometimes he felt like that was what his attraction to Abbey was – an addiction. Something that would be with him for the rest of his life; something that he would just have to learn to live with. 

"Leo." Jed caught up with him just as he walked out onto the porch. "Are you flying back to D.C. in the morning?" 

"I thought I'd stay here a while longer and, you know, make sure everything is okay." 

"Everything is fine here," Jed told him firmly. "Is Jordan still pissed at you for missing her thing and not calling her?" 

"Yeah." 

"Then go home and set things right with her. Get your own house in order." 

"What?" Leo looked at him puzzled. 

"Abbey is not your worry, she's mine. You can see that she's doing fine. It's time for you to go." Jed's determined, steely blue eyes stared steadily at him. 

"You WANT me to leave?" 

"Yes. I appreciate you for being there for me when she was so sick, but as you can see she is doing much better now. I know you…care… about her, but I think there is still a little more than friendly interest on your part. You have to let her go, Leo." 

"Jed, really…I –" 

Jed put his hand up to ward off further explanations. "Go back to Washington, Leo. See if you can salvage things with Jordan." 

Knowing he was defeated, that Jed had seen right through him, Leo nodded and turned to leave. 

The fierce anger that could still boil Jed's blood when it came to Leo's attraction to Abbey turned to compassion as he watched his friend's slumped shoulders as he started to make his way across the lawn. "Keep me updated on the convention," he called out to him. Leo nodded and continued on his way. 

Upstairs, still lying in bed but listening to the voices of her husband and his best friend as they carried through her open window from the porch below, Abbey sighed with sadness. She'd heard the defensiveness in Leo's voice and the reproachful determination in Jed's. She worried about how much longer Jed would tolerate the situation. They had both really hoped that things would get better since Leo had started seeing Jordan but after seeing the way he had looked at her earlier, she knew that not a whole lot had changed. A woman knew when a man physically wanted her and Leo definitely wanted her. 

"Oh, Leo," she closed her eyes in silent prayer. "Please just let me go." 

**** 

"WEAD, Mommy, Wead." Fresh from their baths, Aislinn and Nicholas were carrying their favorite books just ready to be entertained. Abbey smiled down at her two little cherubs. Their faces were scrubbed pink, their hair still damp, and they had the delicious smell of baby powder. They looked clean and beautiful and ready to roll, unlike Jed who had entered the room looking exhausted. His shirt was soaking wet and clinging to his chest, there were suds in his mussed tawny hair, and he carried an armload of toys the kids had played with in the tub. 

Deciding to give him a break from daddy duty, Abbey had him lift the kids up on to the bed with her. It took them a few moments to settle in, what with their stuffed animals and blankies, but finally they each lay a head against her breasts and were ready to listen as she began reading _Goodnight Moon_. 

After five books neither twin was any closer to falling asleep, but Abbey's eyes were too heavy to continue on. She turned to Jed who had changed into a pair of old sweats and was stretched out in the Queen Anne chair reading a copy of _U.S. News and World_. "They're all yours." 

"Oh come on. You're doing great. Look at them all snuggled up with you. You want me to get you some more books?" 

"Sure. And you can read them, because I'm going to bed." 

"Abbey." 

"Hey, I'm not the one who put them down for a nap at suppertime." 

"Daddy, wead." Nicholas held a book out to him. 

Resigned, Jed got to his feet and moved toward the bed. 

"Goodnight, baby girl." Abbey kissed her daughter's forehead and rubbed her cheek lovingly against hers, before Jed lifted her from her arms. She turned to Nicholas who was sitting Indian style beside her in his racecar pajamas, his thumb firmly in his mouth and his worn stuffed Tigger clutched to his chest. "Give me a kiss, little man." She smiled and held her arms open. 

Nicholas removed his thumb from his mouth and grinned at her. "Essie kiss," he told her, as he crawled into her arms and up her chest to meet her face to face. 

"Eskimo kiss it is." Abbey brushed her nose back and forth against his little button of a nose. Nicholas giggled and placed his small hands on Abbey's cheeks. For a moment green eyes met blue as mother and son shared an intent, loving look. Jed cleared his throat of the emotion the moment had wrought, then tucked Nicholas up into his other arm and left for the nursery. 

Deep into the night, Abbey rolled over, her arm automatically feeling for Jed. Instead, all she felt was the cold sheet. She turned to squint at the clock and was surprised to see that it was almost two a.m.. Unable to believe that Jed could still be up with the children, she slipped into her wrap and slippers and after checking to see that he was not in the bathroom, she made her way to the nursery. 

She could hear creaking and the low soft timbre of Jed's voice as he sang softly into the night. She stood quietly in the doorway of the darkened room and took in the mess. Toys were scattered all over the carpet, crayons littered the floor and it looked like Max had chewed up one of the bottles the kids had left or thrown on the floor. Nicholas was sleeping on the carpet surrounded by stuffed animals, a blanket simply thrown over him. Then, her eyes moved across the room and she saw Jed, bathed in the glow of the nightlights. He held Aislinn to his chest, her head on his shoulder, and he was rocking her in the old Boston rocker that countless Bartlet babies had been rocked to sleep in. The same rocker Jed had been rocked to sleep in when he was a baby. Tears stung her eyes as she wondered if Emily Bartlet had ever held baby Jed or rocked and sang to him with as much love as the adult Jed was now showing his own child. The mother in her had always ached for the child inside her husband. 

Her heart swelling with love and tenderness, she moved closer feeling crayons break under her feet and stepping over blocks and stuffed animals. As she approached the rocker, she could see that Jed's T-shirt was covered with milky drool and graham cracker crumbs and that his hand was moving in gentle circular patterns on Aislinn's back. His head was thrown back, his eyes closed, and yet he sang on promising his little girl that, "if that mockingbird don't sing, Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring turns brass, Daddy's gonna…" 

"Jed," Abbey whispered. 

"Hmmm…what?" His sleepy blue eyes took a moment to focus on her. She was looking at his shoulder where Aislinn lay. 

"She's asleep." 

"What?" He was still groggy. 

"Aislinn's asleep. Why don't you lay her in the crib and come get some sleep yourself." 

Jed nodded and got to his feet, trying not to disturb his daughter. Aislinn stirred, her sleepy eyes gazing at Abbey over Jed's shoulder. Jed held his breath. He needn't have worried, in the next instant her head fell back against his chest and he was able to settle her in the crib without a fuss. 

While Jed bent to straighten Aislinn's covers, Abbey wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and inhaled deeply. Instead of his usually masculine scent of bay rum, tonight he smelled of stale milk, juice, baby lotion and powder. 

"I stink, don't I?" he asked. 

"No, you don't stink. You smell like a mother," she smiled. 

"I'll take that as a compliment." 

"As well you should." 

Jed turned and surveyed the mess in the nursery. "Has it been a week yet?" he asked hopefully. 

Abbey gave a throaty laugh and tenderly pushed back a tendril of hair from his forehead. "Baby, it ain't even been a full day yet." 

"I was afraid of that." 


	18. Summer Storms

It took Abbey less than a couple of seconds to acknowledge that the child crying in the nursery was Aislinn, not Nicholas. Her two children had two completely distinct cries – Nicky having inherited a bit of his father's bellow. She lay back in bed for a moment, waiting for somebody to go to her, but she could hear Jed singing away in the shower and by looking at the clock she realized that her mother was at early Mass. They had decided to attend church in shifts and she and Jed were getting the late Mass. Unable to stand her daughter's heartbreaking cries any longer, Abbey made her way to the nursery. 

She paused for a moment in the doorway, bringing her fingers to the tender smile on her lips. Evidently Nicholas had been unable to bear Aislinn's crying either and had climbed out of his crib to go to her. He stood beside his sister's crib, gripping the rails and eyeing her through the bars while he babbled something only she could decipher. It was hard to remember just how shocked and overwhelmed that she had been when the ultrasound had revealed that she was carrying twins, but now she was so thankful that there had been two babies inside of her. It was an absolute delight to watch them interact with each other and she didn't have to be worried about them being lonely or not being around children their own age, things that would have been a real worry if either had been an only child, so to speak. No, Nicholas and Aislinn would always have each other and the special bond that had come from sharing her womb. 

"What's all this carrying on about, young lady?" Abbey asked, as she approached the crib. Aislinn had calmed slightly thanks to Nicholas, but when she saw her mother her tears stopped completely and she gave her a tremulous smile. "Just what I thought," Abbey admonished her. "Crocodile tears." 

Aislinn put her arms up for her mother to take her out of the crib and Abbey bent over. 

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" 

All three jumped, Abbey's hand going over her chest, Nicholas falling on his butt. Abbey turned to see Jed in the doorway, wearing just a towel around his waist, shampoo still lathered in his hair and dripping down his face. 

"Don't you dare lift her up," he warned her. "You know better than that. What were you thinking?" 

"I was thinking that my daughter is crying, my mother is at church and my husband is singing about the long way to Tipperary in the shower. Somebody needed to take care of her." Abbey ran a soothing hand over Aislinn's head. 

"I would have taken care of her." 

"Jed, you couldn't hear her in the shower." 

"Of course I could. I'm not a complete idiot. I brought the monitor in the bathroom with me." He lifted his hand to show her the monitor. 

"Oh." 

"Oh? Is that all you have to say for yourself?" 

"Well, I was kind of wondering what kind of jackass jumps out of the shower still full of soap," she eyed him up and down with a chuckle. 

"The kind of jackass who HEARD you in here and knew you'd pull this kind of stunt." 

"It wasn't a stunt, Jed. It's been a week and I'm feeling MUCH better and YOU need to stop following me around clucking like a mother hen." 

"I resent that characterization." 

"Cluck, cluck, cluck." 

"Abbey, you're trying my patience." 

"I'M trying YOUR patience? Try having someone following you around and looking over your shoulder all the time. Hell, I'm surprised you actually let me pee on my own." 

"I wouldn't if I thought you might have to lift something." 

"I guess I should be thankful I'm not a male then." 

"Abbey!" Jed looked from Nicholas to Aislinn who were watching their parents with wide-eyed interest. 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Bartlet. I was referring to the toilet seat." There was a momentary battle of wills as blue eyes clashed with green. Both Irish, both temperamental, and both stubborn to the core, neither would relent until Jed finally began to squint in pain as the shampoo ran in rivulets down his forehead and into his eye. 

"Ah, damn!" He lifted his towel to try to wipe at his eye, but he had it knotted around his waist too tight and it wouldn't reach. 

Abbey grabbed a face cloth off the twins changing table and approached him. 

She shook her head. "You stubborn old Irishman." 

"It stings, Abbey. Hurry up." 

"It's just a little soap in your eye, Jed. Stop behaving like a big baby." She began dabbing at his eye with the cloth. 

"I'm not. It hurts." He grabbed the cloth from her impatiently and rubbed at his eye with it. When he felt he'd gotten all the soap out, he stopped rubbing and looked at Abbey. "I know, I know, go ahead and say it. Jackass." 

Abbey smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Yeah, but you're MY jackass." 

"You're not mad at me anymore?" Would he ever get used to his wife's quicksilver moods? 

"Not at the moment, no. I know you're just trying to do what's best for me. But I'm going stir crazy here, Jed. It's been a week; I'm not taking the pain meds anymore. Why don't we go out somewhere this afternoon after church?" 

"Out? Where?" 

"Oh, I don't know. Why don't we take the kids over to Ida's to get an ice cream?" 

"You know the press will be out in full force. CJ said they've been bugging her for photo ops all week." 

"Yeah, well, you've never been one to shy away from that." 

"I don't like how they were when I brought the kids to the hospital. They scared them and I felt like I didn't have any control over it." 

"You don't, not really. All we can do is shield them as best as we can. But, they also have to get used to it. They are the President's children and they always will be. Even when you are long out of office, their comings and goings will be of interest. How we handle that now, when they're young, will probably determine how they handle it when they're older." 

"You're right. It's just so damn hard when your first instinct is to protect. I swear to God, Abbey, I wanted to walk over and shove those cameras down their throats." 

"Protecting is a good thing, Jed. It's OVER protecting that gets you into trouble." 

"Are you talking about them or you?" 

"All of us. You do have a tendency to overdo it at times. But I'd rather have you this way than to be indifferent. Now, back to the ice cream. It'll be low tide so we can put the kids in their strollers and walk along the hard packed sand. The press will be able to get some pictures but they'll be at a far enough distance that it shouldn't affect Nicholas or Aislinn." 

"Okay, ice cream it is then." 

**** 

A few hours later, Aislinn and Nicholas stood with their parents at the take-out window of "Ida's" waiting to order their ice cream. Jed placed the order for Abbey's coffee crunch and his own blueberry, then turned to the children. 

"Okay, Mommy told you what kind of ice cream there is. Tell the nice lady what you want." He lifted Nicholas to face the grinning college student, who could not believe that she was waiting on the First Family. 

Never one to miss an opportunity to emulate his beloved father, Nicholas took his thumb out of his mouth to give the waitress a drooling shy smile. "Booberry." 

"Okay, I guess both men want the wild Maine blueberry." He set Nicholas down and lifted Aislinn so she could see. "What about you, sunshine? You want to tell us what kind of ice cream you want?" 

"I want pink." 

"Well, that was pretty definitive. It will be strawberry for the young lady." 

Once the family had their ice cream cones in hand, they made their way to one of the picnic tables overlooking the harbor. The Service was a heavy presence, however, they had not cordoned off the small ice cream parlor and people were allowed to come and go. Some people openly stared, but most just gave surreptitious glances and allowed the family their privacy. The press had not been allowed close, however, that didn't stop them from trying to get pictures from boats out on the water. They weren't close enough to bother the children, so Abbey and Jed simply ignored their presence and went about enjoying their day. 

Both parents had known that cones and toddlers were not a good mix, but they were not here to make an impression, they were here to have fun and the twins were certainly having fun burying their faces in their ice cream cones and offering tastes to their parents. Abbey gave half-hearted swipes at their faces and fingers with napkins, but gave up when they took their cones and went toddling off to explore their surroundings. She smiled as she watched them approach a couple of other children close to their own age and all four began offering each other tastes of their flavor choices. 

"It's nice to be normal," she said. 

"Huh?" Jed's eyes moved from his kids to his wife. 

"I said it's nice to be just a normal American family again spending a warm summer Sunday going to church, getting ice cream and listening to the baseball game playing on someone's radio." 

"Mmm…" Jed agreed. It had been nice to laze around in their big bed doing the New York Times crossword puzzle together and then enjoying a big brunch with their children and his mother-in-law after church. "It is nice." His face closed for a moment. 

"What is it?" Always attuned to his moods, Abbey knew instantly that his had changed. 

"Am I taking all this away from you?" 

"What?" 

"My decision to run again. It's taken all this away from you, hasn't it? If I hadn't decided to run again we could be 'normal' again in about six months. We could have this all the time." 

"Normal is nice at times, Jed, but normal can also get a little boring. Our life in the White House is incredible. It's exciting and fulfilling and glamorous, and just when all that gets to be too much, we can try to take off and be normal again. It certainly has made me appreciate and enjoy these times more. If I truly hadn't wanted you to run again, I would have jumped on your offer not to do so, last summer. I'm not a martyr, Jed. Never have been, never will be." 

Jed nodded and took her hand with a smile. She licked at her cone and he wondered if she knew how much she could turn him on by just watching the innocent strokes of her pink tongue lapping at the ice cream. For the first few days of Abbey's convalescence, he had been too exhausted to even think about anything sexual; but with Beth's arrival, things had begun to run more smoothly and now he was thinking about it. Oh boy, was he thinking about it. It was amazing how much sex came to mean to a person when they knew they couldn't have it. He'd gone for longer periods of time without making love with Abbey, mainly when she was on one of her trips abroad, and he didn't always get so worked up about it. Sure he might wander the halls of the White House until all hours of the night, but that was because he missed her; it wasn't like this. When she was away he didn't have to deal with her sleeping beside him with her delectable little rear pressed back against his morning erection and the hair pulling, frustrating knowledge that he couldn't make love to her. When she was away, he didn't have to watch her tonguing an ice cream cone and wishing that it were he she was lavishing with such intent enjoyment. 

"Do you want a lick?" she asked. 

"Huh, what?!" He nearly jumped, his mind going straight back into the gutter Abbey had accused it of being in that morning. 

"I asked if you wanted a lick of my ice cream. You're eyeing it like you want a taste." 

"Not of your ice cream," he mumbled. 

"What?" 

Before she could get Jed to repeat what he had said, they both watched Aislinn trip over a rock in her path and fall face first in the dirt and grass. Abbey beat Jed to their daughter's side by a stride. 

"Maaaama!" she howled. 

"Don't, Abbey." Jed gripped her elbow to keep Abbey from lifting her and instead he bent to pick up the crying little girl. He knew from experience not to let his own worry show, as that would only scare the child even more. 

"Hey, sunshine," he said, as he wiped dirt off Aislinn's nose with his thumb. "Did you take a spill?" 

Aislinn nodded her crying turning to sniffles at her father's calm nonchalance. While Jed held her, Abbey checked her over looking for skinned knees or even lost teeth. 

"Is she all right?" one of the other mothers asked. 

"She's fine," Abbey smiled. "I suspect it's more of a bruised ego, and the loss of her ice cream than anything else." 

"That, and we're getting awfully close to naptime." Jed grinned as Aislinn yawned, and rubbed her pink sticky fists into her eyes. 

"She's a beautiful baby. She favors you, Mr. President." The woman all but batted her eyes at Jed. 

"Thank you," Jed beamed. "Did you hear that, Ash? This lady thinks you look like your dear old dad." 

Aislinn turned in her father's arms to see whom he was talking to. The woman waved at her and Aislinn shyly tucked her head back against her father's chest. 

"Beautiful and bashful," Jed laughed. 

"Mama, here." Abbey was too busy watching the woman who was flirting so outrageously with her husband to pay much attention to what her son was handing her; she simply stuck her hand out, then grimaced at the cold wet sticky ooze. She gazed down with dismay at the dirt covered ice cream cone that Aislinn had dropped and Nicholas had so graciously retrieved for her. 

"And he's just adorable," the woman continued on. "What a little gentleman. You've done a fine job raising him, sir." 

"You've done a fine job raising him, sir," Abbey mimicked, when the woman had gone back to her friends and she and Jed were settling the kids back in their strollers and doing their best to rid both children of their ice cream remnants with baby wipes. "What am I? Chopped liver? They do have a mother." 

"The woman was just being friendly, Abbey." 

"A little overly friendly if you ask me," she grumbled. 

"Is that the little green-eyed monster rearing his ugly head?" he teased her, as he adjusted the kids' sun hats. 

"I wasn't jealous, Jed." she sniffed. "I just hate to watch people make fools of themselves." 

"You really WERE jealous. YES!" He pumped his fist with glee. "I've still got it." 

"I wasn't aware that you ever thought you lost it." Abbey shook her head and began pushing her stroller forward. Jed followed right after her with boyish enthusiasm. Just as they'd expected both kids were fast asleep before they even made it to the lighthouse. 

**** 

Leo McGarry stood on top of the grassy knoll in front of the guest cottage. He'd been gone for over a week – gone at the insistence of the President. Gone so that the President could help his wife recover and regain her strength without any other agendas dragging at him. Obviously things had gone well on that front. When he'd first gone over to the Bartlets' cottage, he had found Beth O'Neill tucking her grandchildren into their cribs and had been told that Abbey and Jed were taking a walk on the beach. Now here he stood at sunset watching them bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun. Abbey was barefoot and wore faded jean cutoffs and a pale yellow tank top with the arms of a navy blue sweater dangling over her shoulders. Jed was also barefoot and he wore his favorite old worn khaki shorts with the corny "World's Greatest Dad" T-shirt Abbey had gotten him from the twins for Father's Day this past spring. He watched Jed pick up a stick and throw it out into the surf for Max to fetch. The big dog took off into the waves and returned to Jed's feet to drop the stick before giving his big hairy body a thorough shake sending seawater everywhere. Jed's and Abbey's shrieking laughter carried over to him on the wind and he couldn't help but smile wistfully at the fun they were having. It was so nice to see Abbey up and active again. Watching her, anyone would be hard pressed to believe that she had almost died just a couple of weeks ago. Leo swallowed tightly at the reminder of that night. Back in D.C. he'd had nightmares for a week re-living that storm tossed evening. Nightmares not only of Abbey dying, but also of what happened to Jed after she died – the slow, agonizing dissolution of a man. 

"Go get it, Max!" Jed's exuberant voice brought Leo back to the present and he watched for a few more minutes longer as the First Couple walked hand in hand pausing only to throw the stick to their dog. He didn't want to intrude or take away any of these last moments of their vacation. After all, he was here to take Jed away to California. 

**** 

Later that evening, after doing the dishes together, Abbey sent Jed out to the porch while she made coffee. Sensing that her daughter and son-in-law needed some privacy, Beth went up to her bedroom to read and said she would listen for the children. When the coffee was finished Abbey poured them each a steaming cup and made her way out to the porch. She handed Jed his mug, but didn't join him on the swing. Instead she moved forward to the porch rail, setting her coffee down and leaning forward on her hands facing out to the sea. It was a poignant moment. Jed was leaving in the morning; their summer was over. There would be no more long lazy days reading in the sun together or building sandcastles with their children. No more evenings playing backgammon, scrabble, cribbage and hearts. No more socked in foggy day chess battles. It was time to go back to the real world. Tears stung her eyes and she swallowed hard refusing to give in to them. 

"Abbey?" She felt his hands on her hips, his breath warm against her ear. "You look so sad right now." 

"I'm okay. I'm just going to miss you." 

"You'll be joining me in a week." 

"You know what I mean. I'm going to miss the way we are here. I'm even going to miss Nurse Jed." 

"That's Dr. Bartlet to you," he growled. "And I thought I annoyed you by behaving like a mother hen?" 

Abbey chuckled and turned in his arms to stroke his cheek softly. "You did, but it was also kind of nice watching you with the kids and having you take care of me. You really are so good with them; they just adore you." 

"Don't sound so surprised. We do have three other children together," he grinned, playing on their earlier conversation. 

"I'm not surprised. It's just that it would be very easy for you to stay immersed in being President and leave the child rearing to me." 

"Hey, that's not how I operate, babe. You know that. I had just as much to do with creating those children as you did." He placed his palm on her flat belly. "I admit you had to do all the hard work in bringing them into the world, but now that they're here, I want my share of the responsibility and the joy, at least as much as I can. I just hate leaving you before your follow-up exam." 

"I'm fine, Jed. I have my mother here and Izzy is coming back tomorrow. I'm sure everything will be fine with the follow-up and I'll be joining you next week. You just knock 'em dead in California." 

**** 

A week later, just as she'd planned, Abbey arrived at the bustling hotel suite her husband was occupying in San Francisco. He had spent the previous week campaigning all over the large state and now that was culminating with the start of the Democratic National Convention. When she and the children arrived, he was speaking at a breakfast and it was Leo who had seen her first. She had seen the questions in his eyes but thankfully they were left unasked and she was left to unpack and settle the children in their room in peace. 

Instead, Leo geared his questions to Jed. "I just saw Abbey up in the room," he said, as Jed entered the lobby. 

"Oh good, she's here." There was real excitement in his voice and he began to walk fast toward the elevators. 

"Yeah, she's here. Is there something wrong? Something we should know about?" 

"Wrong? What are you talking about?" Jed hit the up button. 

"I don't know. She looked different from the way she was at the beach – tired, preoccupied." 

"I don't know. She hasn't said anything." He strode down the hall and opened the door to the suite. Senior staff members were perched on the available seating in the sitting room going over schedules and speeches. Lily Mays was there working with Abbey's schedule for the week, but Abbey was not in the room. With a quick greeting, he walked past them and entered the bedroom. Abbey was unpacking and when she turned to look at him he knew exactly what Leo meant. This was not the same woman that he'd left a week ago, bursting with a healthy vitality and a light tan. She was pale and drawn and there were soft bruise-like smudges under her eyes. 

"Abbey?" The concern was evident in his voice and she knew the questions were coming. "Is something wrong?" 

"Now that's a hell of a greeting," she attempted lightness and failed miserably. 

"You look exhausted. Is everything okay?" 

Tears burned at the back of Abbey's throat at his worried frown and the concern in his voice. How easy it would be to unburden herself to him, to wrap herself up in his comfort. Her eyes moved past her husband though, over his shoulder to the staff working hard in the next room and reconsidered. How selfish would it be of her to ruin this moment for him, for all of them? This was the event they'd been waiting for all year – she couldn't destroy it, and she knew that her news might very well destroy everything. 

"I'm fine, Jed." She forced a smile and moved forward into his arms. "It was just a long flight." She held tightly to her husband, taking comfort even if he didn't know that he was giving it; and if he felt her shaking slightly in his arms he didn't let on, he simply let her hold on to him as if she would never let him go. 


	19. Summer Storms

"How's Abbey?" Leo was sitting watching the TV in the hotel suite when Jed entered the room. 

"She's okay." Jed took a quick nip from his glass of scotch. 

"She still looked tight leaving here tonight." 

"She'll do fine, Leo," Jed snapped. "She always does." 

A worried frown crossed Leo's face as he watched Jed cross the room and sit down in an overstuffed chair in front of the TV just as Abbey took the stage to a thunderous ovation. She might be small, but when she took the stage in her slim fitting, just above the knee, fire red Donna Karan suit and three-inch heels, she commanded it. Star power – some people had it, some people didn't; and thankfully for the Bartlet campaign both Jed and Abbey had plenty of it. 

For a brief moment a smile crossed Jed's face as the crowd chanted his wife's name over and over and Abbey had to wait for quite a while for the raucous group to settle down so that she could begin her speech. It was "Ladies Night" at the Democratic Convention, and since she was the First Lady, she was the highlight of the evening. It wasn't lost on anyone that she had received louder cheers and a longer ovation than any other senator who had given a speech over the past two days had. 

"God, they love her," Leo breathed. 

"Yeah." Jed settled back to watch her speak. He knew this was not an easy night for her. Lecturing in front of a packed medical conference or a classroom of students at Harvard was a cakewalk for her. Making an impassioned speech to introduce him to a crowd had become old hat, but giving a half-hour political speech in front of the entire nation was a whole different ballgame. 

Yet, to watch her, one would never know that she had any apprehension at all. She was articulate in underlining what her husband had accomplished in his four years as President, funny with her family anecdotes in showing what kind of man her husband was, and impassioned as to why the country needed four more years of Jed Bartlet. 

"Hell, with a woman like that behind him, I might even vote for Jed Bartlet." 

Jed looked up to see John Hoynes enter the room. His wife Suzanne had spoken just before Abbey. 

"Hey, John, ready for tomorrow night?" Jed asked. 

"As I'll ever be." 

Jed heard the hint of resignation in John's voice. For the second consecutive election, he knew his Vice President had to be thinking that it was supposed to be him up there. Four years ago he had watched Jed Bartlet, a nationally unknown intellectual from a pissant New England state come from nowhere to steal the limelight and the nomination. He had thought it would be for one term. Now, here they were four years later and he was still playing second fiddle. Jed knew just how much that had to rankle him. 

"In four more years this will be your convention, John." Jed's words were spoken with complete confidence. 

"From your mouth to God's ear," John grinned, pouring himself a glass of scotch and sitting back to watch the end of Abbey's speech. "She's a helluva speaker and the country loves her. Abbey ever think of running for office?" 

"To quote my lovely, genteel wife, 'I'd rather have my eyeteeth pulled out with a string and bleed to death than EVER run for office.'" 

John laughed. It was a very Abbey-like thing to say. Right from the start he had liked Jed Bartlet's sassy, sexy wife. It was Jed he had the issues with. Now, things were much better between the two and getting to know Abbey had only caused him to like her even more. 

"Nope, politics isn't Abbey's thing. She does it for me and because she believes in what we're trying to achieve." 

"You've got a fine woman there, Mr. President. To the ladies." He lifted his glass of scotch. 

"To the ladies." Jed lifted his in agreement. 

**** 

Jed had hoped that whatever was bothering Abbey had to do with her speech. He'd hoped it was just nerves or something, but the day following her victorious speech her demeanor had not changed at all. Oh, it was nothing anyone would overtly pick up on. She made her rounds of breakfast meetings, and the quick pep talks to the delegates from all states. She laughed and had her picture taken with them and signed autographs. She was lovely, and patient and gracious, everything a politician's wife should be, but she wasn't Abbey. To Jed, when he saw her throughout the day, she appeared to be moving as if on autopilot. At odd moments she seemed to be lost in thought, and a couple of times back in their suite he had seen her watching the twins with an strange sort of wistfulness and he could have sworn that he had seen tears. When he'd called her on it, she had brushed him off telling him that he was being ridiculous. He didn't think he was being ridiculous in the least. Something was bothering his wife and for some reason she didn't want him to know about it. 

Despite his concern, nobody else seemed to pick up on Abbey's melancholic mood. Then again, everyone was so busy it wouldn't be hard to miss. The night the Vice President was to speak their suite was filled with a combination of senior staffers, campaign staffers and family. To Jed it was almost surreal. In one corner, Bruno and Leo were discussing the upcoming bus tour that was to take place directly after the convention; in another Josh, Toby and Sam were going over polling numbers; and in yet another, the twins were on the floor playing with their toys, oblivious to the commotion surrounding them. Abbey was by the door greeting their daughters; even Zoey had made it back from the summer semester she had spent at the Sorbonne. All three daughters had arrived in plenty of time to be there for their father's crowning achievement – the acceptance speech the following night. 

He watched Nicholas make his way over to CJ, who had just entered the room. "Aunie Ceej." He tugged at her skirt. Intent on making her way to the President, CJ stopped dead in her tracks to look down at the little boy. 

"What did you just say?" Her eyes widened with surprise. 

"Aunie Ceej." He reached for her hand to pull her towards his toy box. 

CJ hadn't expected the warmth and pride that spread through her with those two simple words. "Did you guys here that?!" CJ called out to the room. "Did you hear what Nicholas just called me? I'm Auntie Ceej!" 

Unimpressed with her excitement, Nicholas tugged hard on her hand, propelling his little body forward to make her move faster. "Come ON!" he demanded. 

"Oh, he IS a Bartlet," CJ grinned at the President. "He sounds just like you, sir." 

Jed lifted his glass to her with a smile and watched as Nicholas reached into the box to pull out his newest toy. 

"'Onkey," he told her proudly. One of the delegations had given Abbey big, blue, floppy stuffed donkeys for the twins. 

"You have a new donkey, I see that. Since you have a new toy, does that mean that I can have Tigger now?" she teased the boy by picking up his ratty old stuffed animal. Nicky's eyes widened and he threw his donkey on the floor to run at her and try to grab his beloved toy. 

"NO!" he cried. "Tig, Tig." He reached his hands up for it. 

"Oh, okay, I guess you can have them both." She handed Tigger over to him. Overcome with relief, Nicholas sat on the floor holding the animal tightly to his chest, thumb back in his mouth. 

"Now look at all those toys that you have and I don't have any." CJ flashed him a sad pout. 

"Aunie Ceej?" 

CJ looked down to see Aislinn holding her stuffed donkey out to her as a gift. 

"Oh, honey, you are just too sweet for words. Thank you, but you keep your donkey." 

Aislinn wasn't going to press the matter. She'd made the offer and been turned down, so she took her donkey back with her to where she was playing and pretended to give it a bottle that belonged to one of her dolls. 

Abbey had been watching the exchange with a smile and made her way over to Jed. "I got one for you too," she told him. 

"One what?" 

"One of these." She pulled a stuffed donkey out from behind her back. "Thank God you're a Democrat. An elephant just wouldn't have the same effect." Jed burst into laughter as read what she had written in black permanent marker on the donkey's rear – "My Jackass". 

"It's perfect. Thanks." He leaned down to kiss her cheek. 

"I better try getting them into bed. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day for them." 

"Izzy can do it. Aren't you going to watch the delegate count and John's speech?" 

Abbey heard the slight hurt in his voice; these were memories they would carry with them for a lifetime. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

So, with Abbey seated holding his hand on one side of him and his daughters seated by his other side and at his feet, Jed watched the state by state delegate count. And, when the great state of Nevada yielded its spot to the great state of New Hampshire so they could be the delegation to push their favorite son over the top and give him the Democratic nomination, loud whoops of excitement filled the suite and champagne corks began to pop. It might not have been as exciting as it had been the first time around but it was still a joyful moment. 

After sharing a glass of champagne with her husband and watching the beginning of John's speech, Abbey could still hear the twins crying from the bedroom. 

"I'm going to help Izzy and try to settle them down." 

Jed nodded and watched her leave the room. 

Back in the bedroom it was obvious that with everything that had been going on, the children were overtired and over stimulated. Getting them down to sleep was going to be one big battle and so Abbey did what every parent did at some point in their life. She caved. She turned the TV on to the cartoon channel, gave the children a bottle and lay down on the bed between the two of them. 

That was how Jed found them a few hours later, Abbey still fully clothed and Nicholas and Aislinn sound asleep snuggled up close to her, their empty bottles laying on the bed and the TV still playing. 

"Do you need another room, Mr. President?" Sam asked, as he peered over the President's shoulder at the sleeping trio. Jed shut the door slightly to bar Sam's view. 

"No, that's why we request king-sized beds. Good night, everyone." He entered the room and watched the threesome sleeping for a few more moments before he went into action slipping the kids under the covers and undressing Abbey down to the silky teddy she wore under the sophisticated suit. 

"Damn," he muttered. 

"Mmm… what?" Abbey murmured sleepily, as Jed slid her skirt down over her legs. 

"Tomorrow night when I undress you there won't be any kids in this bed, and you certainly won't be sleeping," he whispered into her ear. Abbey simply smiled in her sleep and rolled onto her side. 

**** 

If the previous days of the convention had seemed exciting and hectic, it was nothing compared to this, the last day – the day that Jed would officially accept the nomination of his party. Abbey had spent the morning doing the rounds on the morning talk shows and attending more breakfast functions. She had gone to see a performance of the San Francisco ballet with Liz, Ellie, Zoey and Annie and now she was back trying to keep the twins amused in the bedroom while Jed gave interviews in the suite. 

"Okay, what are we going to play?" She kicked her shoes off and hiked her tight skirt up to sit on the floor with them. 

Nicholas brought over a plastic ball filled with pieces of differing shapes. The object was to fit the right shape into the slot. Everything was going smoothly until he tried to fit the rectangle into the square space. 

"Honey, you need a bigger space," Abbey told him. "That one isn't going to fit there." Nicky ignored her and continued to try to jam it in, his frustration growing. 

"Nicholas, let's look for another space." She leaned forward but he yanked the ball away from her and grabbed his plastic hammer. With single-minded determination, he began to pound away at it as if he could force it to fit where he wanted it to go. A grin crossed Abbey's face. "Oh yeah, darlin', you are your father's son." 

She was just moving to take the hammer away before he broke the toy when Izzy entered from the adjoining room where she had been folding the twins' laundry. 

"Uh, Mrs. Bartlet…" 

Abbey looked up to see the bedroom door leading out to the suite wide open and Aislinn nowhere to be seen. 

Jed knew the moment he had lost the attention of the journalists, photographers, and TV crews present. A loud gasp of excitement had filled the room and he turned to see his little daughter come tottering out of the bedroom wearing her mother's high heels and a long pearl necklace. 

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but I better rescue my daughter before she breaks an ankle trying to walk around in her mother's Ferragamos." 

Jed got to his feet and stopped in front of Aislinn, squatting down to her eye level. "And who are you supposed to be? Cinderella?" 

"Cindywella," Aislinn agreed with a beaming smile. 

"Well, Miss Cinderella, I think there is another Princess who might fit into these shoes a little better. Who do you think should wear these shoes?" 

"Mommy." 

"Yes, well, why don't we go give them back to Mommy." They turned just as Abbey came out of the bedroom in her stocking feet. 

"Sorry, everyone," she sent apologies out to the room but there was no need. Every media person present was thrilled with the knowledge that they had just gotten something on print, film, and video that would be featured not just on magazine covers and on the prime time news, but throughout history. As far as the Bartlet campaign went, CJ and Bruno were in the corner ready to dance a jig knowing that they had just gotten the photo-op of a lifetime. 

"Honestly, I don't know how she was able to walk in these." Abbey began to remove the shoes from her daughter's tiny feet. 

"She is her mother's daughter," Jed grinned. 

Abbey took Aislinn's hand and began to lead her back to the bedroom. Aislinn twisted her head back to look at her father, "Daddy, come?" 

"Daddy has to finish talking to these people but then he can come," Abbey smiled down on her. 

"Daddy pay bissy bissy pider?" 

"Yes, sweetheart, I'll play 'itsy bitsy spider' with you when I finish up." Jed ran a hand over her curls then turned to take his place back within the media circle. 

"Okay." Aislinn gave a quick smile and much to everyone's delight waved to them and blew her father a kiss. 

NBC news anchorman Tom Brokaw watched Aislinn depart the room with a sentimental smile. "She's going to steal a lot of hearts, Mr. President." 

"Starting with mine," Jed said, touching his fist to his chest. 

**** 

Jed spent the latter half of the afternoon doing run-throughs of his speech, returning to the hotel only when it was time to shower and dress for the evening ahead. 

Abbey was one step ahead of him. She had already showered and was in the process of dressing. Standing in only a black silk half-slip, she began picking through her lingerie drawer and pulled out a flimsy lacy black bra. She held it in her hands, running her fingers over the delicate fabric. Tears stung her eyes as she wondered how much longer she would be able to wear such lingerie for Jed, how much longer she would want to feel sexy. She slipped the pretty bra over her shoulders and hooked it in the back so that she could eye her cleavage in the mirror from each side. 

"You look pretty damn good to me." Jed had entered the bedroom and walked up behind her, cupping his hands over breasts. "Mmm…you feel good, too – silk and lace." 

"Jed, DON'T." Abbey pulled away more sharply than intended. 

He gave her a puzzled look. "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" 

"Nothing, you didn't do anything. It's just…we don't time for this. We have to get dressed." 

"Abbey, just because Dr. Stewart said you were all clear for recreational activities doesn't mean I was planning to jump you. I just wanted to touch you. It's been a long time since I've touched you." 

"I know it has. I'm sorry. I guess I overacted. Must be nerves. Forgive me?" She gave him her best baby doll pout, clearly meant to deter him from the subject at hand. 

"Of course, I forgive you." His eyes were still wary. "You'd talk to me if there was something really wrong, wouldn't you?" 

Abbey paused a few moments. God, she hated to lie to him. 

"WOULDN'T you?" he pressed her. 

Abbey swallowed past the dryness in her throat. "Yes, Jed, of course I would." 

Relief showed on his face and Abbey knew that she had done the right thing. "Well then, let's get our asses in gear, Mrs. B. We have a nomination to accept." 

**** 

Abbey sat in her box seat surrounded by the entire immediate Bartlet/O'Neill clan. All her daughters were with her as were Jed's mother, her parents and their siblings. The only two members of the family not sitting with them were Aislinn and Nicholas, who Abbey had felt were just too young to make it through the fifteen minute introduction movie and then their father's hour long speech. So, they were sitting in a room with Izzy waiting until it was time to take the stage. Without having to worry about the two antsy toddlers, Abbey was able to sit back, relax, and watch the biographical movie that would introduce her husband. 

It was strange at times to see it all up there on the big screen – all those pictures from their photo albums of Jed as a little boy trudging around on the farm in his snowsuit while his grandfather taught him how to milk a cow, as a buttoned up serious young boy standing in his uniform in front of his prep school and as an earnest young man making signs to lead his church youth group to go to Washington and see Martin Luther King deliver his "I Have a Dream Speech", a speech that along with John Kennedy's call to arms, had shaped his young political mind. Not shown or spoken of in the movie was the punishment that the young man had received from his father for disobeying him and going to the march without permission. 

She smiled softly at the first sight of the young college-aged Jed in his Notre Dame sweatshirt, a lock of unruly hair falling over his forehead. That was the Jed she had come to know; the Jed she had fallen in love with. In the next instant, she was watching a picture of the two them fill the big screen. They were sitting hip to hip on a stone wall in front of the lake. Jed's hair was a little longer; and he looked more relaxed and at ease than in previous photos – his arm was around her waist. She was wearing a mini skirt, her legs and feet bare, her gleaming copper hair falling in waves over her shoulders to her hips. Her head lay affectionately against his shoulder. They were carefree and laughing, the epitome of blossoming young love. It all showed through in that one picture, everything that they felt for each other. 

"I met Abbey when I was a junior." It was Jed's voiceover that began to play while they continued to show college pictures of them. "She was a year younger than me but she skipped a grade in junior high school so she was in the same year as I was. We were at a party and she was with a group of friends. I saw her across the room and – BAM – that was it for me. She was laughing and making the whole group laugh. I remember thinking that somehow I had to meet her, and somewhere inside I knew I wanted to spend my life with someone who could make me laugh like that." 

"I bumped into him." Now it was her voiceover. "I literally bumped into him when I was going back into the party and he spilled beer on my blouse. I remember thinking how sweet he was to be so embarrassed as he tried to dry my chest with a napkin. Then I looked up into his eyes for the first time and he just swept me off my feet. You know you read about stuff like that in books, but it really does happen. We spent the rest of the night dancing and talking about everything under the sun and by the next day I knew that I was in love. We've been together ever since." 

It was back to Jed's voice now as they showed pictures and home movies of the two of them with their brand new infants and throughout the years, as the girls grew older. Abbey smiled wistfully as they showed Jed jumping up and down on the sidelines of a soccer game cheering six year old Ellie on, and Ellie coming off the field to jump into her daddy's outstretched arms. She felt Ellie's hand slide onto her hers and turned to see her daughter smiling through the tears in her eyes. Abbey acknowledged her emotions with a gentle smile and squeezed Ellie's hand before she turned back to the film that was now showing Jed dancing with little Zoey at his first inauguration as Governor. 

"I'd always been aware of how important it was to save the environment and make the world a better place, but that became even more important to me when I became a father. I was there with Abbey when Elizabeth, Ellie, Zoey, Aislinn and Nicholas took their first breaths on this earth and those are the five most amazing moments of my life. I feel very deeply the responsibility that I have towards them, and not just to feed, clothe, shelter, educate and love them, but to do my part to make this world a better place for them and for their children. I think of that responsibility every morning when I sit at the breakfast table with them and every time that I visit a classroom. If children are hostages to the future then I think that we have to do everything we can to be able to release them into a world free of pollution and poverty, hatred and racism, drugs and disease, a world in which they have the education to fulfill their potential and take them as far as their dreams may soar. I want this for my children and for every child in America." 

The segment ended with a moment from the Fourth of July with Jed sitting on a picnic blanket tickling, rolling around, and laughing with all five of his children. Then, as the movie ended the strains of Peter, Paul and Mary's _If I Had a Hammer_ filled the building. 

> _If I had a hammer,_  
>  I'd hammer in the morning   
> I'd hammer in the evening,   
> All over this land   
> I'd hammer out danger,   
> I'd hammer out a warning,   
> I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters,   
> All over this land. 
> 
> If I had a bell,   
> I'd ring it in the morning,   
> I'd ring it in the evening,   
> All over this land   
> I'd ring out danger,   
> I'd ring out a warning   
> I'd ring out love between my brothers and my sisters,   
> All over this land. 
> 
> If I had a song,   
> I'd sing it in the morning,   
> I'd sing it in the evening,   
> All over this land   
> I'd sing out danger,   
> I'd sing out a warning   
> I'd sing out love between my brothers and my sisters,   
> All over this land.

The crowd erupted into a frenzy as they saw Jed take the stage and still the music played on. 

> _Well I got a hammer,_  
>  And I got a bell,   
> And I got a song to sing, all over this land.   
> It's the hammer of Justice,   
> It's the bell of Freedom,   
> It's the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters,   
> All over this land.

Abbey stood cheering along with the crowd, pride causing her heart to swell, pride in her husband, pride in who he was, what he stood for, and what he'd overcome to make it to this moment. 

Jed's speech was inspirational, it was moving, it was eloquent and it was impassioned. It was everything anyone could expect from one of the greatest orators of the century, and more. It had people silently mesmerized one moment and on their feet chanting his name the next. And at the end, with his fist smashing promises to make the changes America needed, he blessed them and he blessed the country and the upbeat strains of U2's _Beautiful Day_ filled the arena, reaching a crescendo just as Abbey took the stage with a child on each hip. Red, white and blue confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling as she set the children down on the stage. Both kids were adorable in their patriotic splendor. Aislinn wore a white sailor dress with a navy pinafore and a little red headband held her blonde curls back from her face, while Nicholas wore navy pants and a red and white Rugby shirt. Both raced into their father's outstretched arms. 

_"It's a BEAUTIFUL day, don't let it slip away…."_

Making her way across the stage Abbey was smiling broadly at Jed and he put the children down for a moment to pull her into his arms with boyish exuberance for a kiss that was just slightly longer than polite society would dictate. She grinned up at him when she pulled back, ran her thumb over his lips to remove her lipstick, and stepped aside so he could kiss each of his laughing daughters. After a few minutes of the Bartlets waving to the cheering crowds, John and Suzanne Hoynes joined them with their teenaged aged children. 

**** 

Back at the Governor's Mansion in Florida, Rob Ritchie stared at the TV with frustration. He was watching Nicholas Bartlet sit on his father's hip laughing and batting the balloons that fell to the stage, while Aislinn stood beside her mother picking up the fallen confetti and throwing it into the air. But it wasn't just the two youngsters that caught his eye. It was the photogenic first and second couples and the line of gorgeous, clean cut Bartlet and Hoynes children. "Jesus Christ," he moaned. "How in the hell can we compete with THAT?" The beautiful strawberry blond daughters of Jed and Abbey Bartlet were laughing and chatting with the dark haired Hoynes children, bending every so often to help with one of their toddler siblings. 

Just a month ago at the Republican Convention they had tried to demonize the two couples, tried to paint them as ultra liberals out destroy American family values, but anyone watching those two beautiful, loving families on that stage tonight would only see family values at their very best. 

Janet Ritchie glared at the TV, with something akin to hatred flashing in her eyes. The Bartlets might frustrate her husband but she was consumed with anger. She watched Abbey Bartlet lift her husband's hand to kiss the back of his knuckles while confetti and balloons continued to rain down on them. She would never forget the way her husband's eyes had been glued to Abbey's chest the night they had met at the opera, or that smug, superior attitude Abbey had given her when she had demanded the negatives back. Somehow there had to be a way to make that bitch pay and she was going to find it. 

**** 

Abbey had barely stepped into their hotel bedroom when she felt Jed grab her by the waist and spin her around in his arms. If he hadn't planned on 'pouncing ' on her earlier, he was certainly making up for it now. His lips were on hers in a flash and for some reason it felt like he had eight hands and they were all over her body, pulling at her clothes and squeezing her flesh. She had known this was coming. This was the way Jed was after a major performance. He fed off the enthusiasm and adulation of the crowd – his adrenaline still pumping furiously through his veins and he was horny as hell. His way of expressing his enthusiasm was very sexual in nature, but unlike a rock star coming off the stage to groupies, he jumped his wife the first chance he got. Usually Abbey got into it, even looked forward to it with anticipation all night. She loved it when her husband was in a take charge mood, loved it when he made her surrender to his will just as much as when she made him to surrender to hers. However, tonight she had not been looking forward to this. Sex had been the last thing on her mind. 

Still, when Jed slipped her earlobe between his lips and began to suckle on it as his hands moved up her back to work the clasp on her bra, she arched into him with a soft moan of pleasure. Jed flung the bra across the room, his big hand covering her warm soft breast. His thumb began to move across her nipple and Abbey pushed her chest harder against that kneading hand. Her fingers had just moved to his belt when she felt Jed step abruptly back from her, his hand still on her breast. 

He was frowning down at her. "Abbey, what's this?" 


	20. Summer Storms

"Hmm…" It took her a moment to come out from the haze of passion. Her eyes fell to where Jed's tanned fingers lay in sharp contrast to the paleness of her breast, just to the left of her nipple. The implication of those fingers was not lost to her and her eyes lifted to his. What she saw in his eyes took her breath away. It was fear, stark fear. 

"Abbey… honey, it feels like a lump." His voice was concerned, tender. 

Oh, God, he didn't think she knew. 

"It's nothing, Jed. It's okay," she tried to reassure him but her voice was quivering. 

"You KNOW about it?" He looked up at her with surprise. 

"I found it when I was doing my monthly self exam." She couldn't believe she was speaking so calmly. She wanted to rage, to cry, and to throw herself into Jed's arms. 

"And Bill said it was nothing?" 

Here it came. Abbey braced herself for her husband's outburst. "I don't know." 

"You don't know? You haven't gotten the results yet? How could you keep this from me?" Dead silence filled the room. "Abbey, tell me you've had this checked out." 

Too choked up to speak Abbey merely shook her head negatively. 

Jed stepped back as if she'd just slapped him. "JESUS CHRIST!" There it was – the explosion – fear and anger coming together in an uncontrolled outburst. "How long have you known about this?!" 

"Not long, Jed, I swear. I didn't find it until after my follow up." 

"DAMMIT WOMAN, how many times have you drilled it into my head – early detection, early detection, EARLY DETECTION!" 

"Jed, don't yell at me!" She grabbed the first thing she could find to cover herself. It was Jed's dress shirt. Tears blurred her eyes as she began to button it. "I'm scared, okay. I'M SCARED!" Abbey's head lifted and Jed's anger completely deflated, his heart twisting with anguish at the tears that trailed down her cheeks. He grabbed her harshly and pulled her into his arms holding her head tightly against his chest, feeling her small body shuddering and the warmth of her tears on his bare skin. 

"It's okay, sssh…It's okay, sweetheart. Everything's going to be okay." The harshness was gone, replaced by the soothing tones of comfort. "I'm sure it's nothing, Abbey. But you have to have it checked out. Make an appointment with Bill tomorrow." 

"I can't." 

"What do you mean, you can't? This is not something you can wait on." 

"I have to. We have the bus tour and…" 

"FUCK the bus tour, Abbey. For Chrissake, this is a helluva a lot more important than some stupid bus tour." 

"I'll do it after the tour." 

"You'll do it tomorrow." Jed's voice was firm with resolve. "You can't put this off." 

"Jed, if I fly back to New Hampshire tomorrow, the press is going to be all over it." 

"I don't care what the press has to say about it." 

"BUT I DO." The torment in those three words was not lost on Jed and they stopped him in his tracks as he waited for clarification. "Don't you see? If the press gets hold of this, it will be on the front page of every newspaper and tabloid. They'll be speculating on my chances of survival, wondering if they can spot reconstruction surgery, waiting to get a picture of me with my hair falling out from chemotherapy. I couldn't stand that, Jed." She sat on the edge of the bed her face in her hands. 

"Abbey," he said her name softly, his voice laced with emotion. "You're getting way ahead of yourself here. You don't even know if it's cancer. It could be nothing. Most of the time these lumps turn out to be nothing, right?" 

Abbey nodded at him through her tears. "But what if it isn't nothing?" 

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it and we'll cross it together. I can't believe that you kept this from me – that you kept these fears to yourself." He wiped away a tear with his thumb. 

"I couldn't tell you, Jed. I couldn't ruin this time for you and, I suppose, I knew you'd make me go home and have it checked out." 

"And you'd be right. We'll fly out tomorrow and…" 

"You can't." 

"What do you mean I can't?" 

"We may be able to find some plausible reason for me to go home, but if you go they'll know something big is up. You don't just abandon a major campaign trip like this for nothing." 

"I don't want you going alone. We'll call your mother." 

"No. I don't want to upset her or the girls until we know something for sure." 

Jed started to mention Jane's name but bit it back at the last moment. Abbey certainly didn't need to be reminded at this time that Jane had been through this before with Patricia, and that Pat had lost her battle with breast cancer. "Millie?" he said instead. 

"Millie's in Europe at that conference, remember?" 

"CJ could go with you." 

"CJ needs to be with you. She's your press secretary and you're going to be getting a lot of press." 

"I don't want you going through this alone." 

"Trust me, Jed. It's better this way; I can fly in under the radar more easily if I'm by myself. But, I won't be alone. You're just a phone call away." 

Jed nodded. He didn't like it, but Abbey's plan had some logic to it. "I feel so helpless, Abbey. What can I do to help you?" 

"Hold me," she told him as she nuzzled in closer to his warm torso. "Just hold me all night and tell me that everything's going to be okay – that nothing will change." 

"It won't, Abbey. This won't change anything." He kissed the top of her head and did as he was asked. He held her all night, but both of them knew that if she did have cancer, damn near everything was going to change for their entire family. 

**** 

"You asked to see me, ma'am?" CJ poked her head into the suite. 

"Yes, come in, CJ. I need your help with something." 

"Anything." 

"I need you to let the press know that I'm going back to New Hampshire this afternoon." 

"You're not coming on the bus tour? It was all worked out. What happened?" 

"I called Dr. Stewart." 

"The doctor who did your appendectomy?" 

"Yes, he's willing to tell the press that he felt the bus tour might be a little too much for me and that I am seeing a physician in New Hampshire to follow up on my surgery." 

"He's willing to say this?" she frowned. "So that means you aren't really seeing a physician for that." 

"No." Abbey took a deep breath and looked CJ straight in the eye. "I'm going to see my personal physician because I found a lump in my breast." 

CJ stared at her in shock. "Oh, Abbey." She let out her breath. "I…I don't know what to say. I'm sorry." She reached her hand out to the smaller woman who sat before her. 

Abbey nodded through the lump in her throat but managed to keep her composure. "It could just be nothing but Jed found it last night and he went ballistic because I'd kept it from him." 

"Of course he did. Abbey, you're a doctor, you know how important early detection is." 

"I guess I didn't want to face it. I didn't want to face what might happen to me." 

"Will they do a mammogram?" 

"Yes, and if it looks suspicious probably a biopsy." 

"Is there anything that I can do?" 

"Keep the press off my tail, PLEASE." 

CJ noted the pleading look in Abbey's eyes. 

"I'll do the best I can. Who knows about this, ma'am?" 

"Other than the doctors involved – just me, Jed, and you. I'd like to keep it that way." 

CJ nodded sympathetically. "You know I'm here if you need to talk, or even just to vent." 

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, CJ." 

**** 

After meeting with CJ, Abbey went into the bedroom to change into a "First Lady" suit in which to travel. As she slipped her shirt over her head and tossed it toward the hamper, she caught a glimpse of her figure in the mirror and moved closer as if transfixed. She stood for a long moment eyeing the way her full breasts filled out the flimsy, very feminine, lavender bra. On their own volition, her fingers lifted to touch the silk and begin to run slowly over the lacy edge then sliding up underneath to weigh her breast. The feel of her hand brought with it the feel of Jed's and the reverent way he would lift and weigh and knead her. The way he would nuzzle and suckle at her as if he could never get enough. But more than his hands, it was his words that haunted her. 

'You're so perfect, Abbey, so perfect.' How many times had he said that to her? 'Okay, son, enjoy them now, but pretty soon you're going to have to share them with me.' … 'ABIGAIL, you're breasts are magnificent. Tell me, Mr. President, was it her magnificent breasts that attracted you to Abigail in the beginning?' … 'Oh, Abbey, your breasts ARE magnificent.' … 'Jesus, Abbey, you have a body made for sin.' On and on it went. 

How much longer was he going to want to 'sin' with her? How was she going to stand it if he looked at her with repulsion rather than desire? How was she going to stand it if he stopped wanting her? 

Jed stood silently in the doorway, watching her, knowing deep inside what she was thinking and not sure how to reassure her. It was when he saw the twin tears trailing down her cheeks that he moved forward and placed his arms on her slender shoulders. 

"No matter what happens, I'm always going to love you and want you." 

"You don't KNOW that." She whirled around on him. "You don't know what it's going to LOOK like. I'll lose my hair." She yanked on a strand of long silky hair knowing how much he loved to run his fingers through it and ball it up in his fists when he made love to her. "And HERE," she flattened a palm over her breast. "All there will be is a big shiny SCAR. What's going to happen when I'm not so PERFECT for you anymore?" 

"Perfect?" 

"You say it over and over when you make love to me. Hell, you were just saying it in Maine when you came to me in the bathtub. Well, if I have a mastectomy, I sure as hell won't be perfect." 

"But you'd be alive and that's all that matters." 

"Is it? Do you know how many women I know whose husbands left them because they lost their breasts?" 

"You think I'd LEAVE you?" He stepped back from her, pain and confusion deeply etched in his face. "After all these years, you honestly think that I'd leave you because of this?" 

She realized that she'd deeply hurt him with that accusation. "No," she admitted, reaching out to tenderly run a finger over his jaw. "But I couldn't bear it if you stayed with me out of an obligation or because you vowed to love me in sickness and in health till death us do part. I only want you to be with me – to stay with me – because you WANT to, never because it's the morally right thing to do." 

Jed shook his head. "Abbey, I fell in love with YOU, not your breasts. I'm not going to lie; I love your breasts. I love all of you, and if it comes down to it, I'll mourn the loss of that breast with you; but if that was all I wanted, I could have had plenty of tits over the years. I had co-eds throw themselves at me at Dartmouth and in Washington, it was political groupies; that isn't news to you. But I didn't want that; I wanted YOU – ALL of you. 

Abbey nodded, well aware of her husband's appeal and the fact that he had never strayed. "Maybe I'm being punished." 

"Punished? For what? And by whom?" 

"By God. For my vanity." 

"Your vanity?" 

"I LIKE how I look in low-cut dresses and I like how YOU look at me in low-cut dresses. I LOVE that there are times you lose your train of thought because your eyes are on my chest. I like to buy sexy lingerie because it makes me feel alluring and beautiful and because the way you look at me in it makes me feel so incredibly desirable. That's pretty damn vain if you ask me, and vanity is a sin, after all." 

"You're human, Abbey, just like the rest of us and I think that you are beautiful and alluring and desirable no matter what you are wearing or doing. It's not just your cleavage or your legs, as great as they may be. It's the whole package – brains, brass, body, and to be honest, most of it is attitude." 

"Attitude?" 

"Yes. There is an aura of sexuality about you that comes through even when you're doing something as simple as reading a book. THAT is what makes men turn their heads when you walk into a room. Your breasts don't make you who you are." 

"But they DO," she insisted. "At least part of who I am. They are part of my sexuality and more than that, my femininity. They're part of what makes me a woman. Do you know what it felt like when my milk would let down and they would swell until they ached? The pride that I took in being able to nourish all of our children from my own body? These breasts are more than just for show or for your enjoyment. " 

Jed nodded. He'd love to watch her nurse their children and had, in fact, been nourished himself a few times. 

"And what if I lose that attitude you say that I have. I know some of those men who leave their wives after mastectomies aren't just selfish bastards who were repulsed by the disfigurement. There has to be more to it than that. I know that I feel my sexiest when I'm feeling good about myself and when I feel that I'm looking good. What if I never feel sexy again?" 

"You will." 

"You sound very sure of yourself." 

"Because I am. If you don't feel sexy, I know how to make you feel sexy." He gave her a lascivious grin that caused her to smile through the tears. Damn if he didn't always have a way of doing that. "Besides, I think this has been an entirely moot conversation. Deep in my heart, I know there is nothing wrong with you." 

"Just don't go too deeply into denial, Jed. I'm going to need you if this is cancer and the kids are going to need you as well." 

Jed nodded and took her hand. "You can count on me, sweetheart. I'm here." 

"That's about the only thing that's getting me through this right now." She lifted his hand and kissed the back of his fingers. 

**** 

Abbey arrived at the colonial farmhouse that had been her home for most of her marriage with a feeling of relief and pain. In spite of the fact that the farm had been in Jed's family for a couple hundred years, it truly was THEIR home. They had put their stamp on it early, determined to make it theirs. It was filled with furniture, carpets and artwork that they'd picked out together. Their books, along with their children's, lined the many bookshelves. Family pictures were everywhere. This place had been her oasis from many a storm. It was the place where she could relax away from the bustling chaos of working in a big city hospital. The place where she could wander the fields lost in grief and thought after losing a patient. It was the place that echoed with years of laughter and tears and arguments. It was quite simply, home, and for a brief moment Abbey allowed herself to wonder if this was where she would come to die. That morbid thought had come to her as she approached the refrigerator and saw the scribbled artwork Aislinn and Nicholas had created and she had so lovingly placed under magnets for everyone to see. Unbidden, the thought came to her that if she were to die, would they even remember her? It was like a kick to the stomach and it took her breath away. She sat for a long moment staring at the crayoned scribble marks through blurred eyes. Suddenly the warm memories of this house were more claustrophobic than healing and she made her way upstairs to change. 

She threw on a pair of jeans and was just reaching into her armoire for a shirt when she remembered. She went to her suitcase and opened it, pulling out the gray T-shirt Jed had worn to bed the previous night. She had pulled it out of the hamper when he wasn't looking and packed it with her clothes. She didn't want him to believe that she was anything but strong, but the truth of the matter was that she had never felt more alone in her life as she did right now. She slipped the shirt on, loving how it overwhelmed her small frame and enveloped her in Jed's scent. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms comfortingly around her small waist wishing that Jed were there to hold her and knowing that he couldn't be. 

Pushing all morbid thoughts aside, she grabbed some apples from the refrigerator and made her way to the barn where she visited with the horses. Aquinnah was at Harmony Point where they now kept the mare so she could ride her more often. But, Zoey, Annie, and Liz all kept their horses in this barn. Before long, she found herself making her way down to the pond. 

The memories in this spot were just as profound as the ones in the house. She and Jed had spent so many great moments here. Family picnics and skating parties, political barbecues and children's birthday parties. They had taught their children to swim right off that dock and had sat on the same dock at sunset with feet dangling into the cold water while they watched deer and sometimes even a moose come nervously out of the woods for a drink. On warm summer nights when the kids were fast asleep, they had come down here and gone skinny dipping under the soft glow of a full moon – the water silky, caressing and sensual. On days when they were able to sneak away, they had made love in the warm fragrant grass under the sun with the breeze blowing over their bare bodies. Remembering those moments really brought it home to Abbey just how physical her love for Jed was. They used lovemaking quite often to express not only love, but also joy, happiness, excitement or even just to comfort the other. 

She made her way to the far side of the pond, where a gurgling brook emptied into it. That was where the old park bench sat. It was the spot where Jed had proposed to her. The spot she had taken him to when she gave him his birthday present twenty years ago, a blue positive home pregnancy stick. That was the year she'd given him Zoey. The best birthday present he'd ever gotten, he'd told her. She ran her fingers over the heart that he'd carved out on it the first time he'd ever brought her up her, and over the initials JB&AON 4ever. They'd been so young then, so sure their love would last forever. Could they truly have known that it would? Could that young girl she had been ever really know the strength and depth of the love that would grow over the years for the man that had become her other half? 

She sat on the bench drawing her knees up under her chin, staring disconsolately over the water – the haunting calls of the loons that made their home on the pond every summer adding to her melancholy. When she had first moved here, she had loved to sit out on the porch after dinner drinking her coffee and listening to the loons and the peepers. She loved the romantic notion of the loons mating for life and the lilting calls they made to each other. Then, one afternoon when they'd brought the kids down for a swim, they had found the female dead on the shore. The baleful calls of the male for his mate all day and night had broken her heart. Neither she nor Jed was surprised when they found the male dead a week later. A friend of Jed's at Fish and Game said they probably had a disease but the two of them were convinced that the male had simply died of a broken heart. The memory of that time brought back all of the thoughts Abbey had been having earlier. What would happen to Jed if she were to die? Would he have the strength to go on? Would the stress of her illness and death send him into secondary M.S.? Would he find another woman to love and raise their children with her? Abbey choked back a sob just as she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hello, Abigail." 

Abbey turned with surprise to see her mother-in law standing beside her. 

"Emily." She wiped at her eyes. "What are you doing here?" 

"Josiah sent me. He didn't want you to be alone." 

"JED sent you?" Abbey was shocked. She was going to kill him. She didn't need to deal with Emily Bartlet on top of everything else. 

"Yes, he did. After all, we may finally have something in common." 


	21. Summer Storms

"CJ, what the hell is going on up there?" Leo was sitting back at his desk in Washington watching excerpts of Jed's stump speeches as the bus tour moved north into Oregon. 

"What do you mean?" CJ asked. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Reporters had been after her all day to explain what was going on with the President. 

"Don't feed me that line, CJ. This is ME you're talking to. I've been fielding calls all day from lawmakers who are hearing through the press that the President has come out of the convention flat." 

"Maybe he's a little tired." 

"A little tired?" Leo was incredulous and worried. "Jed Bartlet comes out of these events like a horse at the Kentucky Derby starting gate. He DOESN'T come out flat. I need to know. Is he sick? Is it the thing? Should I call, Abbey?" 

"DON'T call Abbey!" It was only after the urgent words had come from her mouth that she realized she was only serving to raise Leo's suspicions that something was wrong. 

"Why can't I call Abbey? You answer to ME, CJ, and I need to know what the hell is going on." 

CJ bit her lip. Abbey had spoken to her in strict confidence – woman to woman. It wasn't something that she could betray. Not even to her boss. "Don't pull rank with me, Leo. The President is not sick. If you want to find out what the problem is then maybe you should fly up here yourself." 

There, it was out. It was what she had been thinking all day. The President had been giving his speeches as if he were a robot. He was a good enough speaker that the crowds were unaware of the stiffness in his gestures, the lack of passion in his voice or the absence of any real enthusiasm emanating from him. He was merely speaking as an ordinary candidate and when Jed Bartlet spoke it was usually anything but ordinary. Oftentimes, no matter how many times CJ had heard a speech, the President could change an inflection or emphasize a point in such a way that it could still give her shivers or make her want to jump to her feet and applaud with the crowd. She had not gotten any shivers today. 

Back on the bus, the President had been quiet and withdrawn, often lost in thought. She watched Zoey tease him and tell him jokes but his smile never quite made it to his eyes. It had hurt CJ to watch the young woman and the two toddlers with their father, knowing that they were completely unaware of what their mother was going through and that their lives might completely be altered by the end of the week. 

Leo was still in a bit of shock from CJ's last statement. "Do YOU think that I should fly up there?" 

CJ watched the President get out of the bus and head toward the hotel, shoulders slumped, head down. He needed somebody to talk to, to confide in. 

"Yeah, Leo, I think you should come." 

**** 

"Hello, Abigail." 

Abbey turned with surprise to see her mother-in law standing beside her. 

"Emily" she wiped at her eyes. "What are you doing here?" 

"Josiah sent me. He didn't want you to be alone." 

"JED sent you?" Abbey was shocked. She was going to kill him. She didn't need to deal with Emily Bartlet on top of everything else. 

"Yes, he did. After all, we may finally have something in common." 

"What?" Abbey eyed her warily. 

"Come now, you've always been a forthright woman. Don't try to hold back on me now." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"He told me. Josiah told me that he found a lump in your breast and that you're back here to have it checked out tomorrow." 

"Well, it seems to me that Mr. Josiah Bartlet has a very BIG mouth." Abbey started to get to her feet. 

"Don't be angry with him, dear. He's frantic at the thought of you being here alone, dealing with this alone." 

"I can handle it." 

"Maybe you can, but why should you have to? You're not alone, Abigail." 

"Are you speaking of yourself now?" 

"Yes, I've been through this. I know how you're feeling. I can help you." 

Abbey looked at her mother-in-law completely stunned. Fifteen years earlier, Emily had undergone a double mastectomy. Nobody in the family, but John, had been told about the surgery. Abbey had found out quite by accident when a colleague had mentioned seeing her mother-in-law at Catholic Medical Center in Manchester. She and Jed had rushed to the hospital ready to care for her, ready to help her through the trauma. They had been angrily turned away. Emily had brushed off their concern and their need to help. Jed had continued to stop by his parents' home while his mother was undergoing chemotherapy, but Emily had become so violently upset by his presence that he ceased visiting, afraid that it would do her more harm than good. The stubborn Irishwoman who had passed on those genes to her son had gone through her entire illness alone save for her husband, and with John Bartlet being the way that he was, she might as well have been completely alone. 

"You want to help ME? Why should I need your help anymore than you needed mine all those years ago?" 

"I was a stubborn fool. I admit it. I was embarrassed by my illness." 

"You were embarrassed to have cancer?" 

"BREAST cancer. I was embarrassed to have all this attention diverted…" She looked down at her chest. "…there." 

Once upon a time Abbey would have answered that cancer was cancer no matter where you got it. She wasn't quite so analytical about it anymore. Breast cancer was different because it affected not just her life, but a part of her body that made her a sexual being, a woman, and it was visible. Certainly there were other parts of her body that were just as linked to her womanhood – her uterus for one. But having a hysterectomy would have been different, at least at this stage of her life. She had all the children she wanted and removing her uterus was so much more private. Nobody would stare at her trying to see if they could see the difference in her body as they would if she lost her breast. SHE might feel empty, but nobody would be able to share that with her. It would be bad enough if she were dealing with this ten years ago when she was just Dr. Abbey Bartlet. Now she was the First Lady of the United States living her life in a goldfish bowl. If she had breast cancer the entire world would know about it and be scrutinizing her. For a private person such as she was, the thought of that made her physically nauseous. 

"Try having the entire world looking at you…THERE." 

"I guess you won't be able to hide it, will you?" 

"Not the way that you did. Why didn't you let us help you, Emily? We were your family. I'm a doctor; I could have helped you find the best oncologists and helped you to take care of your incision sites. I could have brought you for chemo and taken care of you when you were sick." 

"I didn't want anyone to see me weak like that. You know how John was; he hated weak people and I wanted to prove to him for once that I wasn't weak. Besides, Abigail, you were busy practicing medicine in Boston and raising your three girls. Josiah was flying in and out from Washington. I didn't want to be a burden." 

"You wouldn't have been a burden. You were family and you were sick. I could have taken time off. I did it when my mother had her stroke last year." 

"She's your mother." 

"And you're Jed's mother. You're my children's grandmother. Whether you like it or not, you're my family, too." 

Abbey's eyes widened as she saw Emily's eyes get suspiciously brighter than they were a minute ago. Were those actual tears? 

"I never knew that you felt that way." 

"Well, you didn't make it easy. I know you never really liked me, that you never wanted me for Jed." 

"It wasn't you, _per se_." 

"You wanted him to become a priest." 

"Yes. I was selfish. My one rebellion in my marriage was to hang on to my faith with both hands. I tried to instill that faith into both my boys, but it was Josiah who took to it. Josiah was so much more a Flynn than a Bartlet. There was nothing cold or unemotional about him. He was loving and caring and sweet and he loved the idea of helping people. I think that was the part of his faith that was strongest, not the ritual and mystery or playing church politics. He genuinely wanted to help people. I pushed him toward the priesthood as a way of spending his life doing that and I ignored the other side to my son that would have made him a horrible priest, at least as far as the hierarchy goes, his passion." 

Abbey looked up with surprise and Emily gave her a wry smile. "Not passion of the flesh, dear. That came after he met you." 

Abbey smiled and continued to listen. 

"There was always something in Josiah, something that caused him to question, to never accept the standard response. He does what he believes to be right and damn the consequences. It caused a lot of problems with his father over the years and it would have caused a lot of problems with the church hierarchy. Not to mention, he never really had the calling." 

"I always thought that you believed it was meeting me that turned Jed away from becoming a priest." 

"For a while I tried to tell myself that it was. The girls that Jed dated in high school were so different from you." 

"Girls like Betsy Talbot?" Abbey wrinkled her nose. 

"Yes," Emily smiled at her daughter-in-law's response. 

"Proper, quiet, soft-spoken…" 

"Colorless," Emily added. "He'd have been bored out of his mind with a woman like Betsy. You brought color into Josiah's life. Color and laughter and freedom. God, how I envied you." 

"You envied me?" 

"I used to watch the two of you when you would come to visit – your heads so close together – whispering, laughing and teasing, your eyes so filled with love for each other. You were so close – two peas in a pod. I watched you arguing with each other over some political speech and you matched Josiah – point for point. Your passionate response just as strong as his. You were so outspoken and sure of yourself; so confident in who you were and of Josiah's love for you. I was jealous of that. You had a freedom that I never had. I was never sure enough of who I was or of my husband's love for me to fight back about much of anything." 

"Is that why you never fought for Jed? You said that you loved the warmth and sweetness in him, so why the HELL did you let John try to BEAT that out of him? I've never understood that. I'm a mother, Emily. I have five children and I can't imagine EVER letting anyone harm a hair on their heads." Abbey took a deep breath and stared Emily defiantly in the eye, not really believing that after all these years, she was finally getting all of this out into the open. She was in forbidden territory here. This was a subject that did not get touched in the Bartlet household except between her and Jed. 

"What are you talking about, Abigail?" Emily looked genuinely stunned. "John didn't beat Josiah." 

"Yes, Emily, HE DID." Abbey said firmly. 

"No, no, he wouldn't…I mean… yes, he was hard on Jed. He was a hard man. He spanked him, but that was before it was politically incorrect to discipline your kids. You can't call that beating." 

"I'm not talking about a tap on the rear or on the fingers. I'm talking about getting backhanded across the face and punched in the stomach and being whipped with a belt across his back." 

"He NEVER...He...He couldn't have…" Emily was clearly horrified. 

"But he DID." Abbey was in tears now, remembering the torment her husband's childhood had been and how hard it had been for him to open up to her about the abuse. 

"I never knew, Abigail." Tears streamed down the old woman's cheeks. "You have to believe me. I swear, I never knew. Why didn't he come to me?" 

"Why would he? You always seemed to take John's side about everything. Maybe you didn't see him physically strike Jed, but you stood there often enough while John belittled him and ridiculed him and put down every achievement that he ever had. Jed is a wounded man, Emily. I've spent my life holding him and healing him and trying to give him all the love that he was deprived of and that he deserved. Yet, to this day, he still carries the scars of his childhood." 

"Oh, God, if only I'd known," Emily moaned. 

"Would you have stopped him?" 

Emily brought her fingers to her lips and was silent for a moment, remembering the stern cold man who had been her husband and she honestly could not answer the question. 

"I'd like to think that I would have tried." She looked up at Abbey with pain filled eyes. "No wonder you hate me so much." 

"I don't hate you. I've just never understood you." 

"How could you understand me? You're nothing like me. You have a life outside of your marriage. You're loving and affectionate and open with ALL of your emotions. Your daughters would never be afraid to come to you with their problems." 

"I sincerely hope not." 

"So, why are you closing off now?" 

"What?" 

"I think we need to talk about why I came here to begin with. You found a lump in your breast and you're having it checked out tomorrow. Tell me what you're feeling. Let me help you." 

**** 

Jed had a few hours of down time in the hotel suite before speaking at a fundraiser later that night. His plan was to play with the twins for a little while, take a nap and leave. That was before he noticed Zoey's laptop computer left open on the coffee table. She had left it that way when she'd gone to play cards next door with some of the staffers. He sat for a while building houses out of blocks with the kids, but still that laptop beckoned. His heart was not in playtime and his children had picked up on his sour mood and were virtually ignoring him. Finally, unable to fight his curiosity, he emptied a duffel bag filled with toys and left the children to their own devices. Thankfully, Zoey's password had been stored and he was able to zip onto the Internet. He found himself Google searching for breast cancer sites and was shocked by the statistics and the harsh reality of the disease that stole a woman's femininity, her self-esteem and, in some cases, her life. He read heartbreaking accounts of fear and loss, becoming completely engrossed in the feelings and emotions of these women, many of the same feelings and emotions that his wife had shared with him the previous night. He had been so worried about Abbey losing her life that he had simply brushed aside her concerns about losing her breast. It seemed like such a small thing when it came to her life. But, as he was reading here, and as Abbey had tried to explain to him, it would be an absolutely life-altering event and how HE accepted it was going to be of tantamount importance when it came to any future sexual relationship or emotional intimacy between the two. He still truly believed that anything was worth saving Abbey's life but he was starting to see why she had been fixating so strongly on losing her breast. 

His eyes widened with surprise when he clicked on a page that held a picture of a woman's chest not long after having had a mastectomy. He forced himself to look at it, thankful that there was no face, that he didn't have to identify this woman as a person. It wasn't so bad, really. A flat young boy's chest where once there had been a breast and a large pink puckered scar. He tried to look at the picture as if it were his Abbey and tears blurred his eyes, not because it would disgust him or repulse him, but because he knew how seeing herself like that would effect his wife. 

For a while he had been able to hear the kids whining in the background but had been so immersed in his reading that he had tuned them out. Both kids had picked up on his anxiety and had been a bit crabby all day. Now their cries were becoming more strident and they were arguing over a toy. 

"Mine!" Aislinn pulled at the plastic guitar. 

"No mine!" Nicholas demanded, pulling back hard causing Aislinn to fall on her rear and let out a loud wail of outrage. 

"Will you two KNOCK IT OFF!" Jed shouted impatiently, his fist slamming down hard on the coffee table. His nerves were just not able to take their squabbling right now. Both children were dead silent with the shock of his outburst before their faces crumpled and the tears came. Their father rarely yelled at them, at least not harshly like he just had and it had scared them. 

"Mama!" Aislinn cried. "Wan Mama!" 

"Wan Mama!" Nicholas echoed his sister's sentiment, grabbing his Tigger and clutching it to his chest. 

Jed stared at the children, overcome with guilt. It hadn't been fair to take out his anxiety on them and now he'd frightened them. He didn't blame them for wanting Abbey. He certainly wasn't dealing with this very well. 

"I'm sorry, guys. Come here." 

"Wan Mama!" Aislinn cried louder, backing away from him. It killed him when his children did that, knowing that that was how he had reacted to his father for most of his life. He never wanted his children to be afraid of him. 

"I know you do, sunshine." He squatted before them and picked them up carrying them back to the couch to hold them tightly to his chest. "I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. Daddy's just an old grump today." 

"Wan my mama… wan my mama…" Nicholas continued to hiccup against Jed's chest. 

"I know, sport. I want your mama, too. She'll be back with us soon." Tears burned in Jed's eyes as he soothed his crying children by patting their shuddering little backs, feeling their fragile knobby spines and tiny shoulders. They were so little, so heartbreakingly young. What was going to happen to them if they didn't have Abbey? PLEASE, God, he silently pleaded. Please don't let her have cancer. They need her so much. I need her so much. 

"Mr. President, would you like me to take them?" 

Jed opened his wet eyes to see Izzy in the doorway. 

"No thanks. I'll tuck them in myself in a little while." 

An hour later, CJ entered the suite to make sure the President knew his sound-bite answer for the night. She expected to see him relaxing on the couch, maybe taking the nap she'd strongly urged him to take. He wasn't. As she walked by the coffee table, her eyes were drawn to the computer screen and the picture that he had been looking at. A strange sort of pain moved through her chest at the thought of Abbey having to endure that, at what it would do to the couple that she had come to know and love. She paused for a moment looking at herself in the mirror remembering all those times Abbey had tried to get her to show a little more cleavage and she'd laughed that she didn't have enough to show. Well, she might not have much of a bust, but what she did have she would hate to lose. She couldn't imagine what Abbey was going through with that being a very real possibility for her. 

While she stood looking into the mirror, she heard the President's voice coming from one of the adjoining bedrooms. She moved toward his voice and stood watching him tuck the children into their port-a-cribs. A warm feeling of tenderness spread through her as she watched him standing there in the glow of the nightlights, so handsome and out of place in his tuxedo. He was leaning down and speaking softly to each child individually, rubbing their backs, fixing their covers and kissing them good night. She heard their sleepy requests for their mother and his soft deep voice reassuring them that she would be back soon and suddenly the pain returned and it was sharp. She hadn't been much older than the Bartlet twins when she had lost her mother, the difference being that her father hadn't known how to raise a girl child. She had never had frilly party dresses and pretty hair bows or someone to go out shopping with her for her first bra, but worst of all she'd never had a parent that she could talk to. That her father loved her she had no doubt; that he had absolutely no idea what to do with her, she also did not doubt. It was different with Jed Bartlet. He'd know what to do if the time came. She had seen him dress his youngest daughter in party dresses and fix her hair with bows and somehow she could even picture him bra shopping with a pre-pubescent Aislinn. He had been surrounded by females for all of his married life, but rather than remaining aloof as her father had, Jed had immersed himself in "girldom" as he referred to it. Yes, she could easily see raising his youngest two children alone; what she couldn't see was him living without Abbey. They were so connected. Two halves of a whole, partners in every sense of the word and she couldn't imagine how he would go on without her. 

**** 

"So, tell me, Abigail. What is your greatest fear, other than dying, of course?" They were walking now, through the orchard and back toward the house. 

"I think you must know…" 

"The disfigurement." Emily nodded. 

"And how Jed will react to that. Can I ask you a question?" 

"I said I was here to help, didn't I? Ask away." 

"How did John react? You know, the first time he saw you after the mastectomies." 

"I don't know." 

"You don't know?" Abbey gave her a puzzled look. 

"You spent a lot of time in our house. You know we had separate bedrooms." 

"Yes, but I thought it was because John snored or something… Emily, John was alive for six years after your surgery. Are you telling me that in six years he never ONCE…uh…visited your bedroom?" 

"You sound very shocked." 

"I am. SIX YEARS?" Abbey thought that if she had to go six months without Jed in her bed, she'd go insane with need, never mind six years. "I can't believe that he was that cruel." 

"Who?" 

"John. He wouldn't make love to you because of the mastectomies? NOW you know why I'm afraid." 

"Let's back up a minute here, shall we? First of all Josiah is NOTHING like his father, and the reason that he never saw me after the mastectomies is because I moved out of the bedroom." 

"You did? Why? Couldn't you bear for him to see you that way?" 

"Actually it was for longer than six years. I had moved out of our bedroom ten years prior to that." 

"YOU moved out? Why? Was he cheating on you?" 

"Did John seem like the type of man to cheat?" 

Abbey thought for a moment. Her father-in-law had been one of the stiffest, coldest men she'd ever met and the truth of the matter was she couldn't imagine him ever working up enough of a passion to even have sex never mind carry on with two women. 

"No, I guess not," Abbey admitted. "So why did you move out?" 

"I went through the change." 

"So?" 

"Children were no longer possible." 

"I repeat, so?" 

"Abigail, sometimes I wonder if you ever paid attention to your catechism," Emily chastised her with a shake of the head. "Marital relations are supposed to be for procreation only." 

"So, you're telling me that you really believe that you can only have sex if you're trying for a baby?" 

"Well, you don't have to try for it but you can't try to stop it from happening either and you shouldn't be doing it if it isn't possible. That's why the church is against birth control, you know that. We've had this discussion before. You just choose to ignore that part of your religion." 

"Yes, I do. It's foolish. So, you're telling me that you haven't had sex in almost twenty-five years and your husband has only been gone for seven?" 

"You sound appalled, dear." 

"I AM appalled. How could you stand it? Eighteen YEARS you put him off. No wonder he was such grumpy personality." 

"Oh, he was grumpy before I moved out of the bedroom. Honestly, Abigail, you act as if this is a big thing. I had done my duty for over fifty years." 

"Your DUTY? You sound like some Victorian maiden. It's hardly a duty." 

"Well, we were never like you and Josiah anyway. You two have never been able to keep your hands off of each other. To be honest, I've never known what all the fuss was about," Emily sniffed. 

"Well, if you don't know, then your husband was not half the lover that your son is." 

"ABIGAIL, really!" 

"Sorry." Abbey bit back a smile. "For a minute there you were so accessible that I forgot who I was talking to." 

Emily rolled her eyes in her usual long suffering way, but then gave her a humor-laced smile. It was strange enough to have the kind of personal discussion she had been having with her daughter-in-law, but even stranger to be light heartedly teased by her. 

Abbey inhaled deeply the scent of the apple blossoms and smiled as they neared where the orchard edged the pasture. 

"What are you smiling about?" Emily asked. 

"I was just remembering one fall when Zoey was still a baby and we all came out here to pick some apples so I could make the baby and the girls some homemade applesauce. While we were walking, Ellie happened to find a couple of baby birds that had fallen out of their nest. She was devastated. She turned those big, sad, pleading eyes of hers on Jed, begging him with all the drama of a five-year-old, "DO something, Daddy. DO something. The baby birds will die down here on the ground." 

"And did he?" Emily smiled, already knowing the answer. 

"You know Jed. Of course he did. He carried those baby birds, just as gentle as he could be and he climbed the tree to put them back in their nest. Of course, on the way back down one of the limbs broke under his weight and he crashed to the ground." 

"That sounds like Josiah," Emily laughed. 

"He didn't care. Elizabeth and Ellie were all over him like he was their hero and Jed was just basking in that." 

"That's the kind of man that he is. Whenever you worry about Josiah not being there for you, you just remember that six months ago he saved your life. He took that knife for you; there's nothing that he wouldn't do for you, Abigail. NOTHING." 

Abbey smiled through her tears. She knew that Emily was right but it wasn't Jed being there for her that she was worried about, it was that he would force himself to be with her – to touch her – out of some sense of moral duty. THAT was what would destroy her. 

**** 

Deep in the night when the house was quiet and the demons came to call, Abbey began to shake uncontrollably. If nothing else, her mother-in-law's visit had kept her mind occupied during the day so that she hadn't had to dwell on her visit to the clinic in the morning. But now, alone in her bed, with no one to hold her, every worst case scenario haunted her mind. She could picture Bill Vincent sitting at his desk telling her that her lump was a tumor, telling her that it was malignant and had spread to her lymph nodes, telling her that she had six months to live. She drew the blankets closer, wrapped her arms tightly around herself trying to offer herself a measure of comfort. Sweat broke out on her forehead, her heart was racing, and she was still shaking so hard that her teeth were chattering. She was scared. So scared she didn't know what to do. She thought about running down the hall to Emily, but it wasn't Emily that she needed. It was Jed. She tried to be strong, tried to deal with the terror that stabbed into her every time she thought about tomorrow's visit, but it was too much for her. 

It had taken Jed the better part of a couple of hours to fall asleep. He had tossed and turned and looked at the clock willing morning to come soon. So, he was not deeply asleep when he heard the musical tones of his cell phone. 

"Mmm…Charlie, this better be good," he murmured sleepily. He frowned at the silence on the other line, then jolted fully awake when he heard a choked sob. "Abbey? Abbey, is that you?" 

"Oh, Jed. I'm scared. I'm so scared. I… I can't breath… I can't stop shaking. Please help me." 


	22. Summer Storms

"Abbey? Baby, calm down." He tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice and spoke to her calmly and clearly. "It sounds like you're having an anxiety attack." 

"I KNOW what it is," she snapped. "I just can't seem to make it stop. Everything is just closing in on me. I'm so scared about tomorrow, Jed…What if…" 

"Ssh…just relax, sweetheart. Don't worry about the what-ifs. Everything is going to be fine. YOU'RE going to be fine." 

"You don't know that, Jed…You don't know that…" Her breath was coming in short gasps now. Jed looked wildly at the clock, desperate to get to her and comfort her. It was 3 a.m.. 

"I do, Abbey. I know that in my heart. Oh, Abbey, sweetheart, let me come to you. I can be there by daybreak if we leave now." 

"No, please don't, Jed. PLEASE. If you come, you'll bring the entire press corps with you." 

"I don't know what to do for you, Abbey." His hands were tearing through his hair with frustration. "I can't help you from way over here." 

"Yes, you can. Just talk to me. Please just talk to me. I need to hear your voice. Jed…I can't stop shaking." 

"It's okay. You just need to relax. Just listen to my voice. Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your mouth. Just like when you were in labor." Jed could hear her breathing on the other end and knew that she was complying. "That's it, sweetheart. Inhale…and…exhale… You're doing great." 

Abbey smiled through her tears. He always had been a great Lamaze coach – strong, calm, reassuring, and so tender that it never failed to make her heart swell with love for him. Before long Jed could tell that her breathing was more even and she was no longer sniffling. 

"How are you doing? Better?" 

"Mmm…yes." Abbey had stopped shivering and her heart was no longer racing. It was then that she looked at the clock and realized that it was just after 3 a.m.. With her newfound calmness came embarrassment and dismay at having bothered him. Night terrors were something he should have to soothe his children through, not his wife. "Jed, I'm so sorry for waking you up. I feel so childish; you have to be up in a just a couple of hours to get on the road and here I am keeping you up all night. I'm sorry." 

"Abbey, don't apologize for needing me." 

"I should have just gotten some warm milk or even woken up your mother." 

"NO." Jed's voice was adamant. 

"What?" 

"When you're alone and scared in the middle of the night you call ME. I'M the one you turn to, Abbey. I'll always be here for you." 

"I'm sorry that I'm not dealing with this better." 

"Abbey, I swear, if you apologize one more time I'm going to scream. You don't always have to be a rock, you know. Lean on me, let me help you." 

"You do help me. Just hearing your voice helps me." 

"I just wish that I was there to hold you. What else can I do?" 

"You really want to help?" 

"Anything." 

"Read me one of your campaign speeches." 

"Huh?" 

"Talk to me until I fall asleep. I'll keep the phone up to my ear." 

"Are you trying to tell me that my campaign speech is BORING?" he feigned outrage. 

"Only when you've heard it ten dozen times." 

"Well, I happen to think that my speech is too exciting for bedtime material, but I am in the middle of reading that McCullough book you gave me about John Adams' life. I could read that to you." 

"That sounds fine." 

And so, with the sound of her husband's wonderfully rich and distinctive voice in her ear, Abbey snuggled up to her pillow and was finally able to grow relaxed and drowsy enough to doze off into slumber land and a sleep that was blessedly devoid of nightmares. 

Jed was not so lucky in that respect. The panic in his wife's voice and her tears had done him in. Guilt clawed at him for not being with her. He wished to God that there was some way he could figure out to get home and be with her for the tests the following day; but no matter how many plans ran through his head, the bottom line was that wherever he went the press would follow. 

When Leo arrived at what Charlie referred to as the ungodly hour of 5:00 a.m., he entered the hotel suite to find Jed in his bathrobe, his head thrown back on the overstuffed chair, his glasses still perched on his nose and he was snoring softly. He frowned wondering why Jed was sleeping out here on the chair rather than in his bed. He moved forward to look at the manila folder that lay open on his lap wondering what was so all fire important that it kept him up all night. 

"Cutting edge and alternative methods of treating breast cancer?" Leo muttered as he read the titles of the printed articles. Jed stirred at the sound of a voice thinking it was one of the kids. His papers scattered to the floor. 

"Leo?" he said with surprise. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Washington?" 

"Yeah, I came back to make sure this campaign doesn't derail." 

"Derail?" Jed frowned. "What are you talking about? Nothing's gone wrong." 

"Maybe not, but nothing is particularly going right either. You were so inspiring at the convention, so filled with enthusiasm and passion and vision. What happened?" 

"Nothing happened." 

"I beg to differ. I have dozens of reporters who say that your head appears to be in the clouds at times and you are simply going through your speeches as if on autopilot. Most people wouldn't know, but the reporters know and they are starting to ask questions. You know what that means." 

"No, Leo, why don't you enlighten me." 

"They're going to start asking if you're sick." 

Jed simply stared at him blankly. 

"You're not, are you?" 

"No, Leo, I'm not sick." 

"Then what is it. It's bad enough that Abbey decided not to go on the tour, but now with you…" 

"Leave Abbey out of this," Jed snapped. 

Leo looked at him, understanding crossing his face. "You two had another fight, didn't you? That's why you can't concentrate and that's why she huffed off to New Hampshire." 

"She didn't HUFF off to New Hampshire." Jed gave his Chief of Staff a long measured gaze. He'd made some decisions in the wee hours of the morning and he supposed he should tell Leo about them so that he could be prepared. "She's seeing a doctor." 

"Is she having problems with the appendectomy?" Leo's irritation with her changed to concern. 

"No, everything is fine with that. It's just…the other night after my nominating speech, when we got back here we were…you know… messing around and –" 

"I think I've heard enough." It was still hard for Leo to deal with the feelings that he had for Jed's wife. 

"No, you haven't. While I was…touching her…I found a lump in her breast." 

"No." Leo's eyes widened with shock. Not Abbey, was his first thought, this couldn't happen to Abbey. "YOU found it? Christ." He nearly groaned aloud for the man. How would you tell your wife that you just found a lump in her breast? 

"Yeah, I found it but she'd already found it during her monthly self exam. She just had her yearly mammogram a few months ago and nothing showed up. Dammit, I thought we were clear for another year." 

"Well, just because you found a lump doesn't mean it's cancer, right?" 

"Right." 

"Then we shouldn't dwell on what hasn't happened yet." 

"I have to, Leo. I have to be prepared. Abbey's taking this very hard. She's terrified and I HAVE to be strong for her. She needs me. But, inside…Ah hell, I'm falling apart." 

"I think she'd understand." 

"No, if I fall apart then SHE'LL fall apart and she's hanging on by one fragile thread as we speak. She can't know just how scared that I am." 

"But you are. Scared, I mean." 

"Out of my wits. I can't lose her, Leo. It isn't fair. I'm the one with the chronic illness; I'M the one that's supposed to get sick. Not her. You know, she mentioned that she thought she was being punished by God for her vanity." 

"Her vanity?" 

"Because she enjoys looking sexy and takes pride in her body." 

"That's ridiculous." 

"Which is what I told her. But what if it is a punishment? What if I'm being punished for Shareef?" 

"You're NOT being punished for Shareef. First of all, you did the world a favor by getting rid of him and second of all, aren't you the one always telling me that God doesn't work that way? That he doesn't punish us?" 

"I'm beginning to wonder. Growing up, the nuns taught me to be afraid of a punishing God and that was the God that my mother believed in as well. It was through the youth group that I learned of the benevolent, loving God. But, now I'm beginning to wonder." 

"Well, even if he was a punishing God, why would he do this to Abbey? Why take it out on her and make her suffer? You wouldn't hurt your daughter to punish your son, would you?" 

"No, of course not." 

"Then why would God? I'm not the best person to discuss religious philosophy with, but I do believe that if God truly wanted to punish you, he'd just let you slip right into secondary M.S.." 

"I never thought of it that way. I suppose you're right. It's just…I want something or someONE to blame. I want to be angry and scream at how unfair it all is. But, there isn't anyone to take this out on. Shit like this just happens. You're going along minding your own business when life decides to come up and give you a good swift kick in the ass. What's the saying? Life's what happens when you're making other plans?" 

"And you have big ones." 

"Yes, that brings me to why I broached this subject with you to begin with. I've done some pretty heavy soul searching this morning and I've come to a decision. If Abbey finds out that she has cancer I'm going to drop out of the race." 

"NO." Leo looked stunned, as if Jed had planted a fist straight into his gut "You can't. It's too late. THINK about what you would be doing. You'd be HANDING the election to Ritchie on a silver platter." 

"Do you honestly think that I care?" Jed was incredulous. "Well, of course I care, but there are some things that are more important than me being elected President." 

"But –" 

"No buts, Leo. If this turns out to be cancer, Abbey is going to need everything she has to fight that battle and so I am. And I'll tell you, my friend, it is not a battle that I intend on losing." The steely determination on Jed's face was almost frightening. 

"Lots of women fight breast cancer and their husbands don't quit working over it." 

"Their husbands aren't the President of the United States. I don't have a '9 to 5, I can rearrange my schedule around chemo visits' type of job." 

"I guess not," Leo admitted. 

"We also have two young children, Leo. They're going to need me almost as much as Abbey will. No, I know this is the right decision. I'll have to be there for my family and that comes FIRST." 

"What about, Abbey? Do you honestly think that she's going to let you drop out? She's going to tell you she's strong enough to deal with this on her own." 

"She probably will, but she won't fight me on this one. It's another reason that I think this is the right decision. Abbey hates being in the public eye all the time as it is. Do you know how demoralizing and hurtful it would be for her to watch her battle waged out on the evening news and on the tabloid covers? Do you have any idea how much she would hate for the public to be scrutinizing her to see if she is losing her hair yet, or if they can notice reconstruction surgery? I won't put her through that, Leo. I WON'T." 

Leo nodded but his head was still reeling with everything that had just been thrown at him. He'd been so concerned about Jed quitting the race and what that would do to the Party, he hadn't really thought about what it would be like for Abbey. Now it hit him like a ton of bricks. Abbey could die. She could actually die. That beautiful, vibrant, sassy woman could actually shrink away to nothing and slip out of their lives. He rubbed his fingers over his weary, burning eyes and sat back in a chair. When he re-opened them, Jed could see the pain, could see that he was thinking like a friend now, not a Chief of Staff. 

"What if…" The words were hard for Leo to get out. "What if she loses her battle?" 

Leo's words were a dagger to the heart and Jed looked away unable to share his anguish. He blinked away at the tears that pooled in his eyes but Leo could hear those tears in his choked voice. "I'm scared to death about that, Leo, but I can't let Abbey know just how scared I am. I have to be strong and reassuring for her and sometimes that is so damn hard. But, if that happens, at least I'll know that I spent every last moment that I could with my wife, not in some situation room meeting and I won't have any regrets about that. But, that isn't going to happen, Leo. I won't LET that happen." 

**** 

Abbey stood at the bottom of the steps that led up to a large white Victorian home in Manchester's elegant North End. The home had been renovated into doctor's offices and Abbey had been going there for years. She had some wonderful memories of this place – finding out that she was pregnant, hearing first heartbeats, and witnessing the miracle of an ultrasound when she could actually seen her babies moving around inside her body. She also had days when she dreaded coming here – mammograms and pap smears – there was always that fear of something turning up. But, never had she been more scared than she was now. Something WAS going to show up; it was just a matter of what exactly that something was. She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down and enter the building with dignity. She felt Emily take her hand and squeeze it, and surprisingly there was comfort from that hand. If nothing else she knew that she was not alone. 

**** 

Jed was sitting at a diner somewhere around Seattle talking to voters, everyday people, which was something he didn't get to do all that often anymore. He was moving to another table when Charlie approached him with his cell phone His blood ran cold in an instant. He knew exactly who it was, even before Charlie uttered, "Mrs. Bartlet." 

Jed took the phone and made his way over to the hall and into the men's room where it was relatively quiet and private. 

"Hi, sweets. How's it going?" He tried for cheerful and upbeat but knew he'd come off flat. 

"I had the mammogram." Her voice was shaky. 

"And?" 

"And there was definitely something there. No surprise about that." 

"Is it…" 

"He can't tell from the mammogram." 

"So what's next?" 

"Biopsy." 

Jed sank to the floor, his back still against the wall. Biopsy. The word held almost as many negative connotations as the big C did. 

"Are you still there, Jed?" 

"I'm here." He cleared his throat of emotion. "When is he going to do it?" 

"Normally there would be a wait, but since it's me, he's going to do it this afternoon." 

"What will he do? Cut it out?" 

"No, he's not going to do a lumpectomy. He'll just insert a needle into it and pull out tissue and fluid." 

"And when will we know anything?" 

"Well, usually it takes around a week." 

"A WEEK?!" Jed exploded. "They expect you to wait a week?!" 

"Most women have to, Jed. But, again, because it's me, he's going to rush the results through. I should have them tomorrow." 

"Will you be okay to fly tonight? They won't sedate you or anything, will they?" 

"No, it's a local. But, I'm not flying anywhere, Jed." 

"Abbey, your testing is done. You can fly into Seattle tonight." 

"I'm going to stay here for the results." She spoke softly, knowing what her husband's volatile reaction would be. 

"Don't do this, Abbey." She had expected anger but what she received was misery. 

"Do what?" She tried to sound flip, but in reality it was getting harder and harder to keep her emotions under control. 

"Don't shut me out. You're already starting to shut me out." 

"I'm not shutting you out, Jed. I just want to stay at the farm." 

"You are shutting me out, sweetheart, and I'm NOT going to let you do it. Whatever happens, we are going to go through EVERY step of it together. EVERY damn step. And if that means having the Marines come in and drag you away from the farm and bring you back to me, then that's exactly what I'll do. I'm in this for the long haul, Abbey." 

There was silence on the other line and Jed had no way of knowing if he had completely pissed her off, or if she was just resigned to what he would do. He thought she might hang up on him; he hadn't expected the sniffle. 

"I love you, Jed." The words came out strangled, catching on a sob. 

"I know you do, baby. And I love you and you're going to come to me tonight and I'm going to hold you in my arms all night and tomorrow we'll find out what we're dealing with here." 

"Oh, Jed, I have to go. Bill's ready for me." 

"Abbey, I WILL see you tonight, right?" 

"Yeah," she smiled through her tears. "I'll see you tonight." 

Jed stuck the phone in his pocket, his emotions overflowing – rage at the injustice of it all coursing through his veins. 

"DAMN!" he exploded, kicking at the trashcan. It fell over, paper towels flooding the bathroom floor. "DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!" He continued to kick at the fallen receptacle his shoe connecting with satisfying smashing force. 

"Sir?" Leo poked his head in with a frown. 

Jed stepped back breathing heavily from his exertion. "They're doing a biopsy," he told him. "Ah Christ, Leo." He hit the back of his head repeatedly against the tiled wall. 

"Have faith, my friend. Have faith." 

**** 

It was mid-evening when Abbey arrived at the hotel in Seattle. She wasn't surprised to find Jed's suite empty. She hadn't been expected for another few hours; however, once the decision had been made that she was going to return to Jed, it seemed imperative for her to get back sooner rather than later and she had caught an earlier flight. She set her traveling bag down and made her way toward the bedrooms. She was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and she was sore. Her breasts still ached from being so horribly manipulated and flattened for the mammograms, and the site where the needle had drawn the fluid and tissue throbbed. She knew the black and blue that had been left there was probably already yellowing. 

Still, instead of heading toward the master bedroom, Abbey made her way toward the smaller one knowing that she would find her children sleeping there. She shushed Izzy, who was sitting in a chair reading a book by the glow of her reading lamp, and stepped over to the port-a-cribs. Aislinn was sleeping in the one closest to the door and that was where Abbey stopped to gaze down on her. She was wearing pink shortie pajamas with a picture of "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast on her chest. A curl of blond hair fell over her forehead much in the same way it did on her father and Abbey tenderly brushed it back, gentle enough not to wake her. As she stood watching her innocent little daughter sigh and clutch at her stuffed animal in her sleep, Abbey's eyes began to well with tears. From the moment she had slid her fingers over her breast and felt the tiny lump to the left of her nipple, her primary concern had been losing her breast. It had been easier to focus and worry about that eventuality than it had been to think about the alternative. She had only allowed herself brief forays into the dark world of death but having the biopsy that afternoon had changed everything. Suddenly the scope of the disease she might have had grown in magnitude and she realized that losing her breast might be the least of her worries. 

As she stared down at her beautiful daughter, she remembered watching Pat fight her losing battle with breast cancer. Remembered the kerchiefs on her head, the dark hollow circles under her eyes, the gaunt skin over her face, her skeletal body as she had wasted away to almost nothing. She felt the tears slipping down her cheeks now but was unable to stop them. What was going to happen to her children if that happened to her? Who was going to cuddle them and sing them to sleep at night? Who was going to tell them just how special that they were? Who was going to soothe them when they were scared and make them feel better when they were sick? Who was going to sit down with Aislinn as she had with Elizabeth, Ellie, and Zoey and explain to her about the changes that were going to occur in her body and buy her the products she would need when she got her period? Who was going to explain to her where babies came from when she was six and about safe sex and intimacy when she was ten…Jed would…He'd been through all of it before, had shown he could handle it when he helped Ellie through her first period. The thought was somewhat comforting – that they would have a man like Jed to be both mother and father to them. But, and it was this 'but' that caused her heart to race again and her hands to curl in a white knuckled grip on the crib rail, she might miss it all. Would she be there to help to potty train them and witness their first day at school? Would she live long enough to see them learn how to ride bicycles and make their first communion? Was she going to miss graduations and weddings and grandbabies? A cry of distress slipped through her lips and she turned to flee from the room before she broke down in there completely. 

CJ was just entering the suite when she saw the First Lady race through the room and out onto the balcony. She tentatively made her way toward the balcony and when she opened the glass doors she could hear Abbey taking loud gulping breaths of fresh air, forcing oxygen into her lungs. 

"Abbey?" 

Abbey turned to her, her face ravished with pain. "I don't want to die, CJ," she cried. "I don't want to die!" 

To CJ's surprise, the First Lady buried her face in her hands and began to sob. Harsh, gut wrenching sobs of the deepest anguish imaginable. CJ stepped forward and pulled the smaller woman into her arms. She had never seen Abbey like this and it was scary to watch a woman who was so strong so in control and sure of herself break down – all the walls and barriers completely gone. There was nothing CJ could say to make her feel better, she simply held her and stroked her back and let her try to get everything out of her system. 

Abbey accepted the embrace and the comfort and continued to cry. She cried, as she had not allowed herself to cry since all of this had started. She sobbed at the unfairness, of what she might miss out on. She sobbed for herself, for her husband, and for her children. 

When her sobs had finally faded into soft shudders, she pulled back, slightly embarrassed, and accepted the handkerchief CJ was handing her. 

"Sorry about that, CJ. I don't usually…you know…come apart like that." She dabbed at her eyes. 

"I think you needed it. Have you…talked to the President about how you feel?" 

"He knows that I'm scared about a mastectomy. But, this is so hard on him, CJ. Jed is a fixer and he's got the ego to go with that. He thinks that he can fix anybody's problems, but he can't fix this. He can't make it better and that drives him crazy." 

Both women looked up as they heard a door open and the sound of voices as the President and his advisors entered the suite. Abbey saw the look of surprise on Jed's face when he saw her and watched him turn to send the others away. 

Jed watched Abbey open the door from the balcony and as she got closer he could see that her face was streaked with tears, her eyes swollen from them. His heart froze and for a moment he couldn't breathe. 

"Did you get the results already?" 

"No," she shook her head negatively and continued to walk straight into his outstretched arms. He pulled her tightly against him, locking him to her, his nose buried in her hair. He felt her body tighten and pull back from him slightly. He knew what the problem was when he saw her lift her arms protectively over her breasts. Damn what an idiot he was; she was always sore after her mammograms, and he should have remembered that. 

"Sorry, you're sore, aren't you?" 

Abbey nodded. "I feel like my breasts are just one big bruise." 

Jed pulled her back into his embrace, this time more gently. "Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." It had become a mantra to him, holding her, soothing her. It was at times like these that Jed truly noticed how small his wife really was. Fragile was not a term he generally used to describe Abbey, but tonight that was how she felt to him – small and fragile and scared. He tipped her chin to look into her bloodshot eyes. "Believe me?" 

"Yes." She gave him a tremulous smile. He knew she was lying but he felt better hearing it. 

**** 

The next morning Jed stood at the sink wearing just his pajama bottoms as he prepared to shave. Before he lathered his jaw with shaving cream, his hands moved over Abbey's toiletries that littered the counter top. He popped the lid of her deodorant inhaling the flowery scent that was so different from his spicier one. He powdered the back of his hand with her talcum powder enjoying the feminine scent that was Abbey. God, it was good to have her back here. Having her across the country, unable to physically help her, had been pure torture, but now that she was back he knew that they could handle whatever life hit them with. They could handle anything, as long as they were together. At least, that was what he told himself. 

Abbey re-entered the bathroom, her hair was still wet from her shower and she was barefooted, but she was already wearing the dark green skirt and cream colored sleeveless silk blouse she had chosen to campaign in. She grabbed her toothbrush and began to brush her teeth while she watched Jed lather up his square jaw. For some odd reason, she had always loved to watch her husband shave. There was something just so very masculine about it, and she loved how his skin smelled and felt after he was freshly shaven. She was rinsing her mouth with mouthwash when she heard the phone ringing in the suite. 

"I'll get it," she told him. She wasn't concerned. She had been told she would be called with her test results later in the afternoon. 

"Hello." She was smiling as she answered the phone. 

"Hi, Abbey. It's Bill." 

"Hi, Bill." Abbey swallowed and her heart began to pound in her chest. Feeling lightheaded, she sat on the chair next to the phone. 

"Listen, I pulled a few strings and I got your biopsy result this morning." 

"Oh…okay…thanks." Abbey was struggling to keep her breathing normal and herself under control, but she had started to shake again. "So, what's up? Do I have cancer? Is it malignant?" 

"Abbey, is Jed there?" 

Oh God. Abbey closed her eyes and sank back against the chair. It was bad news. It had to be if he wanted to make sure that Jed was with her. 

"Yes," her voice was nearly a whisper, her throat so dry she couldn't swallow. "Jed's here. Tell me, Bill." 


	23. Summer Storms

"Well, I'm glad he's there because you're going to want to celebrate. It's not cancer, Abbey." 

The rest of the conversation was merely a blur to Abbey. All she kept hearing were the words "it's not cancer". After being so totally convinced that it was cancer, she was completely shocked to hear that it was not. She hung up the phone and headed toward the bathroom as if in a daze, she simply could not believe that this was over, that all her worries had been unfounded. 

Jed was humming away, just getting ready to step into the shower when she walked into the bathroom. Her face was white, her eyes wide and suspiciously shiny. 

"That was Bill on the phone. He had my results." Her voice was flat, completely devoid of emotion. 

Jed's chest burned as he held back his own emotions, steeling himself to be strong for her, bracing himself for her breakdown, his arms ready to open wide and comfort her through this trauma. "And?" It was one simple word but it held a wealth of restrained feeling behind it. Abbey could see his jaw clenching and tightening as he awaited the news that might forever alter their lives. 

"It's not cancer, Jed." Rather than shouting it to the rooftops, Abbey's stunned words were almost a whisper as if she were afraid that if she spoke too loudly God might take it all back. 

Jed's eyes widened. Despite his words to Abbey to the contrary, he too had been prepared for the worse. "It's not…cancer?" He hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath until his words came out on that held in breath. 

"No…" She shook her head negatively, but now a smile was starting to curve across her lips as she finally allowed herself to believe that it was true. He could see now that her tears were ones of joy and disbelief rather than pain. 

"Oh my GOD!" It was Jed who shouted it to the rooftops. He opened his arms and Abbey flew into them laughing with abandon, tears of relief sliding down her cheeks. He whirled her around the small bathroom whooping with exultation and kissing her face with enthusiastic gusto until she finally begged to be set down on her feet again before she got sick. 

Jed did as asked. He set her down before him staring deeply into her lovely moss colored eyes now framed by dark wet lashes. 

"I guess you were right," she finally admitted. "I was worried for nothing. Bill said it was just something left over from when I had that bout of mastitis when I was nursing the twins." 

Jed nodded, taking credit where none was due. He ran a thumb under her eye letting a tear fall over it, unable to tell her that his fears had been just as great as hers had been. 

"Well, you need to get in the shower and I need to make a phone call." 

"CJ?" 

"No, your mother." 

Jed watched her walk away from the bathroom still in a bit of awe over that statement. At some point, he would have to find out what exactly had gone on between Abbey and his mother. He stripped off his boxers and stepped into the shower and under the warm beat of the water. It was only when he was safely ensconced behind the shower door that he allowed himself to be overwhelmed by all his pent up emotion. Still, it did not release easily; it had never been easy for Jed Bartlet to cry and now was no exception. 

Abbey frowned at the harsh sound emanating from the bathroom as she began to approach it after getting off the phone with her mother-in-law. Entering the room she could hear the painful sound of choked sobs and she moved, slowly at first, but them more quickly to open the shower door. Standing before her she saw her naked husband leaning forward with hands braced against the tiled wall, his head down, and he was crying. No, crying was the wrong word; he was sobbing, gut wrenching horrible sounding sobs, the kind that were emitted from people who didn't allow themselves to cry and didn't know how to let go of themselves and let it out properly. It was only in that moment that Abbey realized just how effected her husband had been by all of this, how much he had kept from her to keep her sane and strong. Without a thought, she stepped into the shower fully clothed and wrapped her arms around him from behind, not caring that she was ruining a $600 suit. 

Jed tensed, realizing that he was not alone. For one instant he tried to hold back his explosive release of emotion but soon gave in and relaxed again, knowing he could no longer keep this from her. He turned around then, wrapping his arms around her small frame and holding her tightly to him. 

"Abbey," he choked. 

"It's okay, Jed. It's okay." She was comforting him now, her hands moving over his bare back in soothing circles ignoring the pain in her chest. 

Jed smoothed her wet hair back from her face and for one instant she saw the tormented look on his face, in his bloodshot blue eyes and then he buried that face in the soft curve of her neck and cried like a baby. 

"I was so scared, Abbey. I was so scared that I was going to lose you…" 

"Ssh…I know, baby…I know." She ran her fingers over his wet hair holding his head to her as she would one of their children. "Everything's going to be all right now. It's all over." 

**** 

Abbey awoke with a jolt, her body drenched in sweat. She looked around, disoriented for a moment, then took in her surroundings. She was in her bedroom. It was only a nightmare. She was alive and she was at the farm. Her husband was lying in the bed beside her. She was alive. She took a deep breath and kicked off the confining sheets to get to her feet. Making her way to her armoire, she pulled her thin cotton summer nightgown up over her head. 

Jed felt Abbey rise from the bed and surreptitiously watched her slip out of her nightgown. He was very conscious of the fact that she was uncomfortable with him looking at her. Since her biopsy she had yet to change her clothes while he was in the room. So, it was with some surprise that he noticed just how bruised the procedure had left her. The spot on her breast where the needle had entered was still a reddish purple bull's-eye and the skin surrounding it bruised yellowish/gray. 

When she turned toward the bathroom, towel in hand, she noticed that Jed's eyes were on her. She gave a soft start and held the towel to her chest. She knew the bruises would heal and that things could have been so much worse, but she really hadn't wanted Jed to see her again until she was completely healed. She wanted him to view her breast the same way that he had before the lump issue had arisen. "Looks pretty hideous, doesn't it?" 

"Nah," he said sliding out of bed and padding over to her. He ran a finger lightly over the bruise. "But it does look sore. Does it still bother you?" 

"Not too much. Mainly when I touch it and when I put on one of these." She dangled a pale blue bra from her fingertips. 

"So don't put it on." Jed wiggled his eyebrows at her and made a grab for the bra. 

"You wish." She pulled it back from him. They hadn't made love since she'd found out her lump had not been cancerous, not because Jed hadn't wanted to, but because of her misguided need to return to him unsullied. Deep down inside she knew that Jed could overlook the bruising but it had left her feeling something less than sexy, and she was going to have to regain that feeling before she could make love with him again. 

"Besides," she narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm mad at you." 

"What did I do?" 

"You couldn't wait more than a year after I was gone to hook up with some young bimbo?" 

"What in the blue blazes are you talking about?" Jed was at a total loss. 

"I had a dream last night. Well, more like a nightmare. I died. I saw it all. I saw my funeral. I saw the girls standing at my coffin and I saw the kids in your arms crying." 

"Ah, shit, Abs. Why didn't you wake me up?" He knew that despite the good news, it was going to take his wife a while to get over the emotional scars her fears had caused. 

"Because within a year you were re-married. She was Ellie's age, for Chrissake. Blond and built, although I suspect implants. I saw her potty training MY kids. They were calling her MOMMY, and you kissed her when you got back from the Oval Office. You kissed her the way that you kiss me, long and hard, no quick little peck." 

Jed wanted to laugh at the absurdity; this was, after all, a dream. But, he could see that it had shaken Abbey up quite a bit, in fact her eyes were getting shiny as he simply stared at her at a loss as to how to respond. 

"Oh, this is fucking ridiculous." She wiped at her eyes impatiently. "It was dream. I hold you in no way accountable." She tried to brush by him on her way into the bathroom, but he stepped in front of her not letting her move past him. 

"A blonde bimbo Ellie's age, huh?" 

"Don't make fun of me." 

"I'm not making fun of you. Are you sure it was me in your dream?" 

"Of course it was you." 

"Really? Cause my taste tends to run toward sexy, smart mouthed little redheads with freckles and flashing green eyes." 

Abbey grinned and started to move by him, but before she could quite make it, he placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, the humor gone from his eyes. 

"By the way, just for the record. You're it for me, dollface. No blondes, no brunettes, not even another redhead. Nobody could ever take your place, Abbey. My body could never want another woman's body the way that it wants yours; my mind could never connect with another woman the way that it does with you; and my heart could never love another woman the way that it loves you." 

"Good answer, Bartlet. Good answer." She tiptoed up slightly to gently press her lips to his, rubbing her cheek against his now smooth jaw. "You are one damn fine man." 

**** 

They walked along the edge of the pond hand and hand, relaxing and enjoying a summer afternoon stroll after their picnic lunch. Aislinn and Nicholas raced up ahead trying to catch up with the ducks that seemed to stay just out of reach of the two toddlers. Their parents smiled at each other as they listened to the children shriek with delight as the ducks flapped their wings spraying water every which way. 

"Mama, wan ducky." Nicholas turned and called back to her. 

Abbey let go of Jed's hand and approached the twosome with her baggie of bread slices. Jed stood back watching the sunlight play on her vivid hair as she bent to break up the bread and pass it out to the children who in turn tossed it out to the water for the ducks to eat. He laughed as he watched Abbey grab at their son's britches to keep him from stepping into the pond in an effort to get closer to the ducks. She curled a finger into one of the belt loops on his jean shorts holding him in place while he leaned forward against her restraint and threw breadcrumbs out to the ducks. 

Aislinn, on the other hand, squatted at the water's edge in her candy cane striped overall shorts, coaxing the baby ducklings toward her with surprisingly good imitation quacks. Seeing that the ducks were wary of the big dog that was pacing between Abbey and the kids, Jed quietly called Max to his side. Once the dog was gone, two of the baby ducklings made their way toward Aislinn's outstretched hand. She squealed with excitement when one of soft yellow babies pecked a bread crumb from her hand and she was able to touch its soft back before it raced back to the safety of the water. She turned to Jed with astonished eyes. 

"Touch ducky, Daddy." She raced to him and grabbed his hand pulling him toward the water's edge so he could join her in her efforts to touch another ducky. 

After feeding the ducks, they made their way along the edge of the brook that fed into the pond. Abbey sat on the bench and watched Jed roll up his jeans over his calves to wade in the icy water with the kids, lifting rocks in a search for salamanders. The last time she had been here, she had been so frightened, had felt so alone. Now, with Jed and the children here, listening to their laughter, it was impossible to feel alone. The tightness in her chest was gone, replaced with the sweet warmth of love and tenderness that came from being with her family. Her clean bill of health had given her a new lease on life. It no longer pained her to watch her husband playing with her children, wondering how much longer she would be around to watch them. It no longer pained her to think of her children growing up and all the milestones they would reach along the way. Now all she felt was peace and joy. She kicked her sandals off and made her way down to wade in the water with her family, joining them in their quest. 

"Look, Mama." Nicholas held a tiny spotted salamander out for her to touch. Abbey oo'd and aww'd over it and ran a finger down its back much to her son's delight. 

"Me mander, Daddy." Aislinn pleaded. 

"I'm looking for another one, sunshine," he said, as he lifted another rock. "Nicholas, let your sister have a turn holding the salamander." 

Abbey was helping in the transfer from one sibling to the other so she did not witness her husband's bare foot slipping on a slick wet rock; she simply heard his shout. 

"Whoa…SHIT!" he cried out, as he toppled back on his ass in the icy brook. Abbey turned and saw him sitting in the water, his sandy brown hair over his brow, a boyish scowl crossing his face as he heard her burst into laughter. 

"Quit laughing and help me," he ordered her, holding his hand out. 

Still laughing, Abbey gave him her hand. 

"You think this is funny?" he asked, a devilish glint in his blue eyes. Abbey felt his grip tighten on her wrist. 

"Josiah Bartlet, don't you dare…" She tried to pull back. 

Jed gave an evil laugh and yanked her down into the water next to him. 

"SHIT!" Abbey gasped as her whole body came into contact with the icy water. 

"Sit…sit…sit…" Aislinn and Nicholas danced around splashing water. Abbey gave a deep sigh and rolled her eyes at Jed. 

He flashed her a rueful grin and shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, at least they come by it honestly." 

**** 

Darkness had descended on the farm. Abbey lay back on the porch swing, her legs dangling over the edge as she let the utter tranquility of the warm summer night envelop her in its embrace. The night was not silent. Frogs that made their home on the marshy edges of the pond croaked loudly. Cicadas played out a musical hum. Lowing cows and soft horse whickers emanated from the barn and occasionally a loon would add its haunting call to lovely evening melody – a melody that never failed to make Abbey thankful that this was the place that she called home. Whenever she was cooped up in the White House or trapped in a hotel on the road, always, she knew, that this place was here just waiting for the day that she would return. 

She heard the screen door bang shut and looked up to see Jed coming out with a glass of iced tea in each hand. 

"The kids go down okay?" she asked. 

"Yeah, I think they were worn out from chasing the ducks around all day." He handed her a tall glass and she sat up so that he could sit down on the swing with her, but instead of turning and sitting next to him, she simply laid back, her head on his lap. 

Jed leaned back into the chair swinging them lightly as he began to absently run his fingers through Abbey's silky hair. 

"It's nice here," he sighed. 

"Ah, the master of understatement." 

"You miss it." It was not a question. 

"I do. But, we'll be back here in just over four years." 

"Mmm…that confident, are you?" 

"Yup. People will come around. They'll remember why they voted for you in the first place." 

"Maybe." 

"That doesn't sound like the Bartlet fighting spirit I heard at the convention." 

"I think I realized a lot of things over this past week. Sad to say with me being this age, but maybe finding that lump made me grow up." 

"Grow up?" 

"Yeah. We kept thinking of it in terms of punishment, but now I think God was sending me a wake up call. This election is not the 'be all, end all' thing that I've been making it out to be. Sure I want to win. As a competitor I hate to lose. I hate to think of the Republicans trying to tear down all that I've accomplished over the past four years. I hate the idea of not getting four more years to finish everything that I've wanted to achieve. I hate the idea that if I don't get elected my legacy is not going to amount to much of anything. But you know what? None of that meant a damn thing when I thought I might lose you." 

Abbey didn't say a word, merely pulled his hand from where his fingers were playing in her hair to kiss his palm. 

"There is something that I need to ask you. Something that's been nagging at me." 

"Okay." She twisted around on his lap so she could look up at him. "Shoot." 

"Did you honestly believe that I could ever stop loving you? Did you really believe that after everything that we've been through, knowing how I feel about you, that I would just walk away from you when things got messy or hard? That isn't me, Abbey. That isn't our marriage." 

"You think I don't know that? No, Jed, I was never afraid of you walking away. Neither your conscience nor your heart would let you do that. You're a good man, Jed. A loyal man, a moral man, and most of the times that is very comforting." 

"Most of the time?" 

"For the first time in my life, I had to wonder if you might stay with me because it was the right thing to do. If you would force yourself to touch me and make love to me, even if you no longer had the desire to do so." 

"Abbey…" 

"No, let me get this out. I know that I tease you all the time about your libido and about your desire to pounce on me at any given moment, but that's part of who you are. I LOVE that you want me like that. Do you have any idea how good it makes me feel to know that you want me with as much intensity as you did when we were first married? That you continue to want me with the same intensity that I want you? To think that I might have lost that scared me because that would change a very big part of our relationship." 

"Abbey, when I make love to you, I make love to ALL of you, not just one part of your body. I want you so much, because I love you so much and that love will never change no matter what happens to our bodies. You didn't turn away from me when I was diagnosed with the M.S.." 

"Of course not, but that's different, nothing has really changed." 

"Not yet, but you don't know what you could be dealing with ten or twenty years down the road – could be nothing, could be something." 

"But you'll still be you, maybe not the same, but it will still be you." 

"Exactly. You just made my point beautifully. You'd still be you even without either of your breasts and I'd still want you and love you." 

"I know that. Deep down, I always knew that. It's funny how irrational fear can make you. But I think that you were right. I think that this scare was a wake up call. I have to admit I wasn't looking forward to this part of the campaign push. I was dreading these last three months – the speeches, the fundraisers and knowing that we'd be separated for most of them, but now…" 

"Now what?" 

"Now I can't wait to get out there. Between my appendix bursting and finding the lump, I have a new lease on life. It's kind of like God almost took it all away as his way of saying 'Don't take it all for granted, Abbey. Use your time here wisely.'" 

"You have, Abbey. My God, you've given the world five beautiful, bright children and you are a doctor. You chose to devote your life to helping people through your profession. You've volunteered at Red Cross units and free health clinics." 

"Other than raising Aislinn and Nicholas, the rest of all that has been in the past. I know that I've been pretty wrapped up with being a mother for the past two years, so much so that I've neglected being the First Lady that I could be and I'm not going to apologize for that. I did what I had to do for my children. But, I don't want to be just a figurehead, a pretty face on your arm. I'm going to do everything in my power to get you re-elected and then I'm going to carve out a place for myself and work on my own legacy." 

Jed smiled down at her. He loved hearing the passion back in her voice and he'd always loved what a fighter she was. "To the campaign." He lifted his glass of iced tea. 

"To the campaign." She touched her glass to his with a grin and they both gazed out over the darkened fields into a future they could not know. They could not know what battles and what pitfalls might lie ahead, but what they did know – thanks to this summer filled with storms – was that they were strong enough and resilient enough to withstand damn near anything that was thrown their way. Maybe that was what God had been trying to remind them of all along. That it wasn't about winning or losing, that it was about the strength of love and a life well lived. It was a lesson that both Abbey and Jed had learned well and would not soon forget. 

The End 


End file.
